I have no problem showering with gay men

[buckybadger2007]

Hi guys - I'm new here (but have been reading the posts for some time). Thanks everybody for a great site!

I am active on a number of message boards and the first response that I see when someone posts about the Hardaway issue is: "I wouldn't EVER want to shower with a gay guy".

Why? Because they would be so attracted to you they couldn't control themselves?

More than likely, they would be scared out of their mind of being 'be outed' or would be focused on what most people are focused on in the shower: cleaning.

And I buy the argument that it is the same thing as a man going into a women's shower room. There are so many differences. First of all, when men are showering, they have the 'same parts', making things a lot less interesting and much less sexual. Also, every gay person I know tells me that they aren't really interested in people that wouldn't be interested in them.

This whole issue has me so upset and my post likely didn't make much sense. But it is just so frustrating. I have been on numerous sports teams and the last thing that happens in the shower is sexual tension, and I have been in the shower room with gay men before.

So not only do I not have a problem showering with gay men, I already have.

[WI_DEM]

1. And yet Hardaway is being delusional if he thinks he has never showered with a gay man!

[ohiosmith]

2. Welcome buckybadger2007

[Name removed]

3. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[LostinVA]

11. So, you're afraid a gay man will rape you if he's bigger than you?

Because that's what your post reads like.

Ugh.

[BreweryYardRat]

81. I know the likelihood is small. I am, however paranoid.

Which means I will take even slight possibilities into consideration. Consider it a reflection of my upbringing.

And I knew one gay dude in high school who I wouldn't put it past. On the other, I also knew six other gay guys who wouldn't ever dream of violating another dude.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

15. Oh yes, because those big gay men are just waiting in the showers ready to rape!

:puke:

[BreweryYardRat]

83. Hey, I'm 6'2, 250 lbs. I wouldn't blame smaller guys if they worried about me.

As for myself, I'm just paranoid, no matter how small the possibility is.

And since I don't feel like repeating myself for everything else, check my response to your hunnybun up above.

[JuniperLea]

117. I bet you dimes to donuts that you've showered with more gay guys than you know

I didn't know half of the people that were gay in high school until my 25 year reunion, when by then, they were all mature enough and proud enough to be themselves.

A gay person is no more capable of rape than a straight person. Just so you know. Rapists come in all colors, religions and sexual orientations.

[Bluebear]

20. Yes, I am 6' 210 and I can't tell you how many guys I have raped.

My size comes in very handy when I am in the showers waiting for smaller men to come in to wash themselves.

[Catherine Vincent]

23. ...

:spray:

[Behind the Aegis]

52. Thank G-d I didn't have any liquid in my mouth!!!

You are SOOOOOOOOOOO bad!!! Shame upon ya!

:rofl:

[BreweryYardRat]

84. I said it's not likely.

Sheesh, man. I'm bigger than you are, but only slightly (2", 40 lbs.) I wouldn't blame you for worrying about me, so don't blame me for being nervous about the potential "bigger fish." Call it a reflex of my paranoia.

[me b zola]

115. Paranoia will destroy ya

[AndyA]

105. How funny! I think we've met in the past!

:loveya:

[Name removed]

124. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[mongo]

126. Grrrrrrr!

Help! Help! I'm being mauled by a bear!!!

:rofl:

[dogday]

21. Don't bend over to pick up the soap

You know those big bulky gay men just love that :sarcasm::sarcasm::sarcasm::sarcasm::sarcasm:

[Bluebear]

22. Dude, I LOVE when they do that!

You can tell that they come in, all fearful of rape, you know, and then when they drop the Lifebuoy, BAM!

[ronnykmarshall]

26. I'm getting moist!

[dogday]

30. Stop that grinning and drop that linen or

in this case The Irish Spring... Or Soap on a rope....

[JuniperLea]

121. Manly, yes. But I like it too! n/t

[JuniperLea]

120. See! Now I thought the old dropping of the soap was a come on

I always thought they did it on purpose. They look so cute... that demure little glance over the shoulder...

I always get all turned on when the soap drops! Damn. Deluded myself again!


:P

[ronnykmarshall]

24. Don't flatter yourself, sweetie.

[AspenRose]

132. I was thinking the same thing.

:eyes: Sheesh.

