Welcome to this week's DUzy Awards, honoring righteous rejoinders, rare risibility and rapier ripostes from this week on DU. Congratulations to this week's winners!
Feel free to add your own choices. The taste-great-less-filling DUzies will be announced every Friday, if I get around to it. Previous awards can be found in my journal.
Note to Mods: Skinner has authorized the DUzy Awards to be posted in GD. On a thread by IanDB1: Bush Has Moles, Believed Benign, Removed From His Foreheadresponse #2 by
CrazyOrangeCat:
I'm sure the moles are quite relieved. n/tresponse #4 by
Hand:
"Free at last, free at last..." ntresponse #5 by
karlrschneider:
If we could only get that nasty growth removed from his neck...:eyes:
response #6 by
NRaleighLiberal:
Now his IQ will drop at least 50 points!....ntresponse #7 by
smirkymonkey:
...all the way down to zero.Ouch. :evilgrin:
response #10 by
hlthe2b:
ahh, poor little guys...That empty head of his...was the perfect place to burrow. Ruthlessly evicted...
response #22 by
northofdenali:
This week's DUzy awards (or next week's)needs to include every Mole thread posted today. They're some of the funniest threads I've read in a long long time. :rofl: :rofl:
BTW, their names were Stevie and Peter, and plan to move to Massachusetts to be married in an underground ceremony.
response #24 by
SoCalDem:
The 3rd Mole, Eric, saw his shadow and crawled back inside George's skullHe's busily at work in there, waiting for spring.
response #25 by
jazzjunkysue:
The alien symbiont attempts to escape feet first, only to be amputatedat the ankles. Wonder what he'll try next.
"Scotty! One to beam up!"
response #26 by
EstimatedProphet:
NOTHING that comes from Bush could ever be considered benign!response #27 by
graywarrior:
Moles or molds?And an honorable mention to all the other responses in the thread.Special thanks to northofdenali for the heads-up on this one.:patriot:
GD, February 16, 2007:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x230695 OP by SoCalDem: First Lady's transplant, an apparent successFirst Lady, laura bush apparently underwent a successful button transplant.
No doubt we are all relieved that it went well
response #4 by
Steve_DeShazer:
All she needs is the hat, and voila! Aeroflot stewardess!response #7 by
TallahasseeGrannie:
hey, don't make fun of that suitI wore the exact same one in 1973. Different buttons, though. Bullet proof polyester.
(meowwwwww)
GD, February 17, 2007:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x233343 OP by salinen: Anna Nicole BushSimilarities?
Chasing billionaires. History of drug abuse. Making comedians jobs easier. Big boobs. On TV way too much. Wild parties at mansions? No talent?
And now let's talk about Anna Nicole.
response #4 by
aint_no_life_nowhere:
Anna Nicole only screwed half the people in AmericaNo comparison to Bush, there.
But your post is hilarious. LOL!
GD, February 17, 2007:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x237105 OP by NYCALIZ: Bush announced new dollar coin to celebrate himselfthe two-faced coin will honor the President with his two faces - the smirking face and the clueless face.
It will feature his new abbreviated constitution, I'm the decider and you can't stop me.
response #1 by
rocknation:
Render unto Bush that which is Bush'sand renderize unto America that which is...uh...well, at least we won't get fooled again!
response #2 by
Double T:
Probably will be made out of 'fools gold'.response #3 by
librechik:
Is it a 2$ coin?That would be as phony as he is
response #4 by
Bucky:
Yes, but only redeemable in Chinese yuans with a 15% interest rate.The good news is that you can buy anything with it and you don't have to pay off that 15% interest rate for two generations!
GD, February 17, 2007:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x234387 On a thread by proud2Blib: Just when I thought I had heard it all this freeper blows a 10 on the dumb scaleresponse #12 by
Marr:
You know how the History Channel does those Civil War documentarieswhere they have actors read letters from the era to flesh out the period? I wonder- if they did one on the rise of Hitler, would the Brownshirts' correspondence have the flavor of a Freeper post? I expect they would.
Deer Helga,
OMG I m at der rallee 2day an itz AMASING I M SERIEZ.
Love always,
Hans
GD, February 17, 2007:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x232481 On a thread by chaska: Damn good one to pass on: 'Mystery: How Wealth Creates Poverty in the World'.response #22 by
Duppers:
don't knowIs the real secret that the planet is already incapable of supporting its present population -- and the whole farce of wealth-on-paper a kind of false front to keep people from noticing that fact?Your thought has crossed my mind too. BUT Al doesn't think so, NOT YET anyway!
Simply put, money is power and that power is not being used to care for the planet. There's the crime.
As my son once said,
"Trickle down-economics makes as much sense as feeding the rich better food, so that the poor will have better shit to eat!"
