British mother may lose custody of obese boy.

[Bunny]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070226/ap_on_he_me/britain_child_obesity


Connor McCreaddie right aged 8 who weighs 218 pounds (99 kilograms) and his mother Nicola McKeown, left, outside their home in Wallsend, 300 miles (480 kilometers) north of London, England, Monday Feb. 26, 2007. Connor who weighs more than three times the average for his age, could be taken into protective custody away from his mother for his own benefit. An unnamed health official was quoted as telling a newspaper that the family had repeatedly failed to attend appointments with nurses, nutritionists and social workers.


<snip>
LONDON - Authorities are considering taking an 8-year-old boy who weighs 218 pounds into protective custody unless his mother improves his diet, officials said Monday.

Social service officials will meet with family members Tuesday to discuss the health of Connor McCreaddie, who weighs more than three times the average for his age.

"The worst case would be Connor getting taken into care. He is well cared for," the boy's mother, Nicola McKeown, told ITV television.

A spokeswoman for health officials in Wallsend, North Tyneside, 300 miles north of London, said the hearing was part of a process that could eventually lead to Connor being taken into protective care. She declined to comment further.
<snip>

[msongs]

1. she keeps his obese to meet her own pyschological needs - that is NOT well cared for nt

[zalinda]

3. Be careful, your prejudice is showing.

There could be many reasons why this youngster is obese, and some may have nothing to do with the mother. I'd rather know the whole story before I pass judgment.

zalinda

edited to run spell checker

[Connie_Corleone]

8. She feeds him the most unhealthy food. I heard what he feeds him on the news.

He eats a whole pizza for lunch. In between meals, he eats junk food. His mother feeds him fast food for dinner.

I think it's pretty clear why he's obese. His mother doesn't feed him healthy food and she stuffs his face whenever he wants something in his mouth, even when not hungry. He's missed school a lot due to his poor health and kids ridiculing him.

She needs an ultimatum. Either start feeding him healthier food and develop an exercise program for him with a doctor's approval or lose your son. (She'll end up losing her son one way or the other if she doesn't stop his bad eating habits. He'll end up dead.)

[zalinda]

13. And if that was the way she was brought up?

My whole point is that she probably hasn't made him fat on purpose, which is what the MSONGS seemed to suggest. There are parents who were brought up never eating a fresh vegetable, my father was one of those. And then there are children who are always hungry and a mother, being a mother can not sit by and see her child cry for food.

If what you heard about the amount and type of food that he eats is true, (and sometimes it is exaggerated for the wow factor) she is not guilty of anything except poor knowledge of food. And by their appearance, it doesn't look like they are rolling in money, so she may need to be taught how to buy and cook healthy food.

To think that obesity is a clear cut, only one cause type of condition, is prejudicial. Obesity is not that simple, if it was, then diets would work, and there would not be as many obese people around. But look around, there are more obese people now than there ever was, which tells you that the condition is complex, and what is good for one, is not good for another.

zalinda

[karlrschneider]

18. His "mum" is killing him. She might just as well give him arsenic for lunch.

Yeah, there are a LOT of grossly fat people around. They can't get that way without eating too much.
:eyes:

[Atman]

15. She feeds him MASSIVE amounts of food. And says he "finds it and hides it."

He won't "find it" if it isn't in the house, lady! Check your shopping list...see those chips and pizzas? Replace them with low fat yogurt and celery sticks, for chrissake! And shut down his television and kick his butt out to the playground.

.

[tenshi816]

34. This has been all over the news here in the UK,

for a week or more and the mother has said that her son "refuses" to eat fruits and vegetables. I have great sympathy for people who become obese due to medical conditions, but that doesn't appear to be the case in this instance, not according to what I've seen on the news and heard from the mother's own mouth.

Edited to add that I heard yesterday the lad has recently lost 21 pounds, so he is able to lose weight. I just hope he gets specialist medical care. I don't know why his GP hasn't referred him to a specialist for that matter - it's not like his parents would have to pay for it under the NHS. You'd think his doctor would have made an issue of the boy's obesity before it got so out of hand.

[Bunny]

35. Thanks for that on-the-spot information. What seems to be the

puiblic opinion over there, with regard to taking the boy into care due to this?

