BREAKING! WMDs Discovered in Iranian Hen House. Fox News is Watching the Situation.

[Bjorn Against]

TEHRAN  – Intelligence sources are reporting that large quantities of  biological weapons are being stored in an Iranian hen house.  Fox News reporters are watching the situation at the hen house very closely and have concluded that if we don’t act quickly terrorists will take over America and everyone will die.

An undercover intelligence official who answers only to the name of Curveball tells Fox that not only do these Weapons of Mass Destruction pose a serious threat to America ’s future, but they have already been used against the White House.

“We first started investigating the presence of these WMDs a few years ago when a turkey that was being used as part of the White House’s Thanksgiving celebration started checking out the President.”



“At first the President was surprised by how friendly the bird was, but after a few minutes the President warmed up and realized that the bird made him feel really warm, and he got excited to have a new friend.”



“The next morning the President woke up with a really bad rash, and upon investigating the causes for his rash we realized that the turkey that he had spent the night with was really a biological weapon which we were able to trace back to this Iranian hen house.”

While doctors were able to treat the President’s rash they warned that if other Americans were to be exposed to this type of biological attack they might not be so lucky.  According to Fox News medical expert Dr. Laura “Our President is a very strong man who we believe is the second coming of Christ.  Just because he can survive this does not mean that ordinary Americans can.  In order to ensure the survival of America we must follow the path of Jesus and bomb Iran into the Stone Age before this rash effects any more people.”

Fox News analysts that are watching the hen house inform us that in order to protect America from the effects of this rash we will need to launch targeted air strikes against every home within a five-hundred mile radius of the hen house.  During the time of the bombing Fox assures our loyal viewers that we will be there to film the entire thing and then edit it down to a sanitized version so everyone will be able to wave their flags and cheer while the brown skinned people are being killed.

Before the bombing of the area surrounding the hen house can commence however Americans will be forced to listen to the whining of those terrorist loving liberals who don’t believe that the hen house poses a threat to America .  The liberals will try to protect the hen house, but Fox News is watching the situation at the hen house closely and we will ensure that everyone knows that if they don’t trust our pundit commanders on the ground then they will be labeled as traitors that hate America .