Bullied to death

[murielm99]

My husband served on a coroner's jury yesterday. They heard three cases. Most of it was routine, but one of them made him angry and sad.

A sixteen-year-old-boy in a nearby town committed suicide.

He was a socially awkward boy with no friends. Five idiots decided to bully him. Apparently it started during the last school year. This summer, they started calling his cell phone and leaving bullying messages. They sent disgusting e-mails. They told him he was gay. Whether or not he was gay is beside the point. The police have all of those things.

His parents and older sister were aware of the situation. They seemed to be doing what they could to help. His sister went to his summer job in the morning, and checked on him before she left. His parents went to work, too, after checking on him. Everyone thought he was all right for the day.

They found him dead when they came home. My husband did not elaborate on how the boy killed himself.

I hope something is done to the bullies. I hope they are made to pay and pay and pay in whatever way there is to make them pay.

[Mythsaje]

1. A former co-worker's daughter

was being bullied at school. She was hyper-sensitive (like her mother) and she tried to quit school and pitched a fit bad enough her mom was looking into getting her moved to another school. The school counselor recommended a clinic and her mom took her there. They diagnosed her as depressed and put her on an anti-depressant medication (at about five times the ordinary dose).

She wanted to quit taking it after a couple of days, but her mother, believing that she was doing the right thing, insisted she keep taking it.

A week later she took her stepfather's pistol and shot herself in the chest. I was standing across the warehouse from her mother when she got the call from HER father, who lived next door. I heard a shriek and her and her best friend (another co-worker) ran from the room.

It all started with the bullying, but the meds didn't help. And the guilt her mom carries to this day for insisting she continue taking them will never go away.

[murielm99]

2. Anti-depressants can be nasty things.

I don't envy people who need them.

While they help many people, they can have horrid side effects.

I took Wellbutrin for two weeks. It was to help quit smoking. It was quite effective for that, but the other things it did to me made it not worth it. I had to quit taking them because I developed a massive case of hives and wheezing. My doctor made me come to his office immediately to start a round of antihistamines. I don't care if I never see another anti-depressant.

I don't know how anyone lives with the suicide of a child. Friends of mine are suffering with the loss of a son who committed suicide to avoid another deployment to Iraq. The young man was twenty-two. He was a friend of my son's, and my son is still suffering, too.

[Mythsaje]

3. I took something else to quit smoking...

Another anti-depressant. It worked great. I quit for two years. My wife quit for six months.

Quitting wasn't hard at all. Not starting again? Not so easy.

[murielm99]

4. I know that.

I am smoking again, too. And I have a chronic illness.

Stupid, stupid stupid.

[shenmue]

45. Oh please. What's dangerous is *going off* the meds.

All these school crimes have been committed by people who were *skipping* their meds. Nothing can help you if you don't use it and it just sits in the bottle. You have to take it when you're supposed to, with food if you're supposed to, and if you forget or deliberately omit any of these things because you don't like them or don't understand them, please don't bother to blame the drug companies.

I have had a couple of times when I've been too busy at work to stop and take my venlafaxine, or when I decided to put if off because I didn't have time to eat. Let me tell you, a few hours later, when I felt damn near suicidal, I had learned the perils of "going it alone" again. I won't do that anymore.

The doctors are doctors for a reason. They know more about this than I do. The medicines are strong, but then, they have to be.

I think a lot of people just don't like science because they are stubborn and don't want to "be told what to do." You neglect the fact that meds are saving far more lives than not taking them does.

[Cetacea]

57. Google "Effexor withdrawal"

There are thousands of horror stories with some claiming it is harder to come off than heroin. Not to be too off-topic here, but the company(s) making some of these P-tropics need to come clean. And why are not some of these drugs more strictly controlled?

[Sen. Walter Sobchak]

5. schools make it worse,

There was a serious bullying problem at the high school I went to and that was a very long time ago, what was most frustrating is that the school councillors were the worst stereotypes you could imagine, tied die shirts and gray pony tails and throughly convinced that all the bullies needed was to learn how bad they made their victims feel and that would make them stop.

