Yes, this is definitely DU's "worst fund drive ever". I can't BELIEVE you guys think we'd want to

[scarletwoman]

punch you at all, much less get charged for it!

You know what your coolest fund drive ever was? It was this past February when we got to give valentine hearts to each other when we donated. Now THAT was inspiring! I spent more than I could realistically afford that week, just because it was so much fun to spread love around, instead of aggression and anger.

After all the years I've spent here, I have nothing but love and gratitude for you guys; for all that you've done to make DU the most amazing forum I've ever seen. DU is part of my daily life, I've met so many amazing people here, and made many friends. Not to mention all the essential information and ideas that get exchanged here.

So, I'm terribly sorry, aiding and abetting symbolic violence toward you guys is so far out of where my head and heart are at, I don't find it the least bit inspiring. It's just not going to motivate me.

But, I'm not going to just complain without offering an alternative.

Here it is: KITTENS

Let us give a kitten to each other for every $5.00 donated.

Think about it -- the sudden bursts of good will and giggling that might break out all over DU. Possibly even in grim-faced, deadly serious GD-P.

Picture a furrow-browed, purse-lipped, seething-with-righteous-wrath GD-P poster suddenly faced with a darling vulnerable big-eyed kitten staring up at her from the bottom of her post. Are you still going to lash out blindly at everyone you think might be your enemy when you don't know who gave you that beautiful precious kitten?

Who doesn't love kittens? Even that crazy guy Renfield loved kittens!

Anyway, I want a kitten-giving fund drive. If you want my money, give me a kitten.

sw

[seemslikeadream]

1. Here's my kitten

[Triana]

4. ROFL! Nice kitteh! n/t

[scarletwoman]

5. Oh WOW! I LOVE that kitten! THAT'S what I'm talkin' about! That's what's cool, man!

:D :smoke: :hippie: :loveya:

sw

[seemslikeadream]

9. Here's one you might want to engage sometime

[G_j]

51. a kool kitty

doesn't bogart either!

[scarletwoman]

56. "doesn't bogart either!" True, but whose stash did that kitten roll that doobie out of?

Sneaky little bugger... :P

sw

[PassingFair]

91. Don't be fooled....its

...CatNip

[scarletwoman]

94. NOOOOoooooooooo.....

[Libby2]

92. Here, kitty, kitty,

[w13rd0]

2. Punch kittens?

YOU MONSTER!!!

[scarletwoman]

12. !

:rofl:

[drmeow]

3. boxing gloves

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=3271935&mesg_id=3272017

[scarletwoman]

13. Oh dear, I was really trying to stay on the side of Light, but I gotta admit, your idea is pure

evil genius. It is impossible for me not to love it. :evilgrin:

I surrender the field to the master.

And thank you for making sure I got to see that thread! (if I had a kitten handy, I've give one to you)

sw

[drmeow]

17. Thanks

I just couldn't resist - glad to know someone else appreciates my humor :)

As for kittens, that's OK, I've got these two - I'll share 'em with you:




(actually, they are much older now but I can still share their baby pictures).

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

6. Here's another kitten.

Maybe for every $5 donation you get another kitten avatar, like the valentine hearts, only each one is different.

[Triana]

7. 'swot I said! Bad idea for a fund drive...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=3271881&mesg_id=3271881

[scarletwoman]

11. Yes, I was very happy to see that someone else felt as I did.

And I suppose I ought to apologize -- I thought about posting in your thread, but then I got this vision of kittens and just egoistically went ahead and started my own thread.

I've rec'd your thread, and I'm very glad you spoke up!

sw

[FloridaJudy]

8. Ponies! Ponies for everyone!

[TechBear_Seattle]

15. That would be perfect for GD-P

Think of the joke where the punchline is, "There's just gotta be a pony in here somewhere!"

[stevedeshazer]

16. Adoreable.

I love ponies, too.

[blondeatlast]

10. Can't we just punch W a couple more times? It's the one chance we got to BEAT him

and now that victory, too, has been stolen. There is (thankfully) not much time left for that pleasure!

Lace up my Everlasts and let me back in that ring now, dammit!

Grovelbot, are you with me?

[EFerrari]

23. To be honest, I like not having to look at Junior for four or five days.

But watching the admins wait for punches makes me anxious. :scared:

[scarletwoman]

24. I wish it were Henry Kissinger. I think we need to pass more history down to the younger folks.

They're going to be left to battle this shit after we wear out. We really ought to be making sure that everyone knows how far back the roots of what's happening now extend.

sw

[blondeatlast]

45. That'd be a good one! Maybe a continuously changing series of loathesome

Republicans--those that don't recognize them could get a mini-history lesson from the rest of us!

