Using Republican Speak, how would you define the following events

[ck4829]

If you don't know what Republican Speak is, that is when you take something and call it the exact opposite to give it a positive mask. For example, the Clean Air Act actually lets corporations pollute MORE.

Now to the questions, using Republican Speak, what would you call the following events:

Death Squads in Iraq are...

A Neo-Fascist coup in a foreign country is...

Putting discrimination in the Constitution is...

Giving the reins of government to the Corporations is...

An Alien Invasion from outside this world is...

[annabanana]

1. oookay, let's see...

Death Squads are dead enders
A Neo-Fascist coup in a foreign country is a new trading partner, ripe for the CAFTA,NAFTA treatment
Putting discrimination in the Constitution is protecting our freedoms of course.
Giving the reins of government to the Corporations is just good business.
An Alien Invasion from outside this world is HUZZAH! "terra terra terra" everlasting!

[Cabcere]

2. OK, I'll give it a shot...

Not sure how good it'll be, but it sounds like fun, so...here we go!

1) Death Squads in Iraq are...actually pro-life forces (trying to stop the godless baby-killing abortionists). :eyes:

2) A Neo-Fascist coup in a foreign country is...practical resource management (provided that said foreign country has oil).

3) Putting discrimination in the Constitution is...protecting American rights (just like our Founding Fathers intended)!

4) Giving the reins of government to big corporations is...helping our economy!!!111!!1

5) An Alien Invasion from outside this world is...perfectly okay, provided they're not ILLEGAL aliens. ;) (Sorry, couldn't help myself!)


Ugh, my brain hurts. :crazy:

[Ian David]

3. Here are some

Death Squads in Iraq are... Freelance Freedom-fighters

A Neo-Fascist coup in foreign country is... A Freedom Correction

Putting discrimination in the Constitution is... Preserving Biblical Values

Giving the reins of government to the Corporations is... Market-Force-Based Government

An Alien Invasion from outside this world is... The Return of Space-Jesus.

[Greeby]

4. In order

Freedom Fighters (Hey, it worked with the Contras)

Democracy

Liberty

Limited Government

Our ex-terrestrial liberators

[HappyWeasel]

8. Wow...this is good.

I good one worder for ET would be "Diplomacy". "Progress" or "Education".

[Mz Pip]

5. Easy

Death squads in Iraq are proof that the insurgents are desperate and in their last throes.

Neo-fascist coup is proof that the will of the people prevails.

Puttng discrimination in the Constitution is what our Founding Fathers planned out all along.

Giving the reins of government to the Corporations allows for those who have a greater stake in America some control.

An Alien Invasion from the outside world is all Clinton's fault.

Mz Pip
:dem:

[Cabcere]

10. Holy crap...

Karl Rove, is that you?! :scared: ;) That sounds almost exactly like Republican logic...terrifyingly similar, in fact. Well done. :hi:

[The Straight Story]

6. Here ya go:

Death Squads in Iraq are...
Islamic fascists. Most the deaths in Iraq now are by these people and other Iraqis, not the US.

A Neo-Fascist coup in foreign country is...
A rebellion against opression

Putting discrimination in the Constitution is...
Reflective of the world and it's values at a given moment of time.

Giving the reins of government to the Corporations is...
Good since they can run things better than people with no motivation and full of bloat.

An Alien Invasion from outside this world is...
Bound to happen - but it will be angels of god arriving here to get rid of the liberal tyranny and sin.

[HappyWeasel]

7. uhh

Death Squads in Iraq are..."A Democratic Interest Group"

A Neo-Fascist coup in foreign country is... "Progress towards Freedom"

Putting discrimination in the Constitution is... "Protecting the Constitution"

Giving the reins of government to the Corporations is..."Administrative Reform"

An Alien Invasion from outside this world is... "divine intervention"

[Fresh_Start]

9. this sounds like fun

Death Squads in Iraq are...pro-life squads
A Neo-Fascist coup in foreign country is...democracy at work
Putting discrimination in the Constitution is...preserving our freedoms
Giving the reins of government to the Corporations is...free market efficiency
An Alien Invasion from outside this world is...proof that evolution is bad science

[HappyWeasel]

12. Exactly.

They're not terrorists, they're "pro-life".

[HappyWeasel]

11. This is fun. What is doublespeak for

"Selling the National Park System"
"Overturning Roe v. Wade"
"Abolishing the Income Tax"
"Molesting Pages"
"Selling Government to Lobbyists"
"Nuking Iran"
"Explaining MAD in an attempt to stay in power after the country and the world has been devistated by MAD"
"Being caught being a homosexual meth head when you are supposed to be a homophobic demagogue"
"Cybernetic Revolt"
"Resession"
"trying to deny said ET attack"

[Cabcere]

15. OK...

"Selling the National Park System" - "Preserving our country's natural resources for future generations"
"Overturning Roe v. Wade" - "Ensuring the right to LIFE for all Americanfetuses!"
"Abolishing the Income Tax" - "NO INCOME TAX!!11!!!!111!!!11!"
"Molesting Pages" - "Youth Outreach Program"
"Selling Government to Lobbyists" - "Government by the people/Protecting the middle class"
"Nuking Iran" - "Making the world safe for democracy!!!111!!!!11! (I'm SERIES!)" :puke:
"Explaining MAD in an attempt to stay in power after the country and the world has been devistated by MAD" - "Protecting our nation's interests"
"Being caught being a homosexual meth head when you are supposed to be a homophobic demagogue" - "Outreach Ministry to the Dregs of Society Less Fortunate"

[mondo joe]

13. Death Squads are Life Squads, of course. Discrimination in the Constitution is Freedom Legislation.

Someone please scrub me clean now.

[Bobbie Jo]

14. Let me take a stab at this.

Death Squads in Iraq are...Perpetuates chaos, prevents democracy from taking root, kills innocent Iraqis and Americans, supported by Iran.

A Neo-Fascist coup in foreign country is...Speading freedom and democracy. Liberation from tyrants and dictators. Vital to our national security.

Putting discrimination in the Constitution is...Provides protections against Muslim extremists who want to kill Americans and threaten our way of life.

Giving the reins of government to the Corporations is...A free market economy.

An Alien Invasion from outside this world is...Prepare for the rapture, be joyous.

[daviscn]

16. Oh! And don't forget...

The Brits leaving Iraq is actually evidence that the whole thing is working out swimmingly. Mission Accomplished!

CD

[northofdenali]

17. I'm not sure of my answers, being as I'm half lit, but -

Death Squads in Iraq are... only a way they’re showing how much their God means to them; we just need to show them another of God's way.

A Neo-Fascist coup in a foreign country is... a Triumph for Capitalism and God.

Putting discrimination in the Constitution is... Protecting Family Values and our Way of Worship.

Giving the reins of government to the Corporations is... the only democratic way our Government can operate with GOd at the helm.

An Alien Invasion from outside this world is... planned by God, and we preachers had better be in charge.