Peanut butter an athesist worst nightmare

[Windy]

and I thought I'd seen everything!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZFG5PKw504

[Az]

1. Wait!? I thought it was the banana

An atheists real nightmare is the destruction of reason as a means of advancing society.

[JoePhilly]

15. It's clips like this one that make me feel like one of the liberal elite. /nt

[dave_p]

16. Banana myth exploded

My last banana curved away from my face, thereby disproving any intelligence.

And it was upside down. What sort of design is that?

[Az]

19. Toss Kirk a wild banana instead of a domesticated one and see what he make of that

[insane_cratic_gal]

24. mmmm peanut butter and banana together!

but anyway aren't they forgetting where the peanut butter comes from? peanut shell with life in it? Which is created from light and... wait even heat is required!

Or maybe I just don't get it.

[renie408]

2. Whatever. Until you have been an atheist living in South Carolina, you don't KNOW what

a real atheist's nightmare is.

[youngdem]

14. As a lifelong atheist from Southern Louisiana, I hear ya!

Back in high school, I had a BEAUTIFUL girl pick me up in high school and ask me out to a movie, and when she picked me up, off we went to the church to watch the movie. Ugh, I think, but ok...

So, the movie is pretty normal and we get along fine, and she invites me to go to church with her on Sunday. Ok, I say - thinking with the wrong head.

So, we walk into this cavernous walmart style house of Jebus or whatever, and about midway through the service (right after the hands stopped and fell off my watch), they all started talking in tongues - including my hot date!

I felt like I needed to recreate the shower scene from The Crying Game. It is among the most disturbing things I have ever seen. I was truly horrified - there I was, jaw on the floor, standing unaffected as 500 people writhe around on the floor and in the pews talking gibberish and saying biblical mumblings and screaming 'Yahweh' with their eyes rolled back, shaking, trembling....it was completely insane.

But these same people would always treat ME like a freak for not having an invisible friend, and for not rolling around on the floor trying to swallow my tongue.

[Neecy]

27. that speaking in tongues thing is really odd...

In the mid 1980's, my local paper ran a blurb about a Lutheran church in the area that was looking for volunteers to deliver hot meals to AIDS patients.

Figuring I could fit in some time before or after work, I called and the pastor invited me to come down. Now, I've been in some Lutheran churches and figured they were probably fairly cool, and if they were feeding AIDS patients they had to be pretty tolerant, no?

I went in and was waiting in the pastor's outer office, browsing through the literature, and there were at least 100 pamphlets displayed that had subjects such as wives being submissive to their husbands, the evil of homosexuality - I expected to be hit by lightening when I saw that - and a whole row that dealt with this speaking in tongues business. I was about to bolt when the pastor came out and started hitting on me to attend his church. I said no, I'm just here to volunteer for the AIDS food delivery. After spending several months at this church, hearing the frenzied speaking in tongues thing many, many times I finally couldn't stand it any longer.

Oh, and the AIDS patients? Not one was a gay man. They were all heterosexual women, not that I cared. Need is need. But strange that in the San Francisco bay area they didn't have a single gay male client, especially with so many cases at that time.

[insane_cratic_gal]

25. hahaha

Nc is pretty bad too.. bible belt! Starts right Va and keeps right on going.

I thought I was out of it when I moved to PA, except I found eastern portion of the bible belt.

[3waygeek]

3. It's this atheist's worst nightmare...

ever since I spent an entire summer in college living on generic PB sandwiches, I can't stand the sight or smell of the stuff :puke:

[benddem]

4. has he ever heard of

mold? That's new life. These guys are really pathetic.

[Critters2]

8. I was thinking bacteria, but same diff

Trust me, leave that peanut butter jar open long enough, you'll get plenty of new life, of one kind or another. I'm not an atheist, and I know this.

[slowry]

5. You can laugh all you like, but this is a fact.

Assuming the Earth is a hermetically sealed jar of peanut butter.

[Az]

6. You forget one component

Earth is already inhabited by life that is consuming and processing all the resources that a new form of life would require to form. Even if something did get initiated we would never know about it because it would get consumed from the start.

Abiogenesis is possible in a pristine environment (devoid of life) but once something does start the process of life it consumes all the basic resources that gave rise to it. The atmosphere has changed drastically from when life arose and is maintained by the biosphere. That is life now creates the environment rather than basic nature.

[Downtown Hound]

7. You mean if I shoot lightening into peanut butter then

Dinosaurs won't come crawling out of it? My God! Everything I've been taught about evolution is a lie!

Do I really need to add the sarcasm logo?

[Windy]

22. hahahahahahaha

oh my god, that's great!

[rug]

9. Then what the hell are those crunchy things?

[gollygee]

10. Why did I watch that?

Does he actually believe that or does he just hope his audience is really stupid?

[NoPasaran]

11. I think he makes some really persuasive arguments

For me to poop on!

[nini]

12. LOL

that about sums it up!

[gobblechops]

13. It is my worst nightmare

That I have to rely on people who think like this to run our government.:scared:

[Coexist]

17. one of my kids once left the lid off of the peanut butter - AND

let me tell YOU!

There was some life growing there - apparently FIRE ANTS totally evolved from my Peter Pan.

[dave_p]

18. Peanut butter is my worst nightmare

Awful stuff. And reminiscent of a TV story in which someone got glopped to death by something very similar. I suspect it is alive, and very possibly of extraterrestrial origin.

[cynatnite]

20. Proof again that religion is harmful...

my head hurts now.

[gravity]

21. And I thought bananas were scary

[SalmonChantedEvening]

23. Damn Skippy! n.t

[insane_cratic_gal]

26. I'm crying i'm just laughing so hard

:rofl:



But what can I say .. 1 jar of Skippy and I'm a believer!..

Maybe the peanut butter companies better start marketing their products in a different manner.

[countingbluecars]

28. Darn chemical preservatives.

[Mr_Jefferson_24]

29. Sure like to see this guy as a guest on Colbert sometime. nt.