My five year old daughter wanted to know what "war" is.

[driver8]

She heard the announcer on the radio talking about the Iraq war and asked my wife what it is.

My wife explained that it is when two countries fight each other.

My daughter then wanted to know if "God helps the 'good side' win."

My wife asked her why she asked that question and my daughter said that in her "Stories of the Bible" book, God always helps the good people win. She then asked my wife how God knew who the "good people" were. My wife told her that she didn't know but would try to come up with an answer for her.

How do you answer a question like that?

[Der Blaue Engel]

1. I think God may have painted you into a corner there

Sorry; I can't think of any reasonable answer.

[riverdale]

2. Start off by explaining there are no gods

Get that idea out of her head now before she's fucked up for life

[driver8]

5. I agree with you.

Neither my wife nor I believe in God -- but we would like her to see both sides and make her own decision as to what to believe in.

[JohnLocke]

3. The Bible doesn't say the good guys always win.

Far from it.

"I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all."

http://www.hareidi.org/bible/Ecclesiastes9.htm#11

[driver8]

6. She's five years old.

She doesn't read the bible -- she has a childrens' book of Bible Stories.

Thanks for the example, though...

[krispos42]

4. Tell her that both sides think God is on their side

So it's a wash.

Then tell her that war is the perversion of man's ingenuity, twisting it to create destruction. That some times it is necessary, but often times isn't except to people that don't want to be patient and understanding and diplomatic. Tell her that war is how one country forces another country to do something.

And make sure she knows it terrible regardless of who does it and for what reason.

[rusty quoin]

8. That seems too complicated for a 5 y/o.

I would say that war and fighting are not right.

[mark414]

7. and God told Moses: Thou shalt not kill

[The Inquisitive]

9. I'll give it a go

Just say God doesn't intervene and that the book is wrong, the strongest country wins. The people who wrote the book were confused.

[Norrin Radd]

10. I'd say

the good people are those who try to end war, those who strive for peace and friendship. Sometimes people have to fight, to end war, but that doesn't make them bad.

[TahitiNut]

31. Not bad. I'd also say ...

... God (a.k.a. Allah, the Universe, Nature, Jahweh, the Great Spirit) already 'helped' everyone
- by giving them a brain to find better ways,
- by giving them a heart so that they might learn love instead of hate,
- by giving them a soul so that they would have a reason to learn from their mistakes, and
- by giving them free will so that they might take responsibility for their own choices.

The rest is up to each person ... even believing in a God.

[shadowknows69]

11. Tell her, maybe when she's a bit older

that the victors are the ones who usually write about the war. Tell her God doesn't help warlords. He watches and weeps.

[jody]

12. War is one person/group trying to impose by force her/his/their authority on others.

ON EDIT ADD:

God can't be every where so he/she/it made woman & man to work together and help others.

Genesis 1:6 says "And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth."

Perhaps God intended we humans to work in harmony and not fight over who has dominion over other humans.

[madokie]

13. war is an admission of failure to communicate

it should only come at the end of diplomacy with which there would be no need for war, in other words war is wrong

[lonestarnot]

14. Righto! War is wrong.

[flashl]

15. Best response. n/t

[Cerridwen]

16. Since she's reading and questioning at 5, I'll guess she's one smart little girl...

you could tell her that war is what happens when kids don't learn to work and play well together and then become grown ups.

If you're so inclined, you could tell her that the book she's reading is the excuse those grown up kids use to get out of trouble. Kinda like she, or some kids she knows, try to blame their bad behavior on other kids, or the dog, or the cat. The grown up kids try to blame their bad behavior on God.

If she's smart enough to read and question, I bet she's smart enough to start making the connections. She doesn't have to grasp the entire concept, just start to get a glimmer.

But, of course, it depends entirely on what you want to teach her. :D

My sacrilegious $.02.

[mondo joe]

17. Are you serious? You'r having a hard timing explaining war but you'r giving her Stories of the

Bible????

Tell her war is a fight between 2 countries. Sometimes they have to happen for good reasons, but almost always it's because people didn't do a good enough job talking first.

Tell her whenever people disagree, they like to think they are right. And if they believe in a god or gods, that means they think god or gods are on their side.

And lastly, tel her stories of the bible are just stories, like Hansel & Gretel.

Then ask her if she has any more questions about what you said.

[driver8]

23. Not a hard time explaining war -- a hard time telling her who

God helps, and why.

She hasn't asked us about it in the past couple of days so I think that question is on the back burner for awhile.

