What say you, men of DU, about male birth control?

[Book Lover]

A while back, I posted this thread http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=4259805 asking DU men what they thought of opening up their birth control options. This thread http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2230109 prompts me to ask it again.

How much desire is there for a male BC pill? If it were available and as safe as the female pill, would you take it? Would you be willing to start or help a campaign to make the R&D happen faster?

[MrCoffee]

1. i went for the vasectomy

[Buzz Clik]

4. ugh. I did that. Would never recommend that for anyone.

Many things they don't tell you...

[Squatch]

6. Like what? (...besides somebody slicing on your coin purse)

I'm planning on getting one as soon as our next kid is born.

[MrCoffee]

7. really? i recommend it to everyone.

i had no problems at all with it.

[gilpo]

8. Really? Mine was easy and not that big a deal to recover from.

Wifey's happier, too :evilgrin: :evilgrin: :evilgrin:

[Thothmes]

112. Most go ok

Mine was a disaster. Had to have done twice, second time in the hospital for 10 days on a continuous IV of antibiotics.

[quispquake]

10. Yeah, I did too...and had some problems too...

BIG BRUISES...Lotsa pain...I think the doctor that did mine was late to his golf match or something, but I hurt for weeks afterwards...

However, I do realize I'm in the minority, but that realization didn't help me get through it any better...

[Buzz Clik]

16. The intial discomort (massive understatement) was just the beginning

After getting all healed up, the standard slap-and-tickle session could also be a journey through hell, particularly if it had been more than week since the last time. It was quite similar to "blue balls" from the bad old days.

And then, there was a residual infection. This was found years after. Not a happy time.

Latex and I have become quite close.

[MrCoffee]

21. oh man, that sucks

[Squatch]

27. So, let me get this straight...

if you don't "bust a nut" once a week, it would "be a journey through hell" when you finally did?

Shit...now I'm not so sure I want one of these.

[Buzz Clik]

38. Yep. That is exactly correct.

I have no idea if my case is typical at all. I had two friends recommend the vasectomy; they never mentioned such a thing.

[SidDithers]

43. I don't think it's typical...

mine went smooth as glass, with no bruising or post op pain. Sorry to hear you had complications.

Sid

[Buzz Clik]

45. thanks. Fortunately, it's all behind me now.

[Al Federfer]

71. Not typical. Mine was no trouble at all...

I watched the whole procedure, and had great sex the same day.

[quispquake]

36. Yikes!

My symptoms disappeared after a month or so...sorry to hear yours have continued...

ANY surgery can have problems...I know Vasectomies have a good rep (and for 99% they are good), but when you're in that 1% it can really suck...

[Buzz Clik]

39. I am certainly not pounding the drum against the procedure.

This is simply my experience.

[mike_c]

54. wow-- mine was absolutely painless and recovery was a snap....

Wow. The procedure itself was NOTHING-- the urologist and I had a conversation during the entire op, which took about 15 minutes or so IIRC. I had some minor soreness for a day or so afterward. Really minor. No other effects whatsoever, other than blessed infertility.

[Stinky The Clown]

118. That's about what mine was like

I spent one day goldbricking laying on the sofa .... but that was all I could get away with. Apart from that, I've had zero aftereffects. That was maybe 25 years ago.

[Bigmack]

80. I expected bruising and soreness...

because my doc referred to my scrotal skin as "rhino-hide" during the procedure, and complained that he had to use more pressure on the scalpel than usual.

Nothin'.

Not being macho... just nothin'. Ice and rest for a day.

[Dr.Phool]

58. Mine worked out fine for me.

No pain.

[Hobarticus]

74. Worked fine for me

But there are very few and far between problems for some men, so I understand where you're coming from.

[flvegan]

2. I'd buy it.

I think it's a great idea.

[mike_c]

3. I have zero desire for a male pill....

My vasectomy has withstood the test of time, thank you! Vasectomy is easy, nearly painless, and the absolute best form of birth control available, IMO.

