Hey kids! Make your tree the shizz this year with "The Jesus Tree Topper"!

[meegbear]

Top your Christmas tree with this Jesus tree topper, and remember the real meaning of Christmas. If I be lifted up I will draw all men unto Me. It is truely beautiful. Top quality, real silk gown, made of resin, nail prints in hands, and 12″ tall. Lights up when plugged in. King of Glory. Hollow in center. Not sold anywhere else, our own patented design. Can be used all year round, even Easter. (source)

[TechBear_Seattle]

1. Sweet Jesus, is that a tree up your tuckus?

Oh, my Lord!

:rofl:

[Mnemosyne]

9. OMG

:rofl:

See: #9. Who Put the Stump - Bob Rivers!

http://www.bobrivers.com/audiovault/tunes/tunestop30.asp

[progressoid]

21. Yea! I new Christmas song to email to friends!

That's the best. THANKS!

[Mnemosyne]

89. Bob Winters is wicked! Did you hear "Walking Round in Women's

Underwear" yet?

'I am Santa Clause' is one of my favorites, parody of 'I am Ironman' by Black Sabbath.

These songs make the holidays jollier for me!:hi:

[progressoid]

97. I'm listening to them all!

I have heard a couple before, including "Women's Underwear" (one of the best). Some of them show up on the radio here from time to time.

I might have to get one of those CDs for the holidays!

[Mnemosyne]

99. Only one that bothers me is

"Teddy the Red-Nosed Senator", even though funny, just like Ted so much.

A friend made my cd, I even listen in July!

[malaise]

40. Priceless

Even sounds like Nat King Cole :rofl:
The Twelve pains of Christmas is also very good.

Add

[Mnemosyne]

91. My all-time favorite Xmas album!

The Twelve Pains :rofl:

And don't miss, 'Chimpmunks Roasting on an Open Fire'!

Just noticed I typed Chimp, instead of chip. Freudian?

[WillyT]

13. ROFLMAO !!!

:rofl:

Priceless!

:rofl:

[MuseRider]

15. !

:spray: Seriously!

[SharkSquid]

2. I like it

What is the point of this post again?

[meegbear]

5. To make your tree the shizz!

[SharkSquid]

7. UMMM ok n/t

[meegbear]

24. WELCOME TO DU!!

:party:

[SharkSquid]

31. Thanks!

;-)

[johnfunk]

50. Your trizzle will be the shizzle in the hizzle for Chrizzle!

Ya feel me?

[Sabriel]

3. Why can't I just substitute the Jesus Night Light?

It's waaaaay cheaper. I could just plug it in on top of the tree.

http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/christiandollarstore_1975_20216797

[asthmaticeog]

4. Yeah, I don't believe in god so maybe it's not my place to say...

...but I don't think anyone worships a Jesus in a cheap gilt satin toga and a Burger King crown.

[SharkSquid]

6. Eh Your supposed to

get crowns in heaven, plus Jesus is the King of heaven...eh

[Mnemosyne]

10. And with a tree up... n/t

:rofl:

[Arugula Latte]

70. Waaaaiiiiiiiit a minute ...

Has anyone ever seen Jesus and Burger King in the same room together? Hmmmm ... The beard, the flowing robe ... Suddenly it all makes sense!

[MorningGlow]

8. Looks like King Arthur to me n/t

[Orsino]

104. Jesus is supposed to have emphasized...

...that he wasn't trying to establish an earthly kingdom. Portrayals of him with a crown (metaphorical or not) seem to be missing the point.

[Ezlivin]

11. Anytime I can insert something into the bottom of Jesus I'm happy

But a whole tree? Whoa.

[eFriendly]

12. "Hollow in center" - just like the entire religion the figure stands for.

n/t

[Clark2008]

18. I'm guessing you have never really studied it... but OK

You're entitled to your uninformed opinion.


(NOTE: Not all Christians are fundie nuts. Most, actually, believe Jesus was a man of peace and follow him in this manner - not as an excuse to hate those they think the Bible "hates.")

