What is a hero?
The characteristics of the modern day hero have deteriorated greatly. Until recently, our heroes were individuals who braved unknown frontiers at the risk of death or public humiliation, regardless of the sacrifices. Much of what they accomplished was for the good of humanity rather than their own self-centered needs.
In the past fifty years, attitudes, values, and priorities have been increasingly shaped by a mass-media culture. Quiet heroism plays less well on TV than does splashy excess. Because of this, our heroes have changed drastically. Today, our children worship wealthy performers who change spouses as often as they change underwear. They look up to rappers with long rap sheets, sordid drug habits, and more Mercedes Benzes than a LA carpool line. They idolize movie characters whose talents involve killing by day and gratuitous sex by night. They revere those with the most cynical attitudes, the most obscene incomes, the foulest mouth, and the lowest regard for human life. To many contemporary heroes, agricultural advancement means sowing bushels of their wild oats everywhere they can. They seem to live by the motto: “Snort, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow…well, tomorrow we’ll meet at my place and do it all over again.”
Heroism, in other words, is often defined today in terms of what a person has rather than who he or she is and what he or she can do to make the world a better place. What these heroes have, of course, is money, fame, athletic talent, or physical beauty. And because of this, they are often given tacit permission to break the rules and sidestep the moral code.
But talent doesn’t make a hero, and beauty should not equate to virtue. So, before we can raise our children to become heroes, we need to redefine heroism in healthier, less materialistic terms.
Heroes should be people who are willing to sacrifice their own interests for the greater good. Heroes should be those who, day after day, do what they believe is right, regardless of their audience, their temptations, their excuses, the unpopularity of their choice, or the outside reaction it may trigger. And they do what is right for rightness’ sake, not to earn brownie points or special favors.
Real heroes are not only those who risk life and limb to save another, but anyone ready to risk personal loss–of reputation, pride, friendship, confidence, money, pleasure, and opportunity–for the sake of what is right. In short, heroes are led by their sense of honor rather than by the path of least resistance and highest immediate rewards.
I stumble on these ordinary heroes from time to time. The other day, while waiting in the carpool line to pick up my 13-year-old son, I saw a seventh grader, Daniel, breaking essentially every middle school fashion code. First, he was lugging around his band instrument. That alone constitutes pariah status. Didn’t he know he was supposed to smuggle the case home with all the secrecy of a CIA operative? As for his clothes: he wore a plaid, short sleeved shirt buttoned all the way up, tucked into Sans-a-Belt pants with hems just north of the ankle. Those very same ankles were clad in white Fruit of the Loom crew socks with little blue and red stripes along the top. To top it all off, he was wearing shiny new penny loafers. Nevertheless, Daniel wore a broad grin and walked with a confident step, boldly greeting everyone he passed. Middle school being what it is, he was met with name-calling, smirks, and jeers.
I wanted so badly to rush to his rescue and scoop him up in a big maternal embrace, but I quickly saw how unnecessary that was. He seemed to shrug the abuse off as inconsequential and continued to carry himself with pride. And in between being poked, shoved, and taunted, my new hero stopped to help a sixth grader who had spilled the contents of his backpack after stumbling on the steps. Afterwards, I overheard him ask the younger boy if he was okay.
Does this mean heroism requires being a saxophone-carrying, fashion-challenged nerd? Of course not.
True heroism simply means facing every day with courage, no matter how mundane or unrecognized the task. It means doing the best you can with what you’ve got, to make moral and responsible choices day after tedious day. Daniel demonstrated that type of heroism to me through qualities I hope to inspire in my own children—the qualities of the everyday hero.
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