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Breaking: Pentagon to test bunker busters on the sewers of Hamtramck, MI -

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politicaholic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-11-06 07:52 PM
Original message
Breaking: Pentagon to test bunker busters on the sewers of Hamtramck, MI -
Asphyxiated Press
Detroit, MI - Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld announced the Pentagon's intention to test a small tactical nuclear warhead on the predominantly muslim Hamtramck, Michigan in preparation of the 'wildly speculative' happen-stance that President Bush gets a wild hair after a long night of bourbon and Jesus and decides to attack Iran in what is now being called Operation Fantasy Land.

"We decided on Hamtramck for its tactical and scientific qualities," Mr. Rumsfeld said in exclusive interview with the Fox Penny-saver. "It would send a message to Iran that we are seriously chomping at the bit to use our new toy and at the same time be able to test the effects of small tactical nuclear warheads on a large concentrated population of muslims. We care about hitting innocent citizens and believe we have gathered enough evidence to prove that these devices are NOT capable of killing anyone but terrorists."

Experts from the conservative think tank freerepublic.com speculate that though there will be a large explosion and many buildings will be destroyed, the population will remain relatively benefited by the whole event. "We project that the blast will blow the Muslim right out of them and leave a space for democracy to take root in their currently black souls." said think tank uber-genius, doctor of applied Mengelism, Dr. Jim Freeper.

The test is scheduled for 15 minutes ago.

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Skip Intro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-11-06 07:53 PM
Response to Original message
1. "Asphyxiated Press"
Edited on Tue Apr-11-06 07:53 PM by Skip Intro
:rofl:
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babylonsister Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-11-06 07:53 PM
Response to Original message
2. Creepy. nt
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peacetalksforall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-11-06 07:58 PM
Response to Original message
3. I hope Muslims understand our humor. Very clever. Unfortunately, we
Edited on Tue Apr-11-06 08:00 PM by higher class
have to consider that we shouldn't even have to think about clever rebuttals and criticism.
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TallahasseeGrannie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-11-06 07:58 PM
Response to Original message
4. I dunno
I'm just having a hard time laughing tonight. Maybe it's just me. But thanks for trying.

T-Grannie
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SharonRB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-11-06 07:59 PM
Response to Original message
5. Actually, Hamtramck isn't predominantly Muslim
Dearborn is.
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FogerRox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-11-06 08:10 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. good one-- LOL
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Faygo Kid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-11-06 08:18 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. Hamtramck is traditionally Polish.
(Insert ethnic joke here). You are right about Dearborn.
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notadmblnd Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-11-06 08:44 PM
Response to Reply #5
8. My thought was... what happened to all the Polish people?
I know there was a little stink a few years ago about the muslim call to prayer there, but you're right Dearborn is predominately Arab. In fact if I'm not mistaken Dearborn has the highest concentration of Arabs outside the Middle East. Hamtramick is actually pretty diverse now days.
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Lefty48197 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-11-06 09:51 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. You're right
Many of the Poles have moved out, just like most of the other Whites from Detroit. They were replaced by Blacks, and apparently recently there has been a lot of Muslims moving there. I'm not sure where the Muslims came from. I have heard that the Dearborn Muslims mostly came from Lebanon.
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politicaholic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 11:10 AM
Response to Reply #5
10. Hamtramck is a far funnier name...
I'm just sayin'.
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