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Indenturedebtor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-15-08 06:20 PM
Original message
The Doublespeak Dictionary for 2008
Help me out here guys.

I'd like to compile a list of what our Orwellian task masters really mean when they use certain words and phrases.

---------------------------------

"Choice"

- General blanket term used to defend a policy which funnels public/private money into one corporation or another

- General blanket term used to wrap a flag around a policy which is harmful to the public

Examples:

1) "We believe that telecommunications companies should be able to choose how best to use their infrastructure."

Translation - telecoms should be able to do whatever is necessary in order to best milk the public, control the flow of information, and generally use their monopoly on local infrastructure to extort local businesses and politicians, and to smother any possible competition.

2) "We believe that patients should have the right to choose their doctors."

Translation - we are strongly in support of the right of insurance and pharmaceutical companies to choose patient's doctors and treatment regimes. We are strongly opposed to any measure that would result in a patient not having to CHOOSE between indistinguishable insurance companies which gouge their pockets and seek to avoid providing care by whatever means available. Further we need to be certain that patients can only choose between a select few overpriced drugs from a select few companies. We strongly oppose any patient's ability to obtain the same medicines or treatments from any affordable source.

3) "Pharmacists should have the right to choose whether or not to provide birth control."

Translation - we support the rights of individuals to choose to do what we suggest. Anyone who makes the "right" choice will be encouraged to do so.

4) "Social security currently offers the individual no options. We believe that private citizens should be able to choose where their money goes."

Translation - after looting the social security coffers to funnel money to our cronies, we want to make sure that no tax hikes on our cronies will be called for in order to keep social security solvent. Our solution is to offer you the choice of either funneling your money into wallstreet so that market manipulators can hoover it up, or just go about your business and forget about that whole social safety net thing.

-----------------------------------

"Freedom"

- The freedom of the wealthy to do whatever they want, of corporations to do whatever is necessary for profit, and of the poor to fight and die for profit

Examples:

1) "We are strongly opposed to any measure that places restrictions on the consumer's freedom to eat what they want to eat!"

Translation - we want to be able to contaminate your food with whatever poison maximizes profits. If we can save .000001 cents on the dollar by substituting uranium for transfats as a preservative, we need the freedom to do so. Besides we have enough money that we don't have to eat that crap anyways.

2) "Freedom isn't free!"

Translation - rejoice my poor and downtrodden servants! We have decided that your bodies and souls would be more profitable if we ground them up and turned them into oil and no bid contracts! After all, hearts and minds make a fantastic lubricant!

3) "One of the great founding principles of this great nation was the freedom of religion!"

Translation - we believe that we should have the freedom to impose our religion on you and your children. Afterall, that's what our religion compells us to do, and we are of the one true religion. Your thing is more like a cult or something... so do what we say!

-------------------------------------------------------------

"Right to Work State"

- A staunchly Republican State that has been completely corrupted by Corporations and other medium to large LLCs.

Examples:

1) "This is a Right to Work state, so you don't have to give notice before quitting, but we do appreciate it."

Translation - We can fire you for any reason at any time without any notice, and we won't suffer any consequences. But if you don't give us notice we will make 100% certain that your resume will be ruined for life. Please be here 2 hours early on Sunday to watch the "optional" presentation on disability and unemployment insurance. We have a sweetheart deal with the local Aflac dealer where we will get 20% of the profits from your exhorbitant premiums. He will also offer death insurance that will supplement the 200 dollars we will give your wife when your unsafe work environment, and overwork kills you.

---------------------------------------------------------------

"Fiscal Responsibility"

- The systematic destruction of social programs such as education, research, healthcare, social security, disability, welfare, etc, so that money can be freed up to supplement new national borrowing in the interests of funneling public funds to the thugs that rigged the election and installed us in office.

*See 2000-2008
**See also "Loot", "Pillage", "Piracy", "Borrow and Spend"

Examples:

1) "The Republican Party has always stood for Fiscal Responsibility!"

Translation - The Republican Party has always been committed to bankrupting this country. If we make you all stupid, hungry, and afraid enough, then we can finally completely and utterly enslave you all. Afterall, a strong middle class is necessary for a strong Democracy; and our lives would be much easier if this was a Dictatorship!

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Free Media"

- A Media that is completely unfettered by regulation, responsibility, or commitment to the truth. A free media requires the removal of most if not all constraints on media consolidation and monopolies in general. A fully free media meets all of the aforementioned requirements, and is also free to formulate a message with the assistance of government and major corporations.

*See Fox News/Newscorp

Examples:

1) "Any regulation that seeks to limit the ability of our Free Media to meet the needs of the market, threatens to undermine this pillar of OUR Democracy!"

Translation - We have all of the money and the power, and we will defend to the death our freedom to use that money and power to poison your brains, stifle dissent, promote our agenda(s), justify wars, sell our products, and damn well anything we please. If you manage to find a candidate that we haven't completely corrupted we will use our media to crush them. Hey don't be glum, at least we're not assasinating so many of your Proletariat Leaders anymore right? Character assasination is so much more entertaining anyways don't you think? If we were to allow the "public" to regulate the media then how could we get away with our agenda?

-------------------------------------------------------

"Business Ethics"

- The pure unfettered pursuit of profit in the complete absence of any other consideration such as standard ethics or morals.