[mojowork_n]

27. Non-issue only because the physical size difference isn't much?

Okay, let's start at the top. I don't disagree that it's a "non-issue", but this is still the U.S. of A. in the early years of the 21st Century, so there *are* going to be some bumps on the road. At least until whatever it is that turns out to work in the latter half of the 24th Century becomes more widely adopted.

For all I know that may be the "four shower" solution (separate male/female and gay/straight facilities), or it might be something else. But I have to confess that I have been made uncomfortable in the group showers at the local Bally's. (Actually, since this was started by "BuckyBadger", it's one that may be familiar to several posters here -- the downtown Bally's next to Buca at Jackson and Van Buren.)

It has nothing to do with what Tim Hardaway said. (Which I had to google, since our local rag, The Urinal, never reported it.) In fact, it has very, very, very little to do with the general topic of gay athletes in pro sports. As a fitness club member since the early, early 90's, I've only been bothered a few times, but that's not saying it never happened, either. What I'm talking about is walking into the shower to find 2 (not one, but *two* guys) in there with chubbies, or worse. And I have been the only person in the locker room, late at night, when someone else has walked in, and what's happened -- that person stuck a finger in the air, turned on their Gay-Dar -- and guessed wrong, as they slooowly walked over to select the locker right next to the one I was using... in a completely empty locker room. And that led to angry words when I got all sarcastic and hostile. Which was pretty funny when the other guy was like half a foot taller, 50 or more pounds and 10 or 15 years younger.)

Not to say that those kinds of things are the end of the world, but it has been known to happen, and there's no easy way out when something like that does take place.

Which isn't addressing the issue, or saying the first thing at all about the whole 'concept' of gay people in sports.

[blonndee]

32. Why would you get "all sarcastic and hostile"?

I can see that it's somehow related to "Gay-Dar," from your perspective, but from the way your post is written, it seems like the only "issue" is yours.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

38. Sounds like you have issues around gay men.

That's my professional opinion as a homosexual.

[swimboy]

39. Just say no thank you to the nice man.

There's not a problem unless they don't take your no for a no.

I think many women have to put up with unwelcome interest, albeit not in a men's locker room.

[JackBeck]

42. The kind of whistles, kissing sounds, foul words that my girlfirends

put up when walking with them around the City is unbelieveable. I ask them how they put up with it. "Eh. We just ignore it."

Advice that I'd like to pass on.

[redqueen]

56. What a reasonable suggestion!

:hi:

[LostinVA]

41. Oh brother

[WI_DEM]

47. As a straight guy who has had this type of experience a couple of times

I don't feel any need to get angry or sarcastic with the person. I said, "Hello" he said "Hello" and asked if I was doing anything tonight and I said, "No, just going home to my girlfriend, but thanks for asking."

[Balbus]

31. Congrats on turning a "non-issue" into an issue with one stupid comment.

:applause:

[BreweryYardRat]

85. Dammit, it wasn't intentional.

I'm just paranoid. Should probably have included a disclaimer to that effect.

Open mouth, insert foot.

[k_jerome]

43. what about smaller gay men trained in the martial arts? nt.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

45. As a small lesbian trained in the martial arts, I can say...

I much prefer fighting a bigger opponent. They tend to be slower and if you get in real close, they have a hard time fighting back.

I guess he needs to be scared of all gay men.

[DaveJ]

62. I see your point

:) I just wanted to be different by saying that.

Anyway, when the OP says "I have no problem showering with gay men" it seems slightly belittling to me. Some gay guys can be quite aggressively attracted to other guys and make our lives quite irritating. When I was in college there was this one guy who seemed like he was almost ALWAYS in the shower, I almost never saw him work out. There were two shower areas, and whenever I chose one, he was bound to come in a minute after me. Note, that this guy was like in his thirties, not college age, yet used the college fitness center.

Thing like this happen all the time, but I am not advocating more segregation in showers. Some 'people' just happen to be annoying.

[Bluebear]

4. Welcome to DU

[mzmolly]

5. I'd love to shower with gay men.

I'll suds em up but good too! :P Lance Reichen? You need a showa?! :evilgrin:

I KID!

