Can we have a discussion about kids and POT...Marijuana? Would you let your child smoke pot?

[in_cog_ni_to]

Depending on the age?

Here's my story...

I am a hippie from way back when. I smoked pot from the age of 14 until I was 36 years old and quit then, in 1991, because my husband didn't like it.:( Of course he never smoked it, so didn't know what he was missing! I LOVED it. My son knows I was a hippie. He knows I smoked pot. He knows I loved it.

One night, a few months ago, he and a friend came walking in the house and my son's eyes were blood shot and squinty...;) dead give away for me. I asked him what was wrong with his eyes and he said they were dry and itchy from being outside skateboarding all day. Uh huh....riiiiight.:eyes: Well, I let that one slide because I had no proof that he had been smoking pot.

Then one day he and another friend were going to the mall and he asked me for money. I told him he had to take his own money and he had $40 in his wallet, which he told me he took with him. Well, that night we met him and his friend at the mall for dinner. While my husband and I were waiting for my son and his friend to get to the restaurant my husband told me my son had stopped by his office asking him for some money. I told him he shouldn't have needed any money because he left the house with $40 that day. LIGHT BULB MOMENT HERE!

Weeeeeell, my son and his friend finally got to the restaurant and I asked my son why he stopped by his dad's office for more money when he had left the house with $40? He had no explanation. Then I asked him what he spent his $40 on and he had no explanation. Then, his friend LIED TO MY FACE....gave me this big dramatic story of how it could be in his bedroom because they were in there earlier and it could have fallen out of his pocket OR it could be out in his yard because they were sitting out in the yard talking earlier. So, I said, "OK, fine. After we finish eating here we will drive over to your house and find the missing money." ;) By then I KNEW where the money had gone...they bought pot. So, after dinner that's exactly where we went...over to the kid's house and I sat in the driveway and waited and watched while he put on his little production for me "looking for the money that didn't exist.". Alas, they never found the money!! I was shocked! Shocked, I say!:)

So, that night I went to the grocery store and bought a drug test(Man, am I ever glad those things didn't exist when I was a kid!!). I told my son I was going to do a drug test on him and if he told the truth before the test he'd be much better off than if I wasted the test and it's positive.... THEN he confessed to me that he had been smoking pot. I then gave him my speech about how he will never be able to get anything by me because I've done it all and know what to look for.:) Much to his chagrin.

Honestly, I feel like a hypocrite for punishing him for smoking pot because I was the same age when I started smoking pot (of course that was thrown in my face by him and rightly so, IMCPO) and if it was legal, I wouldn't care and even though it is illegal (it was illegal when I smoked too) I much prefer him smoking pot than drinking alcohol.. It doesn't bother me half as much as it does my husband who never smoked the stuff, so really doesn't know anything about it. It's the illegality that bothers me a bit....just a bit. I've told my son that, in good conscience, I could not give him permission to smoke pot because it's still ILLEGAL.

Also, I keep hearing from people (some friends and my sister) that pot now days is much, much, much more potent than it was in my day. Is that true?

Another twist to this is....one of his friend's mom lets her son (the friend) smoke pot at home. He's the same age as my son...14. She gives him money and lets him buy pot. She even took a trip to San Fransisco, Haight-Ashbury, a few weeks ago and brought him back a beautiful new BONG and a one hitter. She smokes herself, occasionally. The kids smoke in the privacy of that (the friends) home with mom's permission. My son told me that one day his friend took his bong down to the kitchen and was filling it up with ice when his mom was there. I honestly didn't believe my son when he said this mom let his friend smoke pot....until she brought him back a bong from Haight Ashbury. She's also going to let the son have a POT PARTY for his BIRTHDAY PARTY!:crazy:

One of my son's High School teachers is a pot smoker too! Kids have seen roaches on the dash board of his car!

What would YOU do if your child had a safe place to go and smoke pot with that parent's permission? I smoked at this age until I was well into adulthood when I quit.....actually, only 2 years before my son was born. I worry that he'll be busted and have a record for something this stupid (innocent, IMCPO). So, want to weigh in on what you would do? What say you, DUers?

