Silencing the MIHOP meme: Uwe Boll's POSTAL opens on 4 screens instead of 1,500

[MetaTrope]

Theatrical Release of Uwe Boll's 'Postal' Cancelled

Uwe Boll's latest "masterpiece" Postal was scheduled to open next weekend in 1500 theaters, deliberately going up against Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. But, according to a story at Cinema Blend, Boll's people issued a release this morning claiming that U.S. distributors have dropped the film and that it will only be released on four screens. An additional source says the film will open in five cities: New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Denver and Tucson. Boll claims that he has even tried to rent additional screens, but to no avail.

Boll has a nice rant on the POSTAL website:

you want only movies like JUMPER , SPEED RACER , WHAT HAPPENDS IN VEGAS ...? then keep going and your dreams will be fullfilled. POSTAL makes some very important points ..but you dont wanna see that .... : that Bush used the SEPTEMBER 11 to start a war against a country what had nothing to do with Bin Laden etc.... but this all doesnt matter because you are all busy to THINK that INDIANA JONES or NARNIA are important movies ... but in real they are empty shells of an industry what wants to make money and what wants to keep you looking "escape movies" with nothing in it. in between they are putting some CONTROVERSIAL movies to show that they can do also IMPORTANT movies ...but also this movies are not really critical....they only supporting the system and not showing the big picture. and POSTAL shows the BIG PICTURE ...it nails the absurd situation with all the stupid religions, races and nations we are living in. POSTAL is not accepting bullshit politics. POSTAL has not the opinion that Bush made mistakes - POSTAL has the opinion that it is a scandal that BUSH is not in jail. What happened in America in the last 7 years is the biggest joke since Columbus stepped on that land.

[Pab Sungenis]

1. Same thing happened with "Idiocracy."

It was released on one screen in New York, two in Texas and another I forget where just to fulfill the contractual obligation for a theatrical release. They wanted to bury that movie, and odds are they want to bury this one.

[digitalbuddha]

37. Why bury Idiocracy?

It wasn't a great film, but it was a lot of fun. Better than some of the crap that shows up in theatres.

[Frank Cannon]

38. Because of its merciless parodying of Fox News and its many sponsors

The movie was "distributed" by 20th-Century Fox.

[Snarkturian Clone]

40. Yeah, I heard something like that.

I heard that the sponsers signed up assuming they were getting regalur product placement... when it ended up they were being shit on, they complained and the studio did a limited release to satisfy contractual obligations.

[Atman]

41. It tested terribly in focus groups

That's a large part of the reason. No one knew whether to laugh or to cry. It confused the hell out of people...many feared that if they "got it," then it was about them, but it couldn't be about them because if it was they'd be too stupid to "get it." Likewise, the people it WAS about, which were actually more what you'd think this movie's target audience would be, were insulted. They didn't "get it."

If you haven't seen it, rent it, by all means. The opening "family tree" sequences alone are a real eye-opener, and not that far off according to a couple of recent demographics seminars I've attended. Scary shit.

.

[Snarkturian Clone]

43. Trust me, I saw it in that limited theater release.

I'm a teacher and it scared the bejesus out of me because the kids I have and their parents confirm that movies' future way too well.

[GreenEyedLefty]

47. Really??

I'm starting to feel guilty for laughing hysterically at Idiocracy. Should I have been scared?

[AngryAmish]

51. Only pro-eugenics movie of recent memory

At it's core, Idiocracy is a plea for stupid people to stop breeding. While it would warm Margaret Sanger's heart, these days it is not too PC.

[TheWatcher]

56. Idiocracy is the funniest movie you will never laugh at.

It's hysterical, it's clever, it's very well done.....

And it's frightening beyond belief.

Because it is much closer to the truth than any of us feel comfortable dealing with.

I highly recommend it.

But be prepared to be far more troubled than tickled by it.

[varkam]

2. Uwe Boll and MIHOP?

Two crappy tastes that taste crappy together!

:thumbsdown:

[pretzel4gore]

10. so you believe bush is a church going hard-choice-maker?

doing the unpopular such as destroy evil, hitler-like saddam hussein, the maniac with the world's 4th largest military!
I just hope Osama bin Laden doesn't read DU, he'll know he's caught like a shoe on a hook! if bush didn't MIHOP, the Osama MIHOP'ed!
:scared:

[realisticphish]

12. exactly right!

there are two answers! Yay for false dichotomies!