[Behind the Aegis]

13. You and me both, sister!

"Lance Reichen?" Doesn't he seem to be a dirty, dirty boy? Between the two of us, I betcha we could get him squeaky clean! :evilgrin:

[mzmolly]

49. He he.

:party: }( :blush: :dilemma: :yoiks:

[Behind the Aegis]

50. Mzmolly...I think he is waiting for us!!!!

[mzmolly]

63. ROFL

:rofl:

Hey, I just realized I called Reichen Lehmkuhl by his nickname with Lance Bass "Lance/Reichen" . Glad you knew what I meant. ;) However, come to think of it, Lance might come in handy, we can send him for towels?

[Behind the Aegis]

66. Heehee!

Well, we may not have to worry about Lance, as they are supposedly "broken up." :( I guess we'll just have to fetch our own towels! As for the name mix up, happens all the time. People do it with me and my partner and we don't look a thing alike! Included in this post: a picture that seems to say, "Mzmolly, where are ya? BtA is already here and getting impatient!"

[mzmolly]

68. Oooooh, showers AND sand castles?!

I'm so there!

I was actually bummed when they split up because they looked so happy?



I guess the good news is that Lance Bass can live an honest life now?

It's so fun googling saucy pics of Reichen isn't it? :P

Have a great day with "Reich" BTA :hi: I'll join you as soon as I can. ;)

[Fleshdancer]

69. oh dear Goddess bless America

:patriot:

[swimboy]

65. Doesn't he deserve some sort of Golden Globe award?

:9

[AspenRose]

133. Dayum!

:wow:

[quinnox]

6. hmm

I think a lot of guys would have a problem with it. That is reality, we don't live in a fantasy world of "progressive" utopia.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

8. so we should indulge their homophobia because it exists?

how about people who are afraid that black people will move in to their neighbourhood and ruin it...should be not criticize it because its reality?

[quinnox]

10. what do you mean by "indulge"

Certainly people are free to criticize whatever they like. But i don't think that is going to change the feelings of men who find it awkward or uncomfortable showering with a gay man, do you?

[donco6]

93. The point is, Who should bend?

(no pun intended)

But really, should gay guys be ushered out of the shower because we make some straight men irrationally nervous? Or should we just allow straight guys to endure their terror so that someday they realize it's not a big deal?

[donco6]

91. I don't wear a "FAG" sign around my neck in the shower.

And I shower almost daily at the Bally's. It's never been an issue for ME. Now that I know I'm terrifying the customers - I dunno . . .

[Poll_Blind]

7. As a (vain) straight man and the owner of an incredible ass...

...I have to say I would not be anathema to showering with gay men. I have a fantastic ass. Can't bounce a quarter off it, but it's still fantastic. Now, the only person who gets to fully appreciate how fantastic my ass is, uncovered as it were, is my girlfriend. This is a great crime in the truest sense. I would welcome to opportunity to shower with gay men because I presume that one of them might glance at my ass and become transfixed, if only for a moment, by its perfection.

  If I were showering with a group of women, as I have on many occasions at our Oregon Country Fair, I hate to admit it but on occasion I have found myself glancing at a lady showering and thought "My god, that woman has a fantastic body!". Nothing more. This is the sort of recognition I'm speaking of.

  Since my girlfriend is generally opposed, on principle, to me showering with anyone who has sex with my gender, this hypothetical remains hypothetical. However, on occasion my friends will party down at Diablo's (nee Perry's) downtown. It is quite flattering when another male buys me a drink. At four bucks or more per drink, I certainly don't turn it down.

  The only thing sillier than my Shatner-like fixation on how sexy my ass is, is homophobia. It's a very sad world we live in where people fear The Other so much they resort to the pantheon of shenanigans they invariably do. I really don't understand why some men are so disturbed by gay men. If they really understood only the two powerful tools of A) getting a free drink and conversation at a bar and B) a great-ass referral by a gay man to a lady, because he has seen your bare ass, they might cut the stupid, violent shit out and start enjoying life a little more.

PB

[ronnykmarshall]

28. You have great ass, huh?

Prove it!

Bring it owwwwwnnnn!

[Poll_Blind]

34. It fogs film like a chunk of uranium. All the life casts get stolen in transit.

:shrug:

PB

[Richard Steele]

116. Now, if only it could get half-chewed sausage off my computer screen...

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
:applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[dogday]

35. Hey I think I should be the judge of that

once you put it out there, we need proof ya know? :hi:

[Poll_Blind]

36. See response #34. I have the Loch Ness Ass. n/t

PB

[AspenRose]

134. OMG....

:spray: :rofl:

[donco6]

94. This is hilarious.

I needed the laugh.