[eFriendly]

23. I'm sure you've heard the old saying about...

assuming things you have no clue about.

[SharkSquid]

32. Ok how about this

You are entitled to your very rude and borderline bigoted opinion...

[eFriendly]

34. I can accept that. LOL

But "uninformed," I am not. And as to the "rude" and "borderline bigoted" references... well, that is just a matter of perspective.

[Goblinmonger]

39. Wow. Overreact much.

this is the type of thing everyone refers to as the bigotted nature against Christians on here. How is that statement bigotted? He said the religion was "hollow in the center." That's not even talking about the people that follow the religion. It is a criticism of the religion and nothing else. Damn.

[SharkSquid]

42. Seems like an undocumented bigoted statement

[Goblinmonger]

46. Against whom?

a dogma? You can be bigotted against a philosophy now?

And what does "undocumented" mean?

I'll start with the documentation, then:

Read the Mithra mythology and then get back to me about this Jesus guy being the son of god.

[SharkSquid]

48. OOOO Mithras

*yawn*

BTW I am Jewish so I honestly dont have a dog in this fight, I just dont care for anyone denegrating anothers beliefs.

[eFriendly]

49. Just a word of advice: When you find yourself in a hole.... quit digging. n/t

[SharkSquid]

51. A word of "advise" to you as well

When giving advice, spell check the subject line, at least the subject line.

;)

Mazel Tov

[eFriendly]

52. Pathetic. n/t

[Goblinmonger]

59. Well, I guess a couple cliche's apply:`

1. When you got nothing else, got for the ad hom.
2. When you see yourself as a hammar, all the world looks like a nail.

I pointed out the errors in that person's sentence, though, so we'll see if they hold themself to the same standards.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

60. I thought you just said...

"I just dont care for anyone denegrating anothers beliefs." (sique)

[Goblinmonger]

56. So no dogma can ever be questioned?

Do you attack those that deride the right-wing fundies here on DU? Or is it just the good, liberal dogmas that you run to the protection of.

You can yawn all you want, but Mithras pretty much indicates that the Jesus story is just a cheap plagiarism of older stories. Sorry, that was bigotted, I shouldn't say anything but positive things about knock-off myths. Praise Jesus.

[SharkSquid]

73. Most faiths derive their tenents from earlier belief systems

Christianity drew heavily on Greek and Persian mysticism to attract new followers. Mithras cults as well as the followers of several north african based cults also followed a similar tac with the "son of god" thing there were even followers of a roman charismatic who believed that he ressurected people and healed them and turned water into wine. Son of God was not a messianic thing it was a greek thing to get the goyim in when the evangelism of the Jews failed.

[Goblinmonger]

86. And the fact that pretty much EVERYTHING

about Christianity was ripped off doesn't make your bullshit meter go off and cause to you think it was all made up?

But, of course, to even mention that is, somehow in your world, disrespectful.

[Goblinmonger]

58. Since you decided to play grammar police

Your sentence should look like this:

"By the way, I am Jewish, so I honestly don't have a dog in this fight; I just don't care for anyone denegrating another's beliefs."

You could use a period or a comma/conjunction instead of the semi-colon if you wish--just a stylistic choice on my part to use the semi-colon.

If I don't count the BTW against you, I count 5 major and very low-level punctuation errors in your sentence. What did that Jesus guy say about the plank in your own eye? Oh, that's right, you're Jewish.

[SharkSquid]

74. Notice I only pointed out errors in the subject line

"removes the speck from my own eye"

but point is taken...

[Arugula Latte]

65. This is a rough-and-tumble board

People will express their opinions on a variety of topics. Criticism of "Faith" is not off limits. Just because something is labeled as "Religion" doesn't mean people have to treat it with kid gloves. A belief system based on stories and "faith" in an invisible, omnipotent deity creature is not exactly immune from satire.

[SharkSquid]

76. OK good

I can talk about the supreme arrogance of Atheistic thought.

