Onion: Depressed Romney Airs Attack Ad Against Self

[villager]

Depressed Candidate Runs Attack Ad About Self

January 28, 2008

WASHINGTON—In the midst of a fiercely competitive presidential race with no clear Republican front-runner in sight, an increasingly depressed Mitt Romney shocked political insiders Monday when he released a new national attack ad targeting himself.

The ad, which is scheduled to air across the country this week, features an unshaven and visibly crestfallen Romney taking himself to task on a number of key campaign issues, including health-care reform, illegal immigration, and "what's the use of even trying anymore?"
Enlarge Image Depressed Candidate

The ad features the former governor of Massachusetts drowning his sorrows in junk food and whiskey.

"Mitt Romney says he's a candidate for change. He says he's a candidate Americans can finally trust," begins the self-destructive television spot, narrated by Romney himself. "But in 2004, this so-called Washington outsider approved nearly four separate tax hikes. And do you know why he did that? Because he's a big fat disappointment, that's why."

"Ugh," the television spot continues. "I'm going back to bed."

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