When you associate being gay with negative things and people

[dsc]

you make it that much harder for people to be openly gay. I am, finally, going to be totally out at work. Even though I am mostly sure things will be OK I am going to be a little nervous. Like it or not, being gay is associated, in many people's minds, with negative character traits and or people. Gays are considered just a little less moral than other people. Gays are considered just a little less honest than other people. Gays are considered just a little less courageous than other people. Why is that? It is because, at least in part, people associate being gay with people they don't like.

Everytime you say Limbaugh is gay because he had a gay mentor, you make gay teachers like me just a little more suspect in parents' minds. Everytime you say gays lack courage by saying cowards are gay you make gay soldiers, like Eric Alva and Richard Stout, just a little more suspect in military eyes. I know you don't mean to. I know you think it is about the hypocrisy or about insulting Republicans. But it is also, just a little, about those of us, who day in and day out, have to decide can we tell person x we are gay. Can I tell my classes I am gay? I will find out this year. I hope the answer is yes. I think the answer is yes. But everytime, people associate gayness with negativity, you make that answer just a little more likely to be no.

[ColbertWatcher]

1. Kick and rec to the greatest! n/t

[annabanana]

2. I wish you the very best in your declaration. .

I hope you aren't subjected to ugly backlash, but that you will still be just "you" in the eyes of those who didn't know before.:hug:

[madeline_con]

3. "Can I tell my classes I am gay?"

Only if:

You have college level students.

You don't mind the battle of your life to keep your job.

I'm terribly afraid this could happen.

[dsc]

6. I have kind of pre approved it

First, it won't be a shock to be blunt. 40, single, sponser of gay straight alliance so people won't be exactly fainting from the vapors upon finding out. Second, I broached it, as in "they might accidently find out" type thing. I got at least an amber light. I intend to wait until a student asks and then simply say yes. No discussion of boy friends, sex, or anything like that.

[madeline_con]

11. I worry about parents' reaction (some students, too) when it happens.

Lot of 'phobes and fundies out there! Best wishes.

My husband points out that anyone who goes to public school in the US from K-12 has had one or more gay teachers, whether they know it or not.

[dsc]

14. I would be lying to say I am not a little worried on some level

but since they all assume I am gay anyhow and I am currently just refusing to answer the question, I don't see a huge difference.

[madeline_con]

15. True enough.

[arikara]

51. I know that even if you are sure others are aware

that its still a big deal to "officially" come out. My aunt did so 20 years ago, I was the first in the family she came out to. I just looked at her and said "I already knew that" and she visibly relaxed.

As far as personal sex lives and relationships, hetero teachers don't or shouldn't go around discussing this with students either so why ever should anyone expect you to? Good luck and I hope you are feeling better afterwards.

[dsc]

52. they wear wedding rings

they have pictures of spouses and children. I am hardly going to be discussing my sex life. I am, when I am directly asked, going to admit to being gay.

[fishwax]

4. k/r

:kick:

[dbackjon]

5. K&R

[bdf]

7. I hope it all works out for you

In an ideal world, I wouldn't have to say that because you wouldn't have any worries about coming out. Sadly, this isn't an ideal world—but with every person like you who decides to come out it gets a little closer to perfection.

[dsc]

9. thanks

I would be lying if I didn't admit to being nervous. I just don't like the mixed message I have been sending.

[bdf]

33. Is it too late

To recommend the idea attributed to various civilizations around ancient greece?

When you have an important decision to make, consider it both sober and drunk. Sober is going to tell you what the intellectual parts of your brain think; drunk is going to tell you what the reptillian parts of your brain (the parts responsible for emotion) think. Unless they both agree, don't do it.

I use this technique all the time. But it's really just an excuse to get drunk. :beer:

Anyway, I know you'll do OK. :hug: Trust me on this. I'm psychic. OK, my therapist spells that "psychotic" but that's just a spellong errir.

