Still Undecided? - Maybe this will help

[lame54]

Michael Moore has a great way to pick a candidate
We should use it each election
http://youtube.com/watch?v=l2JHzj2j5Jw

[skipos]

1. MM isn't my end all be all, but I agreed with his endorsement of Clark in 04

That clip is funny.

[rucky]

2. Alan Keyes for President?!

against my better judgment, I'm going to have to go with Moore's scientific system.

Odd how Keyes and Hatch were the least assholey of the bunch.

And Bush was by far the biggest.

[tomreedtoon]

3. How old is this video? Was it from "TV America" or something?

It was from the 2000 election, I think. Way too out of date.

Lewis Black's ideas are better. Besides the one about re-electing Ronald Reagan and propping his open coffin on the Capitol steps (which is pretty close to what the Republican candidates want to do) he has a better one.

The winner of American Idol sticks a pin in a map. An airplane flies over that part of America where the pin landed. They parachute a monkey and a camera crew (separate parachutes, of course) over that spot. The camera crew follows the monkey after he lands and watches him walk around. Whoever's hand the monkey first touches - that's our next President.

[lame54]

4. Imagine if Gore was the one who jumped in the pit

[tomreedtoon]

5. He'd be stabbed to death, like any other normal human.

Remember, all the kids in mosh pits (yes, ALL of them, in real mosh pits, not the phony one Moore would use) are on crystal meth. They are immune to pain. That's why being stabbed or even shot doesn't stop them; like people in police videos who are high on meth, they can receive lethal wounds but still keep moving on their excessive adrenalin.

Gore would receive lethal wounds within fifteen seconds in a mosh pit.

But with all the drugs Bush and Rush Limbaugh are on, they'd still be moving fifteen minutes later. (In fact, Limbaugh would probably crush anyone he jumped on.)