When did anyone decide it was always a virtue to "say what everybody else is thinking"?

[Berry Cool]

This thought comes to me on occasion, and I thought I'd pose it here.

Sometimes it is a great thing for someone to have the courage to speak up and say out loud what many others may be thinking but not be saying. That's what we learned from the story of the emperor's new clothes. Sometimes only the brave or the naive can be truly trusted to acknowledge a blatant wrong that should not be allowed to continue, but that no one else has spoken out against. And they are to be praised.

But how many fools, charlatans and downright asshats have used this as their explanation and excuse for saying whatever comes into their heads, no matter how stupid or nasty: "I'm just saying what everyone else is thinking!"

I have a couple of problems with that explanation:

1. How do they KNOW everyone else is thinking what they just said? Is everyone else really as stupid or nasty as them? Or are they just hoping/assuming that is the case so they won't look so bad? ("Asshats of the world unite: you have nothing to lose but your feelings of isolation!")

2. Even if everyone else IS thinking what they just said, or a lot of people are, does that mean it's worth saying? Uncharitable, negative thoughts come into everyone's head from time to time. We're all human and such things are out of our conscious control. And, yes, at times we have all succumbed to the temptation to assume the worst of someone or something else. But a person who has been raised to be thoughtful, caring and decent realizes that not all of his or her uncharitable, negative thoughts are worthy of being given speech. Some are just better not spoken because they will cause more problems than they solve. Some are proof positive that one is not seeing all sides of an issue or putting oneself in another's shoes, and to open one's mouth and speak them would only give proof to that being so. (Better that one should ask oneself "What am I not seeing? Why do I feel this way? Am I not looking at every angle of this?") And some don't deserve to be spoken because they are just plain mean and hurtful, and nothing good is to be had by voicing them.

It seems to me that a lot of people who pride themselves on "saying what everyone else is thinking" not only way overestimate the stupidity and nastiness of others, but also believe there is an inherent virtue to opening your mouth and saying whatever thought happens to have entered your brain, no matter how half-baked, evil or downright dumb. I don't think there is. I think some thoughts deserve to be left unspoken, and that while I would never move to censor another, it might be nice if some people installed a buffer between their brains and their mouths, so that before they opened them to speak what no one else has said, they did a better job of asking themselves things like "Why HASN'T anyone said this before? Is there, perhaps, a GOOD reason it hasn't been said, rather than only bad ones?"

What bothers me even worse is that we have enabled people to become rich and famous on the sheer basis of being willing to voice whatever they think--the more shocking and offensive, the better. The ability to violate societal norms and "shock" everyone by speaking the unspeakable has given them both attention and admirers.

Maybe in a backhanded way they're doing us a favor, because by saying the things they say, they're giving others occasion to explain why what they said was full of crap, and this may serve as a lesson to other boors. Still, I believe what ends up happening is that decent human beings spend way too much time simply having to defend their own decency, which wastes time and energy they could expend on promoting causes in which they believe.

To me it seems like opening their mouths and letting the sewage spill out is yet another diversionary tactic the right wing uses against anyone they hate or fear--along with out-and-out lies. While I agree that this garbage should not go completely unaddressed lest the impression be left that it is acceptable, it seems to me that one of the ways they achieve their ends is by keeping their opponents so busy washing off their mud, in addition to correcting their lies, that they exhaust anyone who tries to challenge them. Those who take the higher ground, by not slinging mud or telling lies, have no time to get their message across, because they are constantly in defensive mode.

I can't remember now who it first was who said that shocking statements always get attention--but then again, so do two dogs copulating in the street, and we don't call that virtuous. It really offends me that anyone should say the things some of the loudest mouths on the far right say and receive money, fame and honor for the great virtue of their "bluntness" and their "honesty."

ed: typo

[Marnieworld]

1. The early 90s

Or was that rhetorical? ;) Seriously I noticed it around the time Clinton was elected. Those first 100 days of office- all the pundit chatter was so organized. Then the whole 24 hour tabloid news thing reached zenith with OJ in 1995. Throw in the fairnees doctrine eliminated and the creation of giant media monoliths and Bingo! 5 companies with one self-serving message. have you seen "Outfoxed" yet? You'll never see media the same way or hear the phrase "Some say" without knowing that your observations are 100% right.

[Berry Cool]

2. I haven't, but I read the book.

It's on my "should see" list.

[ret5hd]

3. Man...You're saying EXACTLY what I was thinking!

;)

[Cooley Hurd]

4. "Some people say..."

...courtesy of Faux News.

[petronius]

5. That is often just a cover for asshattery and bad manners

Kind of like people who pride themselves on their "honesty"...

[Bluebear]

6. It is total arrogance.

Usually from someone so incurious, so unaware, that they think everybody MUST be thinking the same things that are floating around their little minds :)

[Reterr]

7. k&r.eom