A uniquely gay moment

[dsc]

Recently a homophobic state rep got caught on tape giving an anti gay rant that was pretty far off the deep end. Now it turns out a son of that rep is gay. Unique amoung minorities gays are dependent upon luck of the draw as to who raises them. Blacks don't get raised by racists, Jews don't get raised by anti Semites, etc. I hope this young man, whose name I won't link or mention, makes it through OK. As to the state rep, well, I don't particularly care.

[knitter4democracy]

1. I had to turn that screed off. I wanted to puke.

What a horrible thing for her son to hear. It's not like he doesn't know how his mom feels, but to hear just how low she goes and how bad her imagery and rhetoric get in such a public way must be horribly painful. :(

[dsc]

5. It was pretty bad

I feel terrible for that young man. I just hope he has found a great substitute family.

[knitter4democracy]

8. Family should be those whom we love and who love us.

Some of us have to create our own new family, and I'd bet that he has had to do the same. That's just hard, hard, hard.

[terrya]

2. Exactly right.

"Unique amoung minorities gays are dependent upon luck of the draw as to who raises them"

You are so right. Thank you for making that point.

[bliss_eternal]

23. It doesn't help that society at large

pepetuates stereotypes and hatred of glbt people. :(

It seems a simultaneous challenge (and gift), to be given the responsibility to love a glbt child.

To love such a child, while teaching them to love themselves...telling them (and SHOWING them) that they are perfect exactly as they are, despite the messages to the contrary from society's ignorant. That's the challenging part, teaching them to ignore the crap from the outside--the media, religion, entertainment, politicins, etc. Loving them and showing them love is the easy part. :D

[maddiejoan]

3. "Blacks don't get raised by racists, Jews don't get raised by anti Semites"

well --it does happen actually.

[Lex]

7. well it may happen, but it's the exception

I'm sure

[slampoet]

17. It's sad when it does happen.

I have a distant relative by marriage who is a bigot and the mother of his bi-racial love child died.

Now this bigot asshole (who is part Creole but claims to be pure white,) it raising this young woman.

[bliss_eternal]

21. I agree, it is sad.

but not as rare as many think.

In the case of this guy, he probably grew up in the era where favor was shown toward those w/"lighter skin." Pre-civil rights, it was all about "white" vs. "black." So much fuss was kicked around about "dark skin." Unfortunately, a lot of people around during those times internalized a lot of negativity and learned to see people and situations superficially. If it's light or white--he thinks "good." If it's dark or black--he thinks "bad." :(

Sadly, he'll pass that ignorance down to the young woman he's raising. Hopefully, she'll have other influences that will teach her the truth.

[slampoet]

40. Yeah, she has good grades and we are trying to be the good aunt and uncle near her college.

[gollygee]

4. I've read about it and it's horriying

as a parent, I have a very strong opinion about this. A parent's first job is to unconditionally love her/his children. The fact that she couldn't even set her hatred aside for her own child sickens me. It's bad enough to be a bigot to the world as a whole, but what must it feel like to have the person who should love you the most have beliefs about you like that. :(

[DesertFlower]

10. question. this has nothing to do with being gay.

do you think a parent should unconditionally love their child if that child is a criminal? for example, going into a business and robbing the owner at gun point? not just 1 time, but numerous times. and not for drug money -- just because this young man didn't want to work.

[Hekate]

11. Totally off topic, muddies the waters, bad example. Back off. nt

[DesertFlower]

15. sorry. nt

[gollygee]

12. I would still love him

but I'd recognize that he needed serious help, and that society needed to be protected from him.

Though that is so different from the above example, where the mother isn't withholding unconditional love because her son committed serious crimes, as in your example, but simply because of who he is, I have a hard time wrapping my head around how you came up with that example in this thread.

[DesertFlower]

14. sorry to get off the subject.

it just came to mind when you spoke of the unconditional love. i asked, because i know someone who disowned her son because of his crimes.

[gollygee]

16. Well, in my opinion,

if he'd been truly unconditionally loved in the first place, and I don't just mean lip service using the words "unconditional love", he'd be less likely to be in a situation like that.

[DesertFlower]

18. absolutely wrong.

his parents adored him. they were shocked when this happened.

[gollygee]

20. I said "less likely"

Other things happen too.

I see I worded it very poorly - I didn't mean he personally wasn't unconditonally loved, just that allowing kids to grow up with that makes it less likely they'll have those kinds of problems. But there are also outside influences, so it isn't a guarantee by any shot.

[mondo joe]

26. Of course. If there are conditions, it's not unconditional. NT

[bliss_eternal]

22. I agree.

It's possible to seperate the actions from the person--and love the person, but dislike what they do, how they hurt others, etc.