[varkam]

19. That's obviously what I believe.

I find it supremely ironic that certain members of the MIHOP crowd adopt the same strategy that Bush did when he said that you're either a patriotic American, or you're a terrorist.

:eyes:

[pretzel4gore]

42. MIHOP, but no 'Illuminatti'!

there's 2 branches of MIHOP...
a) bush is frontman for regan era political criminals, cheney and rumsmell and the Israeli 5th column etc - this includes the 'anglo' white supremists around the Royal Family, mainly Prince Pillip, but..nevermind this right now
b) the 'Illuminatti' branch of MIHOP says alex jones is an agent provacateur, pushing the absurd in order to hide the unlikely- namely that the 'elect' which partially formed around the Royal Family, mainly Prince Phillip, and this included the 'British Israelis' aka the lost, or 13th tribe, of Israel, which resurrected in Briton among the 'Blue' people, Beowolf, the Druidic...Freemasons...Skull and (cross)Bones, ROGER (houston)! the Ivy league university alumni e...tcetera. It take volumns to lay out the thinking; perhaps a university course should be set up(?)

[varkam]

49. What the hell are you talking about? eom

[Truth2Tell]

60. Beowolf

:rofl:

[Snarkturian Clone]

44. Rabid CTers are an embarassment to the party NT

[TheWatcher]

55. And people who believe the Official Story is the only possible Truth.....

Are living in a world of willful ignorance and denial on a scale rarely seen in human history.

[Snarkturian Clone]

59. See what I mean? It's only black or white to you, isn't it?

Either believe crazy crackpot theories or believe in the Official story... no in between.

[TheWatcher]

36. Yay! Three Cheers For The Official Story!

What a Good Little Citizen you are.

*Pats you on the head*

Extra Chocolate Rations for you young fella!

[varkam]

48. Yay! Three Cheers for False Dichotomies!

Because as we all know, you either believe the inane yarns of the MIHOP crowd, or you believe everything that the administration says.

[TheWatcher]

54. Hey if the shoe fits.

Wear it with pride.

Far too many in this country do.

If the Official Story is where your belief resides, I feel very, very sad for you.

Talk about living in a false reality.

[varkam]

57. I feel bad for you, too.

I mean, the burden of knowing the Truth(tm) must be pretty intense.

:rofl:

Okay, so I take it subtlety isn't your forte so I'll be a bit more explicit. There are not just two options in this debate, but rather there is a wide range of beliefs in between the insanity of the CTers and the "official story" which is why I said three cheers for false dichotomies. In other words, if one says that they don't believe the MIHOP view of what happened, then that does not automatically mean that they believe the official story. For instance, one could believe that 9/11 came about as a result of gross incompetence, not a mad scheme to take over the world (cue evil laughter).

[Dr. Strange]

58. No! There are only two choices!

You're either with US or agin' US. So wear Occam's shoe of dichotomy and rejoice in the Land of the Excluded Middle!

[Vincardog]

3. it is a scandal that BUSH is not in jail.

[ladjf]

20. The fact that Bush, Cheney,Rumsfield, Rice and Gonzalez

aren't in jail is conclusive proof that our Government is in the hands of crooks. We will not be able
to move forward in any significant way until justice has been served in regard to Bush and his crew.

[Vincardog]

25. WE need to appoint a special prosecutor now. Investigate and indite convict and imprison everyone

guilty of war crimes, crimes against humanity and crimes against nature.
Not to mention violating international and domestic law.

[ladjf]

45. That would be the greatest step we could take toward returning

democracy and prosperity to the U.S.

[Lennon]

4. Secret First Sequence of Postal

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vt_tv7t79WY

:)

[ladjf]

22. This piece was trivial, grotesque piece if bad humor. I can't see how the

full movie would serve any purpose toward presenting the truth about the 9-11 events.

Any serious person is going to be badly turned off by the martyr stooges routine. This is supposed to be about one of the gravest events in history and the two terrorist are arguing about the number of virgins they will receive.

[Blue_Tires]

52. Uwe Bialystock?

so bad, i strangely want more, even though i know it's pure poison...that opening was like crack fused with crystal meth coated in PCP...