[sailor65]

1. Not just no,

but HELL no!

[emilyg]

16. Double hell - NO!!!!!

[xxqqqzme]

2. I have always worried about them

being busted since the current criminal administration is hell bent on locking up medical MJ users here in CA.

I am really amazed at how prevalent & casual lighting up has become.

[devilgrrl]

3. Why? Would you rather them shoot smack?

eom

[xxqqqzme]

8. what does that have to do w/ smoking pot?

[devilgrrl]

11. It's a gateway drug.

Haven't you heard?

[Maine-ah]

68. if anything is a gateway drug it's cigs.

everyone I have ever known that has smoke pot, smoked a cig first.


edited for stupid sentence. I haven't slept in days.

[Mojambo]

4. No. It affects everyone differently.

I wouldn't advise anyone to smoke it until they are done with school and settled into their life.

[JuniperLea]

5. Are you me? I swear... you are me!

Except my ex smoked MORE than I did;) And weed was no big deal to my kids... not interested at all.

We smoked in front of the kids... all are adults now and still tease us for being pot heads:) But none of them do any drugs and are down on friends who do.

I'd feel like a hypocrite too. I think I would monitor the situation, demand truthfulness, and make sure the little bugger kept up on school work and chores, etc. I feel the same way now as I did way back when... if you can do your job well, if you are a very responsible person, if you take good care of your business, I don't give a flying rat's ass how much weed you smoke. If it were legal, I'd be doing it instead of the red wine I've grown to love. I never got a headache from weed:)

Today's weed is a LOT stronger, and a lot more expensive to buy, but not really that much more to use. The old days of $10, four-finger bags are long gone! More like $100 for one finger... but you don't have to smoke a dozen bong hits to get high.

You only get so high on weed. If you smoke more, you don't get more high, you just get less weed;)

Man! I sure wish this was legal. I'd take up the habit and stop all alcohol consumption... not that I do much of it, but still...



Edited to say... the last thing you want to do is to make it 'forbidden fruit'! I'd take the 'all things in moderation' approach, and make sure he kept up on his responsibilities as a testament to his ability to deal. If he can't, he needs to wait until he can.

[porphyrian]

6. I wouldn't be upset about the pot, I'd be upset about the kid lying to me.

Sure, some pot is more potent than what your remember, and there is probably a better variety of it available to kids today, but that is a bullshit propagandist talking point - it just means you don't have to smoke as much to get high.

What I would be worried about if I had kids that were into pot is that it remains illegal, and with such severe penalties for getting busted with it. If you're going to worry, worry about that.

[Rick Myers]

7. Even today's 'generic' pot is more powerful...

The 'good stuff' can be incapacitating!!! Hybrids can have an amazing amount of THC...

I still smoke, and I have no kids so I'm not much help in the advice dept., but you handled it pretty much the way I would...

I agree that pot would be better than alcohol use (at his age).

[bicentennial_baby]

9. Yes, I would let them

I wouldn't provide it or necessarily encourage it, and I would talk to them about sensible and safe marijuana use, but I can't be a hypocrite.

:shrug:

And I would *never* drug test my kid...That's a violation of privacy that I feel nobody should suffer, whether it be from their parent or employer. (Unless you fly planes or drive the school bus, etc., of course...)

[TomInTib]

10. I allowed my sons to smoke at home.

And I do not see anything wrong with that.

Taught them and their friends to roll real efficient joints, too.

My sons haved smoked since their teens and are still smoking in their mid-20s. I never had a moments trouble with either one of them.

[Devlzown]

12. I think 14 is too young.

If he's sixteen or seventeen and under your supervision, I can go along with that. I have a problem with him lying about where his money is going while he's buying his pot. If he's going to smoke the shit, he needs to have a little job so that he can pay for it himself. Sounds like your husband isn't cool with it, though. If he doesn't agree that the boy can smoke his pot at the house, then it shouldn't happen. His views have to be respected as well.

[ileus]

13. Not no but hell no.

[proud patriot]

14. keep the communication open

I believe you can say you would rather he didn't until he was 18,
but are glad he felt comfortable enough to talk to you about it .