:crazy:
Special thanks to djmaddox1 for the heads-up on this one.:patriot:
GD, February 17, 2007:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x236272 OP by Hardrada: The new dollar coin presidential series means that Richard Nixonand LBJ and Gerald Ford will finally be honored on coins. The new Nixon dollar coin! Should be real popular. The James Buchanan and Warren G. Harding coins ought to be real winners too!!
response #4 by
MisterP:
Ford, Reagan, & Nixon only worth 80 cents eachresponse #9 by
LeftyMom:
It's a plot to get creepy old Republicans in America's pants. :scared:
response #24 by
yibbehobba:
I hear the William Howard Taft dollar coin......is five inches in diameter.
:evilgrin:
Special thanks to djmaddox1 for the heads-up on this one.:patriot:
GD, February 17, 2007:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x232738 On a thread by uppityperson: Explosion in Russian McDonald's ("hooliganism" not "terrorism") interesting times we live inresponse #2 by
Sabriel:
Lots of "hooligans" at work in Iraq today, tooWhat's next for euphemisms..."Iraqi whippersnappers killed 51 people today in suicide attacks"?
response #4 by
Kelvin Mace:
Wellso long as I am blown up by a "hooliganistic" bomb instead of a terrorist bomb, I can bleed to death with an untroubled mind.
LBN, February 18, 2007:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x2736525 On a thread by walldude: Impeachment... What's the point?in response to response #1 by Gman:
I don't want impeachment at this pointI want federal indictments on all of them then turn 'em all over to the International Criminal Court...
response #14 by
theboss:
And I want Scarlett Johanson to give me a back-rubWhile we are on the subject of pipe dreams.
Special thanks to babylonsister for the heads-up on this one.:patriot:
GD, February 19, 2007:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x247101 OP by Oeditpus Rex: Why do we say 'American soil'?Doesn't anyone ever launch an attack or set foot on American concrete, tarmac, sand, etc.? :shrug:
response #1 by
Left Is Write:
Because "American dirt" was already taken by the tabloids. :P
response #2 by
MonkeyFunk:
becausevarious popes have kissed and therefore blessed all our tarmac.
response #5 by
Blue-Jay:
Because we grow better cherry tomatoes than any other country!Suck that, Bolivia!
response #7 by
jpgray:
Because we've soiled so many things.response #8 by
ZombieNixon:
Because "American earthworm shit" just isn't epic enough. :P
The Lounge, February 19, 2007:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x6211948 OP by Bluebear: Brittun cuting and runing??? Boycott Fish and chip's!!!111 and Tea!!!11And...and....
Ah, conservatives.
response #1 by
redwitch:
no more buttered scones for me! :-)
response #5 by
FLDem5:
FLDem5FREEDOM MUFFINS for everyone!
response #15 by
Oregonian:
And stop speaking English!Wait, I mean xxyx qtypsgbw Evrqpxy!
response #19 by
aint_no_life_nowhere:
Freedom Sheepdogs - Freedom Sparrows - The Freedom PatientThe Freedom Channel - Freedom as the official language - the Queen's Freedom.
response #37 by
tabasco:
How DARE they leave the Grand Coalition!!!!!111!!!What is it now, us and one battalion from Fiji?
response #40 by
Blue State Native:
You forgot Poland...Oh wait.... :evilgrin:
response #43 by
KrazyKat:
My Fawlty Towers DVDs: Gone! My Laurence Olivier autograph: Gone!I'm done with those Limeys! We hadta bail 'em outta WWI and WWII, and this is GRATITUDE?????? Well, they'll just have to get through life without the help of the USA from this moment forward!
Harrumph!
And Winston Churchill was a pansy! :crazy:
response #45 by
soup:
Strawberry Fields ForNeverSgt. Pepper's UnAmerican Hearts Club Band
and that's just the tip of the iceberg - full speed ahead...
GD, February 20, 2007:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x254708 On a thread by antifaschits: Iran is PROVOKING US? Gimme an effin break.response #1 by
IsItJustMe:
Tomorrow we will be told to hate Bolivia. I can see it now. Put some press releases on FAUX, haveold Charlie Daniels create some off the wall song, get some endorsements from NASCAR drivers, and off to the war we go baby.
Aint that America?
response #4 by
antifaschits:
and what about Belgium? Huh? HUH?talk about something worse than France.
GD, February 20, 2007:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x255230 On a thread by mongo: Hungary may legalize porn involving 14- to 17-year-olds for home useresponse #1 by
krispos42:
I predict a lot of GOP fact-finding missions to BudapestEspecially by mega-church pastors
response #11 by
lpbk2713:
This just in .....Headline .... Neil Bush appointed ambassador to Hungary, film at eleven.
