Creepy Freepy Email -- Out of Iraq (!) but then....OMG you've gotta read this.

[elehhhhna]

( I wish y'all could see the real thing -- it has 15 colors and about 50 thousand different fonts. Enjoy!)



Subject: Wouldn't it be great...



WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
' My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.


Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short . The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER IT'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home . On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon ne chance, me z a mies.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2 its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, 'darn tootin.'

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America . Thank you and good night. '

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

(Please forward this to at least ten friends and see what happens! Let's get this to every USA computer!)

[PDJane]

1. There are too many fallacies in there to actually refute

Them all before bed.......

[elehhhhna]

4. iT'S THE WORST i ever SAW

& we get this sort of freepmail all the time from a friend's parents...the lady, in fact, who tore my Lampson for Congress sign out of my front yard, then had a massive stroke.

So I just ignore it. This one was just soooo good it begged to be on DU.

[Hydra]

2. Actually, minus a few ideas up there

His plan would go a long way toward a calmer world. That's why it will never happen. We're only staying afloat on our ability to screw the world out of its goods.

[OwnedByFerrets]

3. And my reply would be....

FUCK YOU!!!

[elehhhhna]

5. ll see post #4 to find out why no reply

[Dukkha]

6. they want a president that says 'darn tootin'

:eyes:

[OwnedByFerrets]

8. They've had one for 7

fucking years and they still get off on this shit

[Parche]

7. Ha

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER IT'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.


That one kills me, where did they do their math.......Iraq has cost or will cost almost 2Trillion $$$ that is with a T ....doesnt even come close to Foreign aid.......

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Just right wing drivel

:hi:

[Contrary1]

9. PS. None of the above will apply to my best buds...

the Soudees.

Yor're preznedent,
Gorge w, Bush

[elehhhhna]

15. LMAO

:rofl: :rofl::rofl::rofl:

[ProgressiveFool]

10. I've read that one before

I don't want to bother reading the whole thing, but I'll just take a look at this sentence for a quick howler of unintentional truth:

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

Our mission in Iraq is to spend taxpayer money as long as Congress keeps authorizing it.

[MnFats]

11. too many to list, but slamming france is too , too much

the french were with us on afghanistan, which was where the REAL fight was, not Iraq.
I know a cop who served a year in afghanistan and came away believing tthe French were among the toughest, bravest soldiers there.
'nobody better disrespect the french while i'm around,' hesaid.

funny to see spain on theasshole writer's list of good guys, too.
they got lied into the war when public opinion was clearly against it, dumped their president for one who reflected the public opinion in spain and got their soldiers the hell out of there.

[Jack Rabbit]

12. I vaguely remember that floating around the Net circa 2003

Or at least by the time it was blatantly obvious that Bush had lied, that no stated reason for invading Iraq was accurate, and that very few nations supported Bush's Mesopotamian misadventure.

The Bushbots were simply trying to shift the blame.

[wryter2000]

13. "me z a mies"?

Is that Freeperese for mezzanine?

[Old and In the Way]

14. Written by a truly ignorant and impotent person.

Sad to see someone chained to their prejudices. The faults are always with someone else....a shame they have no faculty for self-critique.

[Echo In Light]

17. It's called "patriotism" i.e. blind allegiance to authority

[elehhhhna]

22. imo, it's actually "Jingoism"

[Echo In Light]

23. Chauvinism and jingoism are synonymous with patriotism

[walldude]

16. "If you can read this, thank a teacher" LMAO

Which teachers are those? The ones in the private schools or the public school teachers who have been getting their thanks by continually getting fucked over and berated by the Republicans?

[elehhhhna]

18. If you aren't reading it in German, thank a soldier

oy

[OnionPatch]

19. When you see someone bashing France

You can almost be certain that person leans to the right. So some of them finally see Iraq is a mess and we should get out. That doesn't make them sane.

[wtmusic]

20. Interesting that they support Social Security

So very French of them.

[Doctor Cynic]

21. This guy has his head up his ass.

If anything, it's the USA that should be begging for the mercy of other countries. How else do you explain the fact that China has an enormous pile of Benjamins it can unleash at its own will?

The world has irreversibly globalised socially, economically, and politically. And over here, that's a good thing as it prevents politicians from mucking around.

[Ganja Ninja]

24. The ramblings of a simple minded right wing lunatic.

Lots of hatred for France and foreigners in general. Pompous, arrogant, ignorant and belligerent from beginning to end. Hey! I think I just described the Bush foreign policy.