Ann Coulter Kills at Her Father's Funeral

[marmar]

from HuffPost:


Chris Kelly
Ann Coulter Kills at Her Father's Funeral
Posted January 11, 2008 | 03:05 PM (EST)


Ann Coulter's father John died last week, and this week she honored his memory with a column containing not one, but two Ted Kennedy jokes. I know I'd be proud.

Hahaha! Ted Kennedy! Back me up, mourners! I know you're out there - I can hear you breathing! Unlike dad! That lady in the shroud... she knows what I'm talking about!

Such is a daughter's grief. Think of her, then, as Ophelia with her violetless garlands, crossed with a real fucking hack.

But where's the Hillary material? Come on. It's right in front of you, Ann -- dad's dead... Hillary cries... you do the math.

Clearly, Ann's not at the top of her game. So I've taken the liberty of going through the eulogy -- cutting the Kennedy material -- and punching up the rest.

--

The longest baby ever born at the Albany, N.Y., hospital, at least as of May 5, 1926, who grew up to be my strapping father, passed away last Friday morning.

And by "strapping" I mean, "he beat me with a strap."

As Mother and I stood at Daddy's casket Monday morning, Mother repeated his joke to him, which he said on every wedding anniversary until a few years ago when Lewy bodies dementia prevented him from saying much at all: "54 years, married to the wrong woman." And we laughed.

Because he was dead.

John Vincent Coulter was of the old school, a man of few words, the un-Oprah, no crying or wearing your heart on your sleeve, and reacting to moments of great sentiment with a joke. Or as we used to call them:

Assholes.

Men.

When he was moping around the house once, missing my brother who had just gone back to college, he said, "Well, if you had cancer long enough, you'd miss it."

Unlike Lewy bodies dementia, apparently.

...(snip)...

Your parents are your whole world when you are a child.

[ProgressiveFool]

1. OMG, I know it's not PC or whatever, but

that line about the skirt and the balls is too too funny!!!!

[Didereaux]

2. and from an insect you expect?.....pic

[DS1]

3. uh oh

you called her a transvestite.

[marmar]

4. I didn't call her anything.....I posted a HuffPost column.

n/t

[shain from kane]

5. "...your standard of normality." It ain't no duck. Definitely an odd duck.

[aquart]

6. Wow. That man never missed a chance to belittle.

And Ann grew up thinking those passive aggressive spitballs were JOKES?

"54 years married to the wrong woman" was a JOKE? On a wedding anniversary?

And she's still trying to win his unobtainable approval by being just like him?

I never felt sad for her before. But I do now.

[Z_I_Peevey]

11. Oh my, thanks for posting that.

I thought I was the only one. Poor Ann, indeed.

[xchrom]

7. you disappointed your father in life -- anne -- you disappoint him in death.

[UTUSN]

8. The COULTERgeist family read Anna KARENINA?!1 And his FBI "career" was 9 yrs long?!1

Sounds more like a Labor-Ready job.

[Babel_17]

9. Hmmm (Phelps Dodge)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phelps_Dodge_Corporation

During the late 19th century, in concert with its metal interests, Phelps Dodge Corporation became one of the largest producers of lumber and lumber products in the United States. It also became notorious of its anti-union views, primarily for its kidnapping of nearly 1,300 striking miners and the seize of the telegraph and telephone lines in the town of Bisbee, Arizona, during the Bisbee Deportation in 1917.

Researchers at the University of Massachusetts Amherst have identified Phelps Dodge as the 23rd-largest corporate producer of air pollution in the United States, with roughly 3.64 million pounds of toxins released annually into the air. Major pollutants included sulfuric acid, chromium compounds, lead compounds, and chlorine.<2><3> The Center for Public Integrity has reported that Phelps Dodge is named as a potentially responsible party in at least 13 Superfund toxic waste sites.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arizona_Copper_Mine_Strike_of_1983

The subsequent negotiations with the unions failed to lead to an agreement, and on midnight of July 30 a strike began, including workers from Morenci, Ajo, Clifton, and Douglas, Arizona. Thousands of miners walked out and a picket line was formed at the Morenci Mine. The next day, Phelps Dodge increased security personnel in and around the mine. Within days miners were subject to unlawful arrests, firings, evictions, and undercover surveillance by the Arizona Criminal Intelligence Systems Agency<3>. At the beginning of August, Phelps Dodge announced that they would be hiring permanent replacement workers (scabs) for the Morenci Mine. The company took out large employment ads for new workers in the Tucson and Phoenix newspapers. Meanwhile, the local government passed injunctions limiting both picketing and demonstrations at the mine.

On Monday, August 8, approximately 1,000 strikers and their supporters gathered at the gate to the mine in response. Phelps Dodge stopped production and, later that day, Arizona Governor Bruce Babbitt flew in to meet with the company. Phelps Dodge agreed to a 10-day moratorium on hiring replacement workers, and it was decided that a federal mediator would be called in for negotiations.

On the morning of August 19, military vehicles, tanks, helicopters, 426 state troopers and 325 National Guard members arrived in Clifton and Morenci as part of "Operation Copper Nugget" to break the strike. Strikers at the gate were unable to prevent the replacement workers from entering the mine. Eight days later, 10 strikers were arrested in Ajo and charged with rioting. From this point on, the strike lost much of its momentum.

After a series of confrontations and controversies, the strike officially ended on February 19, 1986, when the National Labor Relations Board rejected appeals from the unions attempting to halt decertification.

[TheCowsCameHome]

10. She should've jumped in the box with him............