[scarletwoman]

47. There are enough villians to provide punching targets for years and years of fundraisers!

We could start with Prescott Bush and work our way up through the history of all the evil and corrupt characters that have caused so much bloodshed and misery in the world, and eaten away at the rule of law here at home.

sw

[stevedeshazer]

14. Okay, I'll play!

Here ya go!

[SpiralHawk]

26. You look like a Mittens.

Are you sure you're a kittens?

[Elspeth]

18. So do we get little punching gloves if we donate?

And can we give them and get them?

:)

[scarletwoman]

20. What about kittens wearing punching gloves? If you gave someone a kitten wearing punching gloves,

they'd never know for sure whether it was from a friend or a foe!

:D

[Elspeth]

46. Nooo. Real punching gloves.

Kittens are too damned cute. :)

[scarletwoman]

60. But you see, "too damned cute" is the whole idea!

I'm thinking of it as a sort of "shock therapy".

:)
sw

[Kittycat]

19. We DEMAND Kittens!!!

[hisownpetard]

21. Scarlet Woman - You have a helluva nerve. Kittens? What about us puppy people??!

What are we, second-class citizens? Personally, I'm allergic to cats.
I vote for canines over kitties.
Jeeeeeez, some people!!!!!! :nuke:

[scarletwoman]

22. What if they were kittens in biohazard suits? Would that work?

I've got it! Once you've been given a beautiful precious kitten by a kind and thoughtful anonymous DU friend, you can trade it in on a puppy.

Or, it could be much more diabolical. Once you get a kitten you'll have to PAY to get rid of it! BWAAAHAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAA!!!!!

That'll show you kitten haters!

:evilgrin:
sw

[hisownpetard]

27. I hate to be so brutal, but I think the trade in should obviously be two kittens for one puppy.

(Have I gone beyond the pale with this one?)

[scarletwoman]

29. You'll have to be more specific. Is that kittens in biohazards suits, and/or boxing gloves?

Sorry, I wouldn't let armed kittens go cheap.

[galledgoblin]

28. I think a kittens v. puppies war would be a great DU fundraiser (n/t)

[scarletwoman]

30. It would a cuter, more adorable GD-P! Brilliant!

:D

[Laurab]

73. Puppies OR Kittens - I love them both!

But I love puppies just a little bit more. I vote for both - I can think of lots of people who might soften up a bit if given a puppy (ok, or a kitten)!

[scarletwoman]

95. I can dig it -- it would be like a Unity Ticket.

:D

[Oldtimeralso]

25. Down with Kittens Up With Dogs

I would rather be DOGmatic than CATatonic!

[scarletwoman]

31. No, no, no! This ain't about dualism! Why can't it be kittens AND puppies? (nt)

[Arugula Latte]

87. Naaaaah....Dogs Drool; Cats Rule.

Cats are obviously far superior to those greasy, barking beasts. Sheesh.

[krispos42]

32. A pit bull,

a circumcised penis, an Olive Garden sign, a breast-feeding baby, a Best Buy receipt, and a cornflake-encrusted chicken drumstick should all be things you can donate to be punched. Like a race.

Kind of like when the fundraiser was between all the various Dem candidates, yanno?

:evilgrin:

[scarletwoman]

33. I'm sorry, but as a mother, I absolutely cannot condone punching breast-feeding babies,

circumcised or not. Especially right after Mother's Day. Couldn't we substitute a cigarette smoker?

sw

On edit: Or a gun owner? :D

[krispos42]

35. What if...

...we replace the breastfeeding kid with a lactating breast in mid-punch?

And we can give the pit bull a pipe and a Beretta, no problem!

:-)

[scarletwoman]

38. No deal,

no breast punching or punching breasts (unless inadvertent).

No Beretta for the dog, beret okay. The beret would look snazzy with the pipe.

sw

[leftofthedial]

34. BS!!

WHACK 'EM!

WHACK 'EM HARD!

[scarletwoman]

36. Okay, so that's like some kind of guy thing, right?

The image of Bam-Bam from the Flintstones springs to mind...