And I would absolutely go out of my way to tell you what a great ass you have.

[jesus_of_suburbia]

118. What a great man you are.

Thank you for your common sense. 90% of Americans don't have it.

[Duncan Grant]

123. It's always good to bump into a straight guy who's figured it out.

I would guess you make friends everywhere you go. Not a bad thing, eh? :toast:

[mongo]

135. Your claims are subjective

and I think you owe DU photographic evidence of your great ass.

And what's up with this:

If I were showering with a group of women, as I have on many occasions at our Oregon Country Fair

Is that an attraction on the Midway or what? I've been to our state fair many times and never seen anything like this.

[Touchdown]

9. "As long as it's a heterosexual mutual soap down"

...Ex-Gay counselor (Played by Doogie Howser) to Jack McFarlain's bargain to turn straight if they'd soap each other down on Will and Grace.

[unpossibles]

12. I think you make a good point

and I think the reason a lot of guys ARE freaked out by the idea is that they are afraid that they'll get hit on (or perhaps that they won't....). Either way, it's fairly egotistical way of looking at things, to assume that EVERYONE wants you (general you, not the OP you).

And yes, most of my gay friends are not into the "conversion" thing at all, unless they are being hit on by the "straight" person in question.

[k_jerome]

14. having played sports and gone to military school....

i am sure i have showered with gay guys before. i can assure you that the only thing i worried about was that i didn't have the smallest penis in the room.

[Poll_Blind]

17. Heh heh, I _so_ hear you on that one. Ah, the insecurities of a teenager...

...laid bare by sports.

PB

[k_jerome]

18. ha...teenager? i'm talking college here...

21 or 22 years old. ridiculous to even think about it.

[Behind the Aegis]

55. Classic!

This thread is a fucking pip!

"i can assure you that the only thing i worried about was that i didn't have the smallest penis in the room."

:rofl:

[k_jerome]

57. i don't have time to worry about everyones sexual orientation...

when i'm busy comparing my package to every other guy in the room.

[Behind the Aegis]

59. Spoken like a true gentleman!

LOL! I can't stop giggling! Seems it isn't gays who are always the "size queens!"

[Beetwasher]

92. ROFL

Best comment of the week! :thumbsup:

[redqueen]

58. hehehehehe

:D

I like you!

[Individualist]

16. Nor would I, but they'd probably have a problem showering with me

A "nekkid" 63 year old woman with arthritis isn't an especially pretty sight. :)

[Poll_Blind]

19. Take it from a man- I have talked to some women in their 60's who...

...could out-flirt a teenage girl in her prime. Real attraction, at least for me, is all about how a woman carries and respects herself!

PB

[ThomCat]

25. Welcome to DU.

And thank you for posting a rational post on this topic. :)

[wicket]

29. welcome to DU!

:hi:

[npincus]

33. And I have no problem showering with straight men

:evilgrin:

heh heh heh....

Welcome to DU!

[TahitiNut]

37. "the last thing that happens in the shower is sexual tension"???

Really? (Hmmm.) I must not stay long enough to have discovered that. I wish someone would post a schedule.

:dunce:

[Marrah_G]

40. WellI have a problem with it

But then again I don't want to shower with anyone I'm not having a relationship with. Not because of them, rather because of my own self-conciousness!

[saltpoint]

44. Welcome to DU. I'm just reading up on Mr. Hardaway's comments,

and have to say they sound like something that would come out of Fred Phelps' mouth.

Which is not good.

Your post shows a far more evolved point of view than Mr. Hardaway's bigoted nonsense.

The NBA is just not looking very dignified these days. I miss Oscar Robertson.

And so does the NBA, whether it knows it or not.

[k_jerome]

46. ahh..the Big O...

second best ball player ever...and a strong argument can be made for #1.

[saltpoint]

48. Hi, k_jerome. Can you get homesick for great athletes who acted like

grown-ups?

Because Oscar was that for me. My god he played with the Cincinnati Royals! How many centuries ago was that? But I saw him play, and heard him speak a couple of times, and watched the quiet dignity he carried himself with.

A great man. I miss him.

