Daaayum, guy on Craigslist wants your stuff at dimes on the dollar!

[Truth2Tell]

Quite the Craigslist listing from Rhode Island:

Reply to: [e-mail]
Date: 2008-01-28, 1:37PM EST

Wanted: YOUR TOYS

You: an average American. You are deeply in debt and still continue to borrow every day to feed your habit. You walk into Wawa and, for a measly $2.99 coffee and breakfast sandwich, you rip out the credit card because you have no cash (that’s me behind you in line). The concept of buying only those things you can actually afford is foreign to you. You feel that a $500k home with a big screen TV and BMW in the driveway are entitlements you deserve … even though you never finished college and earn about $45k/year. Going back to school … improving your skills … these are also distasteful to you. Math was not your favorite subject and, when the mortgage brokers told you that you could borrow your way to riches, you bit hook, line and sinker. Your mortgage rate has reset …you’re on the verge of foreclosure, making minimum payments on your credit cards and the Yellow Pages book on your kitchen table is opened up to “Bankruptcy Attorneys”. Gas prices and utility bills are killing you. Your job is not as secure as you thought. You are panicked. You are desperate. And the liquidation of assets (toys) such as your Beemer, your Big Screen, your fancy electronic toys, your Sea Doo, that nice new diamond ring bought with home equity cash … is going to be necessary to buy food and heat.

Of course, it’s all someone else’s fault. That someone else is …

Me: I sold my home at in late 2005 knowing full well that this massive housing bubble was unsustainable (I was a math major – that geeky guy you hated and despised in high school). And, no, you can’t copy my test answers. I put over half a million in the bank (less than $100k in any one bank to have complete FDIC insurance coverage). I didn’t have a mortgage because I always spent less than I earned and aggressively paid off my mortgage in just 7 years. I also didn’t pay a Realtor commission when I sold – who needed a Realtor to sell ANYTHING in 2005. I could have sold an outhouse for $250k to you dopes back then. I am a renter and I rent a 3-bedroom home cheap ($1600/mo) because the landlord has no pricing power. Rents are going to get even cheaper as more housing supply comes on the market and desperate flippers will rent at almost any price to soften the negative cash flow a bit. While you were buying your McMansion, I paid cash for everything, have no debt whatsoever and SAVE almost $30k/year. I don’t own a big screen TV or a boat. I have never bought a new car and I never will (not an investment – a depreciating asset). I am clearly *NOT* doing my part to support the US economy and you can blame me all you want for not pulling my weight. I am going to be a homeowner again but not for a few years. Housing is going to take a 50%+ haircut no matter what “stimulus” Bush provides in the form of rebates and regardless of whether Bernanke cuts interest rates to ZERO. The bond market will negate any interest rate reduction in hours or minutes. That ¾ point cut last week was swallowed up by the bond market in just 3 hours. It won’t matter a whit as there is too much debt and leverage in play for this not to unwind very painfully. I am not in the stock market either as that haircut will be equally painful. In the meantime, I want to enjoy life so I’m in the market for a few toys; specifically *your* toys (I don’t pay retail for anything). At the right price, my son would love to watch sports on a nice big screen. I’m thinking of riding your jet skis this summer (cheap, of course). I met a wonderful woman this past autumn and we are hitting it off amazingly. She and I are like-minded with regard to the above. So, she would not mind at all wearing that nice diamond ring even if it’s second hand (she’d probably come in her panties if she knew I got it for dimes on the dollar). My Jetta still runs nice but your BMW would be a great addition to my driveway. I don’t care what you owe on it – I’m not paying that much. But I am paying CASH. What have you got?

http://providence.craigslist.org/wan/554551884.html?ref=patrick.net

[zabet]

1. A vulture

waiting to pick
the bones.

[gateley]

2. That is scary. nt

[Der Blaue Engel]

3. That guy's a dick n/t

[mike_c]

4. K&R-- LMCAO....

Laughing my cheap ass off....

K&R!

[tkmorris]

5. I think that is fucking hilarious

:shrug:

[BeHereNow]

6. Brilliant.

I like this guy.
Calling out 90% of the people I know.

BHN

[originalpckelly]

7. Total dick, with a good mindset about finances.

[malaise]

25. But but but

he does have a point. It was funny.

[xchrom]

8. r-i-g-h-t -- i always believe people who brag about themselves on the internet.

:eyes:

[dysfunctional press]

9. if housing drops the 50% + that he's "predicting"...

he may not like the world that we'll ALL be living in.

[Wcross]

26. He isn't too far off the mark.

http://homeguide123.com/articles/What_Median_Home_Prices_Would_Look_Like_If_the_Bubble_Never_Happened.html

There will be a major correction in prices. Read the article.

[dysfunctional press]

27. that's one article.

if home prices fall 50%, the vast majority of americans will be upside-down on their mortgages.
some pockets may see drops near that, but the nation as a whole won't see anything near a 50% drop.

[Wcross]

28. When they have a "no money down" loan, even a 10 percent drop hurts.

If people had to sign liar loans in order to finance their homes, the market was overpriced. In Nashville I have seen the foreclosure pages in the paper grow from one to six full pages. There is going to be a correction in prices and it won't be pretty.