[wicket]

45. Thanks for the info

n/t

[JackRiddler]

5. People have children to meet their own psychological needs -

All children should be taken from their parents. The child welfare can do a better job.

[Greeby]

2. Sorry, no

Bit of a gut, fine. But there's no excuse for allowing your kid to get that big

[JackRiddler]

6. No. There is no particular excuse

(other than a physical basis). And does this feeding the child into the maw of the bureaucracy?

[alcibiades_mystery]

22. if bureaucracy saves his fucking life, then so be it

This woman IS KILLING HER FUCKING CHILD.

[soothsayer]

4. awwww, but he's cute and pudgy!

[BlooInBloo]

7. More important than the kid's well-being is that fat folks reading the story not be made to feel bad

... hence the kid should obviously remain with the person who bears a substantial part of the responsibility (!) in his being 300% of average weight.

It's all about 3rd-party fat folks not being made to feel bad - all else can go by the wayside - never forget that.

[noonwitch]

9. I don't know if placing him in care will do much good

The foster parents would have to be veterens, and be people who can deal with the mother, because the kid is old enough to run away back to his mom. Also, sometimes kids get insecure when placed and start eating more.

The mom and he need to go to fat camp together. She needs to learn how to make healthier food for her kid and he needs to have some fun and get some exercise. Mom needs a makeover, too, it would be good for her self-confidence.

Or, they need the supernanny.

[Bunny]

10. kick

[Beausoir]

11. That poor kid. That hatred he must be enduring at the hands of "adults".

How scary for a little boy. And to be facing the loss of his home and family? He must be terrified. To be made an international laughingstock will devastate him forever.

He's just a little child.

[Bridget Burke]

12. He's not such a "little" child.

Let's hope that the possibility of losing custody will convince his mother to do the right thing.

[Beausoir]

14. Cheap joke.

[wicket]

24. And an unfunny one at that

n/t

[Bridget Burke]

31. Boo fucking hoo.

My first thought on seeing him was sympathy. He's got a severe health problem & the taunts of his classmates are keeping him out of school.

So--do either of you hope that the mother will TRY to help him, rather than let him be taken away?

Adults can choose to be obese. (I don't laugh at them, either.) He is a kid, no matter what his size, & depends on adults. It would be dreadful if his mother were so stupid that other adults must step in.

[wicket]

32. I really don't care - boo fucking hoo yourself

Just agreeing with another poster about your lame attempt at humor :shrug:

[Marie26]

41. Did the article say

if the mother was required to undergo counseling? Sometimes people pass down the bad habits they learned from their own parents - and it seems like she could learn proper nutrition, exercise, etc. habits to raise her child in a healthier way.

[MamaBear]

17. Thank you.

A little kid with a metabolic disorder that might be too subtle to pick up in the standard testing protocol.

This kid needs a doctor that understands obesity and doesn't have a financial stake in either a fat camp or some other weight loss program. Most doctors who style themselves as obesity docs are just MDs with kick-back schemes from surgeons who perform weight loss surgery.

Nobody is asking the right question. Most people have a shut-off mechanism that sends you very strong signals to stop eating. That mechanism clearly isn't working very well for this young man.

He's a human being, dammit, and so is his mom.

[Beausoir]

19. I've learned to hide threads like these. All the usual suspects are already here.

There is an astonishing lack of compassion and understanding regarding fat children.

He's fat...so let's make sick, childish jokes, hold him up for public ridicule, rip him away from his mother...all in his "best interest". Because we "care" so much about his well being. :eyes:

And with that....hiding thread.

[wicket]

33. Yup

:eyes:

[alcibiades_mystery]

23. Right...nobody ever gets fat behind correctable behavioral patterns

It's always some "metabolic" disorder, even when no sound science can establish that. God forbid people have to take responsibility for their own unhealthy habits, like poisoning one's children with McDonald's and an ENTIRE FUCKING PIZZA for lunch! No. Must have been metabolism...

[BlooInBloo]

38. That's what I've learned from DU.

[mondo joe]

27. Even medical conditions can be mismanaged.

If the child were diabetic and his parents mismanaged that, it woukld be a cause for concern.

