The Joy of Surfing ... Conservapedia!!!!

[ThoughtCriminal]

As a clearinghouse of right-wingnut ideas on science, history and everything, it is fascinating to visit the conservative answer to Wikipedia:
Conservapedia

http://www.conservapedia.com/Main_Page

Here is a sampling of some of the many "truths" one can find there:

Patriotism:
Patriotism means unquestioning obedience and loyalty to the Leader of the country, so long as he is true to conservative Christian principles.
The opposite of patriotism, treason, is the act of questioning, criticizing or voting against the Leader. However, it is not treason to oppose a Democrat president

The 19th Amendment:
was a violation of the principle of states' rights.

National Socialist German Workers’ Party:
All Nazis are atheists. However, in fairness, it should be noted that not all atheists are necessarily Nazis (for example, some are Communists).

The Law of Mass Conservation:
Matter cannot be created (except by the Almighty during the Genesis creation event<1>) or destroyed (except by the Almighty at the End of Days), it can only change form.

Nobel Prize:
The selection process has become political, as it was not given to Ronald Reagan or Pope John Paul II or to anyone who criticizes the theory of evolution.

Intelligent Design:
The theory of Intelligent Design has little or no support outside the United States, because most other developed nations are too far down the path of un-Godliness and anti-Christianity

Nicolaus Copernicus:
To this day, most Protestant countries reject the Copernican theory

Dinosaur:
Let's just say that, to borrow a phrase from Lewis Black, we are dealing with people who think "The Flintstones" was a documentary.

Global Warming:
Also, these scientists are mostly liberal athiests, untroubled by the hubris that man can destroy the Earth which God gave him.

Wikipedia:
Wikipedia is 6 times more liberal than the American public.

-----

It is amusing to click on the "History" tab and examine the "Diffs". Then follow the edit history of some individuals.

Hiram Whickermeister III for example:

http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Special:Contributions&target=Hiram+Whickermeister+III

Who likes to edit entries to emphasize the christian fundamentalist viewpoint.

For example, he changed:

"Newer vaccines are being used against sexually transmitted diseases, which raises more difficult ethical issues like should children get a vaccine that will encourage them to behave irresponsibly? It's a difficult question."

to -

"Newer vaccines are being used against sexually transmitted diseases. This is wrong, as it frees children to behave irresponsibly. Vaccines against STDs are unnecessary for those who live Godly Christian lives; such diseases are the just punishment of those who are un-Godly."

So that -

"Liberal vagueness removed (there is no doubt that vaccines against STDs are bad"

[muntrv]

1. Crappy writing totally says reich wing.

[Counciltucky]

2. Wow...

Is there a chance at all that this is satire?

If not, this is dangerous.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

3. Lots of creative satiric editing in there. Me like.

The entry on Vaccines, particularly, is a riot. Be sure to follow the entire edit history!

[Irreverend IX]

8. These people are so lobotomized...

They can't even tell that invaders are turning their encyclopedia into a self-parody. I think I heard that ebaumsworld.com and other comedy sites were urging their users to register accounts and mess with Conservapedia. I mean, Hiram Whickermeister III?

[ThoughtCriminal]

9. It has gotten to the point where right-wing "Reality"

is indistinguishable from parody of right-wing reality.

[Gabi Hayes]

4. this is right up there in the "Best threads, ever" category!

you can't write better satire than that first one,

except, maybe, that quote about Anne Coulter: "She doesn't hate faggots!"

thanks a brazilian!

big KR

[ixion]

5. blantant intellectual dishonesty and ignorance

wow. just wow. :wow:

[Bright Eyes]

6. maybe we should "correct" their errors? [end]

[cynatnite]

7. And such a thorough bio of their leader, too

:rofl:

http://www.conservapedia.com/George_W._Bush

[ThoughtCriminal]

10. A few more entries

Theory of Relativity:
Nothing useful has even been built based on the theory of relativity. Scientists claim that this is because relativity only applies to extremely heavy or fast objects and rely on future scientists to finally come up with the proof that will vindicate their life's work.

Kangaroo:
Like all modern animals, modern kangaroos originated in the Middle East and are the descendants of the two founding members of the modern kangaroo baramin that were taken aboard Noah's Ark prior to the Great Flood...
After the Flood, kangaroos bred from the Ark passengers migrated to Australia.

This is even better than "The Onion"

[Cabcere]

11. Has Stephen Colbert mentioned the Conservapedia on his show?

Seems like it would be right up his alley (if he is not, in fact, already behind the whole thing - which wouldn't surprise me in the least). ;)

(Edited to fix spelling.)

[ironflange]

12. This is the most idiotic thing I've found there, so far

The “Angel of Death” in one of the worst extermination camps, Auschwitz, was Dr. Josef Mengele. Mengele had obtained a PhD based on Darwinian evolution, and had written his dissertation thesis on racial differences among humans. He supported and reinforced Nazi theories of racial superiority with phony research claims. He was an ardent supporter of “survival of the fittest” and he performed cruel experiments on humans at the concentration camp in furtherance of the theory of evolution. He attempted to prove that disease was the product of racial inferiority, and he would amputate healthy limbs and perform other cruel surgeries on prisoners. Today Mengele is criticized by everyone, but supporters of the theory of evolution omit mentioning how much Mengele’s work was based on that theory. Mengele was never punished for his crimes, and after the war he fled to Brazil, where decades later he drowned due to having a stroke while swimming.

See? It's all Darwin's fault!

:eyes:

[BurtWorm]

13. More like Conservapoopdia.

:eyes:

[ConsAreLiars]

14. Why are you promoting that site?

Seems pretty commonplace. A small group of crazies flaunting their ignorance. Why do you want to become their publicist?

[gatorboy]

15. I love that place.

http://www.conservapedia.com/Huns

http://www.conservapedia.com/Roman_Empire

Roman Empire

"An empire started by the Romans"



priceless....

[Rex]

16. I think you hit a comic goldmine.

Just check out their history lectures that will teach the individual all about what they need to know so shut up and read!

http://www.conservapedia.com/World_History_Lecture_One

“World history” is the history of mankind. Nothing is off-limits. Every source is available to us, from the Bible to rock music. Everything mankind has ever written, invented, observed, and destroyed is part of “World history.”

Many of you have taken U.S. History, which is the story of the last 400 years in our overwhelmingly Christian country. World History is a different story: over 5000 years, much of it non-Christian. World History is not the same as Western Civilization, which consists of pre- and post-Christian Europe. World History includes Islam and Hinduism and all the forces that continue to shape our world to this day. U.S. History cannot explain 9/11, violence in the Middle East, or hostility between India and Pakistan. World history does.

I love World history for several reasons. The more we understand other religions the better we can deal with world conflicts. I also like studying the discovery of knowledge and great inventions. Do you know what civilization invented the wheel? Bread? Mathematics? Chocolate? Finally, the greatest military feats are found in World history, so if you like military history then you’ll love World history. Your challenge is to find what you like about World history, and then connect everything else to it. Find ways to relate World history to you, and enjoy it.

Can you dig it!? :dunce:

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

19. The sad thing is that's one of the saner entries.

I like the first paragraph of that. No sarcasm.

[mcctatas]

17. Are we sure this isn't some clever liberal's idea of a joke...

I mean, they don't really believe all that?...Oh, they do?...never mind! :yoiks:

[Rex]

18. And now for the end. World History Lecture Fourteen.

Our journey through world history reaches the present in this final lecture. II. World Trade

One word sums up most historians’ view of the world today: “globalism”. That was not even a word 20 years ago. “Globalism” means treating the world as one political unit, as one massive village. Distances appear to be shortening between people, cultures and nations. Travel is more affordable for more people. Mobility is greater. Trade among nations is larger. Television and the internet link the world’s population of 6 or so billion people like never before.

One invention in late 1947 made most of this possible. Three scientists invented the transistor at Bell Labs in Murray Hill, New Jersey (exit 44 on I-78, near Berkeley Heights). This tiny invention brought about a massive revolution in computers and communications. With improvements, the transistor permitted microelectronic control and amplification of signals. This greatly advanced communication, as in radio, television, telephone and later the internet. This also permitted the storage of massive amounts of information, as in computers. Bell Labs, then part of AT&T, made this invention available to the entire world. Soon transistors replaced vacuum tubes in radios and televisions, enabling them to work better. The Japanese flooded the market with improved products.