[k_jerome]

51. before my time, but i can acknowledge his tremendous achievements...

i do envy those that got to see him play. the big deal made of a triple double these days...this guy AVERAGED a triple double for an entire season. it boggles the mind.

[saltpoint]

53. I agree. And he went about his business quietly. I can't imagine

that he would make a statement such as Hardaway's.

His point totals did all the talking.

[k_jerome]

67. have you read his autobiography?

he is a class act on and off the court.

[saltpoint]

72. I haven't, k_jerome. But now I want to and wonder why I haven't

yet.

Later tonight you might catch a glimpse of me sorting through the listings on Amazon.com....

(Thank you for the suggestion.)

[redqueen]

54. Welcome to DU!

:hi:

I'm straight and have no problem showering with gay women.

That whole shower anxiety thing is just ridiculous.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

60. so you would shower with me redqueen...and wouldnt be terrified?

hmmm...

:P

[redqueen]

61. hehehehehe

You know that thought's gonna be in my head for hours now, don't you?

:7

[La Lioness Priyanka]

64. aww redqueen you are the best!!

:blush:

[uppityperson]

70. Speaking as a person who has frequented hot springs, who cares who is what.

I've done stripped, soaked, showered with men women children teens adults elderly people. Naked people, people totally covered with clothing, people somewhere in between. People are people and, while I am particular who I take into my home shower with me, public showers/hot springs, meh.

[donco6]

98. I love my nudist hot springs!

And no one gives a fig about any of it there.

[ThomCat]

106. If everyone present is a naturist then that's fine.

I have no problem with mixed naturist gatherings either. But if you've got gawkers and COGs (creepy older guys) present it becomes an entirely different situation.

[uppityperson]

107. While waiting for your reply to load I was thinking about a COG at 1 once

The only time I was ever uncomfortable was because of a COG checking out, intensively, all the genitals and booby staring.

[ThomCat]

111. Fortunately, and most clothing optional spots

people will band together and make COGs go away. Anyone come comes to a clothing optional spot to stare shouldn't be there. x(

[Deep13]

71. How would I know if another dude in the gym shower is gay?

Has he got rainbow ribbon on his dick?

If I had a convenient choice, I'd rather not shower with other dudes at all, but that has nothing to do with their orientation.

[Name removed]

86. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[RB TexLa]

73. gay, straight, male, female, I don't care to shower with anyone

I just want to clean myself and get out.

[izzybeans]

74. Hardaway was probably one of those "uber-hetero dicks" that urinated on

their least favorite teammate while they shampooed with their eyes closed. Anyone whose been in an all male athlete locker-room knows of these sorts of things. I'm sure Freud had an answer for that one. So did Ted Hagard.

[Yavin4]

75. Why Not Unisex Showers?

Hey, I think that Hardaway is biggoted and wrong for what he believes. However, it's also wrong to use a public shower for romantic advances, and it does happen from time to time.

If those that disagree with me think that I'm being homophobic, then why not allow for unisex showers? Have men and women shower together.

[k_jerome]

76. because those in the majority do not find it acceptable, just like homosexuality....nt.

[newsdude]

77. Yeo ...

Really, before everyone gets too far down the "gay and straight men" should shower together road, ask yourselves why straight men and straight women have separate showers.

Maybe we really shouldn't have separate showers for men and women.
I don't know.

[Yavin4]

79. That's My Point

If it's okay for Gay and straight men to shower together, then why not make the showers unisex?

[mikelewis]

89. Imagine the football team showering with your daughter... then ask that question.

I don't care how non-progressive I may sound... ain't going to happen... at least while I'm alive.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

80. Because it would not be safe for women.

It's highly unlikely that a gay man would rape another man in the shower. It's unlikely to happen in the first place and men are more likely to be able to defend themselves.

Most women are less capable of defending themselves and more likely to be raped by a man.

It sucks, but that's reality.

[newsdude]

87. So rape is the reason? Nonsense

So if you had a strong gay male with rapist tendencies in the shower with a weak straight male, that doesn't matter?

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

88. Look at the statistics. It is far less likely a situation to ever occur.

Hell, a gay guy is more likely to get raped by a straight man than vice versa. Rape is about power, not about sex.

And I never said it didn't matter. Don't inject your words into my message.

http://www.uwstout.edu/cvpp/male_page.html

Myth: Men can't be sexually assaulted.
Fact: In 2002, one in every eight rape victims were male.

