'George W. Bush did not submit an actual resume to apply for the position of President of the United States. Instead he made speeches in which he told the American people how he would represent them once in office. I listened to those speeches and I believe he has not lived up to any of his promises or statements. As a result I have taken it upon myself to create a resume for George that I feel is more reflective of the reality of how George will lead if re-elected, or re-appointed. Following is my satirical version of George W. Bush's resume:Objective: I plan on getting re-elected by spending over a $100 trillion-million dollars on TV ads that misrepresent my horrible record, and that falsely distorts and discredits Senator Kerry's honorable record and thoughtful issue positions. If that fails I will go through the "revolving door" to private industry where I will get a very easy job that pays me a ridiculously high salary and has benefits and perks that no one else gets. At my new job I will demand the highest levels of security to protect me from all the people I screwed over while I was President and Governor.
Experience: 2/2001 - 11/2004 - "Puppet" President Of The United StatesLied A Lot To Get Elected, I Mean Appointed, but that was not enough to get the job done, so we had to use every trick in the book, we called everyone who owed us anything, we used my brother Jeb's Florida connections, we used my father's Supreme Court connections, we used all available closely connect Republican personnel to help stop the vote recount (see image 1 below), and we did it, we took control, but only by the narrowest margin, one vote. Karl Rove, Jeb, and Ralph Nader get a lot of credit for pulling that one off.
Passed $1.7 Trillion Dollar Tax Cut for the very rich, including repeal of the estate tax. We hid the long-term cost by sun-setting the provisions after 10 years. Also, I lied to the American public and I told them the people at the bottom get most of the benefits, when in fact, the bottom 60% only got 16%. I got two gold stars for that legislation. (A "Gold Star" means I get an extra $10 million dollar bonus after I go through the revolving door to private industry. Silver Star = $5 million, Bronze Star = $1 million).
Passed $786 Billion Dollar Repeal of the Dividend Tax that will benefit the very rich. I lied and told the American people that this tax cut was affordable, and this was when the federal budget deficits were already skyrocketing to record levels. The American people are so gullible.'
etc:
http://fixco1.com/bushresume.html
Printer-friendly format
Email this thread to a friend
Bookmark this thread
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
