Dear friends it is time I told you this is my Christmas Eve, I could use an opinion

[Omaha Steve]

Along time ago before I met and married Marta, I had a relationship with another teenager. From that relationship an unmarried couple produced a child. Because of our very young age and circumstances, that child was placed in the care of an adoption agency. Always wondering what ever happened. Always knowing it was the right decision for the best of the child. 8-9 months after her birth, her mother and I broke up. Her dad would not allow us to see each other.

A phone call a few weeks ago let me know my daughter was in contact with her birth mother. My oldest daughter's name is Bobbi. She is in town and visiting her birth mom today. I will see her for only the second time in 30+ years tomorrow. I will touch her for the first time ever. My other children have known about her since they were teenagers. I'm nervous. I'm thinking of surprising her with some stupid sentiment. She was born in a Salvation Army Hospital. Because of that, I have never past a Christmas kettle without putting in something, no matter our families circumstances. Is it dumb to throw some change in a kettle with her tomorrow? Wish me luck. I'll be back online sometime Sunday afternoon.

Warmest regards,

OS

[mike_c]

1. best wishes-- I hope it's a wonderful experience for you both....

Now that you've mentioned it here, you must let us know how it goes!

[Blackhatjack]

2. May this be the best Christmas Ever For You and Your Family! n/t

[Sarah Ibarruri]

3. I have a feeling your daughter will be enriched by meeting you

It's normal to be nervous about something like this! Be nervous, but don't let it stop you from meeting her.

As to what to give her... a pic of you as a young 17 yr old, a little poem, a little book.

What a wonderful thing to be able to see your child.

[lynnertic]

54. Yes, pictures, I concur.

Merry Christmas, Good luck to you.

[mikita]

4. I love the sentiment

I think your daughter will too, once she knows the story. Best of love to you both.

[blonndee]

5. Best of luck to you and congratulations!

As an adopted child who only met her biological family at age 20, I can tell you with pretty much certainty that there will be some awkwardness, so no matter what you do it might feel a little weird. But if you can acknowledge that and are both able to get past it, you'll probably be able to laugh at it later. Please understand, though, that your biological daughter may be feeling overwhelmed and may not quite know what to think or how she feels. Hence the awkwardness. I suggest you explain to her the significance of your contributing to the kettles and ask her if she would like to do this thing with you. I bet she'll say yes. Just deal with the "weirdness" and leave the ball in her court, to use an old cliche. Do this, give her your contact information and whatever else you have planned, and leave it. She will get back in touch with you when and if she is ready.

[nightrider767]

6. Touching...

You're a good person. Show her your smile and all the rest will follow.

Enjoy.

Thanks for sharing.

[ellaydubya]

7. Breathe and be yourself and be in the moment

No looking back, no wondering what the future holds, just enjoy the moment for what it is. Relax and be yourself. A very big moment, indeed. I send positive thoughts your way. Let us know how it went.

[pinto]

8. Ah, best of luck Omaha Steve. Follow your heart is really all I can say.

Seems to have done you well before.

Regards,

pinto

[EFerrari]

9. I met my Dad when I was 16. We're really close now.

Go for it, Steve.

:hug:

:grouphug:

[frogmarch]

10. How wonderful!

What a great thing to have happened to you and your daughter! You asked if it would be "dumb" for you to throw some change in a SA kettle together. I think it would be a fine and meaningful thing to do, especially considering the fact your daughter was born in a SA hospital. Some DUers don't like SA, and given the anti-gay stance of the SA, I get that, but I work as a SA volunteer and know they do much good, despite their faults. I'd say go for it, Steve, and I hope you enjoy the time you spend with your daughter. I'm happy for you both. :-)

[readmoreoften]

11. Best of luck Omaha Steve! You're a great guy! I'm sure she'll love you no matter what you do.

Good luck!

[MuseRider]

12. Do it.

It will mean so much to both of you. You made me cry. How difficult that decision must have been but it was apparently the correct decision. I am very happy for you and for her. Have a wonderful time getting to know your oldest child.