Myth: Only gay men are sexually assaulted.
Fact: About 40% of rape victims identify themselves as heterosexual.

Myth: It is only gay men that sexually assault other men.
Fact: The vast majority of men who sexually assault other men identify themselves as heterosexual.

[ThomCat]

95. Because men rape women frequently

and almost always get away with it. Because women live in fear of rape, and while some men do get raped it's not so common that men live in fear.

If showers were co-ed, most women would refuse to use them, and with very good reason. Straight men being are uncomfortable with gay men in the shower for imaginary reasons. Women would have very real reasons to be afraid of men.

[Yavin4]

99. I Like How You Use Terms Like "not so common"

Just because it rarely happens does not mean that it will never happen.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

102. He's not saying it will never happen, but when 7 out of 8 rapes are against women then...

women are quite justified in refusing to shower with men.

In fact, most rapists of OTHER MEN, are heterosexual men. That's right. Not gay men raping other men. STRAIGHT men raping other men.

[ThomCat]

103. In a communal shower

men would be no more likely to face an attempted rape than they face now. I've seen nothing to indicate that the risk of rape in the shower is significant. Women would be in constant fear of rape.

[Duncan Grant]

136. Gay man here with no objection to unisex showers.

Gee, I wonder how I negotiate my life? With all the attractive straight men I encounter on a daily basis -- you'd think I would have had a few psychotic/sexual breakdowns by now. (Must resist the urge to maul and catcall hunky, handsome straight guys...:crazy: )

Somehow, I manage to maintain my primal animal instincts around straight men -- even in the showers at my gym. Amazing, isn't it?

[retread]

78. I have taken a lot of "communal" showers(army and sports). How do you know you are

showering with gay men??

[k_jerome]

82. apparently they follow you around, and if they are big and muscular, rape you. nt.

[Beetwasher]

96. And They Can't Stop Staring At Your Penis

Oh wait, that would be you! :rofl: (just kidding)

[k_jerome]

101. lol. i wasn't kidding. nt.

[Beetwasher]

90. I'll Do You One BETTER: I'm Straight But My DOCTOR Is Gay

He sees me naked and actually touches me in my most intimate of areas and I could care less about his sexuality.

[AspenRose]

139. Same here

My GP is a lesbian and it doesn't bother me one bit. I feel comfortable with her, and that's all that matters. Actually because she knows about my interracial marriage, we've had some excellent conversations about civil rights outside the doctor's visit.

[Evoman]

97. I have a problem showering with gay men. I have a problem showering with straight men. I have

a problem showering around anybody. I never use communal showers...I go to the gym right before I go home, then take a shower. Oh, and before someone accuses my of anything, no its not homophobia. I just feel uncomfortable being naked around anyone but my gf. I don't even know why...probably the same reason I hate using public bathrooms....

[Mojambo]

110. I'm the same way. n/t

[AndyA]

114. I hate using public rest rooms as well. Mostly because so much of the public

just happen to be filthy, nasty pigs.

The men's room in my office building gets downright disgusting by afternoon. I can't believe how many guys can't hit the urinal. What the hell is the problem? It's not that difficult.

And then there are the ones who emerge from the stalls and don't wash their hands, but open the door to leave...YUCK! NASTY PIGS!! Spreading filth and disease. I go back to my office, get Lysol, and spray the door handle down good.

Thanks for this thread, it's hilarious.

[Jonathan50]

100. As a gay friend once told me

Most heterosexual men vastly overestimate their own attractiveness. :)

[Tyo]

108. Bingo

To say the least.

I've showered with lots of straight guys and have somehow managed to control myself, even around the cute ones. That is when there ARE cute ones. Just cuz you have a dick it doesn't follow that every gay guy in the area is dreaming about jumping your ass. :7

[meegbear]

104. Welcome to DU!!

Looks like your thread was hijacked, but the message and sentiment comes through loud and clear! :hi:

[northzax]

109. I confess. I would have a problem showering with any man

gay or straight. Why? cause I am long past the time of taking group showers. The only time I shower with someone is to, well, you know.

who takes group showers? no one in the NBA anymore, I bet.

