Secret Santa lives on

[proud2BlibKansan]

As some of you may remember, Kansas City has had a Secret Santa for many years now. He traveled all over the city at Christmas handing out hundred dollar bills. Secret Santa died earlier this year and a group of people took up his work and we had Secret Santa again this year at Christmas.

The local media gave it lots of coverage. The paper printed a picture of a recipient. It was a nice picture but the lady was smoking a cigarette. And the local blogs exploded. Here is an example:

http://www.kansascity.com/309/story/412497.html

Regarding the woman who is accepting money from Secret Santa in front of the thrift store whose four children are in a shelter and who is holding a cigarette in her left hand: I hope the money from the Secret Santa helps her maintain her habit while her four kids are in a shelter (12/19, Local, “Needy moms made merry”).

Jerry Friedl

Shawnee
I don’t feel Secret Santas should give handouts to people smoking cigarettes. Apparently they have money to burn.

Todd Miller

Independence


No I am not trying to start a smoking thread. My reason for posting this is to discuss why we are so ready to criticize the poor yet who is criticizing the wealthy who are not supporting the poor or charitable causes? How much of the bonus money handed out on Wall Street is being donated to homeless shelters or food banks or any other charitable cause aimed at REDUCING poverty?

Why is it okay to criticize this poor woman for smoking yet say nothing about the income gap in this country that keeps on widening?

Sure she shouldn't smoke but I see no reason to deny her a little joy and comfort in what is surely a very difficult life. I can also imagine that quitting smoking is probably pretty difficult for her, considering the troubles she faces daily.

So will the day ever come when we don't need to depend on secret Santas to give our poor a boost at Christmas?

[Tansy_Gold]

1. A gift is a gift is a gift

A gift comes with no strings. It's not a payment for services rendered, it's not the price of something returned in exchange, it's not a bribe for future "good" behavior. It's a gift, free and clear.

Yes, I wish the woman weren't smoking. I wish those who spend their gifts on a few bottles of cheap wine were wiser in their habits. I wish a lot of things.

But a gift is just that -- a gift. The recipient is now the "owner" of that gift and may do with it as she or he sees fit.

Some acquaintances were discussing the old issue of "putting Christ back in Christmas" a few days ago, and they swung into the rut of "non-Christians who don't celebrate Christmas should just get over it when other people wish them 'Merry Christmas.' This is our holiday and our Savior." As an atheist, I usually stay far away from these discussions, but I'd had a couple glasses of wine and shed a few inhibitions. "Whaddya mean, 'your' Savior? I thought Jesus came for everyone, saint and sinner alike? Or is he such a stingy savior that he only grants his favors, his grace, his forgiveness to the 'right' people, and takes it away from those who don't measure up? Maybe it's not Jesus who withholds forgiveness and grace but rather some holier-than-thou misguided mortals who want to keep all the goodies for themselves and folks just like them. Somehow or other, I don't think Jesus would have done that."

If Jesus only gave forgiveness to those who deserved it, he wouldn't be giving much out, would he, since only saints deserve it but they don't need it.

Tansy Gold, who thinks Todd Miller and Jerry Friedl are probably self-righteous hypocrites

[proud2BlibKansan]

10. Yes I thought Jesus came for everyone too

You make a great point.

[iamjoy]

2. Maybe Santa Should Have Given Her Nicorette

smoking is a terribly hard habit to break.

the uneducated and poor are more vulnerable to the predatory marketing of big tobacco.

It's like the way the poor in this country are sometimes obese. You think poverty = starvation. In reality, food that is cheap, easy and satifying is also fattening and unhealthy.

Judging them for bad habits is easier than helping them learn a better wa.

[wellstone dem]

3. And the stress of being poor only makes

it more difficult to quit.

[sandnsea]

4. Lentils

The poor deserve nothing but lentils. I learned that at DU.