[dsc]

55. I don't do drunk well

or maybe I do it all too well, whichever, the drunk one is a non starter.

[Voice for Peace]

49. best of luck

for the record, I associate gay people with courage, honesty, passion, creativity, strength.

And I was thrilled to see my daughters (now in early 20's) as part of a generation of kids
who thought it was pretty radically cool to be gay. All experimented openly and with
pride.

I know they're not representative of all of America's young people.. there is still a very
long way to go; but I think it's huge progress from a generation ago.

[populistdriven]

8. what we need is a new 3 letter word for repukes nt

[dsc]

10. ass?

[populistdriven]

13. lol! but... thats so ass? sounds wierd. nt

[Arnold Judas Rimmer]

54. git?

Used in a sentence - that republican is such a smegging royal git!

[joshcryer]

12. You rock dsc.

No, really, you do.

But can I still bash gay white males who gentrify certain areas? }( :P :D

Just teasing. (Mostly, heh.)

[BlueJazz]

16. I must be Weird

Every Gay Person/Friend I've ever known is a pretty well-adjusted nice, intelligent, cool person.

I've come to associate Gay with "Nice"

[JerseygirlCT]

18. You're not weird. I'm the same way

My default on "gay" is a positive one, because most of the people I've known who are gay have been terrific people.

[dsc]

24. I am glad you have

I know it isn't everyone but it is a noisy crowd which can make it seem like everyone, especially when they get in your head.

[JerseygirlCT]

17. I wish you luck with it.

And I wish all of us a world without this insidious bigotry!

[tbyg52]

19. Best wishes to you. I appreciate what you are doing and admire your courage. nt

[tekisui]

20. knr. I wish you the best.

You are helping to end the horrible negative use of the term "gay", by being who you are.

:hug:

[dsc]

21. thanks

but you haven't seen me on an atheletic field, there I live down to the stereotype bigtime.

[flvegan]

22. I admit...I DID do that when I was 9.

I didn't even know what "gay" really meant.

I grew out of it. Hope others do as well.

Good luck with your classes.

[ZombieHorde]

23. K&R

[MsTryska]

25. hmmm

"Like it or not, being gay is associated, in many people's minds, with negative character traits and or people. Gays are considered just a little less moral than other people. Gays are considered just a little less honest than other people. Gays are considered just a little less courageous than other people. Why is that? It is because, at least in part, people associate being gay with people they don't like."


Not on my watch it's not.

[MonteLukast]

26. "Crocs are so gay!"*

I think the use of "gay" to mean corny/lame/uncool might be a bit harder to give up. It was a staple at my middle school and early high school. It does kind of flow off the tongue, just like, unfortunately, "Czechoslovakia" sounds prettier and more flowing than "Czech Republic" and "Slovak Republic" do.

I guess we'll just have to go: "Oh jeez, that movie was so g-- I mean, lame!"

*Not knocking Crocs; just using them to illustrate a point.

[MsTryska]

27. I dunno - i never called stuff "gay"

well unless it was fabulous!

actually things usually go in the opposite direction fro me. as in...

"Wow - he dresses like a straight boy."

[MonteLukast]

28. "What a Gap Girl" or "Mr. J. Crew"...

I do kind of miss "gay" in the sense of happy. That's what "gay" meant to me, until late elementary school, actually.

[cobalt1999]

29. In the bible belt, they think better of gays than atheists.

Good luck with being open. I hope all works out well for you.

[dsc]

30. thanks

Yeah we are pretty religious here that is for sure.

[awoke_in_2003]

38. Well, in Texas

it seems we are both hated quite a bit (atheist hetero, by the way)

[distantearlywarning]

31. K & R!

[sicksicksick_N_tired]

32. I remember when being gay meant a positive state of being.

We live in a state of time when words have lost original meaning.

So, none of us should EVER allow a "word" to offend or demean us.

We MUST be stronger than ANY "word".

