(on edit: We do have a Science Forum! Only the nerdiest hang out there. :))
1) Natural selection operated even before life existed. If there were alternative biochemistries, they would have had to compete with RNA/DNA. Evidently, any which existed have not survived. Or it may just be that whichever started first, won.
There may have been a slightly variant form of nucleic acids early on, known as pyranose RNA/DNA. This area is still being explored.
Google or Wiki "RNA world" for some interesting background, not *directly* connected to your questions:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RNA_world_hypothesis2) Very partial answer, a lot of DNA/RNA behavior is "hardwired" into the structures of the molecules themselves. That is, they behave the way they do because of their structures, and their structures lead to behavior which results in their structure being duplicated -- a case of self-propagating structure. This assumes a supply of the necessary building blocks is in hand!
Certain components of RNA are known to be produced under abiotic (or prebiotic) conditions, such as would have existed on a primitive Earth (or maybe Titan, who knows). Simple sugars, for example, can be produced from formaldehyde, while hydrogen cyanide, ammonia and other precursors lead to the nucleoside bases themselves. Thus RNA incorporates what are probably the simplest, earliest building blocks that could lead to a self-propagating, information-bearing structure. So the way the machinery functions springs directly from the properties of atoms and molecules.
That only addresses your question at the most basic level, and says nothing about the intricate details, where I think you're asking about ontogeny (the development of organisms during reproduction). Unfortunately, the wiki articles on both ontogeny and developmental biology are little more than stubs.
Take the old-fashioned approach: read a book! I recommend Horace Freeland Judson's "The Eighth Day of Creation", which is a *history* of modern molecular biology, not a textbook on the subject, but a more enjoyable read for that reason. The discovery of the structure of DNA is something that's been discussed (and dramatized) endlessly, but reading this book will make you realize just how many new questions were raised once the structure was known. Solving the structure was just the beginning. Sir Francis Crick was heavily involved in working out many of the answers to these questions, and posed the "fundamental dogma" with which all molecular biologists are now familiar. (A very *thick* book, I know ...)