The new customer service: no human beings

[undeterred]

Have you ever called the 800 number on your account and all you get are options with recorded messages? Then you go back to the website and scour it for information... no, that's the only phone number they're going to give you. And there is NO OPTION for talking to a human being. What are you supposed to do? I left a message on a contact form for someone to call me. I wonder if they got rid of the whole call center.

[NMDemDist2]

1. pretend you don't have a push button phone. usually if you don't push ANY numbers

they'll switch you to a human

usually.....

[Greyhound]

2. Likely. Please name names, which company are you talking about? n/t

[undeterred]

13. Its happening at a lot of places.

It's happened to me calling a doctor's office- I listened to hospital ads for 5 minutes and then it said I was being transferred to voice mail. But the voice mail was full, so it cut me off.

It's happened to me contacting a former employer- I was a "field" employee so I honestly wasn't sure which office (what state) the Human Resouces department was in. I looked through the entire website and couldn't find this information or a number to call.

It's happened to me making a car payment- the recording tells you how to pay and assumes that is the only question you could possibly have. No way to get to a human. Press zero and you will be cut off.

[Cronus Protagonist]

3. Swear into the phone and you'll likely get a human response

Swearing into these robots registers as an upset customer, and so you get priority treatment. I always sweat and cuss at the robots, and sometimes it's not theatrical as I have an accent and they mostly cannot read my voice well.

[csziggy]

4. This source tells you how to reach a human for many companies

Customer service numbers: http://www.contacthelp.com/

[notadmblnd]

5. pressing zero will sometimes get you a live body on the phone

[Captain Angry]

6. The end goal is to make you never call.

It's like Bush with FEMA. If you gut the agency so that people don't expect service, it's easier to kill it outright.

I worked in technical support, and watched my company decide that customers didn't pay enough for the product to get good support.

So slowly, it went from excellent US based support, to electronic (email/chat) support, to offshore phone, to offshore electronic, to fewer offshore electronic.

The next logical step is to cancel warranties and support altogether. Sell the product at cost+X% and when it breaks, tell the customer to buy a new one.

All I can recommend is that you take your business elsewhere if possible.

Side note: If the company you're dealing with is a publicly traded company, you can find their phone number on the SEC's website. Every publicly traded company must staff a phone number with a live human being to direct calls. Find that number and tell THEM to have somebody call you, even if it's the CEO. As silly as that sounds, it works, every time. I know people that have been through hell trying to get help that get new computers when they go through the CEO hotline.

[Indenturedebtor]

7. Just keep pressing zero - usually works for me n/t

[HereSince1628]

8. Public Corporations must list officers

We had problems with Kohl's Department store and got stonewalled through a dozen attempts of working through their channels.

We went to a local library and with the help of a reference librarian got the name of a VP and a corporate headquarters telephone. We called it and we actually got action...the secretary was most interested in how we got the number (probably looking to ax someone for leaking).

[LeftinOH]

9. If you sneeze or clear your throat, you get the response: "I'm sorry, I didn't catch

that. Please state...."

[barbtries]

10. bots are the scourge of modern life

i hate them, really do hate them. some consumer friendly businesses will connect you to a human if you say "agent" or "representative" but others after you've done everything possible to try to get a person hang up on you. it's frustration meted out daily. whose terrible idea was it to get rid of the person answering the phone?

[meegbear]

11. If you have the iPhone ...

you can download for free "Dial Zero":

Quickly dial the customer service numbers of over 600 companies and skip directly to a person. Don't wait through annoying voice prompts any longer.

[JimmyJubes]

12. There is no such thing as customer service

In the last 8 yrs it has become "We The Corporation" not "We The People"

[undeterred]

14. So even those crappy low paying call center jobs are gone.

[leftofcool]

15. Naw, outsourced to India

and elsewhere

[MaryEllen71]

24. no they are not

some of them employ at home agents.

[Neshanic]

16. I just hit "O" continuously. Then a person comes on.

[cloudbase]

17. Stay on the line,

your call is important to us.

This call may be monitored for quality assurance purposes.


hahahahahahaha

[ljm2002]

18. I often don't respond at all...

...and usually that will get me to a human eventually. Also responding with zero to every prompt sometimes works.