[Systematic Chaos]

5. Jeez.... I really feel bad for Mr. Boll now.

:(

[Solon]

24. Naw, he isn't worth that feeling...

he's an ass, first off, actually hit a critic in the head once, you should look up his creds, they guy is a MAJOR ass, and his movies are shit. No, they are worse than shit, shit at least has a purpose as fertilizer, his movies only seem to suck the soul out of the audience. I swear, this guy is one of the signs of the Apocalypse.

[Pale Blue Dot]

6. Before we go championing Boll,

he's a TERRIBLE filmmaker (I should know; I've seen all of his films). ALL of his movies have been video game adaptations, and all have lost money. His last movie, released in January, was In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale which starred Burt Reynolds, Jason Stathem and Ray Liotta. It opened on about 1500 screens, got terrible reviews, and ended up making back about $4.5 million of its $60 million budget. In addition, Boll has a history of attacking his critics, including challenging any takers to a public boxing match.

Postal is also getting bad reviews (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/postal), has no major stars, and is being released on the same weekend as Indiana Jones. There is NO CONSPIRACY HERE. Boll is just a bad filmmaker. And he's nuts.


http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0093051/

[MetaTrope]

7. Hey, when a good movie shows up depicting Bush and Bin Laden skipping hand-in-hand

I'll champion that one too. But it's not like we're given many choices, is it?

[Zhade]

33. He makes, or made, such movies as a tax write-off for his German financiers.

When Germany closed the loophole, he decided not to make such terrible movies anymore.

[Tech 9]

34. In The Name Of The King was OK for what it was

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

8. No. It's because Boll's movies are total shit.

Total and pure shit.

[progdonkey]

9. oh, come on...

You make it sound like this is some great work of satire and the Powers That Be don't want the Truth to get out. Do you know who Uwe Boll is? Have you ever seen House of the Dead? or Alone in the Dark?

The reason this movie is being released on four screens instead of 1500 is because theaters know that no one will go see it, because it's a piece of shit. I haven't seen it and I know it's a piece of shit. Why? Because it was made by Uwe Boll. Ed Wood has nothing on Uwe Boll when it comes to bad movies; Wood's films at least have a "so bad it's good" quality to them. Boll's movies are just mind-numbing in their awfulness.

This isn't Fahrenheit 9/11--which, by the way, still managed to get shown a whole lot, because it was a good movie and people were willing to pay to sit in a theater and watch it. Postal is not.

[Systematic Chaos]

11. I haven't seen any of Boll's other films, but I just watched the youtube link above.

That intro was pretty damn good in a sick, twisted way. If the whole movie were on that level I'd say it would be worth it. But, that's just me.... :shrug:

[Pharaoh]

16. Yeah!! ...........Lol

pretty good opening clip................


in a sick twisted kind of way...

[Solon]

21. Of course, intros are almost always good, even for Boll's movies...

In fact they are the best part of of his movies(Except for Alone in the Dark), his films truly should only last 5 minutes, max, that's enough to figure out how bad they are.

[Norwood]

13. Its not getting a theatrical release because hes a shit director

Every movie that guy has made is just awful, no other way to describe it. Its gonna bomb so I dont blame theaters wanting to bail on it. The fact that his movies open in theaters at all is offensive, it should all be straight to video.

[raouldukelives]

14. House of the Dead!

Nuff said!

[dysfunctional press]

15. how does it open in 5 cities, but only 4 screens?

:shrug:

[Solon]

23. Its a Uwe Boll thing, you wouldn't understand...

In fact, I don't think ANYONE can understand how that man thinks. :D

[Bjorn Against]

17. I want to see this movie, but I know it is going to be awful...

Don't think a Uwe Boll movie based on one of the most violent and twisted video games in history is going to be a great piece of art, it is going to be a horrible movie but it looks like it could be so bad it is good.

Don't think this movie was going to have any impact on our politics, I would hope that most people would not get their political ideology from a Uwe Boll movie.

[MetaTrope]

18. Well, it's seen comparisons to Troma films and Miike

Neither of which are to my taste, but it does have


May not have an impact on politics, but it's sardonic comfort food for those of us who, unlike George W. Bush, never got a business bankrolled by Osama bin Laden's older brother.

[MetaTrope]

26. A few more clips from the movie

Bush chatting with bin Laden from the golf course...in German! It's almost poetic.