:)
sw

[EFerrari]

37. They get drunk, punch each other on the shoulder and say

"I LOVE you, man. I f#ckin' love you."

lol

[scarletwoman]

39. Yeah, then they stumble home to you and throw up on the floor.

:rofl:

sw

[leftofthedial]

41. I usually hit the wall

or maybe the couch.

not the floor.

:puke:

[leftofthedial]

42. that's called being a "beer queer"

The whole "I love ya man" thing.

[Mojambo]

40. I'm allergic to cats. Am I allowed to punch a kitten instead? n/t

[scarletwoman]

44. *sigh*

[SoCalDem]

43. STICKIES... WERE THE BEST

even though my favorite was DQ-ed :evilgrin:

[maddezmom]

48. I agree

but what's DQ'd :D

[scarletwoman]

49. Yeah, I'd like to know what "DQ'd" is, too! (nt)

[maddezmom]

50. I must have food on the mind....all I can think of is Dairy Queen

:D

[SoCalDem]

72. Disqualified... even though it was hysterical..here it is

[rpannier]

52. It's actually a good suggestion

There are a lot of angry people here and maybe something a little more friendly would be appropriate.

I don't think anyone here blame Skinner and Co (at least not the sane ones)

Maybe spreading a little joy and kittens would help.

[scarletwoman]

53. Thanks! That's exactly where I'm coming from.

I just want to spread a little joy and kittens to counteract all the negativity! :D

sw

[johnfunk]

54. WAR KITTENS???

[scarletwoman]

57. Oh fine, if that's what you want.

Here's Sniper Kitten:

[rasputin1952]

79. I was going to post that w/"Be careful what you wish for"...

:D

Great thread! And as an aside...our cat had 5 kittens, they are just now eating solid food, are exploring the place, and have found their voices...at 3 AM...:hi:

[scarletwoman]

80. Thank you for liking my thread, and congrats on your kittens.

:D
sw

[SalmonChantedEvening]

55. wants dis kitteh! an dis puppy! kthnx

hai nice lady with the thing and the hoil and the Oh Dean flaven!!

:hi: :hug: :loveya: :pals:

[scarletwoman]

58. LOL! hai nice man!

?v=0

On edit: Oh, well. I couldn't post the image without stealing it from someone else's bandwidth.

:hi: :hug: :D :loveya:
sw

[SalmonChantedEvening]

59. EEp.

Website won't lemme see. Hafta be logged in or sumfin. Rassa fracka.

How's you?

[scarletwoman]

61. How's me? In better shape than that poor cat. Sorry about the bad link.

Try this one:

http://lolcatz.net/110/thanku-fo-be-my-frind/

:pals:
sw

[SalmonChantedEvening]

63. Awwsums!! :)

The cuteness! It burns!! :rofl:

:hug:

[scarletwoman]

64. Wow, you just made me realize something, like, totally profound.

The cuteness used to burn me, too -- but I've just spent 16 days in GD-P for the first time since it was cordoned off. It has obviously rendered me burn-proof! :evilgrin:

:rofl:
sw

[SalmonChantedEvening]

75. 16 Days!!

I'm amazed it didn't take the skin off ye. :scared:

Then again I spent 2 years on the Coulter yahoo message boards and it only rendered me unable to be civil with the eternally syewpid. :D

[scarletwoman]

76. It helps to be funky.

As I know you know.

:D
sw

[SalmonChantedEvening]

77. Ayep

Aja, when all my dying dancing is through
I run to you

Ah kin do the end :D:D:D

[scarletwoman]

62. See this? This is exactly why we need some kittens around here:

I'm just fucking sick of it all and tired of everything. n/t

sw

[mike_c]

65. recommended, big time-- my wallet comes out for kittens....

Won't you please donate to DU, kind hooman?

[scarletwoman]

66. Why, THANK you! Lovely to see you, mike_c!

And your kitten? Now, that's what I'm talkin' about!

:loveya:
sw

[Kixel]

67. My mind works the wrong way...

I was thinking you wanted to punch kittens. I was worried about you!

[scarletwoman]

69. Oh well, you're not the only one. And some people just really DO want to punch kittens.

:*

sw

[Left coast liberal]

68. Put me down for 2 kittens; and I just sent $50 to my wonderful DU

[scarletwoman]

70. Hey, $50 is worth 10 kittens!

You have many kittens with which to spread joy and happiness!

:D
sw

[progressoid]

71. Here mine...

As a kitten:


________________________________________________


And all grown up, yearning to be a DU moderator:

[scarletwoman]

74. Yes! Your kitty should definitely be a DU moderator!

Wonderful pics! Thank you!

