At what age do you think it is appropriate to give your child a cell phone?

[RamblingRose]

My daughter is going into the 5th grade and already several of her friends have cell phones. She constantly asks for one but I tell her not until she is much older. I explained to her that she doesn't need one because I won't let her go somewhere where there is not an adult present and that if there is an emergency she can ask to use their phone/cell phone. When she goes to a friend's house I like for her to call me when she gets there using their home phone to that caller ID let's me know she is where she is supposed to be. If she needs to talk to a friend I tell her she can wait until she gets home and call from our home phone.

I can see where cell phones can be a necessity for older kids, especially when they start driving. I have heard police talk about the dangers of teens talking and driving and that cell phones contribute to teenage parties where alcohol is involved. I'm no prude and attended several of those parties myself as a teenager. However, we had to plan ahead and let everyone know in advance where the party was going to be and not drive around all over the place.

She sees commercials advertising "fee cell phone" and I explain to her that that is only for the cost of the phone but not for the use of the phone. My husband and I have basic Virgin Mobile cell phones without any 'bells and whistles' and pay a flat ten cents a minute with no contract.

[BOSSHOG]

1. 35

If I had a daughter she would be locked in the basement until about that age. I guess I'm a neanderthal but kids don't need cell phones. How did we ever survive without them?

[HereSince1628]

2. My daughter's 31, SHE would think it inappropriate if I bought one for her.

I've never used a cell phone and she knows it. She wouldn't want me to be making stupid decisions about the phone she'd be using.

[BOSSHOG]

7. I don't have a cell phone, I refer to them as a leash

If I want someone to get a hold of me, I'll make it happen. My wife has a cell phone (for emergency purposes.) I couldn't argue with that. I have a cb in my truck in case I get in trouble on the highway. And in an entirely unscientific survey the conversations I overhear are comprised mostly of "whatsup?" "What are you doing?" "Where ya going?" "Who ya with?" I guess I live a sheltered life.

[HereSince1628]

16. I appreciate that, I don't want to be joined at the ear to anyone, either.

While I can see convenience, utility, and even safety arguments for them in a age of few or no public phones, I've never personally felt the need to have one.

[wakeme2008]

3. IMHO it is OK at her age for a pre-paid cell

Allows you to contact her and her you, plus limited call time for friends. After a couple years then a regular one.

[FloridaJudy]

12. I've had a pre-paid cheapie for 5 years

It has no bells or whistles: I only use it for emergencies. That works just dandy for me, and I'm 60. There's no reason a kid needs more. Begin Elderly Rant: In my day, we had only three channels, and you had to get up and change them, we didn't have cell phones, etc. ad nauseaum...

[Raven]

4. When she's old enough to drive...or maybe vote.

Cell phones cannot replace knowing where your kid is all of the time or at least most of the time. I have a friend who has a 14 year old daughter who ran up a $200 bill in one month on text messaging. That was the end of the cell phone for her!

[Buzz Clik]

21. Exactly. Cell phones for teens are mostly just toys.

Very expensive toys they don't pay for.

[TahitiNut]

53. I agree 100% ... it's electronic faux-parenting, imho.

:shrug:

[blondeatlast]

5. I have a fifth grade son who wants one, too. We've told him no

until he can learn to use the land line properly (including common manners) and can keep track of his Nintendo DS and the games. He sees the same commercials but understands now that because his dad's phone is essential and provided for his work that those plans don't make sense for us. I have a flat 30 minutes a month (unlimited nights and weekends) and if I use often don't use more thatn 15 minutes.

Seemingly all of his friends at that age have them, but I see it as unnecessary for many of the reasons you state above.

Not to mention, I want him to APPREICATE these things. One thing I can say he has over his friends is his appreciation for what he does have.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

6. I don't have a cell phone.

I think they were invented by Satan and are only used correctly when you use them for testing sledgehammers. Out on the few streets of my small town, I find myself being passed by kids on bikes talking on cell phones. Pretty expensive cell phones. I pass groups of kids hanging out and half of them are talking on cell phones. I hear parents defending giving cell phones to their kids, all the time. To keep in touch. On the other hand, I have heard some pretty expensive stories about the kids cell phone bills, too.

C'mon. This has gotten silly. Really.

I have gone much of my life without being tethered to a boss, a mother, a family or hyperphasic friends by a cell phone. I have driven all over the country a number of times without a cell phone. Didn't scar me at all.

Frankly, I think that the corporate money junkies have done a fine, fine job of programming the American(and World) telecommunications consumers. And now, everyone has a GPS locator on them for the government to find them and a microphone to bug them. K3w3L d00d. r4wK.

[Coexist]

8. as soon as you need to get in touch with them when they are away

for awhile, I gave my children MY cell phone, when they were old enough to ride bikes to the store or blockbuster. Again when they went to the movies with their friends. But then I was stuck at home.

So I purchased my middle-schooler a pay-as-you-go plan. She still uses it - she gets phone gift cards for her birthday and holidays from relatives, or does chores for more minutes. My son got his when he was an 8th grader, too. He hardly uses it. She would stay on it all day if she had minutes.

I like it because I can text them at school (or vice versa) about if they have a ride to practice, or need to be picked up - they turn their phones on during lunch and can read, reply or send me info.

I don't know how my parents raised teenagers without them. If they are running late, and I am worried, I know I can instantly get in touch withe them.

Good luck with your decision.

[KharmaTrain]

9. When My Kids Earned Their Drivers Licenses

Cellphones are a blessing and a curse, as you well know...especially when it comes to kids. It becomes not just a status symbol, but also a parent's best friend when your kid calls after school or that you know you can dial 'em up anywhere. The balance is determining how mature your children are and how responsible they will be with the phone. And also with a car.

My kids...just like their parents...have a rule that prohibits cellphone in the front seat (even the passenger) while the car is moving, and our state laws are real tough on teen driving offenses (many areas are pulling teens over for talking and driving), but again, it all starts with the maturity of the child and that they learn not only the value of the phone, but the downfalls of it.

Also, setting up a reward system for minutes wouldn't be a bad idea. My friend did this with his kids. Just like an allowance, they get a certain number of minutes to use a week/month and it increases or decreases depending on how well they do in class or if they've abused their privilidge.

I resisted having a cellphone for years, and use mine sparingly. I believe in laws that restrict talking while driving...my biggest nightmare is the mom in the van loaded with kids, talking away on the phone, suddenly cutting a U-turn...or the bastard on the interestate flying at 80mph, chatting away and aiming, not driving.

Good luck with your kids. IMHO, fifth grade is a bit young as most times you should know who and where your kids are...but once they become mobile, it can become peace of mind.

Cheers...

[Dogmudgeon]

10. Any age they can use one

Many plans allow for restricting the phones' use.

I don't see what is so terrible about children using technology. From the sound of some of the posts I read (in general -- this thread has been pretty tame), you would think a cell phone was a never-fail sex aid and/or a devotional object for the Church of Satan.

Phones, computers, bicycles, pets, friends -- anything a child can learn responsibility with is a good thing.

--p!

[Marrah_G]

11. Mine did not get one until they could pay the pre-paid minutes

They earn the money to pay for it, or they don't get one. That's how it is in my house.

[notadmblnd]

13. after his dad died, I gave my son one

he was 10. It wasn't for the benefit of his friends, but they call him on it to. I like to think of it as my leash. I use it to call and check on him all the time. If he doesn't answer that phone when he is out of the house and I call... there's going to be some explaining to do. For the most part -there was that one time he jumped in the pond to pull out some boys who had fallen through the ice with the phone in his pocket, instead of calling for help- he's taken good care of it.

[hang a left]

14. I bought one for my youngest when he entered middle school

It was more for me than him. I had anxiety about the move from elementary to middle school and the changes that accompany it.

[hippiechick]

15. 16

n/t

[Buzz Clik]

17. We found that 14 years old was too early to even borrow one.

We received a call from the police when one of ours was making crank calls with the cell phone and scared a poor old lady. She busted them, and deserved so.

Maybe 16, but then they stupidly talk on the phone as they drive -- and they already suck at driving.

Don't buy them a cell phone. Let them borrow one every now and then.

[RamblingRose]

18. I would think they are a nightmare to schools and teachers! n/t

[Omphaloskepsis]

19. Don't inactive ones retain the ability to call 911???

If that is true I would try to score a free old used one so they could call the police if they needed help.

But for calling friends.. Hell no. Maybe a pre-paid one and they have to do chores for every minute they get.

[SoCalDem]

20. a personal phone? never

an extra "family phone" when they need a ride home, or are going to be apart fromt he family, maybe..NEVER when they are going to school..

but then that's just me..

I remember when pagers wre the in thing when my boys were young..We had many tearful (them) ranting sessions with teens angry as hell when we refused to let them have one :)
They all survived :)

[DemBones DemBones]

50. Amazing how they survive those things, isn't it?

The most screwed-up young adults I know are those who got anything they wanted when they were kids.
There are public figures and celebs like that, too, as we know all too well.

Every child deserves to have some of the things she wants, but not all of them.

[MadHound]

22. When they're no longer in my house

Frankly I'm tired of this upcoming generation of kids who are constantly plugged into their cell phones, while having absolutely no regard for the people and actions going on around them. If I had a nickel for each group of teenagers that I've seen, all walking in a group, all on their cell phones interacting with a machine rather than the real life flesh and blood humans around them, I would be a rich man.

And as an upcoming teacher, I find the damn things more than a nuiscance, they are a detriment to learning. Going off in class, surripticeous texting, filming the class on the sly, the cell phone is a bane to education. Frankly, if your I spotted your daughter's cell phone in my class, she would be depositing it with me every morning when she came in and picking it up when she left.

Cell phones are one of the worse developments that our modern technology has brought about, and the negatives to our society far outweigh the positives.

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

23. I bought them for my sons when they entered middle school. It was more for my well being

and peace of mind knowing that I could contact them.

[blogslut]

24. You're the parent

So, it's always your decision.

That being said, I gotta give some love to the ever-wonderful $20.00 TracFone. A 60-minute pre-paid minutes card costs $20.00. That way, the kid can't go crazy with the minutes. No plan. No commitment.

[mondo joe]

25. Depends on the kid and their situation. There are cell phone with limited numbers

that can be called that I rather favor for my older daughter, now turning 12.

[aikoaiko]

26. 5 th grade is fine depending on how you do it.

Some kids phones allow only 4 or 5 numbers to be called (911, home, other family, emergency neighbor, etc).

Prepaid phones minimize abuse and you can see whether or not you child is using it responsible enough for a real phone in a few years.

And don't forget that some phones come with GPS tracking. While you might think your child is allows with a parent or responsible adult, by 5th grade she'll probably start testing her own independence.

[Bunny]

27. I got my daughter a children's cell phone when she was 9.

It's the kind of phone where you pre-program up to four numbers + 911. That way, she can't make phone calls to anyone other than me, her dad, her sister, and the babysitter.

She goes to her dad's most days in the summer. He lives in a trailer park, and she runs around the park with her friends all day. I like her to have her cell phone with her in case anything would come up.

One day when she was in the fifth grade, there was a mix-up as to where she was supposed to go after school. She mistakenly started walking home by herself. She got confused about which street to take, and got lost. She used her cell phone to call me for help, sobbing the whole time. I was able to get her sister and her babysitter looking for her, and she was found within minutes. The phone paid for itself with that one incident.

She will be eligible for an upgraded phone in a couple of months, and I'll go ahead and get her a new one at that time.

[riderinthestorm]

45. My daughter got hers at 9 too

Same kind of episode prompted it's purchase - a scary incident with my workaholic husband who tends to lose track of time.... I was out of town and my husband was supposed to pick our daughter up after school. He forgot and she was alone on the playground for more than 3 hours after school (yes, teachers and other parents asked her what was going on and she kept responding that her dad was coming to get her so she just kept playing by herself on the playground).