[Kazak]

27. This will probably be an internet hit then!!

People won't be prevented from seeing this at all. :)

[tom_paine]

28. Isn't Uwe Boll the guy who invited his critics to box him and beat the snot out of them?

http://kotaku.com/gaming/boxing/clips-uwe-boll-beats-up-critic-in-boxing-match-198932.php

I don't have an opinion, since I have never seen an Uwe Boll film. Certainly the concept is interesting and worth exploring.

Also, as I have looked into this a little, it does seem he has a penchant for making flops, so perhaps his "blackballing" is not as sinister as we might think.

It might also be as sinister as we think (though not helped by Uwe's apparently many awful movies).

I don't know. I just wanted to bring up the boxing match. :evilgrin:

[Evoman]

29. No, it's not showing because Boll movies don't deserve the space.

Five theatres for his brand of shit is five theatres more than he deserves.

[Jack_DeLeon]

30. Is this asshole still making movies?

he keeps buying up the rights to video games and turns them in crappy movies that sucks.

He needs to stop.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

31. Good way to ramp up some pub for what will probably be a shitty film....

...that makes no money.

[Zhade]

32. Boll, YOU'RE A SHITTY FUCKING DIRECTOR. That's why this happened.

Geez!

[Godhumor]

35. Oh please, do not give Uwe Boll any kind of support on this

I think Escape from Guantanamo showed that movies can make fun of Bush in a pretty insulting way and not face "reprecussions".

Uwe Boll is the very definition of a hack and this movie is not getting screens because it is not in the interest of the movie theaters to show it. His movies make no money, period. A theater deciding to give screen space to "Postal" on Indy's opening weekend is simply asking to lose money hand over fist.

There is no conspiracy here just pure Bollshit.

[MetaTrope]

39. Looking past the noise of a thousand Internet monkeys climbing over each other

merely to type "Uwe Boll movies are shit", the first murmurs about the film from the metropolitan press are certainly focused on trashing the movie for its subject matter rather than its directorial qualities. From the Los Angeles Times: "You should not be talking about: 'Postal.' The latest film from German director Uwe Boll is a terrorism satire that, we kid you not, features actors playing Osama bin Laden and George W. Bush."

On the other hand, the New York Times lets some audience reaction slip through:

Considering the gross-out and sexual-humor quotient of many recent films, “Postal” could well find an audience. The raucous crowd at a screening presented by the New York City Horror Film Festival last month erupted in laughter for every startlingly transgressive joke. As a couple left the theater, a woman told her date, “It made no sense, but it was hysterical.”

[onager]

46. Sorry, I'm busy investigating the hidden messages in "Zombie Strippers"

n/t

[Elidor]

50. This thread is as unintentionally hilarious as Boll's movies

The stupid...it BURNS!!!

[MetaTrope]

53. Update from MTV website: POSTAL now spreads to 12 screens

http://multiplayerblog.mtv.com/2008/05/19/uwe-bolls-postal-theater-count-day-one/

As of this writing, we’re up to 12 signed theaters.

“We were prepared to open on 1500 screens all across America on May 23,” said Boll in a press release last week. “Any multiplex in the U.S. should have space for us, but they’re afraid. We have even tried to buy a few screens in New York and Los Angeles, and they won’t let us even rent the theaters!”

I’ve already seen “Postal.” Boll and actor Zack Ward came to San Francisco last fall and showed an early cut from the controversial game adaptation. It actually made me legitimately laugh at least once. Boll is currently in negotiations with a local Bay Area theater — fingers crossed — but the deal’s not locked up yet.

[rinsd]

61. What better way to sell tinfoil crap than claim its being censored.

1500 screens to open?

F 9/11 PEAKED at a little over 2000 screens and that was the greatest box office success of any documentary.

[MetaTrope]

62. And the pot continues to simmer

The Critics Speak: 'Postal' May Actually Be Better than 'Sex and the City'

An eagle-eyed tipster points out one of the more fascinating signs yet of the loathed filmmaker's resurgence: On a week when his new film Postal has reportedly been banned from multiplexes, it's also pulling a better Rotten Tomatoes score (33%) than "mainstream" offerings Made of Honor (12%), What Happens in Vegas (28%) and John Cusack's bomb-to-be War, Inc. (23%). It's also neck-and-neck with Sex and the City and a mere percentage point behind the tentpole Speed Racer, which is still stalled at the gate with 34% positive reviews.