What I hate the most are the ones who insist that you TALK to the damned bot. If I know what the choices are, I'm reasonably okay with responding by pushing a number, but damned if I want to have a conversation with a bot. When I do get to an actual human being in these cases, I always inform them politely that I hate talking to machines and will they please relay that information on up the chain. Sometimes they say they will.

The mechanisms we put in place are no longer put there to serve the people, we the people are there to serve the machine. This is now quite literally how it works. Time for a change...

[undeterred]

19. Oh, that reminds me of my co-worker calling Dell

Suddenly we would hear shouting: "YES" "NO!" It would sound like he was having an argument, but he was just talking to the automated phone. I prefer typing the info online if possible.

[JerseygirlCT]

20. HATE that. And hate all the advertising they subject you to

while they make you wait for the next pre-recorded prompt.

Drives me up the wall. I want a person. That's why I used the phone.

[JerseygirlCT]

21. You know what else makes me crazy?

They waste your time insisting you push in a zillion numbers (to speed the process) and then if you finally get a human being, before you get to your question or problem, you have to go right back through reciting ALL the same information again.

Did your stupid machine not just request those numbers from me? Are you not even now just looking at all of the information on the screen?

[undeterred]

22. Yes

And they make you verify your address and phone number, even if you just talked to them yesterday.

[ljm2002]

23. Yes, that's one of my pet peeves too...

...and I always let them know. Politely, though -- I know it isn't the fault of the person on the other end. But it's downright infuriating!

[Evoman]

25. I worked at a call center.

What often happens is that people input their numbers wrong. It happened all the time. The bot prompted the caller for their phone number or account number. It would help us a lot and be a lot quicker because their data would autopopulate. But, the customers would always put the numbers in wrong, so then we have to ask them for their phone number again. Then they get mad at us. It was frustrating.

As to the guy below asking why we would verify everything below. That is for your own protection. The number of scammers trying to get info off of us was amazing. Without verification, they could have access to all your phone numbers, address and even drivers license info, in some cases. Credit card info as well.

[JerseygirlCT]

27. Well, but if you have to assume they've done it wrong

and ask for the info again anyway, why put people through the frustration of pushing all those buttons before they get to a person? Why ask for the numbers that way to begin with - just cut to the chase and ask when you've got someone in person.

I've found, though I enter the numbers slowly enough and clearly, it often takes 2-3 times for the machine to recognize them. Some places I KNOW it won't take the first time - almost like it's scripted that way.

So if user error is going to be a problem, and you're going to duplicate the process later anyway, why waste the time and add to a customer's frustration in the first place?

[Evoman]

29. Well, I don't know who you are calling, so I can't say.

But we would only ask for the numbers again if the number they entered didn't autopopulate. About half the time it would work.

As to why we would do it...well, how my employers at the time justified it is that that's how the customers want it. Apparently, they feel they might as well do something while they are on hold waiting, if it means the process will go by faster once they get a person. The average queue time was between 5 to 10 minutes.

[JerseygirlCT]

30. LOL. Sounds like the usual corporate think.

Not "how in the world can we get that wait time down?" But "let's give them something stupid to do so they don't realize they're waiting forever".

I think I'd rather a count of how long it will be - if it's going to be 10, I can put the phone down and get something else done!

[MindPilot]

26. Most companies don't answer email either.

As an IT guy I frequently send emails to software companies asking if their particular package will do X or Y.

One would think that when they see my address from one of the most recognized names in the world, they might see dollar signs, but I very, very rarely get any response at all.

On the other hand, I have to give props to Campbell-Hausfeld for recently taking care of me regarding a nail gun that failed just after the warranty expired.

[JerseygirlCT]

28. Another excellent company for customer service:

if you're a musician or in need of any of those sort of supplies or equipment: Sweetwater.

We e-mailed them recently, needed a software code for something we'd bought months and months ago - third party stuff included with the equipment we bought. We'd misplaced the information.

I got an answer to an e-mail in less than a couple of hours. And a solution to the problem in less than 24 hours. Mind-blowing, really, in this day and age.

So as you say, to give props to those who really do it right!