And Now He's Dead: Semicolon; Punctuation Mark

[CatWoman]

The Semicolon died this week at the age of 417 from complications of irrelevancy and misuse. Semicolon was born in England in 1591 to Ben Jonson, the first notable writer from to use them "systematically." The mark of punctuation dedicated its career to connecting independent clauses and indicating a closer relationship between the clauses than a period does. But mostly it just confused the shit out of English students everywhere.

Well, the semi isn't technically dead yet but there's a healthy debate going on speculating that its days are numbered. And as any B-list celebrity can attest, when people start asking whether your career is dead, it already is. So that's the angle we're going with.

The Guardian offers a rather startlingly in-depth analysis of the viability of the semicolon, including "for" and "against" arguments from notable writers. It should come as no surprise that Jonathan Franzen takes an unabashedly pro-semicolon stance.

"I love a good semicolon, but this sounds like one of those Literature is Dead! Stories that The New York Times likes to run," he says. "I've never heard from a reader confused by one of my semicolons, and I don't remember ever throwing a book aside for being semicolon-free."

Kurt Vonnegut, meanwhile, takes the subtle approach and compares semicolons to cross-dressing she-males: "Do not use semicolons," he has cautioned. "They are transvestite hermaphrodites, standing for absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college."

Semicolon is survived by colon, parenthesis and em dash. In lieu of flowers, please send anecdotes of times you have been confused by a semicolon to Farrar, Straus and Giroux, care of Jonathan Franzen.

http://gawker.com/377007/and-now-hes-dead-semicolon-punctuation-mark

[Warpy]

1. I still use the semicolon;

it keeps me from writing short, choppy sentences.

[CatWoman]

3. as do I

rip Semi :cry:

[Sequoia]

33. Me too. In fact I design my sentenances in a way so I can use them.

[ZombieHorde]

2. Awesome. nt

[napoleon_in_rags]

4. The semi-colon found a new job a long time ago.

It marks line ends in computer code. I see it as more of a nerd than a tranny... ;)

[MonkeyFunk]

5. If only

he'd gotten a semicolonoscopy :cry:

[CatWoman]

12. *groan*

:)

[babylonsister]

6. La la la la; I can't hear you!

This is horrid! :cry:

[jody]

7. I use the semicolon daily, any intelligent writer would!

:hi: CatWoman, hope all is well with you and yours.

jody

[CatWoman]

13. Hi Jody

:hi:

[TheCowsCameHome]

8. On 01-20-09 we get rid of a REAL colon

Nothing semi about the asshole in the White House.............

[Bozita]

16. Are we there yet?

How about now?

(thirty seconds pass)

Are we there yet?

[TheCowsCameHome]

18. ...any second now.

No, not just yet.

Nope, not here yet either.

Wait, it's coming...................

[Warpy]

22. We will manage to get rid of what occupies the country's colon

if the Democratic Party doesn't fuck it up again by saddling the nominee with another damned DLC election team.

[Noirceuil]

9. I still use it...

There is no other way to join two closely related independent clauses.

True Example: Obama is not qualified to be President; I will not vote for him.

[Bozita]

10. When you grow old, you become accustomed to losing some friends.

[BOSSHOG]

11. They'll get my semicolon when they pry it from my cold, dead hands

[CatWoman]

15. good grief

LOL!!

Not ANOTHER CH joke!!! :hi:

[BOSSHOG]

19. I'm far from an English Scholar

but the semi-colon will remain a part of my writing toolbox.

I have mixed feelings on CH since he was somewhat involved in the civil rights movement but his NRA nonsense was too far over the top for me.

[CatWoman]

20. he'll always be Moses to me

which is why I refused to participate in the anti Heston threads yesterday...........

[niyad]

14. k & r

[Stardust]

17. It's kinda cute when used thusly: ;-)

[NashVegas]

21. Mais Non! Did You Miss the NYT Article? It's Been Rescued

It was nearly hidden on a New York City Transit public service placard exhorting subway riders not to leave their newspaper behind when they get off the train.

“Please put it in a trash can,” riders are reminded. After which Neil Neches, an erudite writer in the transit agency’s marketing and service information department, inserted a semicolon. The rest of the sentence reads, “that’s good news for everyone.”

Semicolon sightings in the city are unusual, period, much less in exhortations drafted by committees of civil servants. In literature and journalism, not to mention in advertising, the semicolon has been largely jettisoned as a pretentious anachronism.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/18/nyregion/18semicolon.html


Geez, I use them at least once a day or so, CatWoman.

[Bucky]

23. Ha-ha! Hey, Semicolon, guess what--you're dead! So fuck you, asshole! Ha-ha!"

Next time I see I see a semicolon, I'm gonna kick it in the ribs while it's down; that should be a lot of fun!

[CatWoman]

27. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

:hi:

[notadmblnd]

24. I use them; just to break up the monotony

of all the commas in my sentences.

Do not be afraid of the semicolon, embrace it!

[El Supremo]

25. I thoght you said he was dead because he had part of his colon removed; thus a semi-colon.

[The Straight Story]

26. It's been replaced by a migrant one called the quasi-colon

mainly because the semi-colon just didn't want to do it's job anymore.

The full colon however, is still at work - and mine will soon be in the bathroom becoming the empty colon :rofl:

[Uncle Joe]

28. Just as Billy Crystal's character in The Princess Bride said, it's only semi-dead.

Sometimes I use it when I should, sometimes I forget to use it and sometimes I use it when I shouldn't.

[Stinky The Clown]

29. eats shoots and leaves

embodies the world without punctuation

you cannot have my semicolon

be gone

[Bozita]

30. best;book;title;ever!

[acmavm]

31. First some wiseguys demoted PLUTO no less. Now they've deep-sixed

the semicolon.

What's next?

[CatWoman]

34. pudding?

:)

[Bozita]

32. Next thing you know, they'll tell you your tildes are no good.

[Skittles]

35. I'm a huge fan of the semi-colon; I shall keep using it!!!

so often I read stuff at work I consider VERY WELL-WRITTEN except for one thing: the absence of any semi-colons :)

[pansypoo53219]

36. i am a fan of runon sentances.

so, how do i get it off my keyboard?

actually, i use it when i am blogging old orations.