My son is 11 so I have no experience with this tactic :shrug:

[Marrah_G]

15. Tell him no and then explain why

I have a friend's son who lost his license, got kicked off his sports team for a season, almost lost his scholarship (they are working class people) to a very. very good prep school that later helped him get into a good college, again with scholarship money.

He almost ruined his life because he and his friends were out getting baked and got caught.

I am all for legalizing pot. I am pro-pot and feel it has many uses.

But for now it is illegal and being caught with it can do some serious damage to your child's future.

[proud2BlibKansan]

17. We told our kids they should wait till they were 18

Don't know for sure if they did but they both knew we had smoked when we were younger. Pretty much same story as yours. Same age too. But our kids are older - 29 and 24 now.

It just seemed smarter to tell them sure they could smoke pot but not till they were older. Saying "never" seemed like it would be too tempting.

[in_cog_ni_to]

21. That's what I told him. When he's 18 he's free to smoke it.

I knew he'd try it some day. It wasn't like I wasn't expecting this. He told me that he doesn't know ANYONE that doesn't smoke pot! He said a senior from the Varsity wrestling team told him every kid on that team smokes pot! It's almost like it was when I was growing up. EVERYONE smoked pot. I could walk down the street and ask a total stranger if he/she had a joint I could buy and never worried whether they were a non-pot smoker or not because everyone smoked it.

[proud2BlibKansan]

27. I told my kids that if they smoked pot or drank under age at MY house

I would lose my job. I am a teacher. Kids getting high at my house would definitely cost me my job. And even though I thought smoking pot was okay, it was still illegal.

I was also always honest with them about it and they knew that their dad and I had smoked pot. All you can do is tell them the truth and hope for the best. If your son continues to smoke pot and gets busted, you will find that the drug laws are lots worse today than they were when we were kids. My kids were stunned when I told them that I was pulled over as a teenager and we were smoking pot in the car and the cop just told us to put the joint out. He didn't even take it from us. And when I was in college, a good friend got busted for growing pot in his basement and he was put on probation and had his record expunged before he was a college grad looking for a job. I told my kids that if the laws were still like that, I would not think that smoking pot was a big deal at all. But you have to consider that getting busted today could very well ruin your future. I think that sucks, but that is the way it is.

I wish it was legal. I was a daily smoker for years and if it was legal, I would still be smoking it every day. It sure beats alcohol.

[in_cog_ni_to]

33. I got stopped for speeding one night and I had a bag of pot in my purse

and it was hanging out when the cop shined his light in my car. I knew the cop (went to school with him) and he asked if that was pot? I said yes and he said, "let me lead you home, follow me." Times have certainly changed. I told my son that his name would be splashed all over the papers and he had to think about his father's business and how his behavior could affect it. There's more than himself he needs to be concerned about. I hope it sunk in. Plus, I tried to explain to him how the hippie days were so different. Everyone smoked pot back then. Business owners, Lawyers, teachers, factory workers, professionals, doctors, nurses....it's just not that way anymore and people don't accept it as readily as they did back then...it WAS the culture. That's not the case now.

If it was legal....I'd have a garden full of the stuff.

[riderinthestorm]

74. This is also for proud -2-be-lib and Marrah G.

Yup, this is what I have told my kids too. That I DID do drugs in high school and colege, but that the culture then was very different about drugs. That the ramifications of drugs are waaayyy different in this fundie/patriarchal society and that it's impossible to erase the consequences of getting caught these days.

I got one daughter through with this logic (she's 20 years old and a senior at IU - Bloomington) - definitely not a pot-head or druggie. Now if I can convince my 11 year old through the teen years.....(snort!) She's a wild one already - I can foretell heartache ahead with her as a wild thang.

Frankly, it's all a crapshoot. How one teen gets through vis vis parental influence vs. peer pressure - who knows. I wish there were some kind of sure fire fix, but that's just idiocracy (didcha see THAT movie??!)

[depakid]

18. Wow, the Nancy Reagan type moralists are sure out on this thread

Much better to be accepting about it (especially if it's inevitable) than to have your teens going behind your back (lying or stealing, etc).