[waiting for hope]

13. That's wonderful Steve -

As an adopted child myself, I know this moment is going to be very special. I wish you the warmest wishes. :hug:

[kentuck]

14. Good luck Steve...

Be yourself. You were very young. You are still permitted to love her as your child.

[Evergreen Emerald]

15. You are making me cry.

I will be thinking of you Omaha Steve.

[sellitman]

16. I hope you can build a relationship with her from this time on out.

It would be a great story with a happy ending.

Best of luck!

[ThomCat]

17. Oh, I hope it goes well!

It would be wonderful for you to get along well and keep in touch with your birth daughter! I'll be thinking many good thoughts! :hug:

[NMDemDist2]

18. oh Steve, that's wonderful

Merry Christmas and have a joyful reunion!

[nosmokes]

19. Best wishes for you and your daughter.

[annabanana]

20. Best of Luck, Steve.. I hope it goes very well for both of you.

Be ready for it to be odd, and, if it feels right, let her know you're there for her now, even though you couldn't when you were a child.

[sampsonblk]

21. Good luck!

I am sure everything will work out fine. Looks like perhaps it already has.

[Mz Pip]

22. Best wishes to

the both of you. This is the beginning for you. May it lead to a wonderful future filled with hope and joy for both of you.

Mz Pip
:dem:

[tekisui]

23. Thank you for sharing.

I wish you and your entire family the best.

[Raejeanowl]

24. Just Tell Her About It, Steve

I think that will be enough to let her know her that you thought about her every Christmas. If she suggests it herself, then do it.

You might bring her some photos of her half-siblings, if you think they would be okay with it, or open to the possibility of meeting her someday.

Take a camera with you. And maybe just a small, token gift like a Santa teddy bear or flowers.

The rest will probably take care of itself. Best wishes to you all.

[fed-up]

25. I'm sure you will both be nervous-but it will quickly pass--Enjoy! nt

[Blue_In_AK]

26. OS, this is a wonderful story.

Best of luck to you with the reunion.

[uppityperson]

27. Best wishes to all of you!

[Cha]

28. Wow! You're fortunate

that you at least get to see your daughter after all these years. The best thing is knowing that your children are happy, no matter who raises them in this great cosmic plan of ours.

Not dumb. :)

[Omaha Steve]

29. More info

Wow did my mailbox get active in a hurry. Thanks for all the kind wishes. Bobbi (nick named Roberta) has been in contact with all her family here by phone and email. Photos, stories, etc... She just called to say her flight was delayed, and she is having dinner with her birth mom.

Bobbi will meet Marta and I first tomorrow. Then she will meet my mom and our three children (her younger siblings) at our youngest granddaughter Madison's birthday party. Madison was born on Christmas day 2005, so we will always celebrate her birthday a few weeks early. The date was set BEFORE Bobbie found us. :-)

Sunday morning both sides of her Omaha family extant will be having breakfast together. Our oldest granddaughter will be there. Her nick name is Bobbi. Her real name is Roberta. Coincidence? Then she flies home Sunday afternoon.

Thank you again for all the wishes.

OS

[mod mom]

30. Best of luck to you and yours.

[sandnsea]

31. Have a wonderful visit

I hope it turns out well for all of you. :hug:

[flamingyouth]

32. Wishing you all the best.

What a moving story. :pals:

[lostnfound]

33. Definitely do it.

A glimpse into your heart for the last 30 years is a great gift for you to give her. I think it will be a way to make it concrete and memorable. I hope it goes well.

[InkAddict]

34. I hope your Christmas Eve is filled with new found joy.

Our babies made their appearance in a Salvation Army hospital too, and we still "pitch in." You touched those wondrous memories of long ago and brought a happy tear. Here's hoping those old hurts all melt away, and your holiday season will blaze with hope, peace, and promise. Merry Christmas!

[NI4NI]

35. May you each stay in one another's life

from now on.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, Man!

[emilyg]

36. This is great. Enjoy.

[K Gardner]

37. As an adopted child, I can tell you that she will treasure every moment with you;

she will treasure knowing that you loved her and thought of her throughout these long years, and she will treasure you. So happy that you have found each other. Tell her everything in your heart and enjoy your time together.

