The I-35 Religious Movement - Did God prophesy an International House of Pancakes for Denton, TX?

[derby378]

For those of you unfamiliar with the I-35 religious movement, a short primer:

http://www.alrcnewskitchen.com/eblast/others/070920_lightthehighway.htm

And now, from that "Light the Highway" website, an excerpt of what is supposed to be a prophecy from God, received by Sam Brassfield:

He said turn now and look at Dallas. I 35 – Isaiah 35 – Highway of Holiness but there‘s more to it. I turned to Dallas and He said, it splits here and Highway 35 goes west & east and makes a circle. Cindy remember in 2004, The Year of The Open Door and I told you it was going to happen. And here the Word of the Lord came by Lou Engle’s as he came here before The Call in the Cotton Bowl. And he charged the group here to go on a 40 day corporate fast and stopped it days before The Call in the Cotton Bowl. He said, son everything in the perimeter of this I 35 is the epicenter of My revival. And He said, I took a Cotton Bowl and made it a harp and bowl.

He said there was 40 days of fasting & prayer there and Cindy came along and another 40 days. Remember Moses went for 40 days of prayer and fasting – came down and went back up. 80 days – that’s a double, double anointing that’s going to come on this revival. So there has been 80 days of prayer and fasting in Dallas, Texas for this move.

Here tonight I knew I had heard from God because he said I’m taking Stephen Hill and Chuck Pierce because on a hill called Calvary I was pierced. He said, I am joining these together to produce a school – joining together a stream of the evangelism and prophetic. And these two streams will create a river that will flow – the prophetic evangelism of signs, wonders and miracles. I am raising up a school of prophets in this house and city that will take the nations of the nations of the world.

Then He said, I am going to I 35 to Denton – I am going to make a dent in Denton – and I am going to pierce Denton with Chuck Pierce. There will be Glory in Zion! I will have a IHOP in Denton, Texas. Then I am going to hop to Oklahoma City – hop to Oklahoma City there John Benifiel will be benefited and be filled. (Emphasis mine)

Students of prophecy, it's your turn! Did God proclaim to Brassfield that he would have an International House of Pancakes in Denton, Texas?

[shadowknows69]

1. Well really, is there any food more divine than the pancake?

[InternalDialogue]

2. Angel food cake, of course.

[madeline_con]

3. Naturally. n/t

[madeline_con]

4. (totally off topic)

Have you written any Taxicab stuff lately, and do you have links?

I love the series!

[shadowknows69]

8. I sent you a PM

[madeline_con]

27. got it! Thanks. :) n/t

[derby378]

5. I think you're on to something...

The ideal shape of a pancake is a circle, after all, and the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter is pi. And pi is what we mere mortals call an irrational number - a number without end, thus revealing the infinity of God.

So God likes pancakes because the ideal pancake represents pi. So therefore, God likes pi. And probably pie, too.

[Ikonoklast]

9. Blasphemer!

As all truly devout and faithful members of The First Church Of The Most Holy Waffle can tell you, worshipers of the pancake are practicing idolatry and are in schism with the One True Faith.


All practicing Wafflers will partake of the sacrament at a prayer breakfast and beseech the Almighty Waffle to burn your false god the pancake, make them tough and rubbery, to make you see the error of your heretical ways.







You heathen.

[shadowknows69]

11. I always thought pancakes were part of the Holy Trinity, you know...

The Pancake, The Waffle and the Holy Syrup.

[Happyhippychick]

13. In our house it is The Pancake, The Bacon and The Holy Syrup.

[shadowknows69]

14. Oh, you're with THAT denomination

Sinner.B-)

[Happyhippychick]

26. Forgive me for I have sinned. I'll say three "Hail Hashbrowns" now.

[Ikonoklast]

17. There is only one Waffle, infidel.

You batter not enrage His Latticed Holiness.

It is far butter for you to kneel and confess your pancake apostasy, than slide further into other cults.

Panbread will be next for you, if you don't recant.

[Z_I_Peevey]

19. That's all a load of crepe.

You wouldn't know divine revelation if it hit you upside the head with a cast-iron griddle.

[Kucinich4America]

22. There is only one true waffle

If thy waffle is not from Belgium, thou art from the heretic waffle irons of Hell!