He finally came in for dinner and realized that he had forgotten her. He raced to the school and she was all alone on the playground crying by then. She got her own phone 4 days later when I got home. She's had it two years now and has never abused it, not once. It's wonderful knowing she can always get a hold of us, I can text her messages about plan changes etc.

As a side note, since her sister was getting a phone I also had to get one for my other (then) 17 year old daughter. Same thing - she never has abused it and I love the ability to always connect with her especially since she is away at school now. With those family calling plans, those calls are always free too!

[The2ndWheel]

28. The womb

Possibly at conception. That's negotiable though.

I'm surprised they're not hooked up at that point.

[Mend]

29. as soon as they know how to punch in phone numbers...

I see it as an added safety device. Does she take the bus to school? Do the parents of the kids she visits ever leave the house? If there is a catastrophe, I would want my kid to have one with her. Didn't we read that they just found the body of that poor abducted girl by her cell phone signal. I don't doubt that the idea of her becoming a teenager is a bit daunting but not buying her a phone won't keep her a kid longer...nothing will do that.

[LWolf]

30. It depends.

If you could get a cell phone that had no games, no text messaging, and could only call parents, grandparents, and 911, and take calls from parents or grandparents, 5th grade would be fine.

If the phone is going to come with all the bells and whistles, please don't.

I'm tired of confiscating cell phones in class, used for text messaging friends instead of completing assigned tasks.

[City Lights]

31. We got them for our kids when they entered middle school.

The after-school activities they're involved in don't always have pre-set pick-up times, so a cell phone makes it convenient for them to call for pick-up when the event is nearing the end. They also commute more now via foot or bicycle, and carrying a cell phone allows us to keep in touch no matter where they are.

They know the phones are to be used primarily for safety purposes, so they don't abuse their privilege by running up minutes. Before buying them phones, we discussed our rules, and their level of responsibility in having one.

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

32. Right Answer? Whenever The Parent Wants. No Real Age Other Than Old Enough To Use One Is Necessary.

Nothing really wrong with them having one. Times have changed and as parents there are certain things we have to adapt to even if they seem odd to us based on how things were when we were kids. I see no harm in cell phone use but what age is appropriate is best left up to each individual parent. There is no real age or guideline as to what age is right. It's just up to when you feel like it's right.

[displacedtexan]

33. The summer after 8th grade.

Before then, kids need to focus on reading books and playing outside
(or getting involved in after-school activities), instead of wasting time
on the phone.

After the 8th grade school year, parents are so sick of playing receptionist
that a second phone line (or a cell phone) starts to sound appealing.

Just my personal experience.

[derby378]

34. Not sure...

I'm not Amish by any means, but I concede they have a point. The more you possess technology, the more it will possess you.

Not that technology isn't a wonderful thing, mind you - used wisely, it adds years to our life and life to our years. And it makes communication between us much easier. But it can be used to turn us into a bunch of untermensch couch potatoes, too.

[SheilaT]

35. There are a lot of sensible

suggestions here, covering a wide variety of ages and usage.

I didn't get a cell phone for my own use until twice in three week's my younger son's school was trying to reach me because he was sick and needed to be picked up. I was a "stay at home mom" which meant I was anywhere but home and difficult to reach, unlike a woman with a job who could reliably be reached at her workplace.

Schools can legitimately forbid phones to go off in class and confiscate ones that do until the end of the day. Or if used for text-messaging.

I have found having a cell phone to be enormously useful countless times. My sons have both used theirs to call me after being in car wrecks (no one was hurt in any of them, fortunately). Yes, they can lie about where they actually are, but you can enforce sanctions if they don't answer the phone when they should.

And as sad and tragic as this sounds, that young woman Kelsey Smith who was murdered here in the Kansas City area last week, was carrying a cell phone. And while it didn't save her life, it meant that they were able to find her body rather quickly.

[momster]

36. When She Starts Dating

which around this house is 16.

At least, that was always my answer. However, now that circumstances have changed...she's going a ka-zillion places this summer with some activities that last all day and are weather-dependent aka it rains it's over, and sometimes goes to the movies with a couple of other girls, and...and...
and...she's getting a cell phone at 14. Now to convince her father.