[TwilightGardener]

38. Good for you, Steve--you get an extra blessing this year for Christmas!

Best wishes, and hope it goes well for all of you.

[unhappycamper]

39. You'll be nervous, she'll be nervous.

Speak from your heat and all will be OK.

Best of luck, Friend.

[yellowdogintexas]

40. oh how wonderful. for once I am speechless. Merry Christmas to you all nt

[in_cog_ni_to]

41. What a wonderful way to celebrate your holiday! Throw that change in the bucket with her

and tell her what you've told us here....you've never passed a SA bucket without throwing in some money...because of HER. She will find solace in knowing you never forgot about her through all these years. Best of luck to you! :hug:

[OzarkDem]

42. Post some pics when you get back

tell us all about it; I'm sure whatever you do will be fine with her. And don't forget a nice bouquet of flowers, those are always nice, too.

[flvegan]

43. Not dumb at all.

Warmest wishes to you and yours meeting tomorrow. What a great story.

[madokie]

44. shit man you got me all teared up now

one thing you don't need though is luck, luck is when you don't know what to do, you do.

Peace and Happy moments, for that is what dreams are really made of

[Beausoir]

45. As a mom who has adopted 5 children, I wish all the best for a loving and joyous reunion!

I only hope my children will be so lucky someday.

Lots of wonderful wishes heading your way!

[Breeze54]

46. Merry Christmas, Omaha Steve!

Have a wonderful reuniting! I hope all goes well!

[flashl]

47. My Best to you and your family

[Omaha Steve]

48. 4 P.M. Central time

That is when I will be meeting Bobbi. I can't say how much all the kind words have helped me. I'm not so nervous now. :-)

OS

[glowing]

49. Good luck... I wish you well... And I'm glad you get to know a peice of

you even though it took 30 years and other people who were able to raise a child when you were not.

[NC_Nurse]

50. I'm sending my (((good vibes))) for your meeting.

I hope it is wonderful. I bet it will be. :hug:

[Flying Dream Blues]

51. I'm so glad you have found each other after all these years.

I'm very happy for you and hope to hear more about your reunion with Bobbi...and no, I for one don't think it's a coincidence that you have a granddaughter named Bobbi at all! :)
:hi:

[otherlander]

52. I think that's a wonderful idea.

Have a great time, and afterwards, you have to tell us how it went. Merry Christmas!
:hi:

[tammywammy]

53. Good Luck Omaha Steve

And Merry Christmas.

[Eurobabe]

55. Best of Luck Omaha Steve

You've got a big heart, I'll never forget the pictures you sent to me of the kittens that were rescued. :hug:

Let us know how your visit was with your daughter. Should be life altering. :hi:

Best of luck!!

[Bozita]

56. Here's hoping everyone comes away from this with good, warm feelings toward each other

[DFW]

57. This should change your life, alright

And I'm betting for the better.

As for the apprehension before hand, man if you ain't nervous, you ain't human!

But it'll be cool, don't you worry none!

[saracat]

58. Best of luck Steve. You are wonderful! I am sure she will enjoy meeting you!

[Libby2]

59. Wonderful!! Good luck!

I'm all teary eyed now.

[GreenPartyVoter]

60. Good luck!

[elehhhhna]

61. UPDATE, Please?

[Raine]

62. Wishing you all the best

you'll be in my thoughts. :hug:

[DCKit]

63. My 19 year old niece is knocked up....

Her parents have decided against a family adoption and, despite all our other differences, we're lost in trying to argue the point.

I don't know if the child will be born "off white" or some other heresy according to my sister's church, but blood is blood in my book, and this kid belongs with family.

What can I do?

[ulysses]

66. what does your niece want?

[eleny]

64. All the best

I hope you had a wonderful time together.

[Virginia Dare]

65. Hey Steve..

no advise to give you, just thinking about you, and I think everything is going to be okay now, good luck!...:hug:

[ulysses]

67. hope it went well!

Looking forward to the update...

[Blue Diadem]

68. Thinking about you this morning &

hoping you and Bobbi had a wonderful day.