So, what do you do when you see someone who's down?

[redqueen]

I'm asking cause of some posts made in response to someone who seemed downhearted. I thought that might be the result of someone from Gore's staff apparently *finally* deciding to tell all the people who worked so hard for his nomination that they needn't have bothered to waste their time.

So... what do you do?

[hlthe2b]

1. Depends on if they seem determined to drag everyone else

with them.... Usually, I just try to listen and remain non-judgemental.



But at some point, the ole "Moonstruck" line comes to mind: "snap out of it! just snap out of it!" Hell, we are all feeling dark after the hell of the past 6 1/2 years. But, geebus.

[redqueen]

2. "Snap out of it!" is a form of encouragement, IMO.

Calling them garbage, not so much.

:hi:

[hlthe2b]

4. One would hope...

:thumbsup:

[LSparkle]

3. If it's someone who's down about Gore, I'd tell them: listen to Obama's

speech from the Jefferson-Jackson dinner. Obama is voicing my dissatisfaction with the system as it is and is pushing for change -- even though I'd prefer President Gore, we still have a great field and I'm excited especially by Obama's newly-reclaimed passion.

[Bluebear]

11. And I would tell you Obama is not an option because of his pandering to bigots.

And so it goes :)

[Alexander]

38. Edwards isn't an option because he didn't say he'd support the Democratic nominee.

[Bluebear]

41. Oh of course he will. He's in a primary race.

[NYVet]

5. In NYC?

Pat them down to see if they still have their wallet. If not, take it.

[redqueen]

6. Hardy har har!

:P

[Lilith Velkor]

7. Nothing. I'm not the Optimism Police.

The "happiness is mandatory" mentality is a major reason this country sucks.

[redqueen]

8. Happiness is of course not mandatory...

I'm not asking if you want to make them happy... :wtf:

I should have added a "leave them alone" option.

[Lilith Velkor]

10. Sorry if I seemed snippy

In all seriousness, it depends on who the person is. If it's a friend, I ask if they want to talk about it, and if the answer is no, leave them alone.

I've struggled with depression before, and one of the hardest things that comes with it is that nobody ever just leaves you alone, first comes the wheedling pleas to cheer up, then the Fristian diagnosis, then the kicking.

So I've cut out all the middlemen, like I wish more people had done with me.

[redqueen]

14. Aw... thanks but really no need to apologize...

these are stressful times.


I like that term... "fristian diagnosis". :)


This isn't so much about someone who's depressed as someone who posts something while they're obviously feeling very disheartened about the political landscape as it is now.

:hug:

[Lilith Velkor]

22. OIC

I have a term for that sort of person: "sane."

[stirlingsliver]

9. You Mean Like Bush?

When I see someone like Bush down, I just kick him in the balls.

[Bucky]

12. If someone is down and you help perk them up, doesn't that mean I'll go to heaven?

Cause if I can't get Heaven out of it, fuck 'em.

Heh.

[bryant69]

13. Avert my eyes

Assuming I don't know them.

Bryant
Check it out --> http://politicalcomment.blogspot.com

[aikoaiko]

15. Well some people need to get kicked so they don't make the same mistake again

harumpf.

[redqueen]

16. Disagree.

Positive reinforcement works much better.

:)

[aikoaiko]

19. How do you positively reinforce when someone makes a mistake?

[redqueen]

20. Depends on the mistake. (nt)

[sicksicksick_N_tired]

24. How do you define a "mistake"?

:shrug:

If an individual decides s/he has reached his/her limits in fighting for a better country, is that a "mistake"?

:shrug:

[aikoaiko]

33. yes, if you do by it beating a dead horse.

[sicksicksick_N_tired]

35. I appreciate your confidence in your judgment for your life.

Are you able to allow others their judgment over their own?

If you must have the last word, I accept it's more about you than me or anyone else.

Okay?

[aikoaiko]

40. Strange, you ask me a question and then imply that I "must have the last word" if I respond

Of course I allow others their judgment over their own lives. I don't know how I couldn't.

I think its still appropriate to express my opinions of their actions and the things they expressed. This is a discussion forum after all.