[Whisp]

29. tell her God is really helpful to Raytheon, GE, Halliburton...

erm, maybe not.

maybe you should try to explain that there really aren't any 'bad guys' - meaning the Iraqis - the almost million, are not 'bad. Just the people who twist words.

maybe not.

gosh, that 's a tough one. As you said she didn't bring it up lately so hopefully you can take some time to have a better answer than most of us here have had if she asks again.

But she will be asking it in a different way next time. be alert.

[mondo joe]

32. Respectfully, I don't see why it's a challenge.

I'd say God is something some people believe in - it's their way of thinking they're right and other people are wrong.

My daughters are 10 and 12 and are exceptionally good students. My older daughter got one of 15 spots in a vwery competetive middle school, based on her records, application and family interview.

I would only say I think the best thing you can do as a parent is try to answer the questions as they come up. Any question unanswered is an opportunity lost. And the answer can be a conversation - not just a canned response.

[IdaBriggs]

18. Tell her when she is older, you will explain it to her.

Right now the "bible stories" are very carefully edited for her maturity level. She isn't old enough to deal with the rape, murder and idol worship sections yet, but when she is, you can start the more nuanced "who wrote the Bible?" and "why did God let...?" stuff.

Just as an FYI, according to one of my (current) favorite books "Read To Me: Raising Kids Who Love To Read" by Bernice E. Cullinan, five year olds

= Like stories with animals that talk
= Like simple folktales and some fairy tales
= Like a prince and a princess
= Believe in magic
= Think fairy tale characters lived a long time ago
= Sometimes confuse real and make-believe
= Recognize some letters of the alphabet
= Can write their names

Seven year olds "See the world as good/bad; fair/not fair" (along with a bunch of other stuff I'm not going to type). So, it sounds like you have a very special daughter there!

[mondo joe]

21. Seriously disagree. Answer questions when asked. Frame answers in a way that is

understandable enough for the age level.

[driver8]

22. She is VERY precocious -- reads on about a fourth grade level.

She goes to a "Spanish immersion" kindergarten where 90% of her day is taught in Spanish and she is learning the language quickly.

We sometimes forget that she is only five years old...she seems so much older when you talk to her.

She hasn't mentioned "war" in the past couple of days so perhaps she has moved on.

I will definitely check out the book you mentioned.

[knitter4democracy]

19. This is a great teaching moment, especially for her faith.

Tell her that, in the Old Testament (show her the two parts to the Bible), God usually helped His people win (but not always--only when they were right with God). Now, though, since Jesus came, it's a lot more complicated. Ask her if everyone in her kindergarten class is good. Ask her, if her class wins a reward from the teacher, if it's because God helped the class do it or because the class decided to get together and do it. Tell her that war these days is fought by a mix of good and bad people on both sides, just like her kindergarten class is, and that war is almost always a bad thing these days. Good people get hurt badly, children get hurt who were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, and that it's not always easy to figure out who's good and who's bad.

That's pretty much what I've told my kids, and they seem to understand it pretty well (son's five, daughter's seven).

[JNelson6563]

20. I remember when my kids were small

there was discussion on a bible story (one of the many god-sanctioned slaughters, I forget which) and my daughter, not much older than yours, said to me "that doesn't sound like God's people to me!"

I told her she was right. Why would a god who loves all humans want them fighting and killing each other over anything?

My kids and I are atheists and have been for some time now.

Julie

[driver8]

26. My wife and I are atheists, also.

However, well-meaning relatives have bought a couple of "Bible Stories" books for my daughter and she loves the stories.

[Dan]

24. what I told my son

War is when good people are forced to do bad things...

[Sparkly]

25. Wars can all be reduced down to sandbox mentality.

"I was here first!"

"I want what you have!"

"Move out of my way!"

"You started it!"

"I'm bigger than you."

"You pushed me!"

"Quit picking on my friend."

"I could hit you with this, you know."

"Go ahead, say 'uncle!' Say 'uncle!'"

See what I mean?

[Evoman]

27. Tell her its how stupid, little men measure their penises without having to whip anything out.

War. What is it good for....

[NC_Nurse]

28. I would tell her that people believe many different things

about God choosing sides in wars, most people think God is on their side because they think they are right.
Bible stories are told to teach lessons, but in real life it's harder to tell God's will or even if there is a God.

[Richard Steele]

30. Tell her that things don't always work the same as in her Bible Stories book.

God often allows people to make mistakes, even very bad ones.

And that God doesn't always help one side or another, and no
one knows why for certain.

And that there isn't always a "good" side- sometimes bad people
fight other bad people.

Just my 2¢. :shrug: