What name should Scooter change to before he goes to the Pokey

[zulchzulu]

Scooter had better change his name before he begins serving time (I know, he'll be pardoned on Dec. 25, 2008, but play along) in the pokey.

What name should he change to:

[shain from kane]

1. The Dancing Bare.

After all, he is an expert on bears having sex with little girls.

The Apprentice.

[Madspirit]

2. He will be in a Federal Country Club...

...so I doubt he will be a shower accessory or anything like that.
Lee

[PDittie]

3. Roto-Rooter.

[LSparkle]

8. LOL!

[Ignacio Upton]

4. Irving McPardoned

'Cause that's what the decider will help him with.

[jobycom]

5. Bear.

Or was that scene in O'Reilly's novel?

[LSparkle]

11. Nope, that was in Scooter -- I mean, Bear's novel ...

[jobycom]

13. That's it. It stuck. Bear Scooter Libby! nt

[Name removed]

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[JackBeck]

9. ...

:spray:

[MADem]

7. He;d better brush up on his basketball and softball skills if he wants to be popular

Interesting article on CLUB FED rules and guidelines:


http://www.fastcompany.com/articles/2002/09/novak.html

As a first-time felon, David Novak didn't know what to expect in prison camp. He worried that the experience would be like something out of The Shawshank Redemption, and he'd have to fight for his life. But he had also heard rumors about Club Fed and how white-collar criminals did not-so-hard time playing golf and tennis (which is untrue - they play basketball and softball). "Like a lot of first-time offenders, I was really confused," says Novak, who had owned and operated a flight-school prior to his mail-fraud conviction. "I expected the best and the worst."

After completing his nearly year long sentence, he wanted to give other first-time felons the sort of practical and candid advice that he wished he had gotten beforehand. He wrote a 50-page letter to his lawyer, hoping to give his clients an insider's perspective. That letter - and the journal that Novak kept at Eglin - inspired his self-published book, Downtime: A Guide to Federal Incarceration, and Davrie Communications, his consulting business. Prison camp, he tells clients, is neither The Shawshank Redemption, nor Club Fed. It's somewhere in between the two.....

[IChing]

10. His italian name "Vespa"

which means WASP

I'm not kidding

[MADem]

19. Well, reading up on CLUB FED survival, all the white collar criminals there are...REPUBLICAN!

What a shock, not!

http://www.fastcompany.com/online/62/realitycheck.html
What was the hardest adjustment? The noise. It was so loud in the chow hall that it was hard to carry on a conversation. Prison is basically a crowded, cramped place. I can't recall a single period of time when I didn't hear someone yelling, talking, snoring, or flushing the toilet. There's never any silence.

What kind of work did you do? I worked in the bakery, so I was awakened by a guard at 3 AM to report to work by 3:30. We made mostly hot-dog and hamburger buns and occasionally fun stuff like birthday cakes. There were seven guys on my crew. All white-collar. Pretty high net worth. Everybody was a Republican. I was the only person without an advanced degree.


Do the white-collar criminals get along with the other inmates? Prison is just like anywhere else. The drug dealers ate together; the white-collar types ate together. The drug dealers gravitated to the basketball or softball teams, while the white-collar criminals attended Toastmasters meetings. It wasn't uncommon for color lines to be crossed, but it was uncommon for socioeconomic lines to be crossed.

Did you make any friends? There was a group of us who ate together on a regular basis: a large drug smuggler who now sells mega-yachts, a Colombian money launderer, a telemarketing guy from Florida, and a dentist. But I don't think you make friends. You make acquaintances.

How much contact did you have with the outside world? I spoke three times a day with my wife, Currie, who was my girlfriend at the time. We would talk at 7:30 AM, at 5 PM, and then at 9 PM. Now the Federal Bureau of Prisons limits each inmate to 300 minutes of phone time a month. I can't imagine maintaining family ties with so little time.

How do you help your clients prepare? I talk about what-if scenarios. What if there's a problem with your kids? Or your taxes? Sometimes I suggest that they tape off a six-by-eight-foot area in their living room and get used to spending time there. I also encourage my clients to set achievable goals while in prison. I've had clients who decided to learn how to play guitar, study Spanish, or write a novel. The week before I went in, I came across a list of the 100 greatest English-language novels. I had already read about 40 of them. I read the rest in prison.

Is there anything you miss about prison? I want to be very careful how I say this, but occasionally I miss the freedom from responsibility. You get up, you get your three hots and a cot, and you go to bed. In many respects, it was the least taxing period of my life. I had hours every day to read, and I miss that. But would I be willing to go back? Absolutely not.

[Name removed]

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[0rganism]

14. "The Apprentice"

what comes around, goes around

[Solly Mack]

15. There is absolutely nothing funny about prison rape

[Midlodemocrat]

17. Oh, Solly. You need to lighten up!

Joking about prison rape is funny, don't you see? Otherwise, why would a DUer post about it?

:sarcasm:

[Solly Mack]

21. Yes and I should also lighten up that Libby needs to change his name to

Mary...or any other woman's name...and get used to being a shower accessory...because everyone knows women are shower accessories.

[Madspirit]

20. There is absolutely NOTHING funny...

Thank-you. I get really tired of rape jokes at a progressive site. I don't wish rape on ANYONE.
Lee

[wicket]

22. Amen

n/t

[Burma Jones]

16. Barbed Spiky Anus

That would be a good name

[Atman]

18. "Twinky"

He's a tiny, tiny man. Some big mofo in da block will love this dude in a tank top and super-short denim cut-offs.

.

[swimboy]

23. Prison rape is an horrific issue for serious discussion not one for progressives to joke about.

[ncrainbowgrrl]

24. Locking.

Prison rape is not funny.

It won't be funny in the next thread either.

Thanks for taking notice

- the GD mods