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Kerrytravelers (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 12:49 AM Original message |
Post your favorite George Carlin lines: |
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Rosco T. (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 12:53 AM Response to Original message |
1. A few.. |
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Archae (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 01:05 AM Response to Reply #1 |
11. New Nabisco Tits! |
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ccharles000 (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 02:45 AM Response to Reply #11 |
29. Yuck! |
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hfojvt (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 01:19 AM Response to Reply #1 |
20. So he's to blame for that one |
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RadiationTherapy (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 08:38 AM Response to Reply #20 |
60. The people it's about won't get it anyway! Relax! nt |
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hfojvt (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 01:30 AM Response to Reply #1 |
23. I thought I had heard Gallagher say the parkway/driveway one |
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gkhouston (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 12:16 PM Response to Reply #23 |
89. Oh yes. Much earlier. n/t |
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TheWatcher (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 04:08 AM Response to Reply #1 |
31. Delete. |
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The_Casual_Observer (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 12:53 AM Response to Original message |
2. Jumbo shrimp |
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Occulus (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 12:54 AM Response to Original message |
3. Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the sky |
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Arugula Latte (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 12:58 AM Response to Reply #3 |
8. Love that one. Nobody "got" religion better than Carlin. |
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ellisonz (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 01:14 AM Response to Reply #8 |
17. Religion |
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Arugula Latte (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 01:17 AM Response to Reply #17 |
19. *snort* |
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pilar007 (71 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 12:56 AM Response to Original message |
4. pro-gress/con-gress n/t |
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lpbk2713 (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 12:56 AM Response to Original message |
5. We park on a driveway |
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Arugula Latte (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 12:56 AM Response to Original message |
6. "Have you ever noticed pro-lifers are people you wouldn't want to fuck anyway?" |
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Kolesar (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 08:56 AM Response to Reply #6 |
64. :yeah: |
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Initech (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 12:56 AM Response to Original message |
7. "You never see a Rolls Royce with a bumper sticker that says Shit Happens." |
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AlCzervik (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 12:58 AM Response to Original message |
9. The Beard Poem. |
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Kerrytravelers (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 12:58 AM Response to Original message |
10. Here is another favorite: |
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eowyn_of_rohan (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 06:11 AM Response to Reply #10 |
37. Classic! |
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AlCzervik (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 01:06 AM Response to Original message |
12. Shoot is just Shit with two o's. |
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Forkboy (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 01:07 AM Response to Original message |
13. Book title: How To Conquer Self Doubt....Or Should I? |
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Eric J in MN (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 01:09 AM Response to Original message |
14. "Religion is bullshit." |
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bridgit (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 01:09 AM Response to Original message |
15. And I paraphrase a master, "Why are people so surprised America is so war-like... |
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truebluecollar (93 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 01:10 AM Response to Original message |
16. 71... |
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Duer 157099 (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 01:14 AM Response to Original message |
18. "A Modern Man" from "Life is Worth Losing" |
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Richard Steele (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 01:21 AM Response to Original message |
21. "Tell the Captain: Air Marshal Carlin says GO FUCK YOURSELF!" |
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Arugula Latte (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 01:22 AM Response to Original message |
22. I saw Carlin live once where he observed that it was more than a coincidence that Bush I got a polyp |
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KT2000 (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 01:53 AM Response to Original message |
24. Stuff n/t |
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Faux pas (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 01:58 AM Response to Original message |
25. If God hadn't meant for us to |
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GreenEyedLefty (708 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 07:18 AM Response to Reply #25 |
50. Bwa ha ha... I posted that one down below |
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Faux pas (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Jun-24-08 02:21 AM Response to Reply #50 |
109. LOL he was a genius, no doubt! |
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Greyhound (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 02:02 AM Response to Original message |
26. Not a line, but the whole "wonderful WINO" bit. |
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Greyhound (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 02:05 AM Response to Original message |
27. "My name is Congolia Breckenridge..." |
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Lone Dem (1 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 02:44 AM Response to Original message |
28. Talking about telling someone that they have bad breath: |
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Sydnie (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 07:29 PM Response to Reply #28 |
106. Anyone can have bad breath Marge, but you could knock a buzzard |
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latebloomer (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 03:02 AM Response to Original message |
30. On saving the planet |
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BrklynLib at work (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 12:15 PM Response to Reply #30 |
88. I believe that Kurt Vonnegut Jr felt the same way. |