[Matariki]

13. But what if you are planning for kids later?

And in the mean time don't want the risk of an unwanted pregnancy and the burden of child support payments for a kid you fathered with a woman who SWORE she was on birth control?

If I were a man, I'd want to take precautions for myself and not rely solely on my sex partner.

[mike_c]

51. I absolutely DID "take precautions for myself..."

Good lord, you sound like I'm advocating irresponsible behavior or trying to dodge reproductive responsibility! I decided I was not interested in having more children after my daughter was born and rather than make my partners responsible for preventing my reproduction, I had my vas deferens cut.

My reply to the OP was a little tongue in cheek, but I do indeed advocate permanent male sterilization whenever possible. It's simple and it works. I have never regretted it-- not for one minute.

[Matariki]

72. No, you misunderstand me. It was a hypothetical question and not directed at you.

I shouldn't have used the word 'you' when I actually meant a hypothetical person. Sorry.

I had my tubes tied at 21, not that that has anything to do with anything, other than wanting to high-five your vasectomy. ;-)

[VelmaD]

59. wear a condom

Seriously. A male pill will not protect you or your partner from STDs.

[Matariki]

75. True. But condoms break. Diaphrams get holes. And even the pill isn't 100% failsafe.

Believe me, I know this from first hand experience.

And at some point in a monogamous relationship many people want to dispense with the condoms. Still need birth control and if I were a man I'd wouldn't want to completely rely on my partner for something that would impact my life as seriously as an unplanned pregnancy. But that's just me.

[Xithras]

128. Condoms generally suck.

Anyone who says that they "feel the same" is either a liar or has a numb d**k.

[Book Lover]

15. But isn't generally reversible

Though I understand some procedures are more likely to be reversible than others, I wonder if surgery is the right answer for every man.

[Buzz Clik]

5. No pills, thank you.

[Book Lover]

17. I'm curious what your optimal male bc would be then

It sounds like you aren't happy with your vasectomy (or is it more that you were unhappy with the aftereffects?), and you aren't happy with the idea of taking pills. What would be your ideal male birth control method?

[Buzz Clik]

23. The vasectomy would have been fine if it hadn't been so horrible in every way.

My body only reluctantly accepts foreign chemicals.

A little latex goes a long way. It's a shitty compromise, but it's my best alternative.

[Book Lover]

33. Your story *does* sound awful

I work with medical textbooks, so I can all-too-vividly imagine the visuals of what you describe. Yack!

[Beerboy]

9. What do the feminists say?

[Book Lover]

11. This feminist is asking you

What do *you* say?

[wicket]

25. Have I told you lately....

.....that I love you? :D

[Book Lover]

26. Not lately

Why, thank you :-)

[wicket]

124. You're one of my fave DUers

:loveya:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

31. whats your fucking point?

[tridim]

12. Never really thought about a pill but I'm allergic to latex, so that might be a good idea. nt

[RB TexLa]

14. I think it would be great. No man should ever allow a woman to be the one controlling if he

becomes a father. And we control it now, a pill would make it easier for many.

[Wolfetone]

18. Male Pill

Sounds like a good idea to me. I don't need one anymore, because my wife can't have kids, but I would have taken it when I was dating if it was an option.

[eggplant]

19. For a stable monagamous couple, maybe

Assuming that they still may want (more) kids. Otherwise, snippage is the way to go. Mine was fairly easy (20 minutes start to finish, no cuddling afterwards). Easy recovery, although it looks somewhat gruesome until it is completely healed. After that, you can only barely see the scar, and you have to really look. For me, the worst part was the $500 (!) "infertility" deductible on my insurance. Ouch.

The problem with a male pill is that without an underlying layer of trust, it is meaningless.

[Book Lover]

24. "...without an underlying layer of trust, it is meaningless.'

