I want to see a paint factory blowing up

[arcadian]

"I want to see a paint factory blowing up. I want to see an oil refinery explode. I want to see a tornado hit a church on Sunday. I want to know there is some guy running through the K-mart with an automatic weapon firing at the clerks. I want to see thousands of people in the streets killing police men. I want to hear about a nuclear meltdown. I want to know the stock market dropped by 2000 points in one day. I want to see people under pressure! Sirens, flame, smoke, bodies, graves being built, parents weeping, exciting TV, I just want some entertainment. You know what I love the most, is big chunks of concrete and firing wood falling out of the sky and people are running and trying to get out of the way. It's the kind of guy I am!

At least I admit it! The more bad news the faster the system collapses, fine by me!"


"I will not 'share' anything with you. I will not 'relate' to you, and you will not 'identify' with me. I will give you no 'input,' and I will expect no 'feedback'."

"Sometime during my life, toilet paper became bathroom tissue, false teeth became dental appliances, the dump became the landfill, partly cloudy became partly sunny."

"Well, we like war! We're a war-like people. We like war because we're good at it! You know why we're good at it? Because we get a lot of practice. This country is only 200 years old, and we've already been involved in ten major wars. We average a major war every twenty years in this country. So we're good at it! And its a good thing too because we aren't much good at anything else anymore. Can't build a decent car, can't make a TV set or VCR worth a fuck. Can't educate our young people, get health care to our old people. But we can bomb the shìt out of your country alright! Especially if your country is full of brown people. Oh we like that don't we? That's our hobby: Bombing brown people. Iraq, Panama, Grenada, Libya...you got some brown people in your country, tell them to watch the fúck out, or we'll god-damn bomb them! Well when's the last white people that we bombed? Can you remember the last time we bombed any white people? The Germans! Those were the only ones and that's because they were trying to cut in on our action...they wanted to dominate the world...bullSHIT, that's our fuckin job!!!"


RIP George Carlin

[Clark2008]

1. I like Carlin, but as the daughter of an engineer, I always

took offense at that last quote.

Yes, we could make decent cars, VCRs and TVs, but the post-80s hype regarding how "wondermous" Japanese versions of these items were made people THINK none of the American items were as good. WRONG.

My American-made VCR (with parts designed by my father) lasted two decades (until my son fed it a PB&J). I still own an American-made TV (still works just fine, thank you very much - and yes, it's not a flat screen and it's huge, but I have the room) and my American automobile has NEVER gone to the shop, whilst hubby's German POS spends more time in the shop than out.

[loveable liberal]

2. what a perfect rant!

Thanks.

[DS1]

3. Sounds like some of his newer stuff

he definitely had a bitter stage during the last 4/5 years

[arcadian]

4. The paint factory blowing up bit was recorded a week before the L.A. riots.

In 1992 I believe.

[Kindigger]

5. Jeebus

And to think I've been referred to a psychiatrist for verbalizing such things. :wtf:

[arcadian]

7. Carlin was a valve, he pointed out the absurdity of our lives.

It's hilarious to me thinking about somebody say these things, especially now that "9/11 has changed everything".

[arcadian]

6. Everywhere I go, I ask the question, how's the water?

"Everywhere I go, I ask the question, how's the water? Haven't gotten a positive answer yet. Last year I was in 40 states, 100 cities, not one audience was able to say to me, YES, enjoy some of our fine local water, it is pure, it is good. Course I know a lot of people don't talk that way anymore, but nobody trusts the local water supply, nobody. And that amuses me. I like that. I admit I'm a bit perverted. But, it amuses me that no one can really trust the water anymore. And the thing I like about it the most is, the system is beginning to collapse. And everything is slowly breaking down. I enjoy chaos and disorder, not just because it helps me professionally, they're also my hobby."

[arcadian]

8. The planet is fine

We're so self-important. So self-important. Everybody's going to save something now. "Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails." And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. What? Are these fucking people kidding me? Save the planet, we don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet. We haven't learned how to care for one another, we're gonna save the fucking planet?

I'm getting tired of that shit. Tired of that shit. I'm tired of fucking Earth Day, I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren't enough bicycle paths. People trying to make the world save for their Volvos. Besides, environmentalists don't give a shit about the planet. They don't care about the planet. Not in the abstract they don't. Not in the abstract they don't. You know what they're interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. They're worried that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn't impress me.

Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet. Nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine. The PEOPLE are fucked. Difference. Difference. The planet is fine. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. Been here four and a half billion years. Did you ever think about the arithmetic? The planet has been here four and a half billion years. We've been here, what, a hundred thousand? Maybe two hundred thousand? And we've only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we're a threat? That somehow we're gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that's just a-floatin' around the sun?

The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through all kinds of things worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles...hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worlwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages...And we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet...the planet...the planet isn't going anywhere. WE ARE!

We're going away. Pack your shit, folks. We're going away. And we won't leave much of a trace, either. Thank God for that. Maybe a little styrofoam. Maybe. A little styrofoam. The planet'll be here and we'll be long gone. Just another failed mutation. Just another closed-end biological mistake. An evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet'll shake us off like a bad case of fleas. A surface nuisance.

You wanna know how the planet's doing? Ask those people at Pompeii, who are frozen into position from volcanic ash, how the planet's doing. You wanna know if the planet's all right, ask those people in Mexico City or Armenia or a hundred other places buried under thousands of tons of earthquake rubble, if they feel like a threat to the planet this week. Or how about those people in Kilowaia, Hawaii, who built their homes right next to an active volcano, and then wonder why they have lava in the living room.

The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we're gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, 'cause that's what it does. It's a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover, the earth will be renewed, and if it's true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new pardigm: the earth plus plastic. The earth doesn't share our prejudice towards plastic. Plastic came out of the earth. The earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children. Could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn't know how to make it. Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, "Why are we here?" Plastic...asshole.

So, the plastic is here, our job is done, we can be phased out now. And I think that's begun. Don't you think that's already started? I think, to be fair, the planet sees us as a mild threat. Something to be dealt with. And the planet can defend itself in an organized, collective way, the way a beehive or an ant colony can. A collective defense mechanism. The planet will think of something. What would you do if you were the planet? How would you defend yourself against this troublesome, pesky species? Let's see... Viruses. Viruses might be good. They seem vulnerable to viruses. And, uh...viruses are tricky, always mutating and forming new strains whenever a vaccine is developed. Perhaps, this first virus could be one that compromises the immune system of these creatures. Perhaps a human immunodeficiency virus, making them vulnerable to all sorts of other diseases and infections that might come along. And maybe it could be spread sexually, making them a little reluctant to engage in the act of reproduction.

Well, that's a poetic note. And it's a start. And I can dream, can't I? See I don't worry about the little things: bees, trees, whales, snails. I think we're part of a greater wisdom than we will ever understand. A higher order. Call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. The Big Electron...whoooa. Whoooa. Whoooa. It doesn't punish, it doesn't reward, it doesn't judge at all. It just is. And so are we. For a little while.