Examples:

1) "By caving to union demands, thus failing to attempt to maximize shareholder value, CEO Bob Q Citizen pursued a course of action that was in direct conflict with standard Business Ethics."

Translation - Bob tried to buck the system by behaving ethically towards his employees and society in general. We will be certain to make an example of him through the Free Media. He will never work in this town again... the unethical bastard!

--------------------------------------------------------

"Liberal Media"

- Any Media which is remotely fact based and employs even one reporter with a minimal standard of classical journalism.

- Any Media that does not promote a facist, theocratic, ultra capitalist agenda.

Examples:

1) "Well the Liberal Media is having a field day with Bush. I think that history will show that Bush was actually truly a man of great vision, dedication, intelligence, courage, and capability."

Translation - I'm pissing in your ear right now. But you like it don't you... you dirty boy.

2) "The Liberal Media continues to attack good old American Family Values, with it's promotion of the Gay Agenda."

Translation - Anyone who doesn't tow the theocratic facist worldview that we've carefully constructed out of fear, ignorance, and bigotry for your continued subjugation, is a threat that must be eliminated.

--------------------------------------------

"Gay Agenda"

- A scary term we like to use to demonize the ongoing struggle of Homosexuals to achieve equal rights and equal protection under the law

Examples:

1) "California has clearly fallen victim to the Gay Agenda by allowing "The Gays" to Marry!"

Translation - Please ratchet up your fear and hatred of the hated minority of the month so that you don't wake up to the fact that most of the hardship in your life comes from us.

2) "Disney has clearly given in to the Gay Agenda with their new movie Wall-E."

Translation - We don't know who allowed this representation of classical homosexual stereotypes in an anthropomorphised and likeable character, but they will be dealt with in a quiet and effective manner. We cannot allow our constituents to view gay people as human beings! We'll have to find a new enemy to replace gay people with, and that can be hard sometimes!

---------------------------------------------

"Patriot"

- A Patriot can be recognised by the number of flag pins they are wearing (3 minimum), and of course by Party Affiliation. Anyone who tows the party line is a patriot.

* See also: WASP Corporatist Bigot

Examples:

1) "Rush Limbaugh is a true Patriot."

Translation - Rush Limbaugh is the poster-flab for Neo-Con Facism.

-----------------------------------------------

"Socialist"

- A Socialist is anyone who wants tax money to go to any cause or person other than a Corporate Coffer. Their ultimate goal is to take all of your money and give you nothing in return. I hear they're even interested in instituting a Sperm Tax, so that even before you are born they can tax you just in case.

* See also Librul

Examples:

1) "Those damn Socialists want to take nearly every penny you earn so that they don't have to do anything anymore. They just want to lay around and live the good life with your money!"

Translation - These dangerous characters believe that the people who work for a living should enjoy at least a basic standard of living including a house, food, healthcare, and time to spend with your family. We have to stop them at all costs! I can't work... my hands are too pretty!

-----------------------------------------------



Please help me add more and refine the ones I have here! I will alphabatise in the future. Thanks!
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angrycarpenter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-15-08 07:06 PM
Response to Original message
1. free market
The freedom of multinational corporations to protect and extend their markets by political manipulation (bribes) and to also crush any competition by any means fair or foul. (foul preferred)


Offshore drilling- (v)The practice of hiding money offshore thereby drilling the tax system. (n) A large club used to beat democrats over the head.


Love- (1)an outdated concept that has been updated to mean That which I control. (2)The feeling one should have towards money or power.

Hate- The emotion that drives all worthwhile human activity.

Taxes- (1) A horrible invention of communists that must be abolished at all costs. (2) An even larger club used to beat democrats over the head.




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Indenturedebtor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-16-08 02:01 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. Hahaha Love it :D I will cut my own definitions down and wrap yours in
So long as I get more anyways! Come on people now is your chance to translate Pukespeak!
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asteroid2003QQ47 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-16-08 06:17 AM
Response to Reply #1
4. The term "multinational" is itself now doublespeak.
Supramultinational seems a more accurate definition as corporations
have become the government of the the world.

-----------------------------------------
You have meddled with the primal forces of nature, Mr. Beale, and I won't have it. Is that clear? You think you've merely stopped a business deal? That is not the case. The Arabs have taken billions of dollars out of this country, and now they must put it back. It is ebb and flow, tidal gravity. It is ecological balance. You are an old man who thinks in terms of nations and peoples. There are no nations; there are no peoples. There are no Russians. There are no Arabs. There are no third worlds. There is no West. There is only one holistic system of systems; one vast, interwoven, interacting, multivaried, multinational dominion of dollars.
--Arthur Jensen, Network
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ColbertWatcher Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-16-08 02:52 AM
Response to Original message
3. Reform
A business-related term meaning:
"to alter in such a way that it benefits those doing the "reforming"

Examples:
The Bush Administration reformed Medicare.
The Bush Administration reformed personal bankruptcy laws...

Truthiness Encyclopedia


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Indenturedebtor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-17-08 04:21 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. Holy hell... I had no idea there was a truthiness encyclopedia! Thanks! n/t
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readmoreoften Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-17-08 04:31 PM
Response to Original message
6. This only has 1 rec? It should have more than that! Bookmarked.
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