I don't know that I agree with that. The point of you taking the male pill would be that you know you are protected, no matter what happens to your partner's method. Or is your thinking that only one partner needs to implement bc?

[Missy Vixen]

42. Okay, just throwing this one out here

Let's put the shoe on the other foot, shall we?

The female of the couple does not want a child. Her male partner does. He's taking the pill, and he "forgets". What then?

I agree with the poster that said this would only work in relationships with a lot of trust. In the meantime, I'm in a LTR. If I wasn't, I would never trust anyone else with the birth control. I'd take care of it myself, because I do not want a child.

IMHO, YMMV
Julie

[Book Lover]

44. Either in relationships with a lot of trust, or zero trust at all

Either you can trust your partner to take bc or not. Maybe the answer is both parties employ bc no matter what.

[Missy Vixen]

47. Seriously, knowing what you know about people as an adult

If I were dating, I would be using birth control, male pill or not.

Julie

[gollygee]

28. Do you consider the female birth control pill to be meaningless?

What kinds of birth control do you consider to be "meaningful" and what "meaning" does birth control have other than preventing pregnancy?

[EST]

20. I think a pill would be just fine.

During the late '70s, there was a guy working for me who had had a vasectomy and had gotten a divorce and re-married.
I have always been a reader and a consumer of science oriented material and had read about a then brand new procedure for reversing a vasectomy.

I told the guy about it and he was enthusiastic.

Poor man. They must have had him spread open like a basketball. He was in surgery for over three hours and in pretty bad pain, what with drains and all that, for several days.
Then he developed an infection which necessitated a second operation and the removal of one.
He did survive and still had enough material left to provide the level of hormones--the doctor hoped--to keep him balanced and avoid major changes in his physical layout.

We lost touch after that, so I don't know if he was ever able to produce children with his new wife, as he had hoped, but I was very clear that, should there ever be an alternative to mechanical changes to provide birth control, I'd be all for it.

So, guess what! I'm all for it.

[Kermitt Gribble]

22. I'd take it....

if I was ever lucky enough to have sex, but..... I'm not.

[blondeatlast]

29. Okay, I'm a femme, but I kind of have to enjoy the responses. Welcome, gentlemen,

to the world we've inhabited for centuries.

Surgery, side effects, permanence, finances, etc.

Sorry, but I'm taking a bit of guilty pleasure in this.

Tip of the hat to Mr. B@L for taking as much responsibility for it as I did!

[mike_c]

55. that's one of the main reasons I opted for vasectomy....

I don't relish the idea of my female partners having to disrupt their metabolism or accept far more invasive surgery. Vasectomy is easy, fast, and it works great.

[DontBlameMe]

30. VC, here. I figured the wife took 2 for the team...

it was time for me to man up. Best decision I ever made. Sore for about 3 weeks (for whatever reason my boys didn't react well to the surgery), including a severe case of Elephant Balls, but after a month, good to go.

Now, if I could just get the kids to go to sleep....

Do they make a pill for that?? :evilgrin:

[Barking Spider]

32. coitus interuptus

I have to be honest. My wife and I played footloose and fancy free for many years and never had a problem. Of course, a pregnancy wouldn't have been the end of the world so we could afford the risk.

We never went with the female pill b/c the wife didn't want something regulating her body like that. I would have the same concerns about a male pill, but I would consider it.

[Book Lover]

37. Wow - thanks for being so frank

What if you took the pill, say, only when you were going to have intercourse (maybe like an hour before), rather than an everyday thing? Would that allay somewhat your body-control concerns?

[warren pease]

34. Vasectomy at age 28 because...

...in no particular order:

- It's unfair to expect women to bear all the burden for birth control.
- I'm much too selfish and value my privacy too much to have kids.
- In 1978, the world was on a fast track to hell and, looking around, the pace has accelerated. I didn't want to bring kids into this kind of world.
- I hated what I was doing for a living back then and didn't want parental responsibilities to chain me to it for another couple of decades.
- The woman I was with at the time already had an abortion resulting from our relationship. I didn't want to risk that again.
- I knew this relationship wouldn't last and didn't want to create yet another single-parent kid.
- The world has enough shortish people of southern Mediterranean ancestry and doesn't need any more kids who can't slam dunk.

And, while I felt like I got kicked by a mule for a couple of days, I haven't had any medical or psychological problems in the nearly 30 years since I had the procedure.

As to a male bc pill, I'd be all for it, although you know that it would cost at least $10 a pill and would have serious side effects. So that would be my last option.

wp

[La Lioness Priyanka]

46. very cute and funny.

:)

[RiverStone]

83. oops, responded wrong post

Tho I liked yours :hi:

[gollygee]

35. To them men who say "just have a vasectomy" . . .

what about young men who aren't ready to say they'll never want kids? Girls often start taking birth control pills around 16 or so. I don't think many 16-year-old boys are going to be ready to have a vasectomy.

Vasectomies are great and it's great that you all have taken that responsibility, but we really need other birth control options for men.

[Book Lover]

40. I found this place this morning

http://www.newmalecontraception.org when discussing this topic in another thread.

[HughBeaumont]

41. Yes we do.

Ones that preferrably don't involve scalpels . . . down there . . .

(Next week. Wish me luck . . . )

[iamthebandfanman]

48. sure id take it

but id want my special someone to still be on theirs as well ;)

[focusfan]

49. I am all for it the world is severly over populated

[spanone]

50. vasectomy is the way to go...no chemicals

[Book Lover]

60. What if it was an only-as-needed thing?

Say you took it only when you planned on having sex, like Viagra?

[bullwinkle428]

52. I think it's ridiculous to not use a condom if you're not

in a long-term, committed, serious relationship. If you are in such a relationship, a male "pill" would be a great idea - I'd be happy to use one!

[Giant Robot]

53. Where can I get a script?

[asthmaticeog]

56. A male pill would ultimately be of no use...

...because no woman would believe you were using it.

[Book Lover]

57. Why does this statement keep coming up?!?

For just the purposes of this discussion, just pretend that you only care about yourself. Why would you not want the peace of mind a male pill* would offer you?


* assuming comparable levels of effectiveness to the female pill

[Odin2005]

62. Uh, last I knew TRUST is a huge component in an intimate relationship...

:eyes:

[asthmaticeog]

64. A sense of humor is also important.

Though that might just be my experience. :eyes:

[Odin2005]

66. Well SORRY, I didn't see anything in the post to indicate it wasn't serious.

:eyes:

[asthmaticeog]

70. Your problem.

But in case it does any good, here are a few "irony helpers" to get you through the day:

:sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm:

Use them as you need them.

[lumberjack_jeff]

85. ... and this matters why?

Inherent in this line of reasoning is that it's prudent for men to trust women but not prudent for women to trust men. A woman dating a man who has "had a vasectomy" should still use birth control, and the reverse (if it was available) is also true.

All things being equal, she need not trust you to take your pill. She is as responsible for her fertility as you are for yours. If YOU don't want a child YOU should use birth control.

edited to add
... sorry, I didn't catch that you were joking.

[Katherine Brengle]

101. Do men not believe women who say they are taking bc pills?

Are men of such low character that they can't be trusted? Is that what you're saying?

'Cause that's sad.

[NobleCynic]

106. It isn't necessarily for just the woman

I'd take such a pill just to be certain because I don't want children. Mind you, I'd still use rubbers. I'm too young for a vasectomy, I might want kids eventually, but I certainly don't want them now. Condoms can fail, and the pill doesn't always work. I would certainly welcome an added level of protection against unplanned conception. I would hope any hormonal side effects would be minimal, but frankly I'd put up with a lot to put the chances of an unwanted pregnancy into scientific notation levels.

Selfish as it may be, to hell with whether or not she believes I'm on such a pill. Selfish as it may be, I wouldn't be taking it for her sake. The pill would be for me and my peace of mind. She can believe whatever she wants.