Shrug it off, kindred spirit. Shrug it off! None of us should be affected, let alone ruled by the misuse of "words". And, with respect to "association",...the ONLY association people will ever truly understand is the one with you, in person.

:hug:

[undeterred]

34. Ironically I think part of the negative association

comes from being closeted. I live in one of two Congressional Districts in the whole country with an openly gay congressperson, Tammy Baldwin. She's always been open and honest about her orientation, which really disarms her critics. There are homophobes in our district, to be sure, but they see her as an honest politician because she is honest about herself.

Yes, you can tell your classes that you are gay. And if some people have trouble with it, you can help them by being who you really are and that will challenge them to do the right thing and accept you.

[mrreowwr_kittty]

35. I really hate when people assume that homophobes are all closeted gays.

Not hardly. Most virulent homophobes are people who are very invested in maintaining rigid gender roles. I've no doubt that some men who express violent sentiments toward gay people may be gay themselves, but most of them are raging misogynists whose hatred toward women is the real motivation of their animus toward gay people.

[maddezmom]

36. K&R

thanks for the reminder and the lesson. :hug:

[NashVegas]

37. Best of Luck!

You don't need it though, you're such a great DUer, you make your luck, dsc.

[awoke_in_2003]

39. "Gays are considered just a little less moral than other people"

atheists get the same thing, too. One day I hope we can actually evolve as a soceity.

[dsc]

41. yeah atheists get it bigtime

religion is huge down here to say the least.

[TuxedoKat]

40. Good luck to you.

I admire your courage as well.

[tomreedtoon]

42. Frankly, did you think it was going to be easy?

Do you think anything worthwile is ever easy? I don't believe in making it more difficult for anyone to be themselves, but then I don't run the world. Tom Tomorrow does.

I think that anyone who is gay, who publicly announces it, is courageous. That means having to overcome something. And the "something" to which the OP refers is pretty damn ingrained in society.

[1]

43. it is simple...

gay and democrat/liberal = cool.
gay and republican/conservative = a person we should mock and scorn. particularly because they are gay! taunt. hate. throw rocks at. demand their ouster or death.



see? simple.

[BigBearJohn]

44. Let us know how it works out for you. Good luck.

[Prophet 451]

45. I did this when I was a kid

For the record, I'm sorry, I was a kid and didn't know any better.

Since then, I've had punch-ups with my brothers over his misuse of the term (nothing major, just the kind of rough-housing that brothers do).

That said, the weirdness in the US about being gay and a teacher just baffles me. My secondary (high school) history teacher, known to us as Tank (body like a Sherman, voice like an artillery shell) was openly gay, as was my college PoliSci lecturer.

[knitter4democracy]

46. Some friends are going through a rough patch, and I wonder if this is why.

Some people are coming out of the woodwork to fling the poo, and I wonder if this is why--that the fact that they're gay is part of it. No one's said anything, so I can't know for sure, but it would explain some of the vitriol (like the homophobes were just waiting for them to screw up somehow and had to pile on once they did).

I wish you the best this school year. Your kids will respect you for telling the truth, and the parents might have their eyes opened when they see their kids not caring about it one way or the other.

[Brazenly Liberal]

47. "Gays are considered just a little less courageous..."

That floors me.

As I've said here before, I raised two boys who grew up to be wonderful gay men of whom I am enormously proud. I've learned courage from them. They, like everyone in the GLBT community, have to muster more bravery than the rest of us just to answer the phone or walk out the front door.

dsc, I wish you luck and love and justice. Courage and honesty and honor are things you clearly already have.

[dsc]

50. thanks

I just hope I can live up to it all. The people who came before me left awfully big shoes to fill. Also people like your sons.

[ThatsMyBarack]

48. Go get 'em. dsc!

:yourock:

[isentropic]

53. I don't have to worry about a job so I can be a bit cavalier...I figure anybody who dislikes me for

being gay isn't anybody I give a shit about anyway. (I know it's not that easy for everybody)