[JuniperLea]

128. Camping at Mammoth Lakes, CA

There's a hot creek nearby that feeds a public pool and showers. There are two showers, one for men and one for women. There are about a dozen shower heads in one room. Not a problem, even though I might be considered way past the age where communal showers would be in my life;)

Funny thing is, I never even wondered about the sexual orientation of any of the women I showered with. Is that wrong? hahahahahaha!

People are people. The sooner we realize that and drop all the BS we put up to separate us, the better.

[HockeyMom]

112. Why do MEN have such a problem with this?

My younger daughter was on a college ice hockey team. Many of the players were lesbians. They knew my daughter was straight. She not only had to shower with them, but also share hotel rooms, and sometimes, even sleep in the same bed with players who were gay. She told me it was never a problem. She respected them and they respected her.

My older daughter is also a lesbian. I have never heard any complaints from my younger daughter about any of her sister's friends. What gives with these MEN?????

Do they think every straight woman would be dying to jump into bed with every single straight man? Why should it be any different for gays, either for other gays, or straights?

It just makes no sense to me.

[LostinVA]

122. Excellent post

I don't get it either.

[jesus_of_suburbia]

125. "It just makes no sense to me."

That's because you use your brain.


Thank you for being a good mother.

[MrSlayer]

113. My vanity is such that I welcome interest from anyone.

Gay, straight, women , men, I accept everyone's attention. Let's all feed my ego.

[Yavin4]

119. At The Risk of Being Flamed, Here I Go

I was a member of gym in predominantly gay neighborhood in NYC, and every time I went in the showers, there were several men who would "hang out" and stare at other men as they would enter and leave the shower area, dress and undress. I was not in fear of being raped, but I did feel uncomfortable. If you don't know someone, there's no reason why you should be staring at them while they are changing.

Now, if anyone here thinks that I am being homophobic, then why does my job consider it sexual harassment if I stare at a female co-worker.

[jesus_of_suburbia]

127. you aren't being homophobic....

Those gay people are idiots.

You have to remember to judge people on a one-on-one basis. I am a gay male, and I would NEVER have sex where someone could see me accidentally.


But I know there are plenty of straight people who would have sex at the gym too if it were possible.

There are many gay people who give gays a bad name, and there are many straight people who give straights a bad name.


Anyone who flames you for not liking to see sex in the shower at your gym is an idiot.


But, I can assure you that many gay people would never dream of exposing straight people to such a circus.

These gay brothers of mine DO NOT REPRESENT ME! :-)

[Yavin4]

131. I Never Mentioned Public Sex In The Shower

My point was that because the gym is in a predominantely gay neighborhood, I did get the feeling that made some of the members feel that they could take liberties, such as openly staring at other men while they changed or came out of the shower.

Like I said, my job would consider that behavior sexual harrassment.

[jesus_of_suburbia]

137. "Your job would consider that sexual harrassment"

Would you?

[Tyo]

130. I don't think you are being homophobic at all

Staring at people and making them uncomfortable is not right and it doesn't matter whether the gym has a predominantly gay membership or not.

I guess the exception MIGHT be if it was selling itself as a gay establishment. Even so, I know I would be uncomfortable with uninvited attention like that and I'm gay myself.

[Taverner]

129. Me neither

I'm more worried about fungi in a public shower situation.

(Advice: always shower with flip flops in public showers.)

[treestar]

138. OK, so humor the straight females here

No offense, but how do you know who is gay and who is not? That must be a major challenge. How do you reassure the straight men you won't go for them. Because a lot of them seem rather insecure about the whole thing.

I've never been approached by any gay woman, but I can't see it as anything that horrifying. Why do straight men find it such a thing to fear? Masculinity is such a fragile thing, apparently.

[Tyo]

140. Well when a guy is hasn't got any clothes on it can be kind of hard

And you've got a dirty mind. Shame on you

What I mean is that my gaydar is better at picking up hints based on the way a guy is dressed and the way he talks. Or you can always just ask.

In the shower nipple rings and other piercings and tattoos can be an indication also what kind of shampoo, conditioner, toner, body scrub etc he uses but with metrosexals everywhere you can often get false readings.

Honestly, I'm usually in too much of a hurry to get showered and get out to pay a lot of attention. There are other places to focus on sex. Like at home with my boyfriend.

[wakemeupwhenitsover]

141. I'm going to lock this.

Mod consensus is that this has steered seriously off topic.

best,
wakemeupwhenitsover
DU Moderator