All their efforts really did was make it worse, when they made a really big deal out of a suicide in Riverside that only really emboldened the bullies. Among other things students began bookmaking taking bets on when individual targets would kill themselves.

I can't think of a thing the school administration did that could have made things worse for the students being terrorized. There was a no police involvement policy. So despite the fact the bullies were responsible for multiple felonies the school wouldn't cooperate with the police, on the grounds that they didn't want to ruin the bullies life. Because as soon as the bully figures out how much he is hurting his victims, he will clean up his act and goto Stanford!

Most of these punks were hardened criminals before their voices changed, the only place they were going is jail!

Alot of the bullying was also racial, my school had a large number of Iranian and Vietnamese students, and a whole lot of white trash who though putting the "gooks and terrorists" in their place was patriotic - they didn't appreciate the fact these were in large part the children of South Vietnamese and The Shaws military and government big shots.

Although it is very interesting to see where some of the bullied ended up in life,

A girl who was terrorized by a group of girls went on to be discovered and spent much of the 90's as a model living in London and Milan, she now works as a photographer.

A guy who was terrorized for allegedly being gay is a member of a rock band, very wealthy and married to a bombshell actress.

Another guy who was terrorized for being an AV nerd is also very wealthy and is one of the most highly sought after editors in Hollywood.

As for the worst of the bullies several of them are dead, AIDS, heroin, police shootout and a stalled drive-by shooting. One is in jail for rape another is in jail for beating a guy to death while he was on meth.

One of the leading female bullies went into fetish porn, so basically she gets pissed on for a living, four kids by three fathers, lives in a trailer in Victorville.

I only know of one of the bullies who has done shit with his life and he is still an asshole.

So I guess there is justice in the world,

[Berry Cool]

6. If only someone could get to all of these kids when they are suffering like this

and tell them that the tables often get turned on bullies as adults...that they often end up losers and bozos while those they tortured go on to great success and happiness. That school is not life. That for some of these idiots, it's the only "golden age" they will ever have to look back upon in a life of failure.

And if only more schools would take the stance that bullying simply will not be tolerated, any way, any how. Nothing else is going to stop it.

[ikojo]

9. Some bullies become CEOs and take

delight in laying off many workers so they can make even more money.


We have a culture that rewards those who put others down.

[raccoon]

Yes, and many people still think being a bullying asshole is the way to manage people. nt

[Sen. Walter Sobchak]

38. most bullies are enjoying life at minimum wage with a criminal record,

[Wednesdays]

18. Usually there is justice, but not always

A lot of the bullies grow up to be GOP leaders. Just look at the current occupant of the White House...as a kid, blew up frogs for entertainment.

[Sequoia]

27. That's an amazing story.

I'm glad the bullied got justice after all.

[LWolf]

44. I'm so sorry for your experience,

and so sorry that every school in America, from that point until now, has handled bullying as ineptly as yours did.

Since "schools" make it worse.

Please don't tell anyone that I helped suspend, and then expel, a student this year for bullying others. It would spoil our reputation!

Whatever you do, don't let it get out that my former admin, in a different state, literally chased a high school bully visiting (they got out earlier than we did)our campus to practice his trade, over the fence, across the desert, down a dry wash, tackled him, and had him arrested.

Please do not tell about the people that did all the conflict management training with my last district, and about the TRIBES training with my current district, or all those teachers and schools trying to uphold a standard of mutual respect. The point is, THEY'RE MAKING IT WORSE!

[dsc]

7. That is such a sad story

I don't think there is an honest appreciation of the desperation that a person can feel when exposed to such a campaign. I'll never forget my time in middle school and early high school. I would by lying to say I didn't give a lot of thought to suicide. I felt so alone and was so afraid of telling my family because I knew that the next question would be why do they think you are gay. I hope this boy has found the peace he was so lacking in his life.

[ikojo]

8. My brother was bullied in school in the 1980s

He WAS gay

He never could accept his homosexuality.

He tried to treat his depression using alcohol, saying it was only when he was tipsy that he felt comfortable around other people.

He made his first suicide attempt in 1993 at the age of 29. He did not succeed.