Of course, that doesn't mean bongs for their birthdays or any such thing. Just honest communication and keeping 'em out of trouble as best one can.

[Ghost in the Machine]

19. I think you handled it pretty well... except for wasting money on a drug test.

I'd rather see my kids smoke a joint as opposed to drinking alcohol. They're 14 & 15 now. I was smoking pot when I was 9 years old. Maybe it was being from Miami, or hanging out with my sister's friends. She's 3 years older than me.

If anything, teach him how to use responsibly. That's one thing I told my nephew years ago. You don't have to smoke a 1/4 oz a day or smoke just to be smoking. I use it now for pain, as my neurosurgeon told me that it's the best pain reliever known to man. It works where all the pills they gave me never touched my pain. I can make a 1/4 oz last 2 weeks if I have to.

[in_cog_ni_to]

26. Yeah...I'm guilt ridden over the drug test too. It's still sitting in my closet.

I never did use it and I probably won't use it.

[kath]

49. If you didn't open it up and have the receipt, it's very likely that you could return it

to the drug store...

[in_cog_ni_to]

53. I did open it. I just didn't use it because he confessed first. n/t

[Swamp Rat]

20. I am for the complete legalisation of marijuana

I have no problem with kids or adults smoking pot as long as they are not driving a car, piloting a plane, performing surgery, operating heavy or dangerous machinery, teaching a class (unless it is part of a psych. experiment), on duty police or firemen, defending a client in a court of law, etc.

If find it ridiculous that usage of this plant is legally prohibited.

[BlackVelvet04]

22. I would think that giving permission

or helping a minor buy pot would be considered contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

Sometimes ignorance is bliss (if you get my drift.)

[baldguy]

23. Would you allow your child to drink alcohol? Smoke ciggarettes?

I know many parents who don't allow their children to drink caffine: coffee, cola, sugar-water "energy" drinks or whatever.

Adolecents & young adults have enough trouble fitting into their own skin as it is without the additional burden of mind-altering chemicals coursing throught their veins. If you had said your son was 19-20, I'd have a different opinion - but 14 is too young.

[nonconformist]

24. No, I think 14 is far too young

And I am a smoker myself. I admit that I tried it a couple of times as a teen, but I didn't really start smoking weed until I was about 19.

I have a 12 year old, and there's no way I would allow it at this time (or in the next few years). I'm not naive, and I know that at some point he's just going to do what he's going to do, but I will try my best to discourage it and I won't allow it in my presence. When my kids are much older, I'll tell them about me and my thoughts on legalization, but they're still too young to properly digest that information right now.

As an aside, one thing I would worry about (among other things) with a young teen smoking weed is that it would turn him on to cigarettes.

[SeattleGirl]

25. No, I wouldn't let my kid smoke pot, any more than I would have

given her a cigarette or a drink when she was really young.

She's 27 now, and doesn't smoke either pot or cigarettes; she does drink sometimes. But that's her choice. I would NOT make that choice for her, nor would I have when she was little.

[spanone]

28. triple hell yes

[Blue_In_AK]

29. My three kids smoked pot

when they were teenagers, the youngest one (22) still does. The other two don't anymore (as far as I know). I was always up front with them about my own drug use, past and present. I made sure they knew the difference between pot and other more dangerous drugs. They all have turned out fine, and we have open and honest relationships.

That's about all I can say on that. I certainly wouldn't encourage them to smoke it, but I'd rather have them smoking pot than drinking to excess or doing harder drugs.

[pretzel4gore]

30. drugs can disable....

a child should know that s/he is still growing, like a young tree or something, and drugging the process is something you, and through you, your dependent, should fight against because it's wrong. Too many young people are ruined by drugs, and that's because they think using is abcd adult, brave, cool, defiant, but our culture gives people so much to choose from, and kids should know that while pot is probably least harmful of street drugs (certainly more so then alcohol) still no one would feed a puppy or a kitten any psychosomatic drug, certainly not routinely- that would be cruel. And while a kid can discern more then a cat or dog, the same sense you would expect of the kid in regards his/her treatment of young animals they would also apply to themselves! After they finish school there plenty of time to experiment with dope.
the worst scenerio is if the child uses/abuses drugs to get parent's attention, or to punish them or something kept secret or along those lines...all kids probably like to get high, and would, unless they know the score getting high (disabled) marks against them.