[Marie26]

42. He needs a good doctor

Whether it's metabolism *cough* or bad choices by his mother, he needs a doctor to evaluate him & create a plan to help him lose the weight.

[Bunny]

16. I'm not sure what to think of this. The medical professionals refuse

to say if he has a medical condition that is behind this. If he has something like Prader-Willi syndrome (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prader-Willi_syndrome) then I feel very sorry for the mother. This disease is enormously hard to treat in a normal household setting, and probably does require a residential program facility to help him control food intake.

We don't know if the mother suffers from a mental illness, or a lower intelligence level, which might make it difficult for her to understand the problem and the need to deal with it. There's no mention of the boy's father, so I don't know what sort of support system she has.

If there is no underlying medical condition, but rather the mother is unable or unwilling to follow a plan, he may have to be taken into care to get him back on track. I do think it's abusive to purposely let a child get that heavy. (I'm heavy myself, so I'm not anti-fat). It's a shame if the boy has to be taken from his family, but maybe that's the wake-up call his mother needs. :shrug:

Oh, and can we all work with our kids to try to keep them from teasing those who look different?

[Midlodemocrat]

20. I'm not sure how I feel about this.

Did the child have a full endocrine workup? If he is medically sound, then mom IS really to blame here.

Not sure if the right thing is to take him away, though. Maybe force the mom to be more attentive, get her some help to deal with his weight.

[alcibiades_mystery]

21. If I was poisoning my kid, they'd take her away too

This woman is poisoning her child.

[Marie26]

37. What about a mother who smokes

around her child? Or a mother who lets her kids watch 5+ hours of TV? Or lets her kids skip school? There are lots of things that parents do that could have a detrimental effect on kids, but the state doesn't have the right to put a child in foster care simply because a parent isn't perfect. And these older children would go to foster care, ripped away from the only family they've ever known, and placed into a bureaucracy w/a foster family of strangers who often only care about the support check. And that's going to improve the kid's well-being?

[alcibiades_mystery]

43. Your examples are weak, and really demonstrate that you don't get it

Five hours of TV? Skipping school? You compare these to a kid having Type 2 Diabetes from completely controllable environmental factors at age 13? That's just dumb.

Smoking is the only one that even comes close. If the smoking constitutes a repeated and present health risk to the child, then perhaps we should consider removing that child from the environment. People who smokes such that their children are breathing in smoke are assholes, and I fucking smoke.

But this case is clear. One need not conjecture. One need not generalize. One need not dream up scenarios, absurd or realistic. This woman is directly, repeatedly, and flagrantly POISONING her son. Do you get that? She is providing him with toxic substances for ingestion. That's pretty well established. So, what do we do with children who are clearly being poisoned? We remove them from the environment IN ORDER TO SAVE THEIR FUCKING LIVES. Put down the fat activism for a second and consider that. She's POISONING her son.

[Marie26]

46. OK

I see you're making some generalized & weak assumptions as well. I'm hardly a "fat activist", so please discard the stereotype, OK? These threads are a pain because anyone who expresses an opinion is attacked as a "fat bully" or "fat supporter" by the regular posters on the subject.

In this case, this parent might be neglectful or even abusive, but I'm troubled by the implications of the policy being advocated here. Basically, I just don't like the position that a parent w/an obese child should have that child taken away. Have you seen an American middle school lately? The majority of kids are now overweight, even obese. The epidemic of childhood obesity is partially the fault of parents, and partly just a reflection of our society - in which kids are inundated w/junk food & candy commercials, and video games have taken the place of outside play. Kids can't be totally controlled by their parents' influences, but have the ability to get bad food at school & on their own. Obesity also tends to be more prevalent in lower-income homes, where kids have less access to healthy food or outside play. Are all these obese kids being poisoned by their parents? Should they all be forced into foster homes?