[wellstone dem]

5. A story a co-worker tells about how quick we are to judge the poor

A friend of mine was standing in line in a grocery store. This was a few years ago, as the woman ahead of her was not using and EBT card, but was using food stamps. My friend waited patiently as the clerk finished scanning the groceries. But then one of the two women behind my friend said loudly, "It must be nice to have food stamps to help you buy ice cream bars."

While my friend tried to think of what to say, the woman buying the ice cream bars (and other groceries) turned around and said. "Yes, it's great having food stamps to use to buy ice cream bars. And tonight, when your kids are out at the foot ball game or roller skating with their friends, you think about my kids who can't afford to go to something like that. And tomorrow, when your kids are at the movies, you think about how great it is to have food stamps to buy ice cream bars, because my kids will be at home, because we can't afford to go to movies. And on Sunday when you are out shopping, or having brunch, you think about those ice cream bars. Because on Sunday we are going to eat them, it is the treat we will look forward to all weekend, and you think how great it is to have food stamps to buy ice creams bars. And I want you to know I am grateful for these food stamps so that I can give my children at least that treat." And the woman left.

You know it's funny, I should lose a few pounds. But no one has ever felt the need to suggest that I should not buy Doritos or ice cream. It is only the poor that we judge so harshly that we feel free to say out lout our judgments.

[me b zola]

6. Thank you for posting that

"It is only the poor that we judge so harshly that we feel free to say out lout our judgments."

[iamjoy]

7. I See Both Sides

There are working poor who don't qualify for or won't take public assistance. And they can't afford to buy steaks or ice cream bars or other treats. So, when they see some one using food stamps to purchase luxury food items, I understand how it can annoy them.

On the other hand - those of us fortunate enough to have never worried about getting enough to eat know we don't just eat to live - eating is something most of us enjoy for the flavors and tastes. So, why shouldn't a poor person have that simple pleasure too? Especially since that may be the only "luxury" they have.

I think it's a balance. If I saw a poor person stocking up on junk food, I'd probably be like hell, I don't like wasting my tax dollars to keep them fat and malnourished. But, if the grocery cart included a variety of foods, I wouldn't begrudge a few indlugences.

[proud2BlibKansan]

12. And I think they should be able to spend that money on whatever they want

For many years I never gave homeless people money on the street. I drive by them every day and I have seen them many many times take that money they collect and go straight into the liquor store with it. Then one day about a year ago, I was with a friend of mine who is a minister and he gave a homeless person some money. I told him why I didn't do that and he said "Yes I understand, but who am I to deny him a little joy in a very sad life."

I had never thought of it that way before. Now I give them money and think of it as giving them a little joy in a very sad life. And it really feels right.

So if they want to buy junk food, let them. Maybe we should find out if our govt agencies that hand out food stamps offer nutrition classes to the recipients.

[sandnsea]

14. The poor would never do that to another

So you can just wipe that idea right out of your head. The poor are happy that those kids have something to lift their spirits, delighted. I take it you're not poor, and you're also happy to do the judging. You're never going to see a poor person with a cart full of nothing but junk food, so why do you indulge in such cynicism.

[knitter4democracy]

9. I'm so glad she defended herself.

No one had any right judging her. Being poor is hard enough without having everyone judging every single purchase and decision.

[proud2BlibKansan]

11. Yes thank you

This is precisely my point. Why are we so quick to judge the poor?

[wain]

8. Beats lighting a $20 cigar with a hundred dollar bill

Don't you just know there will be some Wall Streeter burning off some of his/her million dollar bonus while enjoying a $250 snifter of cognac. Homeless or wealthy, it's their money to do with what they want. For that homeless lady, it's an extra $100 that she can use to get gifts for her children. She's going to smoke anyway. And who's to say that given the tough times for Mom, maybe she's made the tough decision to grant her kids a better shot at life than she can give? I think people are judgmental in their smug way to feel better than someone else. Those that feel good about themselves don't need an other's misfortune to get that superior feeling.

[proud2BlibKansan]

13. Feeling good about yourself should come from being proud of what you have done

and not from knowing you are better off than someone else.