[haele]

31. Pot smoking - well, either they will or they won't - but the lying about the money, now...

That's the big thing.
My mom always told me that you have to pay for your own vices; mom and dad aren't supposed to pay for them - nor are you supposed to use critical basics and bills household money.
If he's using "family money" for something that can get him in trouble - that is, money he hasn't earned for himself, you have every right to start punitive measures. Make that clear. He's responsible for his own vices. And if he's slacking at school because he's out smoking pot with his friends, he has to "pay for that" also.

Just my two cents.

Haele

[in_cog_ni_to]

37. Yep...that money thing got him a lecture. That won't be happening anymore.

:)

[bunkerbuster1]

32. Nope. but then, I didn't smoke until I was 18.

There's no reason to feel like a hypocrite. You have excellent reasons to expect your kid to lay off the recreational drugs.

You did good. Don't let up now. Your boy--and that's what he still is, a BOY--needs to have limits set.

[helderheid]

34. I was once offered pot at 14 (had smoked it before) and was glad when a friend stopped me ...

it turned out it had been laced with cocaine, something I would NEVER try.

[helderheid]

73. send 'em to holland

[cali]

35. I've been smoking pot with my son

since he was 15. He's 21 now, and he's doing great; he's never been busted and he doesn't drink or over do the pot smoking.

[earth mom]

36. In my family, my brothers smoked pot and it lead to harder drugs & a sh*tload of problems

like jail, dropping out of school etc.

So I say HELL NO!

[Ahpook]

38. We allowed it..

We found out our teenager was smoking herb. May as well have been with us at home.

My biggest concern and expressed it over and over was don't go to school talking about it.

[scarletwoman]

39. I honestly don't know what to tell you. I first smoked pot in college at age 18 in 1967.

I raised two boys, and openly smoked around them all through their growing up. So we always talked about it, and I basically treated the subject the same as the subject of alcohol -- that's it's something adults do, and that they could do it when they're adults. I told both of them that I'd be happy to get stoned with them on their 18th birthdays.

I explained why it's not a good idea to do consciousness-altering substances while their brains were still developing, and that they really should get a clear idea of their self-identities before they start messing around with altered states.

My oldest started smoking pot at age 16, but he was honest about it. We discussed not letting it get in the way of doing good in school, of not being stupid about using -- since it IS illegal, and it would be stupid to screw up your life by getting caught. He's 32 now, married and a homeowner, and doing very well for himself. He and his wife and I have a wonderful relationship, we still get stoned together and have a great time.

My youngest tried pot a few times with his older brother, but never much got into it. But he and I got stoned together on his 18th birthday just like I had always promised, and it was a hoot. He graduated from college with a 3.8 grade average and rarely gets high -- usually just with me. What worried me more than anything was that his friends in college were so much into drinking. I always told him I'd rather he smoked herb than get drunk.

I have no advice to give you, I guess. The whole pot smoking thing worked out pretty well between me and my kids, imho, but maybe I was just lucky.

I will say that I think 14 is way too young for consciousness altering, and maybe that's the best tack you could take; that your brain and sense of self needs more time to develop and solidify before you start messing around with altered states. But then again, I never smoked pot (or drank) at age 14. :shrug:

Good luck!
sw

(edited for a missing noun)

[Ahpook]

40. Good advice:)

We figured if he already was, may as well be at home. I didn't want him slinking around with shitty dealers etc.

Safe at home:)

Drug Wars got to end.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmJFasYlfV0

[in_cog_ni_to]

47. Yes. That is very good advice. I'll try that tact with him the next time it comes up...which is

daily. "Mom, please let me smoke pot? I'll be responsible with it." This is an everyday discussion now. I am glad he feels comfortable enough to discuss it openly though. I'm sure he'll remind me that I was 14 years old when I started smoking pot. I think I ended up pretty normal.:) I must say that stopping pot smoking was a cinch! No withdrawals whatsoever after 22 years of smoking it. That can't be said for alcohol and alcoholics or cigarettes! I missed smoking it because I really, really liked it and enjoyed it, but there was no physical dependency at all. It's a miracle plant.;)

[Ahpook]

65. It's a healer

If i ever saw him boozing it up, getting sick, you have to know my concerns would be different?