Did Dubya write this shit? I'm learning things like never before! Fasterer! Betterer!

[Nevernose]

20. The word was first used in print in 1959

From the OED:
Hence {sm}globalism, internationalism; globali{sm}zation, the act of globalizing; {sm}globalize v. trans., to render global; so globalized ppl. adj.

1959 Economist 4 Apr. 65/1 Italy's ‘globalised quota’ for imports of cars has been increased. 1961 WEBSTER, Globalism... Globalization. 1962 Spectator 5 Oct. 495 Globalisation is, indeed, a staggering concept. 1962 Sunday Times 28 Jan. 12/2 Our own comparatively timid intentions towards globalising the Common Market. 1965 Economist 23 Jan. 316/1 Between globalism and isolationism there is extensive middle ground.

And I'm a real fan of "Distances appear to be shortening between people." Sounds like a head injury to me, or an acid flashback. Maybe he should go to a doctor?

[LeftishBrit]

21. OMG!

Tony Blair is only mentioned as someone who praised Rowling, in an entry on "Harry Potter" - well, maybe Harry Potter deserves more of a mention than Tony.

I looked up 'Rumsfeld' and the name only appeared in the following scary
bit:

Judicial Activism
From Conservapedia
Jump to: navigation, search
There are two major types of judicial activism practiced in the United States' court system:

1. Liberal judges striking down laws that uphold core conservative American values
2. Liberal judges refusing to strike down laws that subvert core conservative American values

The most famous example of this is Roe v. Wade. Other examples include Brown v Board of Education<1> and Loving v Virginia<2> which stripped state control over education and marriage, respectively, putting it in the hands of the federal government; McCreary County v. ACLU in which judges stripped free speech and religious freedom from McCreary County <3>; Hamdan v. Rumsfeld in which the Supreme Court sided with terrorists over the protection of the United States of America. <4> and Schiavo v. Schiavo, in which judges ordered the death of an innocent handicapped woman against the wishes of her parents and many pro-life supporters.<5>.

[LeftishBrit]

22. And here is the last part of the entry for 'Impeachment'

Bill Clinton was impeached by the House of Representatives on December 19, 1998, on charges of perjury and obstruction of justice relating to a scandal involving his personal conduct with a woman. He was acquitted by the Senate on February 12, 1999 on a party-line vote.

President Clinton was riding his in the polls and ready to pick his successor for the White House by late 1998. His leadership enabled the Democratic Party to do surprisingly well in the mid-term elections, and President Clinton was seeking to leave a lasting legacy.

Then the House of Representatives impeached him for making false statements under oath, which is perjury, and trial was scheduled for the Senate in 1999. First Lady Hillary Clinton accused her opponents of being part of a "vast right-wing conspiracy" against her husband. The Democratic Senators all lined up behind President Clinton, promising to vote for acquittal.

Republicans enjoyed a majority in the Senate but lacked votes anywhere close to the requisite 2/3rd majority to convict. President Clinton was a lame-duck at that point anyway, and the real battle was over his ability to influence politics beyond his term.

The managers of the impeachment presented their case, but the Senate prevented them from calling key witnesses such as Clinton’s closest aids. The procedural rules hamstrung the trial and served to protect the president. Without the presentation of the full case, President Clinton easily survived the final vote.

But the victory was Pyrrhic. The Democratic presidential nominee in 2000, Al Gore, felt he had to distance himself from Clinton and that probably made the difference on Election Day. Since then, Clinton has had little success in campaigning for candidates, recently failing with Governor Gray Davis in California in the recall. Hillary Clinton, pollsters choice to run in 2004, apparently feels it is too soon to make an attempt. The political ramifications of the impeachment trial continue.

Retrieved from "http://www.conservapedia.com/Impeachment"


(Humph - that last paragraph is certainly questionable!)