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"And why is that?" asked Alice, looking at Scooter's cup. "Well, you see there's a guy in the White House who will tell his lawyers not to enforce the subpeonas," said Scooter, as he sipped slowly from his cup. "But, that would mean that the President would be acting like a King!" exclaimed Alice. "Acting is okay, as long as Dick gets to play the part of Queen," said Scooter, sipping deeply from his cup. Alice paused and wondered, and then she wondered some more. And then she thought that she had thought of something that she had not thought of before. "I know, we can impeach him," she said full of glee. Scooter frowned and shook his head, "No, it will never be." "And why not?" wondered Alice aloud. Scooter whispered so softly, "Because the impeachment would draw a crowd." Alice was dismayed and she began to pout.
Scooter asked for more tea and then, most politely, he asked for a cookie. "Sorry, we're all out of cookies. The hare ate them all," said Alice with a pouting face. Scooter sat down and said, "A hare? You let a hare into your place?" "Well, of course, silly, who do you think filled up the tea pot?" Alice said smugly. Scooter sipped the last drop in his cup with a loud slurp, and said "I don't know any hares very well." "Well, hares are not known to be well-known, you know," stated Alice, reassured as she could be. "And why is that?" asked Scooter quizzingly. "Because they're famous for making hare pee tea," Alice said, now her hands upon her hips. Scooter stammered, "I had no idea, why didn't you tell me the hare filled up the pot?" "Pardon me," said Alice, "but you didn't ask me what was in the pot before I poured your cup." "Oh, that's alright," said Scooter licking his lips, now thinking of a cookie. "Maybe now you can tell me about inherent contempt of Congress," Alice said with her forehead furrowed. "Oh, that. I'm not sure, but I think it is when Congress begins to pout," said Scooter, lifting the lid of the tea pot and looking into it. Alice was surprised as she could be.
She thought that she was the only one who ever pouted. "Hmmmm," she wondered aloud, "Maybe I can pout with them." Scooter looked around the room for more tea pots that the hare may have filled and said, "Nah, it's sort of their thing to do alone in a dark room with all the lights off." Alice looked at Scooter and said, "That sounds sort of scary." "Nah, not really, they have cots, and night lights, and such," Scooter said dismissingly, looking at Alice's cup. "It's not really scary at all. Are you going to drink your tea?" "Of course not, silly, it's not really tea at all," Alice said, grinning from ear to ear. "Then, may I please have your cup?" asked Scooter sheepishly. "Sure, as soon as you tell me about these subpeonas," said Alice, picking up the saucer that held her cup. Scooter grimaced and said, "Well, they are papers that ask the people in the White House to appear in front of their Congressional subcommittees in order to testify. Now, may I have your tea?" "Yes, most gladly, good sir, and enjoy it all you can. There must be subpoenas somewhere, stored somewhere in this land," said Alice as happy as a lark. "Well, they won't come, they never do, you know," said Scooter sipping on Alice's cup. Alice looked stern and said, "But, subpeonas are legal stuff, as you well know." "True, true, that's as true as rain," said Scooter never bringing the cup away from his lip.
Alice thought, and then she thought some more. "I wonder if there's a subpoena that is strong enough to make them come," Alice wondered aloud, as she was wont to do. Scooter sipped from Alice's cup, slurping away most contentedly, content not to say a thing. "Do you think that inherent contempt could do the trick?" asked Alice suddenly. Scooter gagged and spit, then exclaimed, "Ahh, no, this isn't 1933!" "Well, I know that well enough," said Alice wondering if Scooter had swallowed a pill. Scooter frowned and stated, "I can't say for sure, but now I feel rather ill." "Well, no wonder that," said Alice, "you've drank two full cups of tea." "Hare pee tea at that," said Scooter frowning, "and my limit is only one cup, usually." Then Alice stated a question that all could hear if they were near, "But, this isn't usual, now is it?" "No, it's not. It's not indeed," stammered Scooter while rubbing his swollen belly.
"That's what I thought when I thought my thought that I hadn't thought before," Alice said to herself because she didn't want the sick old man who had been sipping hare pee tea all afternoon to hear. "These are indeed strange times you must agree," said Scooter. "Oh, I do, I do indeed agree. I think it's times like these that are the strangest indeed," said Alice softly. Scooter looked for a place to barf but couldn't see one and said, "I'll keep it to myself." "I wished you would have had that attitude before you outed Valerie Plame," said Alice, wagging her finger at Scooter. Then Scooter looked down at his big shoes and noticed they didn't fit, "That's what I get for going shopping at the circus." "You're really quite a clown," said Alice before she asked, "Are you or are you not?" "Hmmm, the jury's still out on that one," said Scooter, now with his hand covering his mouth. "Don't let it out in here!" shouted Alice, "I just cleaned up this place." "I won't, I promise," said Scooter barely opening his mouth to speak, "Besides, there is no space." "I don't believe you, so out you go," said Alice as she pushed Scooter out and slammed the door. "I have to get to work now and find out about inherent contempt of Congress," said Alice to the mole, who had been sitting there quietly the entire time and who had heard the entire conversation between the clown and the little girl.
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