[fenriswolf]

10. those who can will take advantage of

just like people who have foresight and go into realestate early, or get into a company early. This guy had the foresite and now hes reaping the rewards. good for him. He will get offers too so people see their goods who need money and they get cash. its a win win.

[Swamp Rat]

11. dumb ass

In a few years your "over half a million in the bank" won't buy jack shit because the dollar will be worth a LOT less, dumb ass.

"I am clearly *NOT* doing my part to support the US economy." See the above, dumb ass.

Rent @ $1,600 month?? LOL! There's NO equity in that. Should have held onto your house and rented a couple of rooms to grad students, dumb ass.

"Rents are going to get even cheaper." :rofl: dumb ass.

"I’m in the market for a few toys." There goes your savings. The used, plastic junk you want to buy will have NO RESALE VALUE, dumb ass.

"My Jetta still runs nice." Um, how much are the VW parts and the repair costs on that thing? dumb ass.

"I am going to be a homeowner again but not for a few years." I doubt it, dumb ass.

"(she’d probably come in her panties if she knew I got it for dimes on the dollar)." You are single and live in mom's basement, dumb ass.

[originalpckelly]

13. That's only $19200 lost a year...

That's better than $250,000 lost a year.

I agree with you on the equity point, but sometimes it is wise to play the market and take advantage of the herd mentality.

[Swamp Rat]

$250,000 lost a year?

From where is that figure derived? What does it mean? To what do we compare it in what context?

I think this guy is just making things up to be a jerk.

[NutmegYankee]

16. VW parts are not that bad.

The quality issues got a lot better in the late 90s. Overall, the repairs are not much worse than other makes. Basically, if you take care of the car, any make, it isn't that bad. It amazes me how people have this mindset that Honda and Toyota are way better, but when you look at the bills and frequency, they pay about the same as my Jetta. :shrug:

[Swamp Rat]

17. VW parts are expensive unless you own a 1970s or older Beetle.

I know because I owned many VWs over the years, and worked on them myself. The cheapest old cars to repair are Chevys, Fords, and Dodges. I pay close to half the price on parts for my Neon than I would for a VW of the same year. You are right about Japanese imports though. It's better to throw them away, like a Bic lighter.

[NutmegYankee]

19. I see what you mean. Yes, Bosch is always more expensive.

But I just pop by the local U-Pick-it and pay $0.75 for the sensor or switch I need. There is always a few models wrecked by some 20 year-old available. Also, some domestic brands, like GP Sorenson provide pretty good prices.

[Swamp Rat]

20. Some prices are ok, especially if you don't mind cheap VW parts from Brazil.

When I lived in Brazil, it was as cheap as buying bicycle parts here in the USA!

Junk yards are good places for finding certain parts, especially for much older cars (having a lathe and a milling machine can be handy too), but hurricane Katrina really screwed us up, ruining a lot of useable parts. What we didn't use got sent up north and to other states east and west.


MOPAR roolz baby!

[pansypoo53219]

12. ooh, like ebay isn't there.

slowly selling off grandma's hoard. mostly crap going for 99¢, but then i ebay of an old insurance spinning top. HOOBOY grandma, good job!

[Ikonoklast]

14. I call bullshit

Unless he was eligible to take the one-time capital gains exclusion on selling a primary residence, this jerk got HAMMERED by the IRS.

Not a smart thing to give up all those gains just to pay taxes on them. He would have been miles ahead by investing in more real estate in an area n where the downturn isn't as severe, and sheltered at least some of the capital gains.

And the 'half a million' he put in the bank in 2005 is now worth 30% less as the dollar has cratered since then.

[originalpckelly]

15. He did sell his house.

And the dollar hasn't lost 30% of its value in that amount of time, it has lost that since 2002.

[fed-up]

23. since 1995 or 1996 (Clinton) $250K per person profit on primary house is non-taxable

that means if he was married he gets $500K that is NOT subject to capital gains tax from his primary residence that he had to live in at least two years or two out of the past five

this is what started the house flipping and was part of what drove prices up, all of a sudden more people's houses turned into investment cash cows instead of homes

add in cheap interest and no-doc, zero down payment loans and the market spiraled out of control

[BlackVelvet04]

18. What an asshole......n/t

[Duer 157099]

21. Lighten up everyone. The poster is clearly trying for "Best of" status

Lots of CL posters tailor their posts just so they can get voted for the "Best of CL" status and clearly that's what this guy is doing.

Besides, if it were real, he would have mentioned putting his money into gold.

[water]

22. So fake, but funny none the less. Thanks for the post.

[Vinca]

24. Other antique dealers have told me this is the best time to buy.

Unfortunately, some of us are poor antique dealers.

[Horse with no Name]

29. I bought my furniture from some poor souls like this

They were selling EVERYTHING in their house...for cents on the dollar.
However, I gave them the price they asked and not a cent less.
Living on credit is not a sustainable lifestyle.
Keep watching craigslist and Ebay for extreme deals.
He is right. People can't eat their credit cards and they can't eat their bills.