[Bright Eyes]

61. I'd take it.

As long as it was safe, i have no problems.

[SyntaxError]

123. I'd take it even if it wasn't safe... I like pills.

[blues90]

63. I'm a male and I think a male birth control pill is long over due

Why should all the responsibility be on the women , it takes two so we must join in . Fair is fair .

[Odin2005]

65. I'm all for it!!!

[Evoman]

67. Are you kidding me? FUCK YES.

And all that trust talk is bullshit. If you don't trust your partner, you always have your BC to back you up. With male BC, BOTH partners in a monogomous relationship could be assured that they won't "mistakingly" or mistakingly have a child.

[MindPilot]

68. Vasectomy 30 years ago.

About the best thing I ever did for myself. Worst part about it was the itchy stubble.

That said I think a pill would be good for guys who think they might want (more) kids.

Male birth control will have really come of age when we have a morning-after pill just like the ladies.

[Tektonik]

69. Good!

The more options the better.

[MUSTANG_2004]

73. No way.

I know that the pill doesn't usually have horrible side effects, but it has enough side effects that I think the "mechanical" types of birth control are a better choice. It goes to a basic philosophy that it's best to minimize as much as possible one's medication. I think that's true for both men and women.

[Book Lover]

76. As a user of a purely mechanical method, I understand your point

But I just want to ask you one quick question: would your concerns be mitigated if it were a pill you took about an hour before sex and only when you were going to engage in intercourse?

[CT_Progressive]

77. This is a no-brainer.

First, you need to separate sex from love/a relationship.

With sex, the primary concern is STDs, and no pill protects against those. So, condoms are the only choice.

With love/a relationship, STDs are out of the picture, so the only concern is birth control. The couple already has trust (STDs !), so any guy would likely jump at the chance to be in control of the remote control...er.. I mean, birth control.
:D

(Admit it, working in remote control in there was brilliant!)
:)

[Book Lover]

79. It *did* make me laugh

I'm sure if I had more time, I could come up with something really clever about how it is remote control in a way....

[lumberjack_jeff]

86. With sex, with a partner in whom STD's are a significant concern.

A BC pill backup to a condom is doubly important.

[asdjrocky]

78. You guys are making my balls hurt.

[MindPilot]

91. sorry, just couldn't help myself

:kick:

[BornagainDUer]

81. It's murder!

Plain and simple.

Unless you are a Repuggie having one, then its a sacrifice for the betterment of humankind.

[taught_me_patience]

82. I would have loved this earlier in my life

pregnancy scares are pretty stressful when you are 20 years old :-(

[lumberjack_jeff]

84. If I were single, I'd absolutely take it.

I'd strongly advise my sons to take it as well.

[JMDEM]

88. WRONG

If you are single, you use a condom. No ifs ands or opposite-side-of butt about it.

[lumberjack_jeff]

98. I WOULD absolutely take it.

If I were not in a monogamous relationship, I'd wear a condom too.

[Name removed]

87. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[JMDEM]

89. Maybe you are hanging out with the wrong type of men.

I know of several men who paid the full price and made sure their offspring were well taken care of. This included marriage to a less-than-desirable spouse.

[MindPilot]

90. Put down the broad brush and stand clear of the stereotype.

Apparently you didn't notice the men in this thread who've had vasectomies. And some of us aren't fat either.

[Geek_Girl]

92. I don't like the pill so My husband wears a condom

even my ex husband wore condoms. Not all men are "misogynist asses"

[Toasterlad]

93. Yes, It's Criminal That Not Only Are All These Women Being Raped...

...they're being force-fed pills, too!

If only women were allowed to be responsible for their own actions. What a great world that would be!

