Sacred Cow recieves Humorous side "Shot": Onion

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http://www.theonion.com/content/news/report_school_shootings_help

Report: School Shootings Help Prepare Students For Being Shot In Real World


WASHINGTON, DC—A U.S. Department of Education report released Monday reveals that school shootings leave students significantly better prepared for the random gunfire and everyday killing sprees that await them in the larger world.
School Shootings R

A camera-phone picture taken by a student shows her remarkable ability to avoid the line of fire during her first shooting.

According to the report, students exposed to gunfire during college not only had an easier time finding suitable cover later on in life, but also fared better in a number of high-pressure situations, such as having a rifle cocked to their head...