:D
sw

[scarletwoman]

78. Okay all you angry DUers. No kittens for you! (nt)

[Exultant Democracy]

81. Kittens puppies, baby monkeys. Bring em on!

[scarletwoman]

83. That's the spirit!

:D

sw

[Canuckistanian]

82. Iguanas! Cute, cuddly Iguanas!

I think that... what was that? Those nice young men in their clean white coats are here already?

Gotta go.....

[scarletwoman]

84. You're talking to a woman who used to dance with a 5 foot long boa constrictor.

I have no fear of nor animosity toward cold-blooded critters.

Reptiles are just a different sort of kitten.

:D
sw

[Canuckistanian]

85. Hmmmmm....

Doing anything Friday night?

[scarletwoman]

86. Why do you ask?

Do you have a big snake?

[Exultant Democracy]

89. oh you are fresh

[scarletwoman]

88. Delete -- duplicate post...

[JeffR]

90. I think the ASPCA will have concerns about kittens being

exposed to GDP posters. Maybe they should be bobcat kittens or panther kittens, at least 8 months old. That way, if the typical GDP aggression comes into play, at least the kittens will have a fighting chance. Other than that, great idea!:thumbsup:

[scarletwoman]

93. Er... That picture is

very disturbing.

Anyway, point taken. Lion and tiger kittens would work, too.

:P
sw

[JeffR]

96. I 'shopped this after getting a DUzy threat

An adorable kitten with the cap: "Give me a DUzy or this kitten dies."

Even the DUzy Awards have become a realpolitik nightmare. That's why Predator-Kitty here comes in handy.

[scarletwoman]

97. Well, I gotta tell ya -- I've just come from reading a few threads in GD-P, and

I think Predator-Kitty needs to get over there right away!

I don't envy you at ALL, trying to carefully pick your way amongst the utterly freaked out partisans whose flecks of spittle adorn so many DU posts.

You ought to be awarded a medal. Absent that -- at the very least! -- you deserve to be treated with kindness and gratitude by your fellow DUers.

My heartfelt Kitten Luv to you, and to ALL DUers -- this place needs some joy, BADLY! As Emma Goldman said, "If I can't dance, I don't want to be in your revolution."

We are getting swept up by tide after tide of bullshit and simulcra. We've gotta take a good look at ourselves, and then take a deeper look at our world. If people don't start sorting out reality from illusion, we really ARE fucked.

One of our most powerful defenses against illusion is humor -- and the best humor is generally transgressive. Transgression breaks through the mental traps, breaks through the unconscious deference to authority. If there's one biggest, hugest thing that our society needs, it's more transgressiveness!

If you aren't willing to transgress, you are not helping the evolution of our collective consciousness.

Therefore, I submit that kittens are our only real hope.

sw

[JeffR]

102. And that kitten will drag us over that bridge to the 21st Century.

It was good of the Big Dawg to build it, but it's a shame that 8 years later, so few still want to cross it. Ironically, that includes the Big Dawg...

[scarletwoman]

104. Well, you know, I could get all deeply philosophical and stuff...

And bring up metaphysics, and the thing about time really just being the one more dimension and all. And that, therefore, what we really need to do is to get multi-dimensional, which includes time, which means that we simultaneously gather knowledge and experience out of all times at once and recognize that the 21st century is just a mental construct and what we really need to do is get down to the fundamentals of human social interaction...

Uh, where was I?

sw

[enlightenment]

98. Here's my kitten.

Then he was exposed to GD: P(u).

Poor thing.



Lovely idea, SW - much better than punching the admins!

[JeffR]

106. Poor little guy never had a chance.

:cry:

[TZ]

99. We could always save the kittehs for non-GDP posters

and give the GDP people something they would be used to...SKUNKS!:D

[JeffR]

100. Wolverines.

Camels. Any critter with a bad attitude will do.

[scarletwoman]

103. I hear that lamas are generally pretty grumpy.

Badgers -- that's it! (ever see Thunderheart?)

Badgers. From a way cooler movie than Red Dawn.

:D
sw

[scarletwoman]

101. But the GD-P people need the kittens MOST OF ALL!

I'm convinced of it!

On the other hand, you do have a point. They may no longer be capable of discerning the difference between kittens and skunks. :(

sw

[scarletwoman]

105. A kick for the kittens! (nt)