[flvegan]

27. Your equating being down to making a mistake is damn near poetry.

Poetry that nobody will ever get.

[redqueen]

30. How do you mean? (nt)

[Lone_Star_Dem]

17. Run and grab the salt shaker while they have an open wound!

Nothing screams in pain better than a person with salt rubbed into their wounds.

Oh, wait...for a moment there I think I was channeling Dick Cheney. Ick. That was nasty!

Seriously, I try to help if I can, and if I can't I at least try and understand. If I can't even do that I at least try not to make matters worse.

[sicksicksick_N_tired]

18. Validate their feelings without enabling irrational thoughts.

Basically, try to be a compassionate listener.

Everyone is stuck with making their own decisions over their lives. More often than not, each individual is the best person to make that decision over his/her life.

[redqueen]

21. I love that answer!

A compassionate listener... yes.

When merited?

I failed at that earlier this week, when someone was talking about losing their driver license due to drunk driving, and wanted sympathy for their loss.

[sicksicksick_N_tired]

23. I think,...

Compassion is always merited (even for the DUI violator). However, validating destructive behavior is not compassion,...it is enabling. It's possible to have compassion without encouraging behavior that harms either the person and/or others.

On edit: with respect to the specific reference in the OP, I can have compassion with that poster without validating that one person is able to save this nation.

[redqueen]

31. Exactly... you can not validate the error

while managing to not call them names.

[sicksicksick_N_tired]

34. Doing so is a form of persecution. Even I do that,...

,...against the most wily evil among people.

I used to avoid expressing abrupt anger against all people until I was confronted by those who proved NO care or compassion or concern or thought for all those they intentionally victimized and oppressed through the most egregious and malignant conspiracy to usurp power for themselves. They are even guilty of creating a persecutory/attitude and culture by manipulating the masses through the most trusted means of communication.

I call them names.

The poster to whom you refer or the DUI violator have their personal struggles. I can forgive and feel compassion for personal struggle. They most need compassion.

I am not advocating compassion for those engaged in massive fraud and murder and oppression. I only spend my compassion when individuals ARE suffering something akin to common human suffering: never on intentional human destruction and oppression.

[Me.]

25. I Think Judge Not

That being said, in the case of evil extremes, like with every criminal in this admin, I want justice served but will try not to indulge in too much schadenfrauden. As for anyone else, I can't seem to find the inclination to kick.

[SaveAmerica]

26. Make them into a comforter

Why isn't that a choice?

[Annces]

28. It depends on the situation

looking back at different circumstances, I come up with 100s of variations. Basically if your advise can help somewhat, then I offer what I can. Otherwise there are pitfalls, with people not appreciating what you are offering or thinking you have more than them, so they can just take. Or people who are always looking on the dark side. Ad infinitum.

[BlackVelvet04]

29. If it's because they are down because of the word from Gore's

staff today I would tell them they could have been done with the grieving months ago if they had listened to what Al Gore said instead of trying to decode his words and make them mean what they wanted them to.

It's fine to be positive but delusional is something else entirely.

[redqueen]

32. "delusional"

Thanks for providing an excellent example of "kicking".

[BlackVelvet04]

36. Glad I could help out......

I try to be helpful.

[cynatnite]

37. Sometimes kicking isn't a bad thing to do...

It can wake them up to the real world and face facts. Of course, I would give them ample time to grieve, try to perk them up and if they continued on for an extended period of time I would kick them hoping it'll wake them up.

If that fails, then I ignore them.

[Lilith Velkor]

42. That's what Jesus would do

:thumbsup:

[Lil Missy]

39. Depends

Everybody needs a friend and some extra support at some time in their life. Shit happens that we have no control over, and some suffer worse hardships than others. I am always happy to lend my support and be a good listener or just do a lunch or something to show support or visit and listen.

But there is the other extreme that I just can't stand. People who are always pissing, whining, moaning and groaning over trivial bullshit, or making a crisis out of the most mundane situations. I've worked with a couple people like that and it's like being around constant emotional pollution. Everything is a damned life crisis. It's draining, and I tend to avoid people like that.