On July 17, 2001 he failed to report to work. His supervisor called him and got no answer. The supervisor then called the apartment manager of the building my brother lived in. The manager called the cops (they both knew of my brother's earlier suicide attempt). The cops were allowed entry into my brother's apartment where they found him dead on his bed as if he simply went to sleep and did not wake up.

We found out a month later at the coroner's inquest that he had taken a lethal dose of the anti depressant Elavil.


The effects of bullying, rather in high school or in the media by way of the fundie preachers orating against gays and lesbians, have a lethal effect for years.

My condolences to all the victims of bullying.

[dsc]

10. I can very much relate to that story

I am a recovering alcoholic. I am 7 years sober now but I drank and drank to drown out my feeling. I am so sorry for your loss.

[RebelOne]

11. My co-worker's son killed himself because of bullying in school.

It happened here in Georgia about 13 years ago. He was 15. He was overweight and the other kids would torment him about it. One day, he took his father's .22 pistol to school. He stood up in class and said, "I'm not going to take it anymore," and shot himself in the head.

[opihimoimoi]

12. Bullys? Look it up...read about Tim Field and his work re bullies.

Google his name...related subjects include abusers and NPDs...

Bullies in school often stay bullies throughout life....they are miserable and wish to spread their misery to others. Low selfesteem seems to be a common denominater....

[Heidi]

13. I look forward to the day when calling someone "gay"

has no more destructive power than calling someone "blue-eyed," "blonde-haired," etc. This story is just tragic.

[dsc]

14. I would love for that to be the case

but sadly it doesn't seem that it is getting all that closer.

[Heidi]

16. There's hope.

I'm 44 and that way I was rasied: people are who they are. My husband, 41, was raised the same way. Also, my goddaughters, 11 and 15, have been raised that way, as has my four-year-old nephew.

:hi: dsc!

[dsc]

19. there are areas where it is getting there

and then there are places like the South. As long as religious conservatives are such a huge population and voting block in this country being gay will matter.

[Heidi]

24. I know, dsc.

See your PMs. :hug:

[NMMNG]

15. I despise bullies and bullying of all kinds

If I had the resources I'd work to implement anti-bullying programs everywhere possible. Too few people understand the impact of bullying on children. It needs to be eradicated for the good of everybody.

[distantearlywarning]

17. Sadly, there are members of DU

who don't understand the impact of bullying on children.

That doesn't give me much hope for the rest of the world.

[NMMNG]

21. I understand it all too well

And I have no tolerance for bullies, those who enable them, or those who belittle their victims and the harm done to them.

[JuniperLea]

36. no tolerance for bullies

i hear that. unfortunately, there are a bunch of them right here on DU... which is why I spend most of my time at dKos these days.

i beat up a bully when i was in the third grade. he was picking on my cousin; she was less than half his size. i wasn't much bigger than she was, and i really don't know where the strength came from... and to this day i can't understand how i found the guts either.

i've never laid a hand on another human being since that time. but i swear... there is something in me that hates bullies... and i bet that unknown strength would come back to me should i find myself in a situation like that again.

[murielm99]

41. I beat up a bully one time, too.

I was in fifth grade and he was in fourth, but he was much bigger than me. He ran home crying. But he picked on my brother.

For awhile after the fight, the neighborhood kids were picking on him instead of the other way around. By the end of the school year, his behavior had become much less aggressive. He was actually nice much of the time! I think some of that was growing up and maturing, not just the aftermath of the fight. Maybe he had the capacity to be a good person after all.

[JuniperLea]

50. I think the bullies and the bullied have a lot in common...

And I think all people have the capacity to be a good person.

Good thoughts, murielm99.

[proud2BlibKansan]

47. And there are some who can't see how the president is bullying all of us

That doesn't give me much hope either.

[applegrove]

20. Hear hear!

[JacquesMolay]

22. Most bullies turn out to be losers...

... and they probably have a good suspicion that's going to be their lot. We shouldn't let them interfere with other kid's lives. Schools should crack down on s*** like that, and if they go to far, slap em in juvvie.

And I was never bullied, btw.

