Who wants to contribute to a right wing email response?

[liberal N proud]

Here is the email I received from a republican I know. I am contemplating the response and all contributions are welcome:

The World's Shortest Books

The World's Shortest Books:

FRENCH WAR HEROES
&nb sp; By Jacques Chirac


THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
By Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan.
Illustrated by Michael Moore

MY BEAUTY SECRETS


By Janet Reno


MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS &
HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA
by Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL

By Hillary Clinton

Sequel:

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY
By Bill Clinton

MY LITTLE BOOK OF
PERSONAL HYGIENE
by Osama Bin Laden


THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
by Bill Gates


THINGS I WOULD NOT
DO FOR MONEY
By Dennis Rodman

THINGS I KNOW TO BE TRUE

By Al Gore & John Kerry

AMELIA EARHART'S
GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC


A COLLECTION of

MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
By Dr. J Kevorkian

ALL THE MEN I HAVE LOVED BEFORE

By Ellen de Generes & Rosie O'Donne

GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
By Mike Tyson

THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY
MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
By O.J. Simpson



HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE OVER BRIDGES
By Ted Kennedy



MY BOOK OF MORALS
By Bill Clinton
With introduction by The Rev. Jesse Jackson
*******************************************************

AND , J UST ADDED:

Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy!

By Nancy Pelosi

[Faygo Kid]

1. The Compassionate Conservative - George W. Bush

About as short as it gets.

[Seabiscuit]

27. "How I Demonstrated I'm A Uniter, Not A Divider" by *

[illinoisprogressive]

2. Days of wine and roses by GW Bush

[illinoisprogressive]

3. Your guide to Valium by Laura Bush

[The Wizard]

4. Republican Ethics and Morals

all blank pages

[illinoisprogressive]

5. Crime and Punishment by I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby

[rocktivity]

6. I wrote these a couple of weeks ago--I they owe me a royalty payment

Dreams From My Father by George W. Bush
How To Win Friends and Influence People by Karl Rove
The One-Minute Manager by Michael Chertoff
The Elements of Style by Ann Coulter
I'm Ok, You're OK by Bill O'Reilly
Mein Kampf by Bill Clinton
The Wit And Wisdom of Dick Cheney

:headbang:
rocknation

[illinoisprogressive]

7. Vlad the Impaler, an autobiography by Dick Cheney

[AnnieBW]

8. Republicans You Meet In Heaven

Deep Thoughts, By George W. Bush

Treating People With Respect, By Dick Cheney

My Brilliant Career in the Senate, by Fred Thompson

How to Make A Marriage Work, By Rudy Giuliani. With a forward by Newt Gingrich

Intelligence Successes, by George Tenet

Alberto Gonzalez's Guide To The Constitution

[mcctatas]

9. Your complete guide to pet care...

by Mitt Romney and Bill Frist

or how about

The Vampires Guide to Daywalking
by dick cheney

or maybe

George Bush's Guide to Hard Work
(ghostwritten by Alberto Gonzales)

[liberal N proud]

10. All excellent

Thanks

[illinoisprogressive]

11. Picture of Dorian Gray by Karl Rove

[Jack Rabbit]

12. How to keep a secret

By Dick Cheney, Scooter Libby and Karl Rove
Foreword by Richard Armitage


Family Values
By Newt Gingrich


The Truth we told about Iraq
By G. W. Bush, Richard Cheney and 35 other Bush Junta leaders


The Wisdom of Neoconservatism
By William Kristol


My Contributions to American Journalism
By Roger Ailes

[Seabiscuit]

15. "I Never Met A Loofah I Didn't Like" by Bill O'Reilly

[Jack Rabbit]

17. Law and Order

By Alberto Gonzales

[Seabiscuit]

22. "How I Guaranteed Perpetual Republican Rule" by KKKarl Rove

[CBHagman]

13. It takes a lot of cheek to write the last one.

Look, Bush strutted like a peacock in May 2003 under that "Mission accomplished" banner. Today I read that 105-115 people, most of them women, children, and the elderly, were killed by a car bomb in Iraq.

The administration has no idea whatsoever what it's doing in Iraq. As usual, Bush will leave his messes for somone else to clean up. This time, however, it's costing thousands of lives.

