Incredibly sad. Woman tries to leave infant at library

[Horse with no Name]

I am not entirely sure how I feel about this. The woman tried to leave the baby "because she couldn't take care of it".
CPS intervened and are trying to keep them a "family".
The woman lives in a shelter. It couldn't have been easy to make the decision to give the baby up...now, if she can't make it (and the odds are against her), she will have to make the decision all over again. If she wants to keep the child, of course it is a different issue, but I didn't walk away from this story with that feeling.

>>>snip
A homeless woman told Dallas police Monday night that she wanted to give up her 4-month-old son because it would be best for him. But Child Protective Services was working Tuesday to keep the family together.

The woman told police at the J. Erik Jonsson Central Library in downtown that she wasn’t able to support the baby and couldn’t take care of him, a police report said. The woman said she was from Oregon and had been in Dallas for about five months. She said she was living at the Salvation Army.
>>>snip
The baby showed no signs of physical abuse, said Marissa Gonzales, a spokeswoman with the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services.

The agency plans to try to offer the mother assistance to help her raise her son, Ms. Gonzales said. If the mother still feels she can’t raise the child, he would likely be put up for adoption.

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/010908dnmetbaby.2636142.html

[beyurslf]

1. CPS should help keep them together. That doesn't mean they should work for years and years

to get them together. In the process, the baby would grow up in foster care. But a homeless woman who was so down and out that she left her baby somewhere to be found is in no condition to make a life changing decision like this. They should get her help and show her resources where she can go...sometimes people need to be shown how to parent and learn that they can be good parents.

[Horse with no Name]

4. Let me tell you something about Dallas County

She will NOT receive the resources she needs. They are overburdened, over budget and CPS is overworked.
IN the world I WOULD like to live (which is why I support Edwards), there would be money for housing, medical care, education, and food for this mother and her baby. However, the world I actually live in does not have the money for those things.
I fear this child could end up neglected, abused or abandoned and seriously endangered.
We really should listen to people when they talk.
She said she couldn't take care of this baby. She didn't ask for help, she asked to give the baby up for adoption.

[beyurslf]

8. I work in foster care in Kansas. I have adopted a teen boy and I am a foster parent for teen boys.

I have a young man who just turned 18 in my home who has been in "the system" since he was 3. My son was also raised in the system from age 8 until I adopted him at 15. No child should ever be raised in the system. Judges and attorneys and caseworkers (myself included) are parents or family to these kids. I don't know how it works there. I would hope resources are available to help her find housing and teach her how to parent. I would never want a baby to languish in the system though while a parent tries to figure it out.

I can also say that even babies and young children who are adopted can often have questions about why their parents gave them up. I have 2 cousins who are adopted who both did their own soul searching regarding their feelings for their birth parents.

[Horse with no Name]

12. But the child is already in the system

Here is a parent that is willing to terminate her rights to a 4-month old infant. That is a desirable age for adoption.
Theoretically that child could be in and out of the system before it had a chance to know it was ever in it.
I just believe that it is patronizing to believe that this woman did not know what she wanted to do.

[beyurslf]

15. If the system does nothing to help her, what does the system do 12 months from now

when she has another baby? In 3 years when she has a 3rd baby, what then? Ten years form now when she comes in with baby numnber 7, do we still turn our back? I see this time and time again.

I just got the referral for baby #3 from a mom who won't change. We have tried to work with and we will try again. She is 26 yo. I don't want to be taking her kids and putting them up adoption until I retire.

As for being adoptable--my son was "unadoptable" until I came along. Every child can be adopted, it just isn't always easy. The sad truth is, most people don't want to adopt kids from foster care--even if they are babies.

[Horse with no Name]

16. Those are theoreticals

Right now it is one infant that she said she could not take care of.
I'm not going to pretend to know this woman's situation because I don't.
However, I am going to give her credit for knowing what she wants to do.
I applaud what you do. The system cannot work without people that function in your capacity.
I've been on the front lines in Dallas. I've seen the products of the neglected, abused, abandoned kids which is WHY I know the severe limitations of the Dallas County CPS.
This child and the mother will get lost in the system.
I fear the outcome of this for the child and his mother.

[beyurslf]

18. I would fear too. I know what happens to those budgets and those workers

and easy it is to get "lost" in the system. It is impossible to sit here and know just what they should do. But, in any random case like this, I would always think that the authorities would want to help the mother and child.

[Canuckistanian]

2. Um, adoption isn't some horrible fate - why is everyone avoiding it?

I think that forcing families "to stay together" are the root of many, many problems in society.

Sh obviously didn't have the mothering abilities, the money or the inclination to take care of an infant. Why force it on her?

And I speak as an adopted child myself. God knows how I would have turned out if I were raised the son of a poor, frightened young woman who really didn't expect, need or want me.

[Horse with no Name]

14. Exactly.

:hug:

[Book Lover]

3. If she had done this just 60 days earlier,

she and her child would be operating under the "Baby Moses" laws. Seems clear to me that "safe surrender" is this woman's intention; why not let her?

[Horse with no Name]

5. I agree.

This woman and her baby will end up lost in the system. The next time she abandons the child it very well may be in a dumpster.

[Sal Minella]

13. In my mind, trying to find a decent home for the child is not the same as abandoning it.

[Horse with no Name]

17. Legally it is abandonment.

It is a harsh term, I agree.

[Elspeth]

6. If she was homeless, she might have been raped and the child might be the product

The rapes of homeless women are the big unreported crime.

http://new.vawnet.org/category/Main_Doc.php?docid=558

[Hoof Hearted]

7. Give him to ME. We would love to adopt a child.

He would have a stable home where he was cherished, nurtured, and very, very, loved.

[beyurslf]

9. 10's of 1000's of children are waiting for adoption out of foster care. Check out this site for

resources in your state.

<http://www.adopting.org/adoptions/adoption-resources-by-state.html>

if that doesn't work, PM me and I can find the agency or agencies that you can contact in your state.

[Elspeth]

10. If you're serious, you might start by contacting the Dallas PD

http://www.dallaspolice.net/

214-744-4444

[shireen]

19. good luck, we need more people like you

I can't do it ... I could not cope with a child at this stage of my life. But I find other ways to support the people in our society who need our help. The problems out there are overwhelmingly heart-breaking.

:hug:

[JerseygirlCT]

11. Any way around it, this is a horribly sad story.

I hope she gets all the help she needs -- not just of the counseling variety, but also a job, a place to live, childcare assistance, skills training... whatever it takes. And if, offered all that, she still feels she shouldn't raise him, then I'm sure there are many, many potential parents who would be thrilled with the opportunity to do so.