How about a Garden of Eden theme park in Missouri?

[Cyrano]

I’ve heard that (some? – all?) Mormons believe that the Garden of Eden was in Missouri, (check it out on Google), which makes this a perfect opportunity for some entrepreneur to open a theme park. Many people will attend whether or not they are Mormons. (After all, you don’t have to be a big-eared mouse to go to Disney World.)

Since there were no clothes in the Garden, everyone will have to check their attire at the entrance. This will make the fig leaf concession a gold mine.

Apples from the tree of knowledge will go for $20 a pop, but it goes without saying that fundies will condemn knowledge as the root of all evil. It also goes without saying that casting someone who can fit into the serpent costume will be extremely difficult.

Once an hour there will be a “Who Can Bash Abel Over The Head Harder?” contest. The winner gets to go to the east side of the park called Nod and “know” Cain’s wife.

The rest of the park’s attractions will be strolling around, eating fruit and screwing.

However, please let’s hear your suggestions for concessions that will fill the park with a bit more variety. (The "real" Eden must have been a pretty boring place before Eve bit into that apple.)

[meegbear]

1. Can one go there stark raving nude like Adam and Eve?

[Cyrano]

3. Read the second paragraph. You've got to check your clothes at the entrance.

[meegbear]

4. I wanna be stark raving NUDE!

Fig leaves be damned!

[Cyrano]

6. All fig leaves are custom tailored, but they are optional.

[evlbstrd]

2. Great idea.

Just put it in Branson so I can avoid it along with everything else down there.

[AlCzervik]

5. seconded.

[proud2BlibKansan]

7. LOL beat me to it

GMTA! :hi:

[KansDem]

8. How about Worlds of Fun in Kansas City?

It's kinda like a Garden of Eden, if your idea of a G.O.E. is something like a carny...

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

13. Snort!

What, you don't like Highway 76, the Moon River Theater, Yakov, and the rest?

(I avoid Branson like the plague, btw)

[DemGa]

9. Hmm, perhaps a magic underwear option

for the more modest patrons.

[TahitiNut]

10. They already have one. It's called "Fort Leonard Wood."

:evilgrin: :rofl:

[Cyrano]

11. Do they let you walk around Fort Leonard Wood naked?

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

14. I don't know, but I've seen signs

for porno shops and strip clubs along the Interstate there.....

[TahitiNut]

17. Well, they used to ... but I haven't been there in almost 40 years.

It was more like "run" than "walk" then. :silly: Shave-tailed.

The snakes were DI's.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

12. It should be built around Independence MO

that is where, I believe, the Mormons think the Garden was.

Anyway, you need an animal concession where some machine makes plastic animals that you get to name. And maybe a petting zoo and arboretum. But you'll need to have this thing under a dome--you know how cold it gets in MO in the winter?

[catmandu57]

22. Yeah Branson is out

Too many fundies down that way, they don't like mormons at all.

[balantz]

15. When the fun's over

do you get kicked out of the garden on your naked ass?!

[Cyrano]

16. Only if you take a bite out of the apple.

When you stop to think of the Garden of Eden allegory, some scribe a few thousand years ago believed that knowledge was evil. What's astounding is that today's fundies believe the same thing. Perhaps these people somehow eluded evolution.

[bryant69]

18. It is convienent that Mormons are the only religion on earth to believe unusual things

You'll have to explain to me why believing the Garden of Eden was in Missouri is any more or less ridiculous than believing it was in the middle east.

Bryant
Check it out --> http://politicalcomment.blogspot.com

[Cyrano]

19. As mentioned in post #16 above, I consider it to be an allegory

written by some long forgotten scribe(s).

I can't speak for the beliefs of other posters.

[Evoman]

24. Great point.

I agree with you.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

20. They can have a shrine to the Bush family

They can explain that God took a rib from Adam and then created Eve. Eve then took an apple and offered it to Adam. Adam ate the apple and then ran into the bushes to take a dump. A new bush grew from the place where Adam squatted down, taking human form. Thus the Bush family came into being.

[Initech]

21. Build it in Cincinatti right next to the Creation Museum.

You'd be guaranteed to make a fortune that way!

[Cyrano]

23. With the land purchases the Bush family made in Paraguay, do you

suppose they're planning on starting a new Garden of Eden for themselves? Then again, they might just be setting up a safe haven to protect themselves from being dragged to the Hague.