It is one thing to debate the merits of one belief system or another, it is an entirely different thing to make jokes about putting something up the butt of the "Son of God"

[Goblinmonger]

84. Give it your best shot

but you might want to practice on your mom and dad first before coming into the real world and debating with real atheists.

There is a whole crowd just like you that hangs out in Religion/Theology and takes their shots at the atheists. You might want to join in.

And I'm not the one that made a frickin tree topper that DOES put a tree up the arse of god's only begotten son. That was someone else. We were just pointing out the absurdity of it.

[SharkSquid]

92. I wont give it my best shot

Because it is not my place to tell you what you believe is wrong (i went through an athiest face once, its just not for me) but thanks for the welcome, I have one subset of DU pinned down it would seem. :)

Peace out

[spoony]

96. Oh there's no borderline about it, mate

Stick around and you'll see some truly ridiculous rubbish here whenever religion comes up. It's sad, but a lot of people seem to have dedicated their lives to things they don't even believe in and denigrating those who do.

[Al Federfer]

37. Amen. n/t

[spoony]

53. You chose the wrong user name.

[Goblinmonger]

61. So now it's not just "attacks" on a Christian

that are a problem for you, but now the entire dogma is off limits? Nothing can be said about the collective mythology of Christianity without you and others getting their panties in a wad?

How fragile it all must be.

[SharkSquid]

77. Stupid chidlish satire

is not intelligent debate...It is Family Guy

[unpossibles]

81. intelligent debate?!?

wow.

[Goblinmonger]

82. Perhaps you need to look it up

but satire is not supposed to be debate.

And Family Guy is hardly childish or stupid. You need to have a pretty solid literature base to get all of the jokes.

[SharkSquid]

93. I know

and all of the references are pretty deep,
however

the satire is not particularly high minded...

BTW I love family guy, dont get me wrong.

[spoony]

95. Yeah you have to be familiar with "The Facts of Life" AND "Who's the Boss"

[Goblinmonger]

105. If that's all you bring to the table with you

then that is all you are going to recognize. You might want to read a little more literature there, Spoony, or actually watch the show, and you would catch all kinds of references to James Joyce and Shakespeare to name but two.

[spoony]

94. *Yawn*

The funny thing is that you don't know what foaming, rabid nutters you all look like to the rest of the world when you hop all over a fucking tree ornament or pajamas or any of the other thousand innocuous, harmless little religious things so clumsily "lampooned" here.

[SharkSquid]

101. Hahaha

Spoony I can almost hear your accent in my head :)

[C_U_L8R]

14. What's next... Republican Jesus in a Diaper?

Does he come with a life-like public restroom?

[spanone]

79. Ohh i love that one....the vipper dipper

[YOY]

16. Made in China

n/t

[Quantess]

26. You beat me to it.

:)

[eppur_se_muova]

17. "Hi! I'm here to deliver your tree ... where should I put it?"

I always thought it was an angel who suffered that fate.

[SixString]

19. Top off that pagan tree with the King of Kings

Bring some righteousness to this years Saturnalia celebration.

[Gold Metal Flake]

20. King of Glory. Hollow in center.

I can not die until I hear a rabid fundy scream that phrase into my face.

[VP505]

22. WOW, perfect

for culture warrior Bill O'Liely in his crusade against the "war on Christmas".:bounce:

[lapfog_1]

25. OTOH, I think I will use this as my tree-topper this year

I'm tired of the Christians taking over my holidays...

[murielm99]

27. Did you make that?

If not, where did you get it?

[lapfog_1]

38. No... I was thinking "Hey, lets make an FSM tree ornament..."

and, of course, the second thought was "Probably somebody already has done it"...

So I googled it and found it here.

http://www.boingboing.net/2007/11/13/flying-spaghetti-mon-1.html

cute!

So I am ordering one for this year. Will make the more fundy types in my family heads explode (I hope!).

Share and Enjoy!