[Lint Head]

6. Ya ba heebee danna flugleglib hanawann neeeb danga wamp

sekacnap. Whew! The spirit over took my hands and I started typing uncontrollably in the unknown tongue. The Bible Code says the last word is pancake spelled backward, so it must be true. :dem:

[Leopolds Ghost]

7. Sounds like an Evangelical version of Situationism. A Derive? Will they practice Prayer Parkour?

Radical is right. Too bad they can't expend their consciousness
while expanding their definition of holiness.

Is everything sacred? Yes and no. The built environment can be
considered sacred as a thing-in-itself, I-35, but such awareness
cannot be actualized in the fashion it is presently used. Not as
an imposition on the landscape that is not allowed to flow into it.
Not as a series of truck stops for fundamentalist American capitalists
divorced from reality and consumed with getting from here to there.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/situationism

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/derive

Will they also practice Evangelical Parkour?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/parkour

[ChickMagic]

10. Remember how ticked off the fundies were about the giant freeway?

I suspect this is aimed at getting them on board with it. Not that I'm cynical or anything, you understand. :P

[Leopolds Ghost]

12. There shall, in that time, be rumours of things going astray, erm, and... lose his friend's hammer

Scene 14: Harry the haggler

BLOOD & THUNDER PROPHET: ...And the bezan shall be huge and black, and the eyes thereof red with the blood of living creatures, and the whore of Babylon shall ride forth on a three-headed serpent, and throughout the lands, there'll be a great rubbing of parts. Yeeah...

FALSE PROPHET: ...For the demon shall bear a nine-bladed sword. Nine-bladed! Not two or five or seven, but nine, which he will wield on all wretched sinners, sinners just like you, sir, there, and the horns shall be on the head, with which he will...

BORING PROPHET: ...Obadiah, his servants. There shall, in that time, be rumours of things going astray, erm, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things wi-- with the sort of raffia work base that has an attachment. At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock.

Scene 16: Brian the prophet

BORING PROPHET: ...The nephew or the donkey. (whap)

Wha! Woooah!

(fwump)

(clap clap clap)

FALSE PROPHET: ...And, a nine-bladed sword, which he shall strike...

BLOOD & THUNDER PROPHET: ...Time when we all come together, and go...

PROPHET IN WHITE: ...And holes for the...

PROPHET IN BLACK: ...Jumbo jets...

PROPHET IN WHITE: ...every bitch how you got germs from...

PROPHET IN BLACK: ...fly up near the...

BRIAN: Don't you, eh, pass judgment on other people, or you might get judged yourself.

COLIN: What?

BRIAN: I said, 'Don't pass judgment on other people, or else you might get judged, too.'

COLIN: Who, me?

BRIAN: Yes.

COLIN: Oh. Ooh. Thank you very much.

BRIAN: Well, not just you. All of you.

DENNIS: How much do you want for the gourd?

BRIAN: I don't. You can have it.

DENNIS: Have it?

BRIAN: Yes. Consider the lilies...

DENNIS: Eh, d-- d-- don't you want to haggle?

BRIAN: No. ...in the field.

DENNIS: What's wrong with it, then?

ELSIE: Consider the lilies?

BRIAN: Uh, well, the birds, then.

EDDIE: What birds?

BRIAN: Any birds.

EDDIE: Why?

BRIAN: Well, have they got jobs?

ARTHUR: Who?

BRIAN: The birds.

EDDIE: Have the birds got jobs?!

FRANK: What's the matter with him?

ARTHUR: He says the birds are scrounging.

BRIAN: Oh, uhh, no, the point is the birds. They do all right. Don't they?

FRANK: Well, good luck to 'em.

EDDIE: Yeah. They're very pretty.

BRIAN: Okay, and you're much more important than they are, right? So, what are you worrying about? There you are. See?

EDDIE: I'm worrying about what you have got against birds.

BRIAN: I haven't got anything against the birds. Consider the lilies.

ARTHUR: He's having a go at the flowers now.

EDDIE: Oh, give the flowers a chance.

BRIAN: Ohh. Look. There was this man, and he had two servants.

ARTHUR: What were they called?

