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The Perfectionism streak of Aspies

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bleedingheart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-23-06 12:07 PM
Original message
The Perfectionism streak of Aspies
My son is such a perfectionist that if he can't do something really well, he doesn't like to try or even practice. He is so obsessesed with being perfect that it kept him from riding a bike for almost 3 years until I finally got a bit tough and wouldn't let him go in the house one day for hours until he kept trying his bike. (this was during the fall...and there wasn't much time left to ride)
The next spring he goes outside and he gets his bike and he enjoyed riding it. He had 2 bikes he outgrew before I could get him to confidently right the third which was purchased because he grew taller... (all the other bikes went to my daughter..since she lags behind him in height)...

The same goes for writing or homework. If he can't do something perfectly he won't, or he will waste reams of paper trying to get something to look "just right".

We watched Monk on TV one night with him...and without us saying anything my son said..."oh ..I am not as bad as this guy"...it was a very comic moment for us.
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BlueStorm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-12-07 08:42 PM
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1. I get that way with my artwork...
There have been times that I wasted a bunch of paper and gotten myself exhausted because an arm or an eye is not perfect. There have been times that I would complete an entire picture only to find something wrong with and in an attempt to correct it, I would mess up the picture and have to start a new one.

Blue
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Kajsa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-13-07 11:29 AM
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2. My son has that streak,also.
He'll throw away wads of paper trying to "get it right".
He's learned to temper that behavior a bit at work- he had to.

Hang in there, you have lots of company here!

:hug:
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-13-07 07:23 PM
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3. Same here.
If I think I can't do it, I won't bother. I can also easily get so hyper-focused about every little nuance I will keep on a project for hours. Persistence. Often a good thing.

As a child, I did pick up bicycle riding fairly easily. Crashed often (I've always had balance problems, which are worse these days) but I kept going. One day I crashed and scraped blood on the chin and when I got to the store people were gawking and gaping. I didn't see why until I got home. The perfectionist in me wanted the item THAT badly.

These days I'm not as much a perfectionist. (dark humor) The 4 times I've actually attempted suicide I ultimately stopped short. Seems there is still a spark of hope within me after all. :)

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goddess40 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-15-07 08:54 AM
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4. Drives me crazy some days
My oldest went to the pre-kindergarten screening, he was reading and doing simple math but I didn't think he was ready emotionally nor could he color or tie his shoes for school so I wanted another opinion. While he was doing some "home-work" which consisted of drawing some shapes, when he drew the square it was very good but there was a small gap between the beginning and the end - this elicited a melt-down. He threw himself on the ground an yelled "My career is over" and not too much has changed since then - He graduates from high school this year (I hope).
It took him three years to learn to ride a bike.

My youngest just couldn't bring himself to try to ride a bike, but it was more of a sensory issue. He was terrified when I'd try and take him for a ride in the child seat on my bike when he was little, he was positive we were going to tip over when I convinced him to try the allycat (third wheel bike you attach to the seat post of a regular bike) but he finally is riding now that we got him a three wheel recumbent. The added bonus is that the other kids think the bike is cool.
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