[in_cog_ni_to]

69. Oh yeah as would mine!

I'd much rather it be pot than alcohol. I have a brother who was an alcoholic. He spent his 20s and 30s drunk. He doesn't drink anymore, but his life was in the toilet when he did drink. It was awful. His breakfast was a beer, as was lunch and dinner. I never saw him sober during those years.

[DaveJ]

41. I don't know about pot, but...

Giving him $40 whenever he asks is spoiling him. Is he old enough to get a job? If you sign a permit? I'm less concerned about him as I am about you being walked all over and taken advantage.

[in_cog_ni_to]

48. Did you read the post? It was HIS money, not mine. He gets an allowance.

He had his own money.

[DaveJ]

51. I see.

I guess whether or not he smokes pot depends on the type of social circles would be best for him as he moves through life. It would be best for him to retain his buddies in the long run (something I was never able to do) but at the same time he would need to be in a position among his buddies that is advantageous to him in the long run. If he goes that route, mental and physical health may be worth considering as well, but at the same time, I know lots of rich and powerful people who destroyed their brain cells early in life so it's hard to say.

[knitter4democracy]

42. Definitely not. Both of them have asthma.

The last thing they need it to put smoke in those lungs.

It's illegal, and getting caught could make all sorts of bad things happen, and that's bad enough, but honestly, the last thing they need to do is damage their lungs more and end up in the hospital unable to get enough oxygen.

[Rex]

43. Kids lie and kids on drugs lie alot more.

Trust me on this one. Pot will alter his personality (like I need to tell you) and so expect him to say and do more reckless things. I would try to talk him out of smoking until in his 20s. Just my 2cents.

[WindRavenX]

44. yes IF

1)Absolutely, positively, NO SMOKING AND DRIVING. At all. OR drive in a car with an impaired friend. I would kick him out of the damn house if this rule was broken.

2)Grades must be kept up

3)Demonstrates common sense with regards to safety and BEING DISCREET about his habit.

Other wise, helllllls yeah!

[immoderate]

45. I wish I had some of the pot I smoked in 1970.

This pot 2.0 nonsense is just ignorance. If people today could taste some of the Columbian Cheeba, Panamanian Red, Acapulco Gold, Jamaican Gange, Thai Stick, or Hawaiian Maui Wowie that I got in the sixties and seventies, they wouldn't touch today's "exotics."

There are several old pot heads on this board that will back me up. Just because these folks were buying crap back then, doesn't mean it's really better now. Don't buy the nonsense that some magical breeding techniques were just discovered. Plant breeding has been going on for thousands of years and pot is no different than, say, corn, tomatoes, bananas, peppers, melons, and many other plants that have been domesticated since the agrarian age started.

As for your kid, every story is different. I was lucky, didn't get into it until my senior year in college. Far as I can tell, it never stopped me from doing anything.

--IMM

[in_cog_ni_to]

50. Yep. I smoked some pretty wicked stuff back then too!

One hit wonder stuff. That's why I was wondering if pot could really be that much more potent than back in the 70s....80s and 90s? How could that be? because we had some pretty potent weed back then.

[Mojorabbit]

57. I agree

nothing now beats some of the stuff that was around in the day. I smoked when I was fourteen. No problem not smoking it either. I did hard drugs before I ever smoked so that gateway thing never rang true to me. My parents knew I was smoking but never gave their ok about it. It was their way of maintaining their distance from the subject. Never hurt me. My neurologist has recommended it to me now and it isn't as much fun to use it like as medication.

[some guy]

46. If I had a child (or children)

I would try to discourage them from smoking pot, even though I did.

Others have mentioned how much harsher the laws are now, but I didn't see any one mention that if your child got busted, and the police decided on that basis to raid your home, and found pot in the home, you as a parent could potentially lose your home.

