Need some help here!

[Stargazer09]

Okay, Matthew will be three years old next month, and he's just been diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum.

We finally found a pediatric ophthamologist with enough patience to really see why Matthew's eyes are constantly looking in separate directions. It turns out that his vision is pretty weak, his eyes are having trouble focusing, and he needs glasses. We now have glasses for Matthew, and we have a two-year warranty against breakage on those glasses (always a good thing with young children).

Unfortunately, Matthew refuses to wear them. I've been wearing glasses since age 12, and I have played around with the fit to ensure that they fit him as comfortably as possible. It doesn't matter. He will wear them for maybe a minute before he throws them to the ground and runs away.

I know that there is probably a huge difference in what he sees between his "normal" vision and with the glasses. However, it's been more than a week, and he is still refusing to wear them. I was told that he'd WANT to wear them once he realized that he could see better with them, but that isn't the case with Matthew. I haven't been pushing him; it's been mostly a game after diaper changes for him to put his glasses on and smile at me. But shortly after he puts them on, he takes them off and runs away. He needs to start wearing them soon, because his crossed-eyes are getting worse, and I'm worried that the muscles will just continue to weaken if we don't get him back on track.

Any suggestions? Should I strap them to his head and try to force the issue? Should I continue to play games with him and hope that he starts wanting to wear them? Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated!!!

[goddess40]

1. it's probably a sensory issue

I don't have asperger's but glasses always felt like they weighed a ton on my nose. Are they as light as they can be? I've paid the extra to get my boys the feather-lights - one has NLD and the other Asperger's. Even then just having them on would be irritating.
They also have sensory integration dysfunction and both of my boys had tantrums when we went from pants to shorts or for a change in sleeve lengths. Their diets are dictated by food textures. You might need some guidance from an occupational therapist that deals with desensitization.

[Stargazer09]

2. You may be right

I did get the lightest, toughest lenses I could, but his prescription is pretty strong. They are nice frames, with the nose pads instead of without. Those little nose pads are so much more comfortable for me than the full frames resting on my nose.

I'll ask his therapists today for more ideas. One of his teachers said to force the issue with him, but I don't think she realizes that we can't "force" a whole lot of things with Matthew. He can be stubborn when he wants to be, and I certainly don't want to make him hate wearing the glasses altogether.

He did wear them for a record five minutes this morning, though. He put them on and started roaring like a dinosaur at me. Don't ask me why, because I don't know what the connection is between glasses and dinosaurs, but if it made him want to wear his glasses, I'm okay with that. :)

[goddess40]

3. Teacher's don't have a clue usually

unless they've had personal experience. If I were to bet it would be against forcing the issue and for making a big deal when he leaves them on for any amount of time.

Maybe he roars because with the glasses on his eye muscles are tensed and he feels powerful. Try focusing like your giving someone the evil eye. It makes me feel more aggressive, like there's more weight there and pulling me forward - I might be full of you know but it's worth a try.

[idgiehkt]

4. Is there maybe a superhero or cartoon character that wears glasses he can

identify with? Like Clark Kent in Superman? I don't know if he is maybe too young but that is the only thing I can think of.

[mzteris]

5. I remember when

I first got glasses. I could NOT wear them at first - they made me feel nauseated!

I called the eye doc, and they said I should put them on first thing in the morning when I woke up before my eyes got used to "being without them". . . I did what they suggested and it was fine.

You may have to BRIBE him to put them on and leave them on in the mornings for a while - set a time limit - 5 or 10 minutes the first day and increase it by increments - gradually more and more until "all day".

He gets "stickers" for every DAY he complies - and then let him get a BIG prize (go to a movie or ice cream or something he likes) for compliance with one week. And a REALLY BIG PRIZE for compliance for a month. Let him pick a toy he really really wants that you'd ordinarily not buy (like a $25 Batman car :) ).

Find the right incentive.


Or - I just had a thought - you might want to have the doc double check the subscription - sometimes they get them "wrong".

[Stargazer09]

6. I never heard of that!

I've always been near-sighted (unable to see distant objects), and I've never had trouble with feeling nauseated when putting on my glasses.

However, Matthew is far-sighted (unable to see closer objects), so maybe the glasses do make him feel woozy. He certainly acts like the glasses really bother him.

Thanks for your insights!

[Stargazer09]

7. We tried the strap yesterday

Mostly due to desperation, because nothing else has worked so far. Bad idea. He ended up breaking the arm off of his glasses somehow, and now we are waiting for the replacement frames to come in.

I've been asking everyone I know for advice, and pretty much everyone has told me the same thing--he'll wear them when he wants to do so. We just have to wait for him to do it on his terms. One lady at an optical shop suggested that we try giving him aspirin or Tylenol before having him wear the glasses, to help relieve the headaches they may be giving him. I'm going to try that once his new frames come in.

Thank goodness for the warranty!

If anybody else has advice to help us with this, I would really appreciate it.