"I am the law." Free Associating with George Bush during an NSA briefing

[dave29]

Why do these people keep talking?

Whatever. Bike time soon. Why are they talking about war again?

I am the law. We'll go to war when I say. March is always good.

Preemptive war, that's right bitches, my legacy has wings of fire. Suck it, Saddam!

Torture is ok, especially with animals.

Spying on Americans is ok, just try not to piss off the librarians, or the accountants.

Kenny Boy is not my friend. And his barbecue sucked. Enron is not a metaphor for my administration. Turdblossom told me that once before he got so distant. Where is everyone going, anyway?

Tom Delay is not really a friend, well, ok, he's just on a different level of friendship. I like to group things with levels. It's part of being a good steward of my management. Axis of Evil. That was good group right there. What the hell is an axis anyway?

Tribunals. I came up with that. And Fox News reports on what I decide.

Who are terrorists, though? Terrorists are those who might oppose my policies, or propose better ones. Sometimes they blow up Americans with planes of Mass Destruction. Wish I had seen that coming. I can't pay attention to everything, for the love of God. That's why I have Rumsfeld. Man has a mind more complicated than my own.

Dick Cheney shot a lawyer in the face. That's the funniest shit ever. I'm personally responsible for the deaths of tens of thousands of potential terrorists, and lawyers. Beat that, Dick!

It breaks my heart to see children die... so I ignore that as best as possible. Same goes for our soldiers. They deserve the same treatment I give to kids.

We can search your home without a warrant. Making up new rules is fun.

I don't remember Jack Abramoff, or his children. I do remember his money. That was nice of him. Where is he these days?

Why is John McCain holding me so tight, lately? And why does it make me tingle... down there? I'm not gay or anything, but I like strong men, even though he's completely nuts from all that torture.

He'll make a great president, even with those illegitimate kids of his.

Whats this? They say I leaked top secret info. Whatever. I declassified it. It's so easy to get around the law when you are the law. I'll just pardon myself-- and they will bow before my brass balls.

Thank God they still aren't asking us to release the energy meeting crap. We can't go around leaking classified info. Besides, that was so boring. We figured it all out years before we got here... just like Iraq.

I really did try to go through the UN. Those guys are idiots. They don't understand that I make the rules. They should try clearing some brush. I hope Bolton loses his shit and takes a few of them out.

How did that JB get in my hand? "No, no, don't drink me" Whatever! Down she goes.

So, bottom line is we've changed America. We redistricted everything to our advantage. We've rigged the system. We've shown that we're the party not afraid to destroy the constitution, except for the bit about guns (we need them to shoot terrorists).

I am a reformer with results, and history will be my judge. Or is that God? or Jesus? Or the Congress? I get them all confused.

Oh well, time to ride my bike.

I miss Jeff, so much.

[Richard Steele]

1. ROFL! Nicely done!

[ninkasi]

2. The most unqualified oaf in hundreds of years

has somehow stolen the presidency. He had a great deal of help, as we know now. Getting him impeached, and out of office, will be the first step in restoring America to the country our Founding Fathers sought to have. He is not only the worst president in our history, but the worst POSSIBLE president in our country's history.

I could not have predicted, even as much as I loathed the man, that he could bring about such monumental damage to our country in the 5 or so years he has illegally held office. He is a cancer on the American soul. We must vote for a Democratic congress this November, and try to repair some of the damage this idiot has caused. God help us.

[lumberjack_jeff]

3. Bwahahahah... uh... not *this* "Jeff", I hope. n/t