The penalties and potential losses are the aspects I would focus on in trying to discourage use, with the underlying message being I don't want to lose my home because you want to get high, so if you get high, do it and store it some where else.

Marijuana should be legal, in my opinion.

[leftchick]

52. I believe the 'stronger pot now than then' line is BS!

They said the same thing 30 years ago.

[scarletwoman]

58. I concur. I remember when a single joint could get a whole roomful of folks stoned on their asses.

Except for the "Matanuska Thunderfuck" that I used to get when I lived in Alaska (1989-1965), most of today's pot ain't shit compared to what I smoked in my youth.

sw
:smoke:

[leftchick]

62. two words I have embedded in my brain from 30 years ago......

maui wowie. OMG! Fucked Up!



:smoke:

[scarletwoman]

71. Waaaaahhhh! I WANT some!!!!

Damn. If there's anything worse than living through these bush* years, it's living through these bush* years without decent pot!

sw

[LWolf]

54. No.

My boys did smoke pot, towards the end of high school and for a couple of years after high school. I knew, without them telling me, and I didn't stop them, but I didn't LET them. They knew if they asked, I'd say no, and if it caused any kind of a problem, I'd give them multi-layers of hell. I knew that they'd reached the age that they were going to make up their own minds, and make their own choices. I hoped that they would remember their foundations, and that they'd come to me if they weren't sure about the situation.

They'd seen drug and alcohol abuse close up in their father's family, and were well-educated on all the possible consequences. It worked out ok; they smoked, they drank, they partied, but not so hard that they crossed the line between fun and self-destruction. As adults, they neither smoke anything nor drink anything. Their choice.

My mom thought she was being incredibly liberal when she decided to pass a joint to me when I was 12. I didn't tell her that I'd had my own supply for a year. I never smoked heavily, and was done by the time I was about 17. I stopped when I realized that it exaggerated personality, and not always postively. People who were generally stupid were stupider, people who were loud were louder. I was an introvert, and when I realized that I was spending Friday and Saturday nights curled up in a corner, absorbed in observing my leg twitch, or in the fabric weave of my jeans, or contemplating the obvious supreme stupidity of all of my friends, while they were on the other side of the room having fun TOGETHER, I just stopped. High school was coming to an end, the social circle was breaking up as we moved on to the next part of our lives. I never looked back.

[JerseygirlCT]

55. No

When he's an adult, he can make adult decisions about drugs of all sorts. Right now, he follows the rules. He's been taught pretty openly and thoroughly about drugs, including alcohol and cigarettes. He has no interest in this point in trying. Fine by me.

The lying would absolutely have been a big, fat, warning sign to me. That's a bad thing, and says "time to pay some more attention here!".

YMMV of course, but since you asked...

[Bjorn Against]

56. I don't want to tell you how to be a parent...

But I will say that if it was my kid I would allow it, but put strict rules on it. You probably aren't going to stop him from doing it, but making sure he uses it responsibly and doesn't get busted is important. My suggestion would be to allow him to do it on occasion when he is in a setting where he is safe, but don't allow him to do it just any time he wants to. If your kid feels you are trying to be fair with him there is a good chance he will respect you for it.

The notion that today's pot is more powerful than it was years ago is false. Those "studies" conclusions were arrived at by testing pot that had been sitting in a police storage locker for decades and had lost its THC content from going stale. There was plenty of potent strains in the sixties, just as there are potent strains today. In reality though the quality has not changed much.

[Scout]

59. i don't think teenagers or younger should smoke it...

the brain is still developing into your early 20s if i remember correctly.

i know some people who started smoking pretty young and while it hasn't messed up their lives, i think in some cases it can lead to problems.

i started experimenting with it in college, and became a heavy smoker in my mid to late 20s and beyond. i have quit a couple times, temporarily prior to drug tests, and the worst "withdrawal" symptoms i ever had were temporary insomnia and some irritability.