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

94. LOL

[JVS]

95. Nah. I've done without for years and never had a baby.

[Toasterlad]

96. Not an Issue For Me. But Condoms Are Still a Must for Sex.

Always play safe, my gay fellas! :headbang:

[BlueIris]

97. Kick.

:-)

[NoodleBoy]

99. I'd be for it

but, I already practice "male birth control." protection and such.

thinking about it, I might not take it, because condoms don't just protect against pregnancy, but also all those diseases, and it's (I assume) much easier for a guy to wear something than a girl. I'd stick with that probably.

[Katherine Brengle]

100. Not a man, but I support it.

Everyone should have varied and effective birth control options.

[dysfunctional press]

102. vasectomized and childless...and considering the future we face-

(or lack thereof) it was the best decision ever.

[Kiouni]

105. VHEM?

http://www.vhemt.org/

[nolabels]

103. Doesn't a zipper do the same job?

No sarcasm, just the facts. (Do your part in saving world from the plague of the humans, keep your fly up :shrug: )

[Thothmes]

113. Hormones trump common sense 95% of the time

[nolabels]

116. With all the things i have seen in my 49 years my guess probably more like 100%

I am working with the banks money, i never dreamed i was going to make it past 30 anyway :shrug:

[lostnotforgotten]

104. Abstinence - No Girlfriend For 12 Years Now

eom

[NobleCynic]

107. Oh hell yes

The options men have currently suck. Vasectomy, condom, or abstain. Condoms can fail, and I would love something more men can do to reduce the chances of an wanted pregnancy into scientific notation levels without the permanence of a vasectomy. Such a pill would be worth it for peace of mind alone.

Hell yes.

[Warren DeMontague]

108. I think the more birth control options everyone has, the better.

:thumbsup:

[timtom]

109. As a snippée

I guess I have to agree with it. I've long believed that women should not bear the entire burden concerning matters of birth and birth control.

[taterguy]

110. There's no way I could remember to take a pill every day

Good thing I got snipped.
Just for the record it was virtually pain free with no side effects.
I drove to work for a week instead of riding my bike but otherwise everything in my life is the same or better.

[Book Lover]

120. You drove a car?!

Is there nothing I can hold true anymore? ;-)

Quick question - if the male pill were like Viagra in that you only take it before intercourse, would that change how you felt about that?

[Prophet 451]

111. I'd take it in a second

I already have to take medication every morning, it'd be just another pill.

And sure, I'd help out a campaign.

[Warren Stupidity]

114. Condoms work just fine. nt

[KharmaTrain]

115. Hi-Tech Male Birth Control...

An HD TV, subscription to the NFL network and a lifetime supply of Miller Lite.

:rofl:

[SyntaxError]

122. omg!!! That's sooo sexist..

:P

[Lance_Boyle]

129. Gawds!

If I had to drink Miller Lite all my life I'd cut my own genitals off and hope to die from the blood loss.

[sce56]

117. Don't put a jinx on it but mine was no big deal

Ten years now and no more worries about raising more kids. I have 4 of them and in this croweded world that was probably too many as is. Vasectomy was a painless operation and no regrets.

[NightHawk63]

119. In a heartbeat!

[SyntaxError]

121. I'd take it...

I mean, shit happens so why not double up? Besides, it's often times best for both parties to look out for whatever interests they may have too. I mean, if you want to make sure you don't have any children then you should do your part.

[Book Lover]

125. Though I didn't expect to hear so much about vasectomies or STDs, I am

glad they came up so often. Thanks to everyone who replied. I've got a lot to think about (and I hope others now do, too).

[nemo137]

126. I'd take it, in a heartbeat.

Where I am now, I am scared as shit of having kids. I do not want to pass on my various shitty genes, or my terrible upbringing, to a new generation. Now, realizing that that may change, I haven't asked for a vasectomy for Christmas yet, so I'd welcome a 99-odd percent effective male BC pill.

[NeedleCast]

127. SUre

I'd have no worries at all about taking it. I have no desire to have children and have no problem with holding myself responsible for maintaining my child free status.