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TheWatcher (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 04:08 AM Response to Original message |
32. Probably his most relevant quote for the current times...... |
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OmmmSweetOmmm (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 05:41 AM Response to Original message |
33. Regarding, the late great Richard Pryor |
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ulysses (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 05:56 AM Response to Original message |
34. Snoopy-shaped vibrator. |
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RayOfHope (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 06:03 AM Response to Original message |
35. Paraphrasing here, stuff from a show in December: |
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Dark (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 06:08 AM Response to Original message |
36. "When you're born, you get a ticket to a freak show, |
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Sydnie (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 06:37 AM Response to Original message |
38. It's five minutes past the big hour of 5 o'clock. |
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rndmprsn (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 06:38 AM Response to Original message |
39. Chocolatey...you know what that means? No fucking Chocolate! |
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Cooley Hurd (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 06:47 AM Response to Original message |
40. "Make Fuck, not Kill..." |
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Sheets of Easter (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 06:54 AM Response to Reply #40 |
46. Okay sheriff, we're gonna fuck you now! |
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jmowreader (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 06:50 AM Response to Original message |
41. The "Interview with Jesus Christ" was classic |
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jmowreader (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 06:50 AM Response to Original message |
42. The "Interview with Jesus Christ" was classic |
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FlaGranny (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 06:50 AM Response to Original message |
43. Stuff. |
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shanti (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 10:09 AM Response to Reply #43 |
70. stuff - i loved that one too! |
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lpbk2713 (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 10:13 AM Response to Reply #43 |
71. That's a classic. Thanks for the link. |
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Sheets of Easter (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 06:53 AM Response to Original message |
44. "They tell me to put my seat back forward- well I don't bend that way!" |
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pdxmom (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 06:53 AM Response to Original message |
45. "Is it meat? Or is it cake?" N/T |
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DefenseLawyer (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 03:52 PM Response to Reply #45 |
101. It looks like... Meatcake! n/t |
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Sheets of Easter (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 07:01 AM Response to Original message |
47. Doesn't it strike you as mildly ironic that- |
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bunkerbuster1 (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 07:14 AM Response to Original message |
48. "If you want to know what a moronic word 'lifestyle' is |
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GreenEyedLefty (708 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 07:16 AM Response to Original message |
49. If God hadn't intended for people to masturbate... |
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Echo In Light (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 07:19 AM Response to Original message |
51. "Conservatives need live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers." |
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sendero (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 07:23 AM Response to Original message |
52. Needless to say... |
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rucky (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 07:25 AM Response to Original message |
53. Everybody that drives slower than you is an idiot. |
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moondust (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 07:38 AM Response to Original message |
54. In America anybody can be president. That's the problem. |
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KharmaTrain (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 07:47 AM Response to Original message |
55. The Great Ad Axiom...If You Nail To Things Together No One Has Nailed Before |
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eowyn_of_rohan (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 07:49 AM Response to Original message |
56. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. |
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lame54 (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 03:50 PM Response to Reply #56 |
100. that whole list could be a Steven Wright routine |
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eowyn_of_rohan (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 07:53 AM Response to Original message |
57. One more: "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist". |
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Blue_Tires (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 01:17 PM Response to Reply #57 |
96. WIN |
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CrispyQ (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 08:30 AM Response to Original message |
58. I learned from Carlin |
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Wizard777 (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 08:37 AM Response to Original message |
59. "Get on the plane." Fuck you! I'm getting IN the plane. |
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spanone (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 08:40 AM Response to Original message |
61. one day they will find that saliva causes cancer |
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Kolesar (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 08:53 AM Response to Original message |
62. These days, we only bomb brown people. |
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jazzjunkysue (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Jun-24-08 02:35 PM Response to Reply #62 |
115. Thanks! I saved that one. n/t. |
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MurrayDelph (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 08:55 AM Response to Original message |
63. Leftovers |
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okieinpain (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 09:10 AM Response to Original message |
65. no quotes here, just want to say that I've been laughing my ass off |
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FredScuttle (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 09:41 AM Response to Original message |
66. I loved his delivery in the "Baseball" routine |
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Lyric (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 10:24 AM Response to Reply #66 |
73. .... |
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gkhouston (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 12:19 PM Response to Reply #73 |