[wildbilln864]

60. There is nothing wrong with smoking pot...

other than it's illegal! One study concerning a synthetic compound like THC actually showed it was good for the brain. It's only illegal because of politics, greed and the public's ignorance back in the thirties.

http://www.cannabisnews.com/news/21/thread21191.shtml

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

61. No - not because of the intrinsic evil of the substance, but because of the Sturmtruppen. -nt

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

63. I'm smoking pot now.

Honestly, I can understand parents not letting kids. It is illegal, and that is a concern, however how many laws do you break everyday? I'm sure that we can think of some (speeding perhaps?), and in most states, this fine we risk is the same if not more than the fine for smoking weed (in many cases).

Still, it is a decision that should at least be discussed no matter what the intended rule is.

[marlakay]

64. Time for a very long talk

Every one is different. The fact that your husband has never done it makes it even harder as he won't understand. I smoked pot in my teens, heck it was the 70's but I quit in my 20's and didn't have any until I joked to a friend I wanted some for my 50th and last year she brought me some! I wasn't serious but I laughed and smoked the joint with her!! Haven't done it since.

(and by the way I told my kids about the joint last year and they laughed at me..and said oh mom! I don't keep secrets from them now that they are grown up)

My kids are all grown and gone now and trying to figure out what to tell theirs about drugs. My older daughter was into it for about a year in high school at 15 and I was worried because of her attitude and I was single parent with sole custody so I had a couple help me talk to her, now she has two kids and wants to keep them from it.

My younger daughter only tried pot a few times as a teen and never again. Doesn't even drink and she is 26.

Now I have a step daughter in college that smokes pot and drinks and I know my husband has done it with her since she was 18 (the drinking not the pot). At first we had fights about it, now we just don't talk about it and I let him raise his kid. I heard the mom parties with her too.

Personally I think parents that party with their kids are more into making friends with them instead of being a parent. I did stuff as a kid but I am glad my parents told me it was wrong, I respect that.

That being said, I think pot should be legalized and just like drinking over 21 and not while driving.

[BlueIris]

66. No. And I would be sure they knew what sad, pitiful, massively unhealthy LOSERS

I think pot smokers are. That shit is very bad for your health, in addition to being an illegal drug. No child of mine is going to be raised to believe inhaling/eating illegal toxins is acceptable or will be tolerated.

[scarletwoman]

72. Pot is NOT a "toxin"! It's an herb with many life-enhancing and healing properties.

I've been smoking it for 40 years, there's absolutely nothing toxic about it. Alcohol is toxic, marijuana definitely is NOT.

sw

[Starbucks Anarchist]

76. It's so bad for you that it's killed millions.

Oh, wait, it hasn't. :eyes:

However, alcohol, cigarettes and damn near everything else has. Pot's only illegal in order to fund prisons, disenfranchise the poor and minorities, and to protect the pharmaceutical industries.

Believing the myths about marijuana is like believeing the myths of WMDs.

[SmokingJacket]

67. No way.

If he wants to do it as an adult, that's fine, his decision. But getting arrested now will fuck up his life, in big and small ways. Also, he should learn some other coping skills before he turns to substances to relax. (Though if he felt he HAD to have a substance, I'd prefer pot to alcohol.... but a 14 yr old should need neither)

Also, he should be saving his money.

[Stinky The Clown]

70. Its still illegal.

I can't think of any other reason to punish the kids for pot. But the fact is ...... its illegal and puts them in touch with people who do illegal things.

[NuttyFluffers]

75. i love where i live...

:7

sf bay area is a beautiful place.

well, think that at least when it rolls around 6p.m. you can honestly say you know where your child is: relatively safe in some bedroom watching movies suffering from a case of the munchies. think of how many parents now would love that peace of mind?

:evilgrin:

(disclaimer: yes, i am not a parent.)

[alittlelark]

77. My daughter is 13... we've been discussing drugs since she was 11

She knows I smoked pot. She knows that pot is fun but makes you stoooopid for a few days after and makes you get 'the serious munchies'. during these munchie stages one can eat enough calories for a whole week.

She knows a few kids who have tried pot. She may try it some time in the future... it's her life.

I can only give her advice and personal experience.


Fortunately we live in an area w/ a very low drug problem.