== God commands you to read this = By Mark Morford

[madokie]

Honestly, I won't mind if you don't. But the Lord visited me personally. Do it!

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2007/12/07/notes120707.DTL&nl=fix
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/g/a/2007/12/07/notes120707.DTL&type=printable

Richard Roberts told students at Oral Roberts University that he did not want to resign as president of the scandal-plagued evangelical school, but he did so because God insisted. —Associated Press

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There I was, calmly enjoying some Thanksgiving leftovers and offering some divine gratitude for this truly fine '04 Pinot when suddenly boom, there was God, right across the table, helping Himself to some stuffing and the choicest hunks of dark meat, which He totally knows is my favorite. Clearly, He wanted my attention.

"Oh hey, it's you," I said, feigning nonchalance, as if this sort of thing happens to me every day (I always like to throw God off a bit, given how He's so accustomed to those melodramatic, fall-to-your-knees-in-terror reactions He always gets from the nutball evangelicals whenever He swings through their nightmares in his classic fire/brimstone persona. That always cracks Him up). "What's up?" ...

[malaise]

1. Simply brilliant

I told you in no uncertain terms that Richard Roberts is a world-class charlatan with a rabid case of elephantiasis of the false spirit.

"I want you to ring the alarm, raise the roof, send out an S.O.S., put a message in a bottle, whatever the hell it is you writer people do. I'm getting tired of this."

Love this part.

[sinkingfeeling]

2. I need to go to San Francisco and hire some planes to pull a sign across the sky: "I love Mark!"

[silverweb]

3. One of his best columns ever.

I just finished reading it in my email and rushed over here to see if anyone had posted it yet. :D

[kentuck]

4. An excellent read

K & R