BRIAN: What?

ARTHUR: What were their names?

BRIAN: I don't know. And he gave them some talents.

EDDIE: You don't know?!

BRIAN: Well, it doesn't matter!

ARTHUR: He doesn't know what they were called!

BRIAN: Oh, they were called 'Simon' and 'Adrian'. Now--

ARTHUR: Oh! You said you didn't know!

BRIAN: It really doesn't matter. The point is there were these two servants--

ARTHUR: He's making it up as he goes along.

BRIAN: No, I'm not! ...And he gave them some ta-- Wait a minute. Were there three?

ARTHUR: Ohh.

EDDIE: Oh, he's terrible!

ARTHUR: He's terrible.

BRIAN: There were three.

ARTHUR: Thpppt!

BRIAN: They were-- they were st-- stewards, really.

ELSIE: Aww, get off!

BRIAN: Ooh! Eh, uh, b-- b-- now-- now hear this! Blessed are they...

DENNIS: Three.

BRIAN: ...who convert their neighbour's ox, for they shall inhibit their girth,...

MAN: Rubbish!

BRIAN: ...and to them only shall be given-- to them only... shall... be... given...

ELSIE: What?

BRIAN: Hmm?

ELSIE: Shall be given what?

BRIAN: Oh, nothing.

ELSIE: Hey! What were you going to say?

BRIAN: Nothing.

ARTHUR and FRANK: Yes, you were.

ELSIE: Yes. You were going to say something.

BRIAN: No, I wasn't. I'd finished.

ELSIE: Oh, no you weren't.

ARTHUR: Oh, come on. Tell us before you go.

BRIAN: I wasn't going to say anything. I'd finished.

ELSIE: No, you hadn't.

BLIND MAN: What won't he tell?

EDDIE: He won't say.

BLIND MAN: Is it a secret?

BRIAN: No.

BLIND MAN: Is it?

EDDIE: Must be. Otherwise, he'd tell us.

ARTHUR: Oh, tell us the secret.

BRIAN: Leave me alone.

YOUTH: What is this secret?

GIRL: Is it the secret of eternal life?

EDDIE: He won't say!

ARTHUR: Well, of course not. If I knew the secret of eternal life, I wouldn't say.

YOUTH: No.

BRIAN: Leave me alone.

GIRL: Just tell me, please.

ARTHUR: No. Tell us, Master. We were here first.

[dbackjon]

15. The Site appears to have been vandalized

Several pages have the following:

Satan rules

666


repeated on down the page.

Other pages have:

here is my message:

christians have officially slumped to an all new level of stupidity, so i guess, thats where i put my maturity to be at equal levels with you on scales. wait... no... i think you guys are a little lower than this on the stupidity scale...


in another sense, however, i fee bad for you all! you actually are spiritually desparate enough for a sign of god that you would worship I-35, because isaiah 35 talks about a holy highway? well... i'm really sorry if this is how you need to find yourself. sorry guys, but theres just not a god! simple as that! he doesnt exist! NOW FREE YOURSELVES, DEPRIVED HOMOSEXUALS!

[Bitwit1234]

16. Move to Minnesota they say after that you go to Heaven

bunch of damn nuts, did you see them on TV.

[wellst0nev0ter]

18. What? Keep Those Loons Out

Sheesh, this is why I never go south on 35. Whenever I do go south on either 35E or 35W, I always get off before the Burnsville split and take another route, lest I catch whatever has gotten into the Texans.

[Uben]

20. Denton,Tx has had an IHOP for 40 yrs!

I have eaten there numerous times. I shoulda looked to see if I could see any images on the pancakes and waffles! Damn!

[Subdivisions]

21. Uben there and Iben there too! n/t

[conscious evolution]

23. Do not anger FSM with such Blasphemy

Or He will drown your pancakes in marinara AND alfredo.

[bmbmd]

24. Sorry to rain on your parade-

It stands for "International House of Prayer".


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_House_of_Prayer

[Elidor]

25. A lot of the replies in this thread need DUzys

It delivers.

[blogslut]

28. I prefer Waffle House

Their coffee is heavenly.

But seriously, if there were such a road, it most certainly would not be in North America. These cretins are so self-absorbed.