She's not someone who yaks on the phone for hours, as she is known for being both terse and business-like ('Yes, page 300, questions 1 through 6, anything else?, okay, bye.') so I don't think the minutes thing will be a problem. She already knows that we will pick her up at any time for any reason. I want her to be able to call us at any time for any reason and not have to 'borrow' or knock on a strange door to use a phone in an emergency. (Remember that college girl who was killed when she borrowed a phone from a man who turned out to be nuts?) I want her phone in her pocket with a panic button. Kidnapped people have been rescued thanks to their cell phones when they've called from car trunks or remote locations. And though I hope the worst never happens, communication is key to survival in so many situations from mountain climbing to sailing to...heaven knows what.

[OnionPatch]

37. Whatever age she needs one

You can get all kinds of cell phones and even program them to only call certain numbers. When my daughter reaches a stage where she is spending a lot of time at extra-curricular activities, I will get her a cell phone. To be honest, I think it's the answer to many a parent's prayers. For her to be able to contact me in a flat second during an emergency really would calm my fears. Of course there will be rules, and driving while talking will be way up on the list of no-nos.

[Sweet Freedom]

38. My daughter wants one because her friends have them

(she just turned 9). But, I've pointed out to her that her friends who do have cell phones do not have their parents around like she does. Fortunately, I'm either with my kid or I know where she is. Some of these other kids her age are relying on older siblings for transportation, etc. or are going home to an empty house, so in those situations, I would say yes.

If it isn't a necesssity, then it's just a gadget that costs money. :)

[TygrBright]

39. As soon as they are old enough to use it responsibly.

That is probably different ages for different kids.

I'd start with one of those very limited ones that allows calls to other phones in the family network but limits other calls. Then work up to one that has a certain number of minutes per month and won't allow the phone to be used for other than emergency calls once the limit is used up, and doesn't allow fee-for-service 'extras' like text messaging and calls to pay-per-call services and music downloads, etc.

When the kid is old enough to earn money, I'd split the cost with them, paying for the basics but having them pay for the extra minutes, services, etc.

When they're old enough to head off to college or full time job I'd stop paying anything and have them get their own service.

Good thing I don't have kids, huh?

cynically,
Bright

[donco6]

41. I agree with you.

It's not the having of the phone that's a problem, it's the using of the phone. If they can't use it responsibly, they don't need it.

[porphyrian]

40. Whenever they can pay for it themself. - n/t

[BlackVelvet04]

42. Never.......

I don't think a cell phone is a necessity, especially for children. If she wants one she can get one when she gets a job and pays for it.

[Matsubara]

43. We only just bought our first cell this year, and we are thinking of cancelling it.

We never use it, and have never thought of it as a necessity. (We got it because a friend talked us into a "deal")

We never remember to bring it with us.

My kid's in 4th grade and they are not allowed at his school , so it's not a problem.

In your case, I would say - wait until she is 12, then get her a prepaid phone and let her buy her own minutes, so she will appreciate the cost.

[cally]

44. I got one for my daughter at that age

She didn't abuse it then since few of her friends had one. We had just moved from a very safe neighborhood where all her friends were. I let her still go the neighborhood and I felt safer knowing she could reach me at any time.

[BlooInBloo]

46. When they can pay for it.

[Javaman]

47. I thought about it and said screw it and put one in her crib. nt

[DemBones DemBones]

48. I'd say when she gets her driver's license, and hope that by then

it will be illegal to use a cell phone while driving! If it's not, the voice-activated ones will surely be standard so she won't be dialing when driving.

Of course, she wants a phone now because her friends have one but what if instead you started a savings account for her in which you would make a monthly deposit instead of paying the monthly cost of a basic cell phone? Then she could see how money adds up and earns interest and might even decide that a cell phone isn't worth the money. I think it's worth a shot.