[Seabiscuit]

14. How To Start And Win A War/How WMD Claims Boosted My Credibility by *

[HawkerHurricane]

16. How about...

Honest Republicans 1960-2008

Republican Victories in Warfare 1898-2008

Building Alliances by GWBush (Ghostwritten)

Restoring Honor and Dignity to the White House by D. Cheney

[Dogmudgeon]

18. Drug-Free for Life! by Rush Limbaugh

When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Powerful Friends -- Karl Rove

How To Murder Your Boyfriend -- Laura Bush

True Love Waits: The Teen Chastity Handbook -- Jenna and Barbara Bush

Sobriety: Mission Accomplished -- George W. Bush

If Life Is Just A Bowl Of Cherries, Why The Fuck Do I Have Cancer? -- Tony Snow with Laura Ingraham

Cute, Blond, Naughty and Christian -- Monica Goodling and Kellyanne Fitzpatrick

How To Get Over The Loss Of A Love (In 30 Days Or Less) -- Theodore Olson

Personal Responsibility: Why Liberals Hate It -- I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby (with Marc Rich)

Honoring Our Nation's Wounded Veterans -- John E. O'Neill and the Swift Boat Liar's Club

(There's probably more in there.)

--p!

[treestar]

19. OR

FRENCH WAR HEROES
by: Napolean Bonaparte

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
By Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan.
Illustrated by Michael Moore

What's wrong with this book? LOL, the right wing reveals itself!

MY BEAUTY SECRETS
By Janet Reno

Shallow assholes. How about the same "by Barbara Bush?"

MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS &
HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA
by Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton

LOL, name any right wing fundie and you have irony right there!

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
By Hillary Clinton

Sequel:

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY
By Bill Clinton

How about, "STILL MARRIED AFTER ALL THESE YEARS" unlike many republicans, by Bill and Hillary Clinton

MY LITTLE BOOK OF
PERSONAL HYGIENE
by Osama Bin Laden

or by Newt Gringich "My Struggle to Look Remotely Acceptable, Much Less Handsome"

THINGS I WOULD NOT
DO FOR MONEY
By Dennis Rodman
as CoWritten by Newt Gringich

ALL THE MEN I HAVE LOVED BEFORE

By Ellen de Generes & Rosie O'Donne
With Foreward by Laura Bush and the First Mrs. Gringich

HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE OVER BRIDGES
By Ted Kennedy
With Foreward by Laura Bush


MY BOOK OF MORALS
By Bill Clinton
With introduction by The Rev. Jesse Jackson
As annotated by Newt Gringich, Scooter Libby, etc.


Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy
by Draft Evaders Dick Cheney, Dubya Bush and all other Republicans

[Seabiscuit]

20. "A Compenium Of Business Ethics" by Kenny Lay

[Seabiscuit]

21. "Famous Negoes I Have Met While Yachting Off Kennebunkport" by George H.W. Bush

[SalmonChantedEvening]

23. Being Unfunny and Even Less Hip by Dennis Miller

[SalmonChantedEvening]

24. The Art of the Creepy Massage by G. W. B. n/t

[Jed Dilligan]

25. "Hair Tips for Men" by Trent Lott and Mitt Romney

"How to Win a War" by Donald Rumsfeld

"Lessons from History" by George W. Bush

"The Virtues of Fidelity" by Rudy Giuliani

"Dating" by Condoleeza Rice

[Blue Belle]

26. Love Means Never Having to Change Your Dress by Ann Coulter

or "Minimizing make secrets - how to shave inches off your adam's apple" by Ann Coulter

[mcctatas]

29. Possibly one of the best so far...

[devilgrrl]

28. My stab at it...

THINGS WE'VE DONE FOR OUR COUNTRY
by Jenna & Barbara Bush

MY BEAUTY SECRETS
by Lucianne Goldberg

MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS &
HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA
by Barbara Bush
foreword Bill O'Reilly

MY LITTLE BOOK OF
PERSONAL HYGIENE
by Rush "Anal Cyst" Limbaugh

HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE OVER BRIDGES
by Bruce "Mallard Fillmore" Tinsley

MY BOOK OF MORALS
by Jack Abramoff
With introduction by Ralph Reed

ALL THE MEN I HAVE LOVED BEFORE
by Ann Coulter

[CanuckAmok]

30. Jeez, why bother?

It's a list that looks as if it were penned by a pair of ten year old boys.

[twenty4blackbirds]

31. Protecting our spies, by D. Cheney, I. Libby, G. W. Bush

D.Cheney and G.W. Bush are also in the process of writing a self-improvement book titled, The Buck Stops Here.