But back to the topic at hand...a parent's job is to love a child, and teach that child self-acceptance and how to love and respect self. From that place, they learn to love and respect others.

[Lex]

13. I think you can love you child but not stand behind or condone them robbing a bank

or murdering someone or whatever.

To me that's 2 separate issues.

(I know your question wasn't directed at me, but I answered. :hi: )

[JuniperLea]

19. Yes. Love is unconditional...

You can love someone dearly and not like how they behave or the things they do.

[NMMNG]

28. WTF?

Don't even tell me you're trying to equate being gay with being a criminal. :grr:

[DesertFlower]

37. of course, i'm not equating

being gay with being a criminal. the parents i referenced would gladly accept and love a gay child.

again i apologize for changing the content of the thread.

[NMMNG]

38. OK

It's just that there are plenty of people who do equate the two--being gay is equated with pedophilia, alcoholism, murder, thievery etc. It's all part of that "hate the sin, love the sinner" stuff that the RW (and even some left-wing) evangelicals preach. :puke:

[DesertFlower]

39. you are absolutely right.

Peace?:hide:

[NMMNG]

41. Absolutely

:hi:

[Lex]

6. Food for thought for sure.

Thanks for writing that. I hope her son can rise above the hatefulness and self-righteousness that I'm sure he's had be around all his life.

That freak homophobe Representative Alan Keyes has a gay daughter and I think he damn near killed her spirit with his hateful rhetoric. Hope she survives too.

[bliss_eternal]

24. Alan Keyes is a piece of work.

If his daughter survived him with any sanity and self-love in tact, she's a miracle.

On edit- though I haven't decided who gets the "GLBT" worst parenting award between he and The Cheneys. :eyes:
Dick supporting "w" during his open proclamation of war on glbt's is nothing short of evil, as far as I'm concerned.

[bliss_eternal]

9. I wish there was a way to charge her for abuse....

:puke: ...just horrible that she wouldn't have more concern for the way her child would be affected by her words.

[mondo joe]

25. Well sone, DSC. This is the sort of thing many non GLBT people never think of. NT

[peacetheonlyway]

27. I make that point and it seems to fall on deaf ears

how many times does a black person get kicked out of their family for being black?

or a jewish person get kicked out of their jewish family for being jewish?

the racism suffered by gays is not only WORSE than any other form of racism because it divides family against a gay person who by their birth is gay.

My mom disowned me when I was 24..for being gay.

I had to suffer a year of not coming home before mom one day said 'it's ok' and that is the kind of family based racism I would not wish on my worst enemy.

the 20-30% of the gay voting bloc need to force our candidates and our legislators to pick up the game and start to seriously carry the CIVIL RIGHTS FOR ALL which includes gay people...

[insleeforprez]

29. Wait wait wait...

this rep has a gay son, and her gay son is out to her? That's reprehensible beyond words.

However, I could also see the possibility that her son got outed through the youtube-ization of this event...

Can I get a fact-check?

[dsc]

31. Apparently he was out before this to her

but not publicly. You can find the thread in the LGBT forum. I am uncomfortable directly linking as it isn't exactly the nicest source I have ever seen.

[catnhatnh]

30. K&R.....

...you are right, and it never occurred to me....My thoughts go out to the young man.Thanks for the eye-opener.

[NMMNG]

32. Yes

Word has it that the extremity of her homophobia was fueled at least in part by the fact that her son is gay. She probably got bent out of shape because she couldn't terrorize the gay out of him with her religion and whatnot.

I'm glad that video made it to YouTube and now television. Millions of people have heard her words and realize just how hateful she and others like her are. They understand just what we're up against, and maybe we have a bit more leverage on our side when we plead for assistance.

[PA Democrat]

33. I just can't imagine a parent that could be so hateful.

I hope that kid finds people to love and nurture him. He deserves better than his biological father. As to his father, old age can be lonely. He may live to regret his hateful behavior toward his son.

[sarcasmo]

34. Kick and Nom.

[Withywindle]

35. That's precisely why the GLBT youth suicide rate is so high.

Our legal system assumes that parents are the rightful guides and protectors of their children, etcetera. In lots of cases, that's true. But not in all of them.

For gay kids, their parents are sometimes their cruelest persecutors. The LAST people they should be trusting, not the first. And the psychological torment starts early and never lets up, and they have no recourse.

But it's "faith", not abuse. :sarcasm:

[asdjrocky]

36. You know, I never thought of it that way.

That's a very good point, and I plan to use it if I ever get into an argument.

[kdpeters]

42. Not uniquely gay

Deaf children are usually raised by hearing parents who likewise have no clue how to tend to their needs.