G.I. Joe was just a toy, wasn't he? Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity

[The Straight Story]

G.I. Joe was just a toy, wasn't he?


Hollywood now proposes that in a new live-action movie based on the G.I. Joe toy line, Joe's -- well, "G.I." -- identity needs to be replaced by membership in an "international force based in Brussels." The IGN Entertainment news site reports Paramount is considering replacing our "real American hero" with "Action Man," member of an "international operations team."

Paramount will simply turn Joe's name into an acronym.

The show biz newspaper Variety reports: "G.I. Joe is now a Brussels-based outfit that stands for Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity, an international co-ed force of operatives who use hi-tech equipment to battle Cobra, an evil organization headed by a double-crossing Scottish arms dealer."

Well, thank goodness the villain -- no need to offend anyone by making our villains Arabs, Muslims, or foreign dictators of any stripe these days, though apparently Presbyterians who talk like Scottie on "Star Trek" are still OK -- is a double-crossing arms dealer. Otherwise one might be tempted to conclude the geniuses at Paramount believe arms dealing itself is evil.

http://www.lvrj.com/opinion/10849526.html

[Kutjara]

1. Paging Mike Myers. Mike Myers on set.

I see a definite role for "Fat Bastard" in this one. He'll bring just the right level of credibility and gravity to the project.

[Uncle Joe]

2. I recall sometime ago when someone posted a photo of a G.I Joe doll

supposedly being held captive by Al Qaueda. A month or so ago, Conan O'brien had a skit where he walked across the street to a bar called Joes and the bartender, puts a bottle of Jack Daniels whiskey on the counter and along with a lone patron just totally chews O'brien's ass out until O'Brien leaves. Last night Saturday Night Live runs a skit about a character named Mad Joe with a jug of moonshine and he admits to being insane and having killed some one. Maybe the media just have it in for the Joes now, it's not like I haven't given them plenty of reasons to be pissed off?:shrug:

[SalmonChantedEvening]

3. Aye, an' yon villian's name is Argyle of Carlyle!

:D