:sarcasm:
response #34 by
Czolgosz:
...but will Hungary allow explicit photos of lameduck-on-terrorist action?GD, February 20, 2007:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x252387 On a thread by oberliner: Hitler-Themed Sugar Draws Ire of Jewish Rights Groupresponse #3 by
Canuckistanian:
DAMN! There goes my "Stalin Coffee Creamer" ideaBack to the drawing board.
response #6 by
johnfunk:
I suggest you get into the Dick Cheney Artificial Sweetener businessIt's the fascist... er, fastest way to sweeten that morning cup of Victory Coffee and Freedom Toast in the Bush Regime!
response #5 by
otherlander:
wait... what?i think somebody drugged my yogurt, because to me, it
looks like i'm seeing a thread on here about nazi sugar packets. WHO PUT LSD IN MY BREYER'S?!?!?
LBN, February 20, 2007:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x2739108 On a thread by demobabe: Buzzflash: Cheney: "We Want to Complete the Mission." Wait, Wasn't it already Accomplished?response #1 by
krispos42:
Nope, the national debt is still only 13 digits long.and 13's an unlucky number. 14 is lucky... 2x7
See?
response #2 by
4MoronicYears:
The dick stated..... "The American people will not accept retreatas an option" or some such blather. Surely the dick should put a sock in it... cuz he makes me want to take my palm and
Apply it directly to my forehead.....Apply it directly to my forehead.....Apply it directly to my forehead.....Apply it directly to my forehead.....Apply it directly to my forehead.....Apply it directly to my forehead.....Apply it directly to my forehead.....Apply it directly to my forehead.....Apply it directly to my forehead.....Apply it directly to my forehead.....Apply it directly to my forehead.....Apply it directly to my forehead.....Apply it directly to my forehead.....Apply it directly to my forehead.....
GD, February 22, 2007:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x265131 On a thread by Swede: KFC asks for papal approval of new fish sandwichresponse #2 by
GoneOffShore:
Vatican Seal of Approval?None authentic without the smiling face of Benedict on the wrapper!
Of course, this sort of thing has been done before, with communion wine and wafers. Get the Vatican Seal of Approval!
I wonder why Durex doesn't ask the Pope for that for their condoms?
:rofl:
response #7 by
anotherdrew:
I know somebody who knows somebody who found a RATzinger in their KFC n/tresponse #9 by
IanDB1:
Pope Ratso Fish Snackers... They're Pope-a-licious! n/tresponse #10 by
TlalocW:
Think I could get the Pope to lend his seal of approval to...My new snack cracker aimed at Catholics called, "Jeez-Its?" Ingredients include enriched flour, sodium, and the body of the lord.
If not the Pope's, I'll settle for Bill Donohue's endorsement.
LBN, February 22, 2007:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x2741048 On a thread by babylonsister: Radical Right Attacks McCain Over Global Warming: ‘Loony,’ ‘Environmental Extremist,’ ‘Popping Off’response #3 by
rurallib:
So much fun to watch these idiots try to please the wing-nutsI'd suggest Johnny Mac kiss Falwell's naked ass in the noonday sun on the front steps of the (whatever) Road Baptist Church on earth day as penance.
Special thanks to babylonsister for the heads-up on this one.:patriot:
GD, February 22, 2007:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3128677 On a thread by radfringe: NAME THAT BUILDING 18 -- contestaccording to the DOD press conference transcript Building 18 needs a name...
response #6 by
TomClash:
Here's a few!Mission Accomplished.
The Cheney Cottage Inn.
The Roach Motel.
The Crawford.
The Decider.
The Disclosed Location.
Vet Hell.
response #13 by
regularguy:
Hot L BethesdaPlenty of other great responses in the thread.Special thanks to babylonsister for the heads-up on this one.:patriot:
GD, February 22, 2007:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x265476 OP by marmar: On a lighter note, what would be good theme songs for the Presidential candidates?Here's my list:
Hillary Clinton - "Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves" by Aretha Franklin and Annie Lennox
Barack Obama - "Fear of a Black Planet" by Public Enemy
John Edwards - "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" by John Denver
Dennis Kucinich - "Raising Hell" by Run DMC
Chris Dodd - "Ghost of a Chance" by many artists
Joe Biden - "Words Get in the Way" by Gloria Estefan
Mike Gravel - "Nobody Knows Me" by Madonna
Tom Vilsack - "Mr. Brightside" by the Killers
Bill Richardson - "Don't You Forget About Me" by Simple Minds
Rudy Guiliani - "This Ain't a Scene, It's a Dead Horse Race" by Fall Out Boy
John McCain - "I'm Not the Man I Used to Be" by the Fine Young Cannibals
Mitt Romney - "A Brand New Me" by Aretha Franklin
Sam Brownback - "Onward Christian Soldiers"
Tom Tancredo - "White Riot" by the Clash
Newt Gingrich - "Liar" by Henry Rollins
GD, February 22, 2007:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x264603