90. Nor have I, but I can easily imagine his delivery. |
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peekaloo (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 09:42 AM Response to Original message |
67. If you love someone, set them free. If they come back home, set them on fire. |
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deaniac21 (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 09:59 AM Response to Original message |
68. My chest hurts like hell! |
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me b zola (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 10:57 AM Response to Reply #68 |
80. You are an ass |
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deaniac21 (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Jun-24-08 12:13 PM Response to Reply #80 |
113. bows |
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FreepFryer (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 10:04 AM Response to Original message |
69. A man at a tool and die company died today when he was hit with a tool. (n/t) |
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FreepFryer (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 02:17 PM Response to Reply #69 |
97. "The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live." (n/t) |
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theboss (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 10:20 AM Response to Original message |
72. Baseball vs Football was his best bit ever, imo |
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theboss (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 10:32 AM Response to Reply #72 |
75. A place for my stuff |
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Arugula Latte (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 11:43 AM Response to Reply #72 |
82. One of the best things about that routine was the different voices he used for each sport. |
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kentuck (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 10:26 AM Response to Original message |
74. I'm bookmarking these ! |
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babydollhead (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 10:36 AM Response to Original message |
76. Help around the house? |
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Jack Rabbit (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 10:36 AM Response to Original message |
77. It's called the American dream (two beat pause) |
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SteppingRazor (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 10:36 AM Response to Original message |
78. "Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity" has to be my favorite. n/t |
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pipi_k (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 10:52 AM Response to Original message |
79. One of my all time favorites was a song... |
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eowyn_of_rohan (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 11:33 AM Response to Original message |
81. I think this is the greatest tribute we could give him today |
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GuvWurld (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 11:52 AM Response to Original message |
83. Advice for job interviews |
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Blue Diadem (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 11:55 AM Response to Original message |
84. This was written by his daughter about her Mom's death, something George did |
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BrklynLib at work (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 12:56 PM Response to Reply #84 |
94. I remember reading that his wife's death almost killed him. |
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SOS (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 12:05 PM Response to Original message |
85. Sometimes it's just the order of the words... |
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Scout (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 12:09 PM Response to Original message |
86. did you ever notice that most people who are against abortion... |
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Froward69 (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 12:12 PM Response to Original message |
87. on the plane rather |
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NightWatcher (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 12:21 PM Response to Original message |
91. on prostitution: fucking is legal and selling is legal, but selling fucking is illegal |
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rocktivity (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 12:27 PM Response to Original message |
92. "Tonight's forecast: Dark." |
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hellbound-liberal (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 12:47 PM Response to Original message |
93. “Thanks to our fear of death in this country, I won’t have to die. I’ll pass away!” |
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Bluerthanblue (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 01:12 PM Response to Original message |
95. "never ending battle for TRUTH, JUSTICE and The American Way- I always thought |
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KamaAina (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 02:24 PM Response to Original message |
98. It's 8:00 in Los Angeles! It's 9:00 in Denver! It's 10:00 in Chicago! |
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latebloomer (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 03:26 PM Response to Original message |
99. kick |
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hack89 (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 05:28 PM Response to Original message |
102. You can prick your finger but you can't finger your prick. nt |
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KamaAina (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 06:08 PM Response to Original message |
103. Doo doo, ca ca, poo poo, |
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XOKCowboy (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 06:14 PM Response to Original message |
104. The full "American Dream" video.. |
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dolo amber (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 07:12 PM Response to Original message |
105. One of my faves: |
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MzNov (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Jun-23-08 07:30 PM Response to Original message |
107. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. n/t |
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undergroundpanther (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Jun-24-08 01:41 AM Response to Original message |
108. About dogs |
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Earth Bound Misfit (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Jun-24-08 02:58 AM Response to Original message |
110. Class Clown was my favorite... |
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SeattleGirl (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Jun-24-08 03:00 AM Response to Original message |
111. Fucking meow. Fucking meow. |
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Initech (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Jun-24-08 11:40 AM Response to Original message |
112. "My motto is live and let live." |
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libodem (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Jun-24-08 12:46 PM Response to Original message |
114. I remember the days of the |
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