If you put in $20 a month, that's $240 a year, and by the time she starts tenth grade, it would be $1200, not counting the interest. (I'm doing the math in my head, so check it.) I don't know if a pre-teen or teen would actually keep their cell phone bill down to $20 but I had to choose a number to work with. You're the one to decide how much money to put in her account if you try this. I'm also assuming she'll be 16 in tenth grade but if she's not 16 until 11th grade, you can put off the cell phone question another year, until she starts to drive.

If she decided not to get a cell phone when she got to tenth grade but kept saving, she'd have a nice little sum ($1920, not including interest) to put toward a car of her own when she graduates, or she could buy clothes, invest in a money market fund, take a trip to Europe, etc. If she decides to get a cell phone when she starts driving, she'll still have the money saved up to that point to use toward a car or whatever she wants. In either case, she'd have something tangible while her friends would have nothing to show for their years of cell phone use.

Money is usually a good motivator! If she's too impatient to wait years, she might like having $240 extra every year to spend on clothes (or an iPod or whatever the next fad is.) Especially if you say she can have the money but no phone until she's 16 or 17. Who wouldn't take the money in those circumstances? This is not a bribe, though, it's a lesson in money management, and very generous of you since you're determined not to give her a phone now. ;-)

Good luck! It's hard not giving in when "everybody else" has something or is doing something but at some point everyone has to learn "You don't always get what you want, And you don't always want what you get, But if you try, sometimes, You get what you need." :hippie:

[w8liftinglady]

49. I gave one to my youngest son,who is 10

I want my kids to always be able to reach me-especially since sometimes I am not home when they come home from school.I want to know if they miss the bus,if they are sick or scared.MY boys know the limits-no cell phone use while driving,no unlimited text messages.If my bill goes up,they get their phone priveledges suspended.It has worked for me.

[kineneb]

51. depends on family situation: Land lines vs. cells

Many people around here are getting rid of their land lines, and only have cells for calls. A responsible child in that situation should have their own limited use phone. We keep our land line just for incoming calls and sending faxes, and use the cells for all long-distance calls (as long as we keep under the monthly hours). It also depends on how your phone carrier bills calls.

If the child is involved in after-school activities that take them away from home, a cell phone might be a good investment.

[seabeyond]

52. not going to need to get one for mine cause all the kids will have them, and

he wont need his own. i have 12 and 9 yr old boys. told them long ago i wasnt going to be paying for a cell phone for them. they have access to school phones if they need me. they do not need to be making calls during school hours and after school they have our home phone. two cell phones enough in this family. my kids have a lot of "things". they are far from being deprived. but i am conscience of the societal demands of wants that feed our children and i refuse to allow children to participate in these areas. i simply say no. they are not playing the games of "joneses" with clothes, shoes, cell phones, tv in rooms, ect.... often/occassionally i tell my children no simply so they learn they do not get all things. that sometimes we do without

cell phones is one of the things i have said no to.

[NaturalHigh]

54. Oh boy...

You've touched on a subject near to my heart. My daughter will be in the sixth grade next year and has been begging for a cell phone for the last year. I've put my foot down so far, but I'm getting a little worn down. Since she is actually going to be making a little money working for my parents this summer, I've considered buying her some sort of pre-paid phone and making her buy the minutes.

[SeattleGirl]

55. My daughter didn't get one until she graduated from high school.

I didn't think it was appropriate for her to have one before that.

[Zookeeper]

56. Every family is different....

Because my daughter has Type 1 diabetes, I wanted her to always be able to reach me. I bought her a cell phone when she was 13 (nearly two years ago). Then I decided it would be helpful to have another phone that her older and younger brothers could use when they were going somewhere where a phone might not be available. Finally, I broke down and now they each have a cell phone. They all have been very responsible about tracking the minutes and number of text messages we share.

I can't begin to tell you how helpful these cell phones have been in keeping track of two teens and one almost-teen.

[AlCzervik]

57. my daughter is almost 13 and she got one, her new school is much further away from our house

than her last one so she has it to call me if she's getting out early or late and the like--so far no problems and no big phone bills, there is a set of rules that she got with the phone and she follows them.

[Siyahamba]

58. idk, my bff jill?

Older than the girl in that commercial, that's for sure.