My main point is to dispute this notion that if a child is put in protective custody, it solves the problem. There is no guarantee that foster care will improve things for this child. Foster care can have a drastic negative effect, especially in an younger child. Kids who have spent a year or more in foster care have much higher levels of mental illnesses like panic disorder, PTSD & attachment disorder. There is also a significant risk of abuse by unscrupulous caretakers - almost 30% of foster children are abused while in the system. There are dedicated foster families, but IMO this case would take dedicated parents who are both nutritionists & drill sergeants. How is this hypothetical placement going to make the kid eat food he refuses to eat? How can they undo his 8 years of learned bad habits? How is a foster caretaker going to force a hostile, unhappy child to be healthy? It's possible that it could be beneficial, but it's also possible that the trauma of being removed from his home could make him even more stressed, intransigent & resistant to changing his eating habits. And it's almost certain that separating him from his family at this point would be a stressful, traumatic event.

I feel like foster care should be an absolute last resort, and only used in cases where there is a clear immediate danger & no other viable options. Not just because a parent feeds them too much, or smokes too much, or as a bandaid for deeper problems. In this case, this child needs immediate medical attention - evaluation by a doctor to see if there is a medical disorder or if he already has severe health problems, and a prescribed treatment for both the child and the parents. Maybe he should even have an in-patient stay at the hospital where he can be monitored until his weight falls to a less dangerous level. And the family needs to have counseling to learn better health habits. But ultimately, I feel like this is a medical problem, that needs a medical solution, not a legal one.

[alcibiades_mystery]

47. There are no guarantees, period

That's hardly a reason against taking an action when the situation warrants. You act as if we should do NOTHING if success is not guaranteed. That's an absurd position, idealist in its absurdity.

The point is not to wait for guarantees. The point is to weigh the current danger to the child against the possible success of removing the child. Of course there are no guarantees that foster care will change the situation. When we are ADULTS, we don't assume that there will be any guarantees. We make hard decisions based on weighing the different factors. The overriding factor, now, at this point, immediately, and close to a crisis, is the POISONING of this child by his mother, and the utter disregard for that poisoning BY the mother, and by anyone in the family. Removing the child is certainly ONE desirable course of action if such disregard continues.

That foster are "may not work" is irrelevant. The current state of affairs clearly DOES NOT WORK. The state (which is to say, us, or, in this case, the people of the UK), if it cares about the welfare of this child, should take its chances with the "bureaucracy" if this mother continues on the dangerous and reckless course of killing her own child.

And, by the way, you don't need to "educate" me about the foster care system. I spent years doing pro bono work for an organization that worked with incarcerated women to get their children back with family members and out of the system. I know all about it. I've been on the ground floor, hands dirty, dealing with the family courts and the alphabet soup of agencies. I've sat in the jails with women and told them that their kids are gone in the system because they didn't file in a timely manner. Not a fun conversation, I assure you. You don't need to educate me. I worked my ass off to get kids out of the system. But I would work just as hard top save a child from reckless parents, or to have those same children removed from the care of their parents if they were in danger, as this boy is. Don't preach to me. I've seen it.

[Marie26]

50. And I've seen it too

So you know that foster care isn't a cure-all. This situation definitely needs action, I just disagree about the action that should be taken. If the child needs medical care, he should be put in a hospital, ASAP. Especially if a doctor finds that he has severe or life-threatening health conditions as a result of the obesity. IMO that's the most direct & certain way for him to receive proper treatment & a resolution of the immediate health dangers. Doctors can monitor him in a way that even a dedicated foster family cannot. And that directly addresses the dangers, instead of the indirect, uncertain solution of just putting him in an new family. But I guess we'll just agree to disagree. It looks like the social workers in this case have already decided not to put the child in foster care, anyway.

[bicentennial_baby]

25. This woman'a a pretty poor mother...

We have only just got Connor off processed foods such as sausages and burgers and to start eating meat and poultry, but it is very difficult because we are limited to what he likes.

“He likes chips and mashed potatoes and all the wrong foods. I am trying to introduce healthier foods to his diet but he refuses to eat 90% of them.”

....

