BREAKING: Bush announces Iraq exit strategy!

[NewJeffCT]

Through Iran!

Bush Announces Iraq Exit Strategy: 'We'll Go Through Iran'

WASHINGTON, DC—Almost a year after the cessation of major combat and a month after the nation's first free democratic elections, President Bush unveiled the coalition forces' strategy for exiting Iraq.

"I'm pleased to announce that the Department of Defense and I have formulated a plan for a speedy withdrawal of U.S. troops from Iraq," Bush announced Monday morning.

"We'll just go through Iran."
Bush said the U.S. Army, which deposed Iran's longtime enemy Saddam Hussein, should be welcomed with open arms by the Islamic-fundamentalist state.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30931

Amazing that it was written almost exactly 2 years ago...

[redwitch]

1. The man is brilliant! (slaps forehead) Why didn't we think of this sooner?

I loves the onion writers. :loveya:

[The Magistrate]

2. They Do Damned Fine Journalism At 'The Onion', Sir

[Parche]

3. Fine Journalism

How do you come up with that statement?
Anything to back it up with? :rofl:

[NewJeffCT]

4. How about this other prescient article of theirs?

From January 17, 2001:

Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'

WASHINGTON, DC–Mere days from assuming the presidency and closing the door on eight years of Bill Clinton, president-elect George W. Bush assured the nation in a televised address Tuesday that "our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over."

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28784

[XOKCowboy]

11. Also "Voice of God" turns out to be Cheney on the speakerphone!

:rofl:

[The Magistrate]

5. It Is My View, Sir

That if all that survived as record of the late twentieth century a couple of thousand years hence was a few dozen copies of 'The Onion', scholars would be able to put together a better picture of the time than they would if all that survived was, say, a similar number of copies of the Indianapolis Star or the Chicago Tribune....

[Richard Steele]

7. I believe that view is entirely correct. nm

[Parche]

8. VIEW

Ok Professor can you say that in english!!!!! :shrug:

[Joe Chi Minh]

10. That's for sure.

[Joe Chi Minh]

9. It would be a few levels above your comprehension. Now, back to

"My Pet Goat" with you.

[pat_k]

6. Bush is so predictable the Onion got it years ago.

How do our so-called "leaders" manage to stay trapped in denial? For years reality has been smacking them in the face like a fish in Monty Pythons' "Fish Slapping Dance."

The Constitution, U.S. Code, International Law, overwhelming will of the American people, being caught red-handed terrorizing the nation into war with the most monumental bomb threat of all time ("mushroom clouds over our cities in 45 minutes") -- none of it is even a bump in the road to the bushcheney steamroller.

Nothing short of impeachment can stop their lawless recklessness. Biden's threat to impeach after Bush attacks Iran is tantamount to permission. It's a declaration that Congress won't pull out the only "lethal" weapon their arsenal until the deed is done.

If our so-called leaders don't forget about Iraq, remember their oath, and impeach, they'll be watching the bombs drop on Iran, stunned that their impotent gestures didn't "get through." Perhaps they'll take comfort that the troops are finally leaving Iraq. Of course, after the bombs drop on Iran, the hasty retreat from Iraq won't be a retreat at all. The troops will just be heading to Iran -- naturally. Never mind Iraq. They've had their shot. Have to fight until we "win" in Iran, else things will be even more horrible than the unimaginable horror already sweeping the Middle East. (And look. The Dems are still whining. They want us to lose.)

The leadership's notion that "staying the course" of impotent action will somehow pave the way to the White House in '08 is mind-boggling.

[NewJeffCT]

12. Kind of sad

that the Onion is years ahead of the "mainstream" media.