[TechBear_Seattle]

30. "Let's keep the Sol in Solstice"

That's been my holiday slogan for many years. :toast:

[JNelson6563]

33. Hey, good one!

I may borrow that. ;-)

Julie

[TechBear_Seattle]

43. Feel free, as it's not mine

Many years ago, there was a movement among many Christian groups to "keep the Christ in Christmas," ie put aside at least some of the commericalism and instead focus on charitable works and reflection on what the season is supposed to be about. Of course, Talibangelicals quickly adopted the slogan as a weapon against the inclusivity and as a rallying cry to get government and businesses to promote an exclusively and extremely religious Christian view of the season. That in turn caused more moderate groups to abandon the movement, lest they become tainted by the extremism of their self-described bretheren.

"Keep the Sol in Solstice" was a reaction against the Talibangelical cry, serving as a reminder that the vast majority of Christmas customs come from older, pagan traditions.

Added See this thread for a bit more. :toast:

[lapfog_1]

41. Also keep the "Yule" in Yuletide! - n/t

[Arugula Latte]

67. I'm totally stealing that line!

:toast:

[Arugula Latte]

66. I love that!

I want one!!! :bounce:

[tularetom]

28. "Nail prints in hands"? WTF?

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

"King of Glory. Hollow in center." What's the real message here?

[Gabi Hayes]

103. those are actual holes.

Jesus Flute

[BlueButGlad2]

29. drag queen alert!

drag queen alert!

[meegbear]

35. LOL

:party: WELCOME TO DU!! :party:

[Lex]

45. LOL! Oh, that is a fierce look.

You go, Jesus.

[KittyWampus]

47. if it were a drag-Jesus, he'd be wearing velvet.

[Al Federfer]

36. Christmas trees are pagan. My Jesus would never sit on one. n/t

[Lex]

44. Sit on it, Potsie . . . er, Jesus!

nt

[krispos42]

54. Does it come with a tube of KY?

Hmmm... did I use the right spelling of "come"?





Oh my, what's that sulfurous smell?


:hide:

[Warren DeMontague]

55. He's looking more and more like the Burger King every day.

Coincidence? I think not.

[StarryNite]

57. OMG!

Complete with nail prints in hands. :eyes:

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

62. We all know how much Jesus enjoyed...

being affixed to a tall piece of wood.

[Goblinmonger]

63. Pine scented

butt plug?

[SharkSquid]

78. Two examples

of my earlier point.

[Goblinmonger]

83. Sorry that my humor

is not up to the levels of your pretension.

Though you will find quite a few ass, fart, and sex jokes in Shakespeare. Maybe that will make you think it is a little more high-brow.

I know, I know, you're too good for me and I'm just a childish wanker. I got it.

[Goblinmonger]

87. Here's another one, then:

Makes it taste like gin for felching.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

90. I'm sorry...

what's your point again?

[Neecy]

102. well....

Actually, a pine tree is only a seasonal butt plug. Here's one good for the entire year - I think Dianne Feinstein has one...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSZcgPFdFxI

[Warren DeMontague]

88. .

Okay, that's gotta be worth a DUzy.

[sakabatou]

64. Thank the FSM I'm not really religious

Besides, I'm Jewish ^_^

[Neshanic]

68. Does he come with a little boat trailer hitch?

[Arugula Latte]

69. Hallmark needs to make Jesus-in-a-sled (with a snowman anda penguin)

dancing by swaying side to side to an annoyingly high electronic voice singing "Jingle Bells."

[Bigmack]

71. This one needs a comma....

... see if you can put it in the right place.

http://www.christiandollarstore.com/smiljeslovyo5.html

[StarryNite]

80. Ha!

[RB TexLa]

72. I think I'll stick with my more respectful looking one of a praying Mary

[Bluebear]

75. King of Glory. Hollow in center!!!!11111

[Goblinmonger]

85. Just to add another to my friends list above:

King of Glory Hole!!!!

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

98. Jesus and Barbie? The deity as a doll? Does it come with beachwear?

[L. Coyote]

100. DON'T kill a tree for Christ's sake.

[MountainLaurel]

106. Wow, that even beats

The blinking light-up Jesus my friend got free with a bottle of Coke in Japan a few years ago. (Damn cheapass thing: Jesus stopped lighting up within a week.