This Is Really Weird... Man With Suicide Victim's Heart Takes Own Life - MSNBC

[WillyT]

Man with suicide victim's heart takes own life
He even married the donor's widow after the transplant 12 years ago

<snip>

HILTON HEAD ISLAND, S.C. - A man who received a heart transplant 12 years ago and later married the donor's widow died the same way the donor did, authorities said: of a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

No foul play was suspected in 69-year-old Sonny Graham's death at his Vidalia, Ga., home, investigators said. He was found Tuesday in a utility building in his backyard with a single shotgun wound to the throat, said Greg Harvey, a special agent with the Georgia Bureau of Investigation.

Graham, who was director of the Heritage golf tournament at Sea Pines from 1979 to 1983, was on the verge of congestive heart failure in 1995 when he got a call that a heart was available in Charleston.

That heart was from Terry Cottle, 33, who had shot himself, Berkeley County Coroner Glenn Rhoad said.

Grateful for his new heart, Graham began writing letters to the donor's family to thank them. In January 1997, Graham met his donor's widow, Cheryl Cottle, then 28, in Charleston.

"I felt like I had known her for years," Graham told The (Hilton Head) Island Packet for a story in 2006. "I couldn't keep my eyes off her. I just stared."

In 2001, Graham bought a home for Cottle and her four children in Vidalia. Three years later, they were married after Graham retired from his job as a plant manager for Hargray Communications in Hilton Head.

From their previous marriages, the couple had six children and six grandchildren scattered across South Carolina and Georgia.

Cheryl Graham, now 39, has worked at several hospices in Vidalia. A telephone message left Sunday at a listing for Cheryl and Sonny Graham in Vidalia was not immediately returned.

Sonny Graham's friends said he would be remembered for his willingness to help people.

"Any time someone had a problem, the first reaction was, 'Call Sonny Graham,' " said Bill Carson, Graham's friend for more than 40 years. "It didn't matter whether you had a flat tire on the side of the road or your washing machine didn't work. He didn't even have to know you to help you."

<snip>

Link: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23984857/

:wow:

:cry:

:banghead:

[blonndee]

1. How sad for his widow. Losing two husbands in such a tragic way. nt

[Mojorabbit]

2. I read a weird article

a few weeks ago about some studies re genetic memory in tissues. I wish I could recall it now. It would be interesting to see in the future if something comes of it.

[babydollhead]

11. maybe your tissues remember where you read it

[Mojorabbit]

15. Good one!

I wish. Maybe if I had someone else's tissues that had a good memory. Ha! Really, I did read it and scientists were looking into it.

[FreepFryer]

3. Jesus, what a weird story. I feel badly for the (now two-time) widow. (n/t)

[smalll]

4. I feel bad for the original suicider.

Pretty tough. One wouldn't need to be a suicide to come back from the dead to terrorize some 69 year old man who 1) takes my heart because I'm dead 2)and the thanks I get for my organ donation is that he THEN goes ahead to take my widowed wife who's far less than half as old as the ungrateful viagra-scarfing geezer.

[FreepFryer]

7. Yeah, I also had that feeling too. If that was my heart and he took my spouse too, I might revenge.

[Berry Cool]

9. Oh man, that's like something out of a bad fifties/sixties drive-in horror movie.

You know, the kind where a guy gets a hand transplant from a convicted murderer, and then he can't resist killing because his hand makes him do it...

What strikes me as strange is that the wife of both these men works in a hospice. Of course that's probably entirely coincidental, and I'd be a lot more suspicious about both these guys committing suicide if I found out they'd both overdosed on a painkiller, for example...then I'd start thinking "this can't be one of those 'black widow' things?"

As it is, it just seems to be a sad story.

Edit: I was thinking, something like this:

[hedgehog]

5. There are receptors for what we think of as brain chemicals all over the body.

It turns out that "gut feeling" isn't entirely a metaphor! The heart has been seen as a seat of the emotions. Wouldn't it be strange if it turned out that feedback from the heart could lead to or aggravate depression?

[Horse with no Name]

6. I've read some stuff about transplant patients

who take on the traits of the deceased...ie...start liking foods they never liked, start new hobbies, etc.
It is one of those things that has always given me pause.

[gateley]

8. I think there are

"cellular memories" at play. I've heard a lot of those stories, too.

[JohnyCanuck]

12. I remember reading similar stuff

about how some heart recipients found that after getting a donor heart they experienced changes in their likes and dislikes to conform to the likes/dislikes that were those of the heart donor, e.g. changing from liking rock music before the transplant to preferring classical music after getting the heart of a deceased orchestra violinist etc.

[DeeDeeNY]

10. There was a plot on the TV show Monk that dealt with a similar issue

Nothing near as chilling as this real-life story, but still it brought up some interesting concepts.
Monk is walking down the street and for some unknown reason strongly feels he needs to meet a woman he passes and it turns out she was the person who received the transplant of his wife's eyes when his wife died.

[qanda]

13. My condolences to that wife and his family

I cannot imagine what they're facing right now.

[Jackpine Radical]

14. See the book, "A Change of Heart."

Hear's one reader's review from Amazon:

By SandyWells "sandywells" (Galveston, TX United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: A Change of Heart: A Memoir (Mass Market Paperback)
After reading "The Heart's Code" by Paul Pearsall and now this book I am convinced we are just beginning to scratch the surface of the science of transplant information and details about the heart and how it controls personality.

It is a proven fact that heart patients who are ill have a sudden change in temperment and also proven that transplant patients take on some characteristics of the donor.

There was a case of a nun who received the heart of a prostitute (absolutely true story) and many more in Paul's book and this book seems to focus on one true story of one woman.

You have to be careful though, if you've had open heart surgery or are waiting on a transplant it can get a bit emotionally heavy as you related to her having to face death. Watch the dark tones and you'll be fine as you read the info. The object is to come away having learned some secrets of what to expect and those are very very interesting.

There was also a case of a transplant recipient who began using vocabulary words from the donor and then later when the patient met the donor's family and used those rare words randomly they were floored. Good read.

[calico1]

17. I have that book: "A Change of Heart"

It is quite fascinating. They did a TV movie based on the book but the movie focused more on the relationship between mother and daughter then on the experince the woman had with getting a heart/lung transplant.

It is very strange. I don't remember all the details because it was a few years ago but she was a classical dancer. When she was released from the hosptital after the surgery she said she had the irresistible urge to stop at McDonald's and get some Chicken McNuggets. She had never gotten them before nor was a fast food eater. They also interviewed her and asked her how she felt she stated that before she knew the words came out of her mouth she said she couldn't wait to have a nice, cold beer. She had never been a beer drinker. Her daughter also noticed that the way she walked had changed. Instead of walking gracefully like she always had, her walk was more of a strut. Her daughter told her she looked like a truck driver walking. After she found out who the donor was it turned out that he was a truck driver who liked beer and Chicken McNuggets. If this type of subject interests you I recommend you read the book. It is quite fascinating this whole subject of cellular memory.

[shadowknows69]

16. Poe couldn't have written that one any better.