[Akoto]

23. I dropped out of school partly because of this.

I have never had especially good health. As such, I was not athletic, and tended toward "nerdy" interests-- books, computers, games (yeah, D&D player). I'm a nice person, it's just that I did not fit the mold. This attracted quite a bit of attention.

During high school, I developed anxiety disorder as a result of being picked on so much. This eventually made me physically ill, at which point I made the choice to drop out of public school. It was the best decision I've ever made for myself, not because it was educationally wise, but because it probably stopped me from getting to the point of suicide.

People who describe bully-related dropouts as "weak" and "unable to survive in the world" have no clue as to what the daily, unprovoked viciousness can do to your psyche. Six years later, I have only just earned my high school diploma, and I still suffer from anxiety and panic attacks in public places where I'm in the eyes of others.

I'm beating the lasting effects, but it has taken time. I can go out to restaurants and to work without much difficulty, but parties and such are still out. I'm on my way to success in my chosen career. In hindsight, it probably would've turned out better if I'd realized my bullies were small, worthless people who would mean absolutely nothing in my adult life. You don't think like that when you're a teenager, though.

[JacquesMolay]

25. Just keep doing what you're doing ..

... those guys are losers. I've lived longer than you and see how they end up. Just keep working on your end, and you can do what you want to - good luck with it.

[The Doctor.]

49. LOL... you sound like half the guys I considered friends.

I was the D+D player who was also athletic. But I was still slight, and because I was 'pretty', a lot of 'latent' bullies messed with me.

I only dealt with them when I couldn't take it anymore, and I'll tell you, you don't have to be strong, you just have to be tactical. I was lucky to be a little bit of both, but once you see how weak most of them really are, it just gets easier.

I recommend the book "Thick Face, Black Heart" by Chin Ning Chu for anyone who's dealt with these people. It is about self-sufficiency in life, envisioning your destiny, identifying your personal assets and obstacles, and dealing with those obstacles by whatever means. She often quotes the "Art of War", of course, but she throws a little Musashi in there. :evilgrin:

You're on the right track... but GURPS is still WAY better than D+D. :)

[Az]

26. I am sick of the saying "Boys will be boys"

Its almost as if we decided that assault and battery doesn't count until someone is a certain age.

I was bullied as a kid. If anything happened to me as an adult similar to what happened as a child there would be multiple individuals in jail. I experienced rage against these individuals that oppressed me on a regular basis. But I constantly heard the refrain Boys will be boys. I did not grow up in a time where the idea of taking a weapon to school and gaining revenge was around. But I know I had rage and I was not alone.

Bullies should be treated as what they are. Assault, larceny, and intimidation are against the law. Enforce the law.

[Sequoia]

28. Must be an "Excitable Boy"

Warren Zevon & LeRoy P. Marinell)

Well, he went down to dinner in his Sunday best
Excitable boy, they all said
And he rubbed the pot roast all over his chest
Excitable boy, they all said

He took in the four a.m. show at the Clark
Excitable boy, they all said
And he bit the usherette's leg in the dark
Excitable boy, they all said
Well, he's just an excitable boy

He took little Suzie to the Junior Prom
Excitable boy, they all said
And he raped her and killed her, then he took her home
Excitable boy, they all said
Well, he's just an excitable boy

After ten long years they let him out of the home
Excitable boy, they all said
And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones
Excitable boy, they all said
Well, he's just an excitable boy

[Behind the Aegis]

29. Very sad. Even more sad is how commonplace bullying is.

I was bullied all though high school. My 20th reunion was this last month and family asked if I was going. I said; "I didn't like them then. I hated high school. So why would I place myself in a bizarre time capsule to relive some of my most painful days?"

Sadly, the bullying is also seen in everyday life way too often, IMO.

BTW...what is a "coroner's jury"?

[murielm99]

30. The laws vary from state to state.

In Illinois, where I live a coroner is someone who is elected. He or she does not even have to be a doctor. They often have a law enforcement background. (In many cases, they are just political hacks). They do work with doctors and forensic experts. They investigate and rule on causes of death.

