Apologies to the DU Admins: Another Fund Drive? Where did the money go? (Answer: Programmer Chow)

[Hawkeye-X]

Reposted from the archives (5/16/06)

Sometimes it seems like Democratic Underground is asking for money all the time. Wasn't it just yesterday that we were passing out Valentine's hearts like third graders on a sugar high? Believe it or not, it's been three months, which means it's time for us to fill up our coffers again.

With this in mind, we have attached a brief list (below) of some of our monthly expenses. I am sure you will agree that that our spending is both modest and responsible for an extremely popular, high-traffic website such as this.

We hope that you will take a moment to donate right now. We accept online donations by credit card and PayPal, and we accept donations by mail with a check or money order. And yes, we even accept payment in Programmer Chow (Vegan Formula only, please).


Selected Monthly Expenses for Democratic Underground

$ 250.00 Care and feeding for gerbils that run on the little rodent wheels that power our web servers.

$ 850.00 Presidential criticism tax (a little-noticed legal provision buried deep inside the PATRIOT Act).

$ 3,850.00 Three weeks of rehab to help EarlG kick his debilitating chamomile tea addiction.

$ 100.00 Phone taps.

$ 50.00 Electric sheep for GrovelBot's sleep subroutine.

$ 1,700.00 State-of-the-art Artificial Intelligence "chat bot" programs to give the appearance that Democratic Underground has actual visitors.

$ 300.00 Royalties to "Get a Brain! Morans" guy for use of his photograph.

$ 1,500.00 Slush fund.

$ 5,299.00 "Dragon Skin" Body Armor (with optional face guard) for Skinner's hunting trip with Vice President.

$10,000.00 Hush money for former interns.

$ 7.50 Duct tape and chewing gum to fix General Discussion forum whenever it breaks.

$52,000.00 Bribes for Randy "Duke" Cunningham.

$ 525.00 Trained monkeys with typewriters to write Top 10 Conservative Idiots.

$ 150.00 Lock box.

$ 9,750.00 Annual all-expenses-paid golf junket to St. Andrews, Scotland, for DU Admins and Tom DeLay.

$ 225.00 Routine maintenance for Moderator Hot Tub.

$ 800.00 Bartender(s) to serve Piña Coladas, Mai Tais, and Strawberry Daiquiris at Friday afternoon Moderator Hot Tub parties (not including tips, which come from the slush fund).

$ 50.00 Bush-to-English translating services.

$ 950.00 Satin dog bed, "Shiatsu massage" grooming services, and three daily meals of 100% pure aged Japanese grass-fed Kobe beef (seared to perfection by private chef) for Romeo, Skinner's toy chihuahua.

$ 89.99 Programmer Chow for Elad (Vegan Formula).

But seriously...

It actually is extremely expensive to run this website, and we do our best to keep our costs as low as possible. Currently, each month we spend approximately $4,500 on web servers and bandwidth (extremely reasonable for a database-driven website that does well over a million pageviews a day), $10,000 on salaries for three admins (divide that number by three: our salaries are well below average for computer professionals), $900 for rent for a one-room office, and an additional $2,000 or so on miscellaneous expenses (computer hardware & software, letterhead & postage for thank-yous, cell phones, lawyer, accountant, high-speed Internet connection, etc.).

We depend on the voluntary donations of DU members to help keep this place going. In exchange for your donation you get the satisfaction of knowing you're helping out a good cause, you get a donor star and access to donor features, and during this fund drive for every $10 you donate you get to post a sticky on GrovelBot's Big Board. (Grovelbot's Big Board will appear on the 2nd quarter, I'm sure! (-Hawkeye-X)

It only takes a minute, and it'll make you feel good. Please take a moment to donate right now.

Thank you so much for your support.

Skinner
DU Admin

Admins/mods - I had to repost it - it was the funniest thing I've ever read

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

1. A Remarkable Accounting.

Especially since over at RimJob's place, any inquiry about their expenditures gets you "zotted" and you become a victim of character assassination.

And if I had a nickel for every time I have tucked into a hearty meal of Purina Shit-Flavored Geek Chow...I'd have a lot of nickels.

[XemaSab]

4. Have you SEEN RimJob?

Trust me, even Fresno hookers aren't gonna touch THAT without a lot of money. :puke:

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

5. "Even Fresno Hookers"

As telling a line as I have ever read. You've had to have been there, at some point, to know what that really means.

[Huge Ego Sorry]

2. I'd be willing to bartend for a good bit less per month...

Granted, all I can mix is screwdrivers...

[Hekate]

3. I want me some of that hot tub action, with a Margarita. KnR!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Hekate