Connor’s diet, by his mother’s admission, is appalling. Although he is cutting back on junk food, until recently he was eating four packets of crisps a day, and it was typical for him to consume four Yorkshire puddings with his evening meal and demand snacks every 20 minutes.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/health/article1434671.ece

Jeebus lady, learn to say No. And don't bring that crap into your house, for starters. If he doesn't want to eat real food, then let him whine until he's hungry enough to deal with it... :eyes:

[gollygee]

28. I think you're right on target

If I have doughnuts in the house, my daughter will not eat anything but doughnuts. But guess what? If there isn't anything in the house but healthy food, she'll eat healthy food. She is currently eating lunch: a peanutbutter sandwich, some carrot sticks, and an apple. But I've had this fight with her before. If we have potato chips in the house, she will go nuts and not eat anything but the potato chips. Kids don't have the impulse control adults have.

[JitterbugPerfume]

26. that childs life is in danger

I personly know of a morbidly obese child found dead of a heart attack . A child that obese can not even lie down to sleep , because of fat against his lungs.

I knew that child, and his clueless mom

[alcibiades_mystery]

44. No, "fat activism" is more important than that kid's life

Welcome to the party...

:sarcasm:

[Beaverhausen]

29. The article says they aren't going to the doctor and nutritionist appts

If mom was really serious about helping her son she needs to get him to these appointments. She could learn a lot about nutrition and make better choices for her son and for her whole family.

This is a sad story all the way around.

[cgrindley]

30. Good thing

He should be taken into care as his weight itself is a priori evidence of significant and ongoing child abuse. Being a parent is not about being a pal, it's about being a caregiver and about looking out for those who are not competent (legally or emotionally) to make their own informed decisions about life.

[LeftishBrit]

36. The latest news is that they've decided NOT to take him into care

I hope that now he will get the help and treatment that he needs.

[Marie26]

39. Consider the alternative

It does seem like this woman isn't the best mother. Lots of people aren't the best parents. But if this child is placed w/protective services at this point, he is not going to be adopted. Instead, he'll end up bouncing through foster families until 18. And he'll still have the same appetite & tastes that he's grown up with, and potentially even less supervision. Foster care is no guarantee that he will be healthier, instead, he could actually become more unhealthy. The mother is flawed, but she does love him. And in general, I think it's better for a child to be raised w/parents that care for them rather than a bureaucracy, however well intentioned.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

40. If the boy was incredibly skinny...

and the mother was refusing to feed him properly, would this be an issue?

[Hippo_Tron]

49. If the mother was starving him, that would certainly be neglect

And there have definitely been cases of that before.

[Hippo_Tron]

48. They said that they would take him away if she doesn't improve is diet

So meet with the nutritionists and social workers and take their advice about how to improve his diet. Seems simple enough to me.

[Maat]

51. As a veteran social worker ..

currently retired for seven years ... I am TOTALLY AGAINST this child being taken into protective custody.

There is NO reason that the pertinent social services cannot be provided. Counselors can work with Mom to see that a complete medical workup is done (beyond what has been done), a plan can be worked out, and Mom can be taught to implement it. With the proper encouragement, Mom can go from being reluctant to being an expert at dealing with his unique needs. This is definitely a "family maintenance" type of situation.

This is not a CLEAR case of imminent death, there is a high degree of affection and bonding between Mother and Son, and Mother seems aware enough to participate in training. Additionally, I can guarantee that it will be EXTREMELY difficult, if not impossible, to find foster parents that can cope with this, and still maintain the child's current standard of living. It would be extremely difficult in the long run to terminate rights here, and things would not go well in the interim before any attempt to do so.

Just my two cents' worth.

[Madspirit]

52. Not Logical

If this child has had a complete medical workup and nothing is wrong except his family's eating habits, the mother is poisoning the child. However, there is no mal-intent and taking a child from their home and making them part of the System, a ward of the state, is also very bad for a child's health, physical and mental, especially when a cheaper and healthier alternative would be to teach them correct nutrition. Period. The mother shouldn't have this requirement as an option; it should be mandatory and the courts should check on them to make sure it is happening but that should be where they start. It is extremely destructive to a child to be taken away from his home. It can cause deep deep scars, just as bad as the obesity can cause. There is a happy medium here. If the mom refuses to comply, the drastic measure is always there for the taking but first, try something less intrusive and destructive.
Lee

[judaspriestess]

53. maybe the mom suffer from

Munchhausen syndrome and is using her kid to get attention.