In cases where the death is not from natural causes, there is often an autopsy, a report from the coroner and investigating law enforcement officials. Where necessary, the coroner requests a coroner's jury report. This is conducted like a court hearing, with a jury of twelve deciding on an official cause of death to put on the death certificate. It is pretty routine for them to follow the recommendation of the coroner on stating the cause of death. My husband was called up from a pool of jurors, just like one would be in a civil or criminal trial.

In cases that are judged to be suspicious or to be homicide, there is further investigation. The coroner's jury can make recommendations for further investigation, or to send something to a grand jury if they know who is responsible for an unnatural death.

"Homicide by person or persons unknown" would leave a case open until further investigation found an alleged killer, and then the case would go to the grand jury. The "homicide by person or persons unknown" would go on the death certificate. I assume this kid's death certificate said "self-inflicted...overdose, gunshot wound"...or whatever method he used.

All apparent suicides are investigated in this state.

[Behind the Aegis]

35. Thanks for the explination.

I had never heard the term (seems to be happening a lot today, for some reason). It sounds very interesting (BIG Bones fan).

[dsc]

31. I went to my 20th not too long ago

and I am glad I did. I have made peace with my school years and was able to go and be myself and be relaxed. I needed to show myself and them that I made it. I am not rich, nor handsome. But I am respected at my job, respected in my church, and in a good place. I hope things are well with you. I can understand not wanting to go but did want to offer another perspective.

[Behind the Aegis]

34. A very valid perspective.

I know others who have done the same. I am at a very good point in my life; a partner, a home, a house filled with pets, and living in New Orleans, always a dream. However, the selfish part of me doesn't want to share that with those who made my life hell. I am sure many have changed, I know I did. But, I felt it better for me to be happy here. :)

[dsc]

37. my personal life is notable for its lack of sucess

I am glad it worked out well for you. I've been to New Orleans a couple of times and loved it.

[Behind the Aegis]

58. "my personal life is notable for its lack of sucess." Really?

You said: "I am not rich, nor handsome. But I am respected at my job, respected in my church, and in a good place." That sounds pretty successful to me! So you are not rich; few of us are. Handsome? Well, that is in the eye of the beholder. You may not be (insert your idea of a hot celebrity), but I doubt you are sneak up on a mirror ugly..and if you are, well, then you have a face only a mother could love, and there are lots of mothers at DU! :)

Seriously though, being well-respected and finding yourself in a "good place" is, in of itself, success! :toast:

[dsc]

60. true I just meant the dating thing

There are a variety of reasons for it. I have moved several times in the past few years. It is hard to find people in my area as well. Add in a job that takes a goodly amount of time during 10 months of the year and it is a recipe for dating trouble. I am working on it though and I hope to fix it soon.

[aikoaiko]

32. jeremy

At home
Drawing pictures
Of mountain tops
With him on top
Lemon yellow sun
Arms raised in a V
Dead lay in pools of maroon below
Daddy didn't give attention
To the fact that mommy didn't care
King Jeremy the wicked
Ruled his world
Jeremy spoke in class today
Jeremy spoke in class today
Clearly I remember
Pickin' on the boy
Seemed a harmless little fuck
But we unleashed a lion
Gnashed his teeth
And bit the recessed lady's breast
How could i forget
He hit me with a surprise left
My jaw left hurtin
Dropped wide open
Just like the day
Like the day i heard
Daddy didn't give affection
And the boy was something mommy wouldn't wear
King jeremy the wicked
Ruled his world
Jeremy spoke in class today
Jeremy spoke in class today
Try to forget this...
Try to erase this...
From the blackboard.

eta: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gskAeWgEExk&mode=related&search=

[dsc]

33. the video of that song is heartbreaking

[LittleClarkie]

42. When he performed it live, they'd always cut away at the end

because I think the lead singer refused to leave out miming the gunshot to the head at the end.

[baldguy]

39. Harassment is a crime; it should be treated as such.

[Madspirit]

40. k&r...and so very sad...n/t

[shenmue]

43. Sons of bitches

I hate mean people. :grr:

[proud2BlibKansan]

46. How sad

Will there possibly be charges filed?

[The Doctor.]

48. I was lucky. From the age of 6 through 13 I was bullied regularly.

I had some friends, but I was 'outside' of the social curve.

Too many times the thought of killing the tormentors went through my head. But then I came up with creative solutions. I found I had an alacrity for finding people in a vulnerable state as well as a knack for stunning displays of dominance.

Here I was, a slight, quiet kid, shorter than most of my peers... getting back at them quietly and one at a time. The last time this big kid named Pat messed with me in French class he had started just shoving me around and trying to intimidate me when out of the blue I spun around and pinned him painfully to the blackboard in a hammerlock. I let go immediately and no one noticed what happened besides him. He came to me during class and said, "Hey, you know I'm just kidding around... right?" He never messed with me again.

In 'home economics', as I walked past Nick who used to shove me in lockers, I took a sewing needle and jabbed it in and out of his back in one smooth motion as I walked past him. He screamed, looked at me, "What did you do?!" I just shrugged and said "I don't know what you're talking about".

He never tried to put me in a locker again.

I followed Dennis into the bathroom. He liked to throw things at me and push me around in the halls. While he was on the toilet, I opened his stall and poured a carton of apple juice on his head. He couldn't move and just kept saying 'stop!' 'stop!'... until he cried.

He never looked me in the eyes again.

Mark was a loser, no one else liked him either. But he was big and used to bully me. One day he was walking toward me, and just as he started to step into me I spun around and cracked him across the face with my art tube, breaking his glasses. Later in the principal's office, I said I was 'just trying to get away from him' and told the VP I was sick of it. The VP sent me out and talked to the kid, that kid never looked me in the eyes again.

There were dozens I've dealt with, and dozens I haven't. Either way, I was lucky that I found a way to deal with it without going to the extreme of killing anyone... including myself.

Unfortunately, the means to deal with aggressors does not come naturally to most gentle kids that are easy targets. I could never counsel others' children on how to deal, but I will teach my children how to become aggressive where necessary. I fully believe that instilling good judgment and the ability to strike back into your kids can prevent these tragedies.

The bullies in the case your Husband heard would have been far better off being hurt or humiliated then they are having to live with what has happened.

[BreweryYardRat]

51. This is what zero-tolerance policies do to people.

I was bullied badly when I was younger, and the bullshit zero-tolerance crap the schools and my parents shoved down my throat made me too scared to fight back. Oddly enough, despite complaints, the schools never did anything to the bullies.

I almost wound up like this kid.

This is why I will instruct my future kids to fight back, no matter what. And if they can't fight back for some reason, I'll act on their behalf. I hate to sound like an internet tough guy, but if some spoiled brat's severely and constantly bullying my child, I will have no qualms about arranging for a shallow grave out in the woods somewhere.

I have no intention of letting my children wind up as emotionally damaged as I am.

[dsc]

52. as a teacher I understand the charm of zero tolerence

but I agree that they are a huge mistake. I had this argument with an administrator once and it got fairly heated (we were friends so it wasn't job threatening) but he wouldn't back down. I think the biggest danger is that often bullies have way less to lose from the usual suspension than the victim who often is counting on college to get out of the horrible place he finds himself in.

[undergroundpanther]

56. You are right DSC.

Bullies don't care,they aren't concerned about anything other than being on top.

Bullied kids are often sensitive,gifted creative and in bad homes.

A bullied kid has a LOT more at stake with school than a bully kid EVER will.
Bullies are social wastes, they are bullies because they are nothing inside.So they be somebody they get a rush by beating the life out of the different kids.And that is how our society works too. by predation and parasitism by the aggressive empty souled trash bullies, inflicting domination upon the gifted gentle hurting and creative to make them diminish and sadly sometimes diminished to the point they kill themselves..
The bully is a predatory vampire upon the brightest and most noble kids.

I hate bullies.They grow up to be adult assholes.And I still HATE them.

[IndyOp]

53. Your statement is way out there...

"A shallow grave in the woods" is only necessary if you don't take appropriate assertive actions way, way in advance of getting to such an extreme.

You can help your children handle a bullying situation way before it becomes "severe and constant bullying" by planning to check in with your kids often, educate them about bullying so they know they can come to you, and plan to work with teachers, the other parents, law enforcement if the need arises - they aren't all perfect, but you can work with them if they can help or move your child to another school if they turn out to be for shit.

Thinking about extreme actions is a refuge for people who are afraid they can't handle a situation before it becomes extreme.

You can handle whatever happens long before your children are emotionally damaged - at all.

Bullying: A Parent's Primer & The Bully - a free ebook

More... http://www.thebullybook.com/

[DarkTirade]

54. The only way the school can enforce a zero tolerance policy involving violence

is if you agree to it ahead of time. They've started sending home a note for the parents to sign at the beginning of every year, agreeing to things like the dress code and non-violence policies. If you refuse to sign it, then the school can't enforce it. And if they try, you can take them to court.
My little sister was being stalked by some guy when she was in middle school, and at one point he actually physically cornered her. Her only option at the time was to smack him with her schoolbooks to force him to move aside. She found out afterwards that the only thing she was ALLOWED to do at the time according to the school rules was to go find a teacher. Problem being: She was physically cornered. It was IMPOSSIBLE for her to find a teacher. She couldn't move. So if she'd been seen doing that, SHE would have been expelled and her stalker wouldn't have gotten in trouble.
But as long as you don't sign that piece of paper, as long as you don't sign away your child's right to protect him or herself, then the school cannot enforce it. And every time a school tries to and is taken to court, the court always sides with the child's right to defend him or herself. Unless they've signed that agreement.
Schools have started reverting to tactics like punishing the children if they don't get the paper signed. But if you call the school and tell them in no uncertain terms, or better yet, write your own note telling the school that your child is allowed to defend him or herself and staple it to the unsigned paper, then they will usually back down. And if they don't... well, then I'm sure threatening to take them to court will do it. Despite what the school system may think, children still have basic human rights. And the right to defend oneself is among them.

[undergroundpanther]

55. Bullies

Need to have someone step up and beat the living shit out of them.

Until these assholes feel threatened PERSONALLY they do not stop.

That's my experience with them.
Until our culture stops excusing domination does away with cultural hegemony and tosses out patriarchy and kills the whole concept of privilege it will not stop.But one way you can stop a bully is by speaking to him in the language he speaks. Domination and submission. Top his ass and make it HURT bad.And make him aware the next time he bullies someone it will cost him dearly.

I was a bullied kid .In second grade A kid bullied me for 6 months..everyday.. one day I had enough and I stabbed that bully kid in the back with a fork. Yeah,I tried better ways to resolve it,I talked to teachers the principal, anyone,but they did not help me. I realized was on my own. But being shamed for fighting back after I stabbed him by teachers that refused to help me resolve it ,just fucked my mind up.. I sucked up and took the abuse again for years.Again I tried to tell the teachers but they did not help me like usual.Sometimes the abuse was happening right in front of them!! I took it ..until I again realized I was on my own,and I could not take it anymore.


I became very suicidal by time I realized I was on my own,I didn't care anymore . So I began fighting the bullies,and I did it dramatically and violently,they'd punch me and I'd just laugh and it scared them,than I would chase them grab one and do something like lift him by his neck and throw him down,bite him...

I had some friends who were bullied too.We banded together and defended each other.And I cracked the bullies heads every time they were starting shit around me. There would be the ring of watchers, I'd bust through it fast, in a run,grab the bully by his face as I was running,screaming shit like I was going to pull his intestines out of his putrid ass,growling and slam him against the nearest wall and bang his head repeatedly on it and throw him down.And walk away.. I caused minor injuries but the drama of it was what was so damn effective . ..By that time I was cutting my arms alot and that just freaked the bullies out even more seeing my arms cut up and bleeding
By that time I was going nuts from the trauma and stress..

Soon the bullies were so scared of me they'd shut up when I walked past them.They knew I was watching,they thought I was crazy. I didn't care what they thought,they left me and the smaller kids alone.That's all I wanted.
I figured if the teachers didn't care who would?

[dsc]

59. that is so sad

I am glad you saved yourself from the bullies' harm but you shouldn't have had to use those measures. We do what it takes and you made it and that is what counts.

[Luna_C_06]

61. Damn

Sh!